that did itthat did it  that really did it 

                                        frosted his fanny

someone crossed the line

all the years he spent picking up dead animals off roads  placing their busted bodies in cradles of tree roots and beds of grass or leaves on quiet sand sifted from crumbling sandstone on stickled broken edges of fast hard highways

that did it

someone ran over a teddy bear

its crushed body lay at the edge of the road near haphazard scraps and shreds of dead truck tires

dutifully he braked pulled aside on the highway stopped  and walking back he picked up its remains off the road so not let latter drivers furthur desecrate its broken stuffed body

he had no idea how he was related akin to such animals

but by getting up in the morning and putting on his pants he was no different than they

he hoped that somewhere his difference might be noted

                                                           although if he wasnt he couldnt help but understand the necessity to group him among his humanunkind

it was better to destroy them entirely than try to pull out the very few who tried to make a difference       

1111,  Sunday,  10  11. 19

1436,  Twosday,  24  3. 20

Spirit  Nature’s Way  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvQa04JP73o

“Well, look, I’ll be the oversight. I’ll be the oversight.”

the man cant see his cock for his belly and he says he can oversee the distribution of a half trillion dollars to save the American economy -- with taxpayer dollars

                                                      Thank you, Republicans; and every American who voted for this Faker

1118,  Twosday,  24  3. 20

The Who  Won’t Get Fooled Again  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q   

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/i-ll-be-oversight-trump-volunteers-be-check-his-himself-n1167491                                                                                                            

all the President needs is his red Make America Great Again cap as he flips his coronavirus pressers into campaign events

https://www.businessinsider.com/coronavirus-trump-gives-himself-a-10-out-of-10-score-2020-3

https://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/trump-eager-to-end-social-distancing-as-virus-spreads-faster-81132101988

1108,  Twosday,  24  3. 20

       Are you?

                      Are you?

sometimes in the back of his head he hears small voices

his mothers voicehis fathers

Mr Wapplers

Why do you have to call them out? they asked 

Why can’t you just let them go?

Let them go

No 

   he let go of insects spiders creatures he captured that didnt know any better

what sense was there in letting go of someone who knows better 

his answers never failed to distress them

in their own ways they said if he didnt find a way to stop hed only cause himself hardships and stress

he hadnt forced the issue

he questioned their intentions their fictions  wishful thinking their attempts to sidestep the truth of the matter

that wasnt going to cause him distress

I should let them off

I should because they didnt expect to be called out

I cant help it if others choose not to challenge them

                                                       and unchallenged

falsely imbued

they feel empowered

their voices pique louder yet                                                                                                                       

he answered the voices in his head

Im returning their volley giving them what theyre not expecting

They can explain their reasons stand up their hypotheticals  

They exposed themselves 

They can defend themselves

I have no intention of suffering their consequences

I have to contend with my own

and only then

                answering their chorus

did he realised that they who he held upwhose thoughts and opinions he valued likely didnt challenge dictators

they werent confrontational

yet

               they instructed him to be

?,  Sunday,  3  11. 19

2118,  Monday,  23  3. 20

Murray Head  Say It Ain’t So, Joe  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-enIN21BWWI          

       

     SOAR!

                 it was on a greeting card

it sounded beautiful

 

                      when he imagined soaring he saw agile hawks and eagles hardsilhouetted against a blue sky
their soaring was natural  royal  and defiant

                                                  he preferred defiance it was probably some kind of slavish deficiency  a sloven genetic mutation that quietly unveiled itself revealed itself  

apparently his family was ripe

                                 and misfortunate genetic mutations have a cruel habit of suddenly exposing themselvesSURPRISE!

                       leaving them to contend with their horrible genetic consequences  consequences baked into the cake

BRCA-1

SUD-1

       lethal acronyms that had stood in line waiting to make their appearance

he detested acronyms                       

                     he had always tried very hard to deny their simplistic shorthand    

he detested BRCA and SUD as he detested CA

he wrote California

                     often he wrote Californicate or Californication

hed beaten the Red Hot Chili Peppers to the punch by years

they werent as clevernot as clever as they thought or someone thought up for them

SOAR!

he thought the card was cruel

his daughter couldnt lift her arms

the card giver inside it wrote her addressing her soul

her soul

he didnt give soul much credencenot right nownot while his daughter was fighting with every fiber of her body to survive

fuck soul 

Fuck soul he wanted her to win the longest shot of her life

it was no time to encourage her soul

2225,  Sunday,  3  11. 19

1103,  Monday,  23  3. 20

Guess Who  No Time  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKy4qhQNTLQ

Vanilla Fudge  You Keep Me Hanging On  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cft60HYb7Fs         

SEMPER FI

             Semper fidelis  he wondered if the driver knew the Latin

he looked at slivers of drivers facehis eyes butch haircut clean shaven puss his . . well . . for lack of a less accusatory description . . his smirking radiant white conservatism through the sideview mirror and an elongated rearview mirror which was beyond a diaphanous transparency that spanned the entire back window of the Ford SUPER DUTY pickup

SEMPER FI in khaki green was the transparency

the trucks paint job was unscathed a pristine shiny black

it wasnt a work truck 

and not being a work truck 

it must have been a fashion statementCHRIST

SEMPER FI 

             maybe once they were a Marine

they werent anymore

he was an athlete once

he wasnt anymore

he wondered as he made his lefthand turn behind him the driver seemed intent on him what exactly the pose was about

he saw it often among exmilitary

some kind of latent bravado

desperate to hold onto a bygone long-time-ago time

he might suppose the handgun in the Fords glovebox helped foster it

he supposed

              because he kept a Ka-Bar in his glovebox

he never served

he couldnt stomach anyone telling him what to do let alone doing whatever was demanded without question 

that takes a certain kind of mentality or diminished capacity he wasnt capable of

SEMPER FI continued straight onto the highway overpass eyeballing him the whole time until he turned right onto the entrance ramp

creep gave him the heebie-jeebies  

2021,  Thursday,  24  10. 19

1329,  Monday,  23  3. 20

The Original Caste  One Tin Soldier  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGY9k5PeoQA 

Im back . . .

              Inevitable came   and I wouldntve been anywhere else in the world

1139,  Thursday,  26  12. 19

1649,  Sunday,  22  3. 20

Bill Withers  Ain’t No Sunshine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PeyzXvvdmw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBN86y30Ufc

0811,  Monday,  27  1. 20

he was out of time

                       not out of time in the sense LA County fire chief Daryl Osby said . . . Unfortunately all the survivors (of the helicopter crash that killed former Lakers star Kobe Bryant) were determined to have perished.

if one perished  they didnt survive

he wasnt out of time in that sense

the clock hadnt run out on him

he was out of time in the sense that time wasnt influencing himit hadnt a stranglehold on him to do somethingbe somewhere  it had no demands  least not that he recognised

rather it ranit bled out without any importance to him

What time is it?

I havent a clue

I asked you what time it was.

Not only dont I have any idea he held up both his fists before his face Yasee a watch on these wristsYadont Dont ask again

had a whispera breath come out of his mouth hedve brained him

he didnt ask again

that was real smart of him

                            because currently he lacked any redeeming social skills or want to interact with another soul

he didnt approach anyone

he gave everyone a wide berth

he thought that was plentyhe was obvious he was discretely magnanimous

one would have to be blind not to see that he wasnt up to integrating  being a part of things

he was out of time

he wouldnt recommend it to anyone

                                      nor would he want anyone to have to endure what he was enduring 

though that was probably patently untrue there are too many people and too many places  odds were that thousands were enduring a similar crisis

he was terribly sorry

they had his sincerest sympathy

he almost thought hed bump into someone in the dark ether they inhabited  but then maybe they were in distinct bubblesshrouds that were charged alike and therefore quietly compassionately repelled each other

spared them

he needed some sparing

he needed to be left alone

1620,  Sunday,  26  1. 20

1957,  Sunday,  26  1. 20

Black Pumas  Colors  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0G383538qzQ

he wondered what he might wroite if he was unprompted

he had nothing in particular to say

                                     an unsounded bell  the Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao  the name that can be named is not the name of the eternal namethe nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth

the named is the mother of ten thousand things

he had bupkis

it was latelate at night  

he had a stiff neck 

he was running on three hours of sleepno dreams unreplenished sand in his eyes a real sad sack                                                              

he couldnt say what he had left

however every dry sponge can be squeezed hard and found to retain a single cell a hlao courtesy of Watership Down a cell resistant enough so to extract a bit of moisture or memory  a tenacious stale pocket wherein resides the makingsthe genesis of a possible oasis  an Eden  a continent named Africa  Humankinds cradle

                                                                                          despite certain white humanunkinds who try their ignorant level best to deny an debase the black Eve  the Mother of all human beings

secretly he hoped there others mothers

                                        by some black magic Liliths

to alleviatesubvert his lazy concern regarding incest

because without Liliths human breeds were incestuous

that said he never found his sisters sexually attractive

as the eldest child he changed scores and scores of their cloth diapers fed them burped them indulged them bathed them

No there wasnt anything sexually attractive about them

he never suffered that perverted snail winding in his brain

cell squeezed

               an innarestin daub of thought-forgotten moisture

he was tired

he was turning in

                                                                       into what?

2156,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  22  1. 20

                                                          1147,  Sunday,  26  1. 20

              

Lao Tsu  Tao Te Ching

he was a hardboiled eggtoo long in hot water 

                                                “. . . kind of a tonic . . . no matter how long you live there aren’t too many really delicious moments along the way, since most of life is spent eating and sleeping and waiting for something to happen that never does.”

why ohwhy hadnt he eaten the egg raw

taken it straight from the henyanked from her clutches

enjoy the consistency of its true nature

he thought things raw – in their true statetrue presentation to the world -- was the best 

kinda like a freshscrubbed woman  naked  without being bundled in clothestrashed by makeup doneup in lipstick eyeliner brushedblushed and scented

                                        asif scrubbed  au naturel  couldnt bring a guy around  

she aint supposed to be neon plugged in  flickering electric plasma

                                                                        anif thats what it takes to bring a man around like a moth he aint worth having GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL Notice to all hardheaded women and he thought NOT WORTH HAVING was because a guy doesnt choose – not really – the choice is always a womans

it was too bad so many women thought so little of themselves or Decide (-cided: deicide suicide homicide) to Settle

even if there are more women than men

perhaps the next phase of womans evolution will be like that of those species who change their sex when males are lacking insufficient  thereby allowing the species to thrive either as sequential hermaphroditism or gender fluidity

Humankind depends on women  not Neanderthals who beat their chests or seeking balance have to drop to their knuckles in order to stablise themselves  and make gorilla sounds  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWmZHrWSXkU

1010,  Thursday,  19  9. 19

1534,  Friday,  6  12. 19

Elliott Chaze  Black Wings Has My Angel

Ah the books passage reminded him of her Katie

                                                      “She made a pretty show of looking through her purse for something, pouting, the way a woman with a good mouth can pout.”

he trembled inside hoped he didnt betray himself the first time he saw her pout

he usually didnt pay particular attention to a womans mouth 

everyone has a mouth

                        but maybe because he was standing up close to hertaller than she and the pout came across her mouth subtly softly  he wanted to kiss her right then and therefeel the ridge of her pout against his lipsfeel it melt  under his mouth like sucking a hard butterscotch candy

a reckless submission

he didnt kiss her then

he told her not to dismay  he had put up her purchase knowing what she wanted so whenever she came in shed have it

she hugged him his cock moved she buried her face in his chest I like you so much

it was delectably innocent

she looked up into his face My boyfriend doesn’t like that I like you.

Your boyfriend doesnt tell you what you like or dont likedo or dont do does he

He tries. But no, he’s my boyfriend. I’m all me.

                                                 still in his armsstill in their embrace she was all herhe felt himself growing

she felt him growing Oh. You like me too. 

                                         she smiled largely fondly We should do something about you and I, shouldn’t we?

I wouldnt have thought youd think so

Maybe you haven’t thought so because I’ve always come in with him. I’m not with him tonight; obviously.

he smiled down into her face

her lips came out of their pout 

he raised his hand to her mouth and slowly ran his thumb across her upper lip her lower lip You have a beautiful mouth Katie 

he felt something move inside her  

her breath rose

                 It’s getting hot in here.

Yes

What shall we do?

What would you like to do

she stepped back out of his arms he wasnt holding her tight despite wanting to 

she looked up into his face

a beautiful smile ran across her lips

I don’t think I’d put you off.

Likely not

her smile brightenedher eyes sparkled mischieviously

she stepped into his arms again  I’d like to do you. he grew hard against her belly An I think she winked you’d like to do me. 

Yes  rose huskily from his throat

Come over tonight? I’ll give you my address.

Yes

what he understood about redheads but never experienced because he usually didnt find redheads attractive Katie was the exception  it turned out to be true

they didnt leave one rock unturned     

  

 earlier than 0850 when he recorded it,  Thursday,  19  9. 19  ( lotsa 9s )

1318,  Friday,  6  12. 19

I wouldn’t bet on it.

he didnt like the haughtinessthe subtle sneer on his face that pushed waterhumped it like a big fish swimming just beneath the surface the swell distortingrefracting the sunlight playing off it

                                                                               the moak seemed as unaware of his sneer as the fish would be unaware

childishly  he couldnt help himself he mimicked  I wouldnt bet on it

the sneer came on full  aware the fishs back broke the surface No. I wouldn’t.

disdain has to be met with disdain 

                                     which follows a natural course  as natural as ebb and flow as respect is met with respect or violence is met with violence or sooner if he saw it coming

Ah But youre not me and then with a slight Elvis snarl showing canine Are you

*   *   *

the canine slipped back under his lip leaving his counter to decide if or not he wanted to acknowledge the tooth

nuanced

a quiet facial expression

to read someone is pure nuance

meaning  the moak had to decide whether he intended violence or rather he was feigning it

he put the ball in moaks court

now he watched to see how he played it

since the intent  the I wouldn’t bet on it was his

the sneer melted away

maybe he called his bluff

or he was feigning

Christ he loved this gamehe may have been better at it than he thought he didnt like to think  he reacted to his nature he reacted understanding that he was responsible for his actions he was utterly comfortable with whatever the consequences might be

once you accept thatknow that everything flows and follows as should be

                                                                               is as should be  Fate?

nah  not really

more like an equation

like math

variables to an equation  =  an outcome a particular answer that particular “fate”

if handfuls of broken rock were strewn on the ground and he tossed a small red rubber ball onto the rocks

where it ends up

how it got there

is “fate”

smaller rocks

same ball

toss

the difference is in the variables

another “fate”

nothing is a sure bet

thats why you play the game

an as he thought – he was getting good at it

he certainly had scars to prove it

he was generously provisioned

right scars

wrong scars

so far they had healed

more importantly 

they healed before the next game

he was a quick healer

he remembered what he had to – tapped it as second nature – his pain informed his memory

pain the simplest reminder of Now Being in the moment

“Stay with me. Stay with me.” pain says the seducer

then with the recognition  a wry smile and smilingpeeling its fingers off his armknocking its hand away from his chest  Gotta go

“No. Stay with me.”

hes beyond its moment  Gotta go

the last  talon   slipped away

*   *   *

he watched moak watching his canine sliphide behind his lip  And so

So?

Where we at

I asked you  Are you 

                                             Are you

0847,  Twosday,  12  11. 19

1149,  Reggae Friday,  6  12. 19

Savoy Brown  Ain’t No Need to Worry  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ5zX5gdhK4