wending his way from something obscure   misty as far as he was concerned  the only way to fly

    “Thal ob Pirling . . . lay in the distant past”

                                                        Wha 

he was impatient

been needling him  this the second day

                                                conceded  Googled     Valley of Pirling

Pirling is not a real place  Oz

                                      an archaic verb  to twist, twine, spin, revolve sounds like wending

had he been patient maybe hell learn 

                                         Thal  was a clue         a valley

which may have sat on top his head  nestled    warmed the tips of his ears

                                                                                     Ja?

Ja

     Neanderthal

fossilised remains found in the Feldhofer Cave of Neander Valley THAL in Germany 1856 CE

although  even if he were patient Pirling would still have thrown him

                                                                          Thal ob Pirling 

that was an obsession of Adalbert Stifler a Bohemia-Austrian writer of the midNineteenth Century who was an early exponent of the German refined or poetic realism

this he learned from W G Sebalds essay To the Edge of Nature which Sebald kicked off with a quote from Franz von Baader

                      Seeing and thinking are two different things,/the one does not explain the other.

observing

researching

his process

binds the pair closer

                       and while he wend his way he read this astonishing sentence  accusation

It is well known is it that a pronounced pedagogic talent often goes hand in hand with repressed paedophilic desires.

know many teachers pedagogues

                                      word from Greek pedo  child  agogos  leader

also known as pedagog

                          dissecting

prefix

       pedo-  paed-  pedo-   means child

ped – agog

paed – agog

child – agog

              child eager child curious . . . to hear  to seesheesh

which then introduced him to ego-syntonic

                                              adjective compatible with the ego  conscious self-concept suddenly hyphenatedcaffeinated up the yinyang

                                                   thoughts wishes impulses behaviour are ego-syntonic when they form no threat to the ego can be acted upon without interference from the superego

                                                                                              noun  the moral component of the personality that represents parental and societal standards he pitched those long ago

determining personal now youre talkin standards of right and wrong moral immoral conscience  aims   aspirations

    if he were a dog hed be looking for a waterbowl  hopefully the water would be cool

he did warn he was wending

  

0032,  Thursday,  7  8. 25

1243,  Thursday,  7  8. 25

https://humanorigins.si.edu/evidence/genetics/ancient-dna-and-neanderthals

https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/psychopathology-and-personality-traits-pedophiles

https://www.msdmanuals.com/professional/psychiatric-disorders/paraphilias-and-paraphilic-disorders/pedophilic-disorder

Chautauqua to wrap ones head around

                                                                   credit Ezra Klein  hats off to Mahmoud Kahlil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2BLU3Gy3YE

0911,  Thursday,  7  8. 25

Jon Stewart and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmVot3SwqBE

been reading in bed at least a hafhour

                                       moral imperative crowded him niggled him distracted him

tugged at his attention which he rather it didnt as he read W G Sebalds Silent Catastrophes

appropriate

    whats an imperative

                             something  essential   something  urgent

moral

         action actions which afterwards is are deemed good  a betterment for all concerned and sadly  unconcerned

moral

         realise immoral things are being done in Americas name  federal state governmental actions blatantly cruel  “credibly” deemed insufficient

                                                  ratchtedup  depraved

one scalding reason why people hide their identity behind ski masks

                                                                                   I'm only following orders.

as Nuremberg defendants defiantly protested

they dont want to be ostracised

immoral things done by Americans

cant miss the forest for the trees

 

Shes unrecognisable

matching socks paired by blind people

                                         they dont need to match to function

In what capacity?

Capacity?

For what purpose?

Right?Wrong?dependent on what?

                                            FUCK

when fucked so many many times  how does one know when its love

guessin round midnight,  0000,  Wednesday,  6  8. 25

0834,  Thursday,  7  8. 25

he erupted

           

                      he didnt often go off like Krakatoa 1883 – Vesuvius 79 – Mount Aetna 1669 – Mount Saint Helens 1980

                  but akin to them monumental

which muddied his imaginings of another  or the next   of equal magnitude she hadnt a clue what she wrought

he didnt see it coming

                         itd been a longwhile since she emailed him a sensual artful erotic nude photo

flabbergushed himnearly threw his back out

                                                 nearly

turned him inside out through his cock

                                              no small feat

    what he did to deserve such a delicious pleasure he knew not

nor would he question  

2339,  Tuesday,  5  8. 25

1002,  Wednesday,  6  8. 25

0839 this morning

                          evidently he was done  goose cooked?

the slight sliver he took off the wood rakehandle on Sunday in the tender web also called the first web space thenar web space his odds-on favourite purlicue web between his thumb and indexfinger also called forefinger went off like a turkey Pop Up timer its internal temperature onehunredsixtyfive degrees

                                                                                         Being prettyfuckin elaborate

You were here

                  Distracting

It was Ridiculous how such a small thing is such a large irritantcaptures ones attention

Ja

    How woudya say

Like a nigglinglybad marriage neither willing to shit an get off the pot It’s his fault! It’s her fault!FUCK  its their fault

My Tha was colourful

                        Drastic   But colourful

Ya asked

             You a take

Do I have to compete

Its not a competition

                       You asked I said    Im askin

Small thing big irritation     Lemme think

                                                        Im havin a hard time movin off your definition

Take your time

Sorry   Nothing elaborate

                                Overnight A whitehead acne vulgaris   Good for you   Thank you   Erupts on the end of your nose   Gruesome   Grew one Anya woke latehave to rush to high school   Anyoure a girl

Well done  For one whos never been to high school

We came uponsorted through memoryboxes stacked to the dome everywhere an happened upon high school remembrances

Sordid huh

    Why were you even there

Gotta suppose it was to acquireem  

Wednesday,  6  8. 25

You didnt have daughters

                                   Ya missed out

    How’s that?

To be a properly involved parent

                                       Grrls

More work less work

How do you mean?

Women unfortunately have to confrontI mean confront Mans World horseshit  But then easier to work with because as grrls young women  properly attended  loved tha they left cockclutching boys in the dirt

    Cock clutching?

Ya remember  Anya had three

                                   Don tryantell me they didnt spent a lot of time playing with themselves  Ive tolerated a hafdozen nephews an being an elder cousin my younger cousins foisted on us lotsa clutching

Haf the time hard to play catch with

I was an involved parent. looked pained

    Ya sit withem evenings at the kitchen table while they did their homework read their papers makeem rewrite question their referencestheir understanding of subject matters

Ya talk toem about the birds an the be . .

. . They got tha at school

School

             Tha shoud have been at home   A parents obligation not schools

 

You participate in PTAparticipate help create plan school events  activities  chaperone dances

High school  I put in seven years

Tell me the years you invested

    I invested.

When I married I didnt bring a lot to the table aside from being the eldest of ninemiddle  manager

I wasnt gonna make a lot of money but I knew between us wed get along

Her father  He’s a dead beat.

    I was the hardest workin deadbeat either ofem ever laid eyes on

Of tha Im certain       

Saturday afternoon,  2  8. 25

2317,  Tuesday,  5  8. 25

He broke my hearthe pulled back   He was the last person I expected to punch a hole in their character  sink it

Who?

Pacino

What film?

Cant think of its name right now risque for its time Friedkin  Exorcist   director 

                                                                                     Whaya gonna do

Suck it up  A defeat

That’s pretty harsh.

He had Needle in Panic Park two Godfather films Serpico Dog Day Afternoon behind him  A fuckin colossus

    Pulled away  receded

How?

Wasnt true to his character

                             Films about Pacino as an undercover cop tryin to catch a serial killer of homosexuals

sharply  Homosexuals?

Early Eighties  Wha did ya callem

                                       You remember or thenagain  raised in a sleepy little ag town

Many homosexuals in your parts

I’m sure there were.

Gays bars

Good God no.

Good God

            Yareally think so

Creeps got billions of billions of cubic feet of hot blood on His handshands of His fervent believers

                                                                                                       Off point

I digress

Saw the film at a theatre downtown Minneapolis  Only time Ive seen it  Im sayin tha because youre gonna ask wha put me off

    I cant say I remember  I was terribly disappointed   

Rest of the film a blur

Maybe it was in the script, maybe Friedkins direction.

No

     You understand wha a model is wha an actor is

I do.

Then youd agree a model is nothing more than a clothes hanger

No.

Youd agree an actor auditions for parts they want to inhabit

    Inhabit?

Ja

How do you mean?

I got a feelin this is going to become ugly

                                               Whas inhabit  Live in   Occupy      Ever act

I did not.

Not a grade school play

No.

    Right  Ag town U S A

A model is nothing more than a human clothes hanger an actor wants nothing more than be tha written imagined flesh an blood character

                                      Be authentic

They wanna put their stamp on the character

If a character is realised inauthentic

                                       Nobodys gonna buy it

I said the rest of the film was a blur

Tha was my deep disappointment

    Maybe it was written in the script.

Maybe

           Never know

Although yaneed to get your head on straight about wha serious actors demand of themselves

They are inhabitants  Auteurs ifya woud in front of the camera

Saturday afternoon,  2  8. 25

339preferred,  5  8. 25

Al Pacino  Cruising  1980  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpJ5K8Vt5V8 

    she asked  Why do you continue using acronyms while talking to me or texting when you know full well Ive asked you to stoptheyre retarded to me  Youre only emphasising your retardedness

I wish you wouldn . .

. . Wha

           Use retard retarded retardedness

Is there an acronym for it

                            T A R D  The assholes really dense

My God, close my eyes listen I’d think you were a guy.

I know you don like the terminology  You quit  Ill quit

                                                         Though I know your habits harder to break

Stop callinya TARD will be easy

Just made it up

    I guess we’ll have to see.

Then keep in mindas Ill not forget cross meyoull own it in hafaheartbeat

Maybe, please, before we institute this initiative . . . can I sputter only two more acronyms that have to do with what we were discussing?

Christ 

       Got me so wrangleddisturbed I may have forgotten wha we were talking aboutNo  no I know  Yet another subject Ive also asked you to stop talking to me about because I do not care for it at all  At  All

    Statistics  Data

Devoid of humanity

It’s legitimate.

 

Can I? last two.

Youre lying

            Youll Oops I forgot  But youll not have because you like to provoke me

Have I ever told you how attractive you are provoked?

Suck my cock

Tellin’ ya, if I closed my eyes I’d think you were a guy.

Theyre mine from the best relationship I ever had with a man

                                                                                    

    May I? last two L L N.

Means nothing

                 Havin a hard time listenin

S S S.

Quickly  say

I believ . .

. . Whaever ya want  I don knowem

                                        Say

watching her face for any recognition

                                         Law of Large Numbers. Small Sample Size.  got dead fish

 

B B B  Ya know

    B B B.   B B B.     I don’t know.

Of course you do

I don’t.

Come on Youre always eggin me onanon bout it

I don’t.

You do

          Don play stupid

tad irritated  I think you’re mistaken.

Big Breasted Babes  Bountiful Beasts of Bucharest

                                                       Of Ruth  cracked herself up

he probably forgot he shared

Bugs Bunny went off in her head  What a maroon!

Saturday afternoon,  2  8. 25

1149,  Tuesday,  5  8. 25

Bugs Bunny  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSZ1h-bydS4

Methinks, if I may . .

. . You did

I did.

         Methinks you’re woke.

Why

Your illliberal, three Ls.

                           Seem always to be outside the box.

Ill take tha though   I may be more

More?  How so?

Ur  Woke

Thank you. I believe I am too.

Ur   Not youre

                  Though I believe you are too

Oh.  Ur  U   R.

Primitive original  first came first served

                                            Tha said comin in I did help myself to top shelf products

That again.

Im sorry ya didnt have the experience

                                          It shows

Come on, man.

Ya got one compliment out of me don want it goin to your head  Keepin ya evenkeel

Ah, I see how it goes.

Came an went

I may have to reassess your wokeness.

 

 

I may have to reasses . .

. . I heard

You’re not curious?

I don want to know how your mind works your ball  run with it

You’re no fun.

Keep up or Ill lose you

Awrigh . .

. . Yet again mine  Two in few minutes

                                          Youre welcome

    Thank you.  Awright.    Neo-woke.

No thank you

You don’t like it?

Neo  New

             I prefer primitive  Closer to the touchstone

Hard to be moved off it

Stubborn.

Willful awkward difficult

    You said it, brother.

Best to know urself

Saturday afternoon,  2  8. 25

1053,  Tuesday,  5  8. 25

Pianza  Nightmares  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTzK8-WAB2Y

So lemme get this straight been a long time since I made a road trip to ToledoO HI O

Really?  Ya gotta say it like that?

Ive been sayin it like tha since I was we were kids

Yahave.  You have.

                       I just thought yawould have outgrown it.

Methinks impossible for me to outgrow fun

                                                Tickles me something fierce

If it irritates you I apologise but Ill not stop ToledoO HI O

    You’re a real peach, brother.

Peachie keen

              Yastopped for coffee

No, pit stop off the highway.  

There were slot machines

Lotsa slots.

You figured youd been sitting awhile time to stretch your legs wander the  was it a casino

No. In the lobby in a games room off the diner.

    Anya saw her

Don’t say it like that.

Wonder Woman

                     Did it have like  a photograph of Lynda Carter or was it a graphic comicbook rendition

Carter. In costume.

Whad Dad think

When I found him he was already on a machine. We agreed fifteen minutes, get coffee, something to nibble, hit the road again.

But ya stayed an hour won better than a hunred dolla . .

. . Dad just shy of a hundred.

A worthwhile stop

Tell me about it.

                  When we were kids we stopped there. No machines then.

Oh  I think I remember

                             On a corner farm house cornfield beyond

That’s it.

No shit

             So now when you take Dad to a local casi . .

. . I play Wonder Woman, he plays Quick Hit.

Returning from ToledoO HI O saw the irritation in his face but thats what little brothers are for  he had four  ya stop again

Bet yer sweet ass.

                      Didn’t win as large but didn’t stay as long.

I always took you as a card player

I had been, but I have to admit the lights the sounds are more exciting, stimulating.

Visual

Yakiddin’ me. Lynda Carter Wonder Woman.

                                                Remember how intently we watched? disturbed their little sisters

nodded mute   passive acquiescence

                                         mind ran off somewhere

crotch warm 

    

1725,  Monday,  4  8. 25

0918,  Tuesday,  5  8. 25

Cryobiosis  Condensation  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVdU3G50Mvs