3.4.20

the fix of memory redux



autumn trees have no memory of their spring
                                                or their sapling years besides and
beneath the older trees they fought
and through odd fortune 
they grew  usurped them and fed at their decay like vibrant vampires 
seedlings come full circle


no memory

but if they did
a memory for just the past year
to remember being vigorous and green
now bare 
clutching a thin cloak of coloured leaves at their throats quietly
desperately
as the cycle is
and must be
and saplings not so very far away  flourishing

what would they think

would they think as I do
as I struggle with my infirmity
fight my regrettable emotions of being less than I am physically capable
                                                                             of my growth   
my greening and autumn


I revere the cycle
too many of my people have died to not

gentle cogs
             terrific gears
                             the spent tears of our unexpected lives
for which I am grateful
                         and saddened


such is the fix of memory


1919,   Monday,   20  6. 11


the Acting Secretary of the Navywho? Thomas Modley who the fuck is Thomas Modley?  Ah  businessman political appointee  following the Commander-in-Chief like a dog with its nose to his arse relieved Captain Brett Cozier of the USS Roosevelt for the letter he wrote to Navy command seeking to protect his sailors from death by Coronavirus

so nice a hack runs the Navy
1758,  Friday,  3  4. 20    

Coronavirus Anthem


1247, Friday,  3  4. 20
Dave Edmunds  I Hear You Knocking

Thanks For The Memories


one would think one should expect that managing the coronavirus would consume Agent Orange  aka Drumpfs time  yet  his legal team is seeking to manipulate the Election  


saddle up his accusation  the Democrats Impeachment Hoax The House did impeach him  took Washingtons eye off the emerging virus

this clown cobbles lies and excuses together as quickly as a spider spins thread



--  I don’t take responsibility at all.



--  I’d rate my response to the coronavirus a 10.



of course  wouldnt expect anything less would we

1234,  Friday,  3  4. 20



Jared Kushner resurfaced

he remains inane

nice to know some things dont change 

still cant find his ass with both hands

speaking at Thursdays Coronavirus presser regarding the Strategic National Stockpile he brayed  “The notion of the federal stockpile was it’s supposed to be our stockpile. It’s not supposed to be states’ stockpiles that they then use." 

. . its supposed to be our stockpile
                                       who are our


hed tuck Kushner in bed with governors Abbott and DeSantis Texas deems abortion a non-essential procedure  Floridas Johnny-come-lately Stay at Home order deems houses of worship essential businesses and can remain open

  Ahbrutha
               can nearly make one conclude that the wrong people are dying

1116,  Friday,  3  4. 20


Jared Kushner resurfaced Redux

the clownAgent Oranges administration provides cover


1425,  Friday,  3  4. 20
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/kushner-stockpile-trump-coronavirus

2.4.20


say Buhbye Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler a profiteer aided by her husband Jeffrey Sprecher and any politician who regardless of their stripe sought profit
1846,  Thursday,  2  4. 20



they looked at their wristwatch then up at him not glaring  accusatory more like something didnt smell good You’re wrong, you’re off by three minutes, you're three minutes late.

No  Im on time 

Three minutes he said as he tapped the crystal  maybe growing impatient

Im on Trilogy time my time

Trilogy  tr . . what? What’s trilogy time?

Its the time on the Trilogy ventilator my daughter used

Its the time Ive run my life by since August  Ran hers life


As a matter of fact it gave her time
                                                              

Which isnt something I could do or you   But I respect it 

And why Ill be on Trilogy time until time doesnt matter


Time will always matter.


he looked him not glaring or accusatory
                                           more like something smelled bad

1008,  Thursday,  2  4. 20
Stones  Time Is On My Side  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oSRvcdlgSI






he didnt breathe

  he sighed
             and sighing he turned his calendar to April  and caught unawares he sobbed
her birthday was this month

the day the year

through his tears trembling  after her birthday he wrote the month the day this year
her death

1101,  Wednesday,  1  4. 20

1.4.20


opportunities knock in the Republican world
                                                Fuck it  its a virus  a smokescreen
A brilliant opportunity! Drumpf and Barr might saymight collude


memorializing  ad nauseum

1812,  April Fools,  2020


White House admits the next two weeks will be tough
                                                          100,000 to a quarter million deaths

memorialising  ad nauseum

1756,  April Fools  2020


Aye yai yai 
            Ey . . Ey . . . EY he knew Faker knew Spanish   Me Me  ME!

evidently according to the president  New York hit Pay Dirt acquiring emergency Federal provisions for the coronavirus


just memorialising – thats what he did
1700,  April Fools! 2020


he hadnt walked this wayon the side of the road  in four months  truly   itd been four months he was called away suddenlyplucked like a weed
                                a tall proud weed conspicuous 
standing up straight                                                                                                                       

righteous?                                                                                                                               
probably                       

probably
           thats what beatings get you

getting beat

then getting back up


he learned from his beatings they taught him skills

he learned to defend himself and win  and then the challenges became fewer and fewer

because those who opposed him didnt like getting beat up                                                                  

some think its a dog-eat-dog world

he preferred equality

the long string of wins he enjoyed were wins he had convincing them  dog by dog




Ah it was asif the street hadnt changed in his absence which was impossible though he liked that he imagined it hadnt
that it stayed as it was  waiting for his return

maybe it did

there werent any runover crushed squirrels to pick gently up off the street

1337,  Twosday,  31  3. 20
1156,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  1  4. 20

not an April Fools joke


fucking Texas 

the coronavirus provides opportunities

2-1 The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals has banned abortions deeming them non-essential procedures

the dissenting judges name was published James Dennis however the two judges who ought to be forced as theyre forcing ought to be forced to support the children who may be born were not  perhaps they may believe “life begins at conception and ends at birth”

1348,  Wednesday,  1  4. 20


he closed Chazes Black Wings he was readingkept a finger in it to hold his spot and sat down on a bus stop bench to close his eyes and listen to the sounds of the construction site across the avenue the parkway listen to its hem and haw its buzz like out of a bee hive the buzz that was in his blood

he didnt listen long

the sounds these many years later werent as comforting as they once were there were no hammer blows the bang bang staccatothe measured blows that pounded a 16penny nail in with each strike
                                                                                       instead he heard the soundthe erratic pneumatic punctuation of nailguns the chachachachacha inhale of tanks filling the dry umbilicals dragged from place to place skittering like inorganic snakes and the dull slapshots they made as they banged against the plywood sheets that the workmen appliednailing the plywood to the skeletal studs while working off mobile hydraulic lifts

they were effeminate carpenters who wore fake nailbags and often fingered their cellphones fat men who pulled triggers their bellys hanging over webbed belts trussed and steadied by wide suspenders 
there wasnt an athlete among them  

but he supposed there didnt have to be the job wasnt physical any longer

there were no ladders scaffoldings or jacks lifts rather that wheezed like persistent ventilators aiding unwell patients  


AHhe shook his head and stood up  the buzz still in his blood 

he opened the book 
                     “Jeepie’s face became a tangle of shining black, a modernistic tangle of fluid and flesh where bullets from the cover tore into it . . .”

Kahrist he said closing the book on his finger again One more death Happy its literal   

1404,  Twosday,  17  9. 19
1047,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  1  4. 20

31.3.20



he came up to her on her bed and kissed her goodmorning then because there wasnt room to sit beside her he took a seat on a black metal folding chair at her feet

she smiled quickly at himher impish smile she was up to something she then returned her attention to her cellfone that she had been going through when he entered her bedroom  

she wasnt absently finger it certainly wasnt overtly deliberate

he sat  he began to ask her how her night wasif she had rested well

she smiled at him againbigger than the first as a song started from out of her fone


he wasnt listening just yet he was still occupied if she rested or not she hadnt been and he was also still preoccupied with his own thoughtsshaking out the cobwebs of his deep sleep and the stickier cobwebs of his crazedfantastic dreams

then he heard
             . . . Toast to the ones that we lost along the way . . .
                                                                        and he stopped thinking and listened
he didnt know the song

obviously she did


he tried his best to hide the tears that welled in his eyes

when he looked up at her he saw tears her eyes We’re a pair, aren’t we? she said

Yah Quite a pair

then they said nothing more  

just listened
              and listening looked into the others eyes

0901,  Friday,  20  9. 19
1213,  Twosday,  31  3. 20
Maroon 5  Memories



she was the lifeguard  shapely in her red swimsuit  her striking blonde hair pulled back into a heavy ponytail   

Ill take a deep breath he thought hold it throw up a hand go limp and sink towards the bottom



turning lazily as he drifted he saw that the surface looked like a sheet of mercury and he watched it split and boil as she shot through it and kicked down towards him

beyond her heels it went suddenly pale like components of a lavalamp cooling  congealing and as she swam it was like seeing her through a sheet of clean green cellophane

she curved and curled around him slid along his back and shoulders she was smaller than she had looked in the distance 

her hand hooked into his armpitthe crook of her elbow at his throat he felt her brace him hard  kick up  and kicking up they rose in a futuristic love embrace 
                                        a love with all the heat taken out of it
without affection

love of purpose


he didnt want her to be angry with him so hed inhale the green water suddenlyaerated by his escaping breath so she could save him from drowning

thinking about it  he nixed the idea 


there had to be better ways to meet a girl

1220,  Thursday,  19  9. 19
1059,  Twosday,  31  3. 20
Steve Winwood  While You See A Chance  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfpTSmlyqG4

30.3.20


he looked at his daughters as they sat together on the eldests bed it was in the tiled sunroom at the back of her house  

the bed was there because the room offered the least obstructions it afforded them the best access to her
                                                                                                              and one really couldnt beat the wall of glass between the room and the outdoors separated by the quiet simple white woodwork that concealed the structural posts and headers that supported the tall angled openbeam ceiling

it was a warm beautiful room
                                and after she was in it not but for a week she wondered out loud speaking to her husband and children Why didn’t we use this room more often?

then they shrugged in answer

she shrugged in reply Dumb.

she looked at him Dadu?

I agree Dumb Whats with the Dadu

she smiled I went to text you once, dad u running late, I think that was it, you know how much you don’t care for our shorthand when texting, and I struck d-a-d-u. I went to correct it, but saying it, Dadu, I found I like it, so I coopted it as my pet name for you; you and Mom had pet names for us, Sis and I, while we were growing up, but you and Mom were always Dad, Mom. Not much room for play.

So . . my pet name is owed to an error

she smiled bigger her wicked dimplesher lovely dimplesthe dimples she and her sister shared with their mother carved her cheeks he didnt have dimples  maybe he was envious that was their attractive familial trait aside from their sex that bound themthat made them an incorruptible bloc in their democratic household

especially on football Sundays


the girls were painted the light of the sunset reflecting off the tall bamboo grass that wove itself through the roots of old shaggy cypresses


Thats the damnedest sunset  Huh girls

they looked up at him briefly then out the window they had been too consumed in their conversation to notice

his youngest said  It’s a beaut, Dad!

his eldest nodded smiled big the ventilator mask she had placed on her face hissed as her smile broke the seal

the damnedest sunset happened to be just then under his finger his finger holding his place as he saw it peripherally the encroaching colouring in the room through the windowpanes
                                                                    so he dropped his head since he had their attention and continued to read smeared like sirup of opals over everything and dripping off the clouds the way molten metal comes out of the ladle in a steel mill

Thats Elliot Chazes Black Wings Has My Angel

Wouldntve expect that language out of a noir novel woudja

they shook they heads no
                            and as they did he flashed back to when they were little girls at bedtime and he read to them

it was a small comfort
                        when their comfort was a rare commodity

he smiled at them a small tear in his eye

his youngest smiled and said  We remember too, Dad. We remember too.



sometimes they talked without talking 

11ishness,  Thursday,  19  9. 19
1422,  Monday,  30  3. 20




he foundapparently  he was in the business of memorialising the words of the FAKE President

he didnt have a Twitter account
                                  but he found his way to cunts account to his offensive garnishing outlandish tweets  which he will remember were written the midst of the deadly Coronavirus outbreak 

his girlfriend had texted him about a virus in China in December and cautioned him then to exercise caution with extreme prejudice which made him laugh she used his line as he did whenever he was trying to make a point with her

his girlfriend because of her compromised immune system recognised that the virus was a threat to her in America

he texted  : :  Aren’t you being a little over the top

she texted  : :  NO


she advised him in December  shes an everyday common American  except she has a bent to protect her health whenever and however she can

she hit the nail on the head  drove in a 16penny nail with a single strike of her framing hammer          



@realDonaldTrump  0934 29 March 2020  “The Lamestream Media  ohso clever  wants us to fail. whos us That will NEVER happen!”


@realDonaldTrump  1006  29 March 2020  “Because the ‘Ratings’ of my News Conferences etc. are so high, ‘Bachelor finale, Monday Night Football type numbers’ according to the @nytimes, the Lamestream Media is going CRAZY. ‘Trump is reaching too many people, we must stop him.’ said one lunatic. if it was only one  who  See you at 5:00 P.M.!”


@realDonaldTrump  1048  29 March 2020  “President Trump the president refers to himself as President Trump is a ratings hit. Since reviving the daily White House briefing Mr. Trump and his coronavirus updates have attracted an average audience of 8.5 million on cable news,roughly the viewership of the season finale of ‘The Bachelor.’ Numbers are continuing to rise …”

almost breathless pronouncements


what an ahole

1345,  Monday,  30  3. 20   

29.3.20


she felt someone touch her shoulder

she turnedher breasts brushing the bar  turned to the side of her touched shoulder

even before she completed her turnsaw who it was they said You know, you’re gonna have to stop talking like that.

she recognised Daisys voice
                              her grandfather was Don he was the bus driver of the bus they took to work together
Daisy liked that her grandfather was driving and that she got to see him every weekday which excused her from seeing him on weekends with the rest of her family

Talk like what Daisy

What everyone in the bar can hear you talking  this . . this isnt the placeyou know, to be speaking as vociferously as you are.

Beth squinched her nose relaxed it Did you say vociferouslydija look that up knowing Id be here this evening  so cute coming out of your mouth
                           I think you might have been coached
I was coached?

Bill William  doesnt like my politics  And he doesnt like you having our friendship  Despite us preceding him

You’re ridiculous; he doesn’t like us having a friendship . .
. . No Bills heads up his ass when it comes to politics He spouts what his old man sayshe doesnt have his own position he does what Daddy says But that keeps him employed at Daddys business
                                                                                  And if you dont toe the line he cant have you to his parents house for dinners and gatherings

You forget youre a catch Daisy 

Anyone on your arm looks sharp successful


Daisys jaw had swung open hung

she closed it 
              How do you really feel?               

I feel I misspoke You know the meaning of the word vociferously

Jesus, Beth. Half the time, no, better than half the time, I think you come here looking for an argument; if you were a guy, maybe looking for a fight.

A woman can look for a fight too
                                   I appreciate that Bill would prefer you servile  accommodate him be a pretty face however Im the one putting egg on your face if you agree with me an you should you should  solely based on the fact that youre a woman  and the presidents a pig and Bill believes every word out of his mouth because Daddy says hes a good presidentmakes sound decisions

He is the president. But you call him the fake president . .
. . I do He is

He's the president; he’s our president.

Did you vote for him

You know I didn’t.


Hes a faker

He was elected.

He was

But hes never addressed mehe spouts what he thinksknows what his legions want to hearexcuse me His white legions want to hear

A racist . .
. . Yes And a liar A miscreant A misogynist A misanthrope  Like Bill a Daddys boyyour Daddy ever gift you millions of dollarsever pull your ass financially out of bad dealsbad debts you made
                                                                             Selfmade Suck my dick


Everyone in the bar heard you call him a fake president, and that makes you sound stupid.

Fake sounds stupid

You sound stupid when you call him a fake president.

Hes fake How is he fake Hes fake like when were fake when women are fake

Oh please, you want to malign women; you’re a woman.

I am then Beth smiledshe smiled that lusty lascivious wicked smile she was known for dicks grew as men caught the expression on her faceher profile reflected in the mirror behind the bar I am she growled deep in her throat 
                                                                                                                         and deeply and quietly she continued Joe my boyfriendyou know Joe youve told me youd fuck him if I wasnt seeing him my loyal Joe I told him youd fuck him if he wasnt seeing me he said hed fuck you to if he wasnt Joe my boyfriendmy determinedmy inexhaustible Joe who badly wants to pleasure me who is determined that I should cum too

But yaknow sometimes Im tirednot in the right mood and I just want a short sweet fuck

So I fake it

I must be a good actress or he just doesnt say And after all our lovemaking he cuddles meholds me in his arms from behind  And we fall asleep

I fake it

You fakeprobably every woman in this bar has faked it

But that joker fakes it day in and day out 

He doesnt have an honest bone in his bodyhe probably cant get a bone without a prescription 
                                                                                              Beth cleared her voice Hes fake  A fake president


Tell Bill I said so 
                  But I think he heard me earlier and may have tried to keep you with him rather than stopping over to see me say hello talk with your friend

Or worse sent you over to tell me to be quiet because I offend his sensibilities  Daddys sensibilities

I could imaginesorry him saying if I were a guy hed punch me in the mouth to shut me up

If I were a guy hed try to punch me


AhDaisy Nepotism can be a beautiful thinghuh It makes fake people

But I aint telling you something I havent said before


1431,  Saturday,  28  3. 20