Oh  WORD

               Microsoft WORD

programme refuses to giveup on him

if it operated with AIhe believed it did

                                          it could piss off  

if its algorithms were synched with him

                                           they were retarded

anbecause it was

he was vigilant

                     he used to call himself thorough

now anal

a machine made him anal

                            he wrote

tobasco hot sauce chose not to capitalise it

                                               looked againcreepin suspicion he misspelled it

tabasco is the correct spellingcaught himself

                                                caught WORD

it changed the spelling to tobacco  which in context of the sentence wouldnt have made any sense

wrote that he was making a Bloody Mary

                                              watched him freestyle tabasco

whod freestyle tobacco into a Bloody Mary

he could he would give AI an F

                                  obviously  would not promote it to the next grade

for such a dismal performance

0904,  Sunday,  18  8. 24

1454,  2sday,  20  8. 24

house chores were done

he was going to take an afternoon walk

on his way out he stopped with each cat told them hed see em in a bit

they lazed think lions of the Serengeti

                                      their routine

went out through the back door

                                  knew he frustrated people who came knocking at the metalscreened security door  could see into the house  car in the carport  theyd knock he didnt answer

he was walking

                  but

often he also chose not to answer the door

                                             wasnt law he had to stop what he was doing to accommodate them

impeccable timing usually OnethirtyTwo  his outdoor ferals waylaid him for a treat

                                                                                          which was their routine

which as it was becoming evident he nurtured

two been hanging out ten years

                                  their feral routine

those he could pet

two others would rip his arm off if he tried

                                            he understood FERAL

friends and family described him in kind

                                              or caveman

he countered  Luddite

they descended on him

                         two on the tarmacked driveway  two on the front porch

he went wide around on the drive to get to the car where he kept the treats

fetched

           he came back around shaking the Temptations  MixUps

wee was beside the metal security door

                                          Hello babehere ya go

placed morsels on her plate

walked over towards bigfoot bigfoot walked towards him out of style  sat on his haunches

                                                                                                 Wha the hell old man

over his head onto the scruff of his neck hanging below his chin a veil of black widow cobwebs broken dried leaves

Really farouk

               veils reminded him of the Middle East eunuchs  harems

he helped

           to his amazement it lifted complete off his head like a baseball cap

muttering Thawas something

                                treated bigfoot

he treated the velociraptors Robert a testicledTom   grimley

                                                                grimley a she could easily have been Roberts offspring  orangecream tabbys

returning Temptations to the car he headed down the hill  over his shoulder he thanked them

                                                                                                  called them Watchcats  My Library Lions

    not Hemingways Key West six-toed cats                                                                                              

but  theyd  do

   

1326,  Monday,  19  8. 24

1350,  2sday,  20  8. 24

https://www.hemingwayhome.com/our-cats

They . .

. . Who

    You got to do that?

I have to

Sorry. I’ll be no helpglimpsed them on the tube, the shot cutaway to a supporting video. I turned it off but the word hung in my ear.

Youre sure you heard them correctly

I did. Virality.

               Virality of the campaign.

Not virility

    No certainly not.

Did you just sneer

Did I? She’s running, a woman wouldn’t be described as virile.

Why not

Virility is descriptive of men.

But not necessarily

                     Woudnt it also describe an energetic vigorous robust masterful  forceful  woman

You think so.

I do

Yes, but you’re also the same person who describes, has described, beautiful men.

Yes

They’re not.

Perhaps not in your experience

                                 But you woud be reticent given your homophobic tendenciesnot tha theres anything wrong with tha

he chuckled

Was there a joke?

There was Seinfeld

                      no lights went on   Virality   Meaning

What?

Describe it to me

Viral.

Internet  Social media

Yes.

Circulated rapidly  Lie goes hafway round the world before the truth can get it shoes on

I would suppose so.

Metrics  Marketeers

                      Id think a campaign ought to be more granular

No.

     That’s up to voters.

Like reading a menu Tha sounds good Order it Tastes like shit

                                                                        Ya keep eatin it

You ordered it.

I can taste in the first bite it tastes like shit  I return it

You have to pay for it.

You have to pay for it  I woudnt 

                                      Im determined to get my moneys worth

Determined.

              That’s an understatement.

Actually hur hurhur its virility

                                A mans a womans

If I were a woman an someone had the audacity to describe me describe my muliebrity  Id punchem in the throat

You made that up. Mule. Stubborn.

An ass

Yeahsure.

   Wha an ass

                 On her 

Look it up

Maybe lat . .

. . O E D Oxford English Dictionary  Characteristics qualities of a woman  womanhood  womanliness

                                                                                                               Get this

As opposed to virility

See?

Yes  I can see tha yanever had sex with a virile woman

                                                            Your loss        

1317,  Sunday,  11  8. 24

1201, 2sday,  20  8. 24

https://latin.stackexchange.com/questions/19476/both-f%C4%93mina-and-mulier-mean-woman-whats-the-difference

Seinfeld  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0pPPkkT7GI

he wanted to go outsideout from under the cueball lightbulb livingroom fixtureout under the sun into the slight saltbreeze off the ocean

               Comon lets go outside  Bring your drink

It’s a bit chilly, isn’t it?

Put on a layer

she looked puzzled

A sweater sweatshirt another tshirt

Ah. Gotcha.

Great

        Ill meet you outsidewell sit with the sun on our backs

Sun sounds good.

Yes

     as she began down the hall he called after her Takin your drink with me

opened the door

sun flashed him

                 Wha No raincoat  in his head he heard Hur hurhur   the sun

who cajoled who was beyond him

Mel chose a poncho

                     he asked as a Zappaishly as he could Is tha a real poncho I mean  Is tha a real Mexican poncho or is a tha a Sears poncho

gently shook her head side to side

                                     What are you talking about?

continued Zappa  Hmmm  No foolin

    What are you talking about?

she had no clue

he handed her her drink

                             Sun feels good huh

Yes.  What were you talking about?

Zappa

        Lines from the Book of Zappa Bibles got nothing on him anhe was probably as voluminous however one can legitimately say theyre His actual Words

Bible really gives you a hard on.

    You give me a hard on

                             Speaking of which  witch

sipping her Dark and Stormy loved she dug dark rum sputteredalmost choked

                                                                                          catching her breath  Don’t do that?

played innocent  which made no sense

                                      Wha

Which witch.

A Dark an Stormy creature

                              Which witch white or other   wise

    Other. Wise. Or otherwise? Never can tell with you.

Keep you on your toes

You do.

I tell people youre a witch

And they believe you.

Its howya tell it if they do or don

An you’re convincing.

Because its me tellin it

Because you.

Yabetcha

                I was thinkin

Ohmy, you have to do that?

he laughed hardily took a good pull on his straight Myers

                                                               I have to

Otherwise I hurt myself not

she sighed

             Will this be a pearl of wisdom

Pearl

       Istha wha I do

   It’s something, whatever you call it.

Mel  Youre so kind to me 

                             So . .

. . Stop.

          You’ll get infatuated . . . intensely . . draw me into . . .    Later?  she asked she laughed

her laugh like a wind chime

                           You tickle me

You tickle me.

                 What were you thinking?

You know how I dislike football commentators

Dislike with extreme prejudice, yes. You’re the first guyHell only guy Ive ever met who mutes them plays music instead.

Awwsweet I was your first

                              Makes me feel like a virgin

had her drink to her lipsdidnt sip  eyed it eyed him

                                                        Really?

Lets pretend

sipped

          swallowed   We’ll pretend. What about the commentators?

I got a spin a take on comments

                                    Possibly Id listen

    What could possibly make you listen?

I was thinking

                   he paused in case she had something more to say  I was thinking I coud tolerate them   if

What?

          If what?

    If  not football   but porn commentators  commenting on the validity of the seduction varied positions agility flexibility  array of     Wha

                                Yaoughta see your expression

I can feel it.

Didn’t see it cummin

Wasn’t a pearl she chuckled   Rather a pearl necklace.

   Yathink

You?

        Oh I know. 

Good idea

    An idea.

1811,  Reggaefriday,  9  8. 24

1205,  Monday,  19  8. 24

Zappa  Camarillo Brillo  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkppN14ugMo  

https://themagickalpath.com/2022/08/07/19-types-of-witchcraft-which-witch-are-you/

Madonna  Feel Like A Virgin  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s__rX_WL100

walking into her friends apartment she was greeted Leave him be. before she could say Hiya. as she let herself in

Leave him be. was directed at her friends boyfriend who was a bit of a pain in the ass to her but who enthralled Tara

shed concede he was goodlooking athletic funny witty 

                                                          shed concede she wished she were to drink from the well first

But, ohwell.

they went to a party met him there

Early bird catches worm

                           thats how Kate consoledconsoles herself

truth be known

she had first crack at him

after they were introduced she was pulled away by friend who was oblivious to her hints 

when Tara was introduced she dug in her heels didnt let anyone pull her away

Tara was better with No than Kate

 Leave him be.

What’s going on?

He’s got that bug up his ass.

Tolkien.

You know him so well.

Hmm. I suppose I do.

                       she was acutely surprised 

whenever they got togetherpretty frequent when he held court he didnt dominate he spoke of wild things like no one else they knew  they looked agog at each other and smile

frankly Tara had said as much

                                  the only thing she had on Kate was her sharing a bed with him

If he only wouldn’t read as much.

                                    Reads somethingsuddenly he’s infused stuffed something . . his brain chemistry screams.

Off an running.

Like a mustang stallion on an open range pursuing a mare.

    That’s graphic.

That’s his. I should have mentioned I was quoting him.

Might conceive you’re the mustang mare.

Thank you.

It’s Tolkien.

He’s spiderspinning it, his, he’s obsessed.

Passionate.

Look at you putting a polite spin on it.

sideglanced

             It’d be awfully nice to be obsessed passionate yeah.

    Yeah. I have brief bouts.

Me too.

But then they halt.

Halt.

       A perfect description.

Like a Naziguard in a World War Two prisoner-of-war encampment.

That.

       That’s perfect. I’m stopped cold in my tracks. 

Me too.

But when it’s hot . .

. . It’s scalding, fire, volcani . .

. . An eruption.

Yes.

      Know what triggered him?

I do. Fresnel lens.

What’s that?

You really want to know?

Joe explained?

You know Joe.

Awright.  Hit me.

   A Fresnel lens replaces the curved surface of a conventional optical lens . .

. . You kiddin’ me?

Tara opened her eyes

                        Please please, don’t interrupt. I’ll lose my train of thought, it’ll pull over into a waystation a sidling and we’ll be stranded, won’t get back on track.

I’m sorry.

           Replaces the curved surface of a conventional optical lens.

Yes.

     Replaces the conventional lens with a series on concentric groovesDON’T! I said groovy.  Tickled him.

These contours act as individual refracting surfaces that bend parallel light rays to a common length. Think lighthouse lamps, have you ever seen one upclose?

Yes. Nantucket. I understand completely.

                                            Joe say where he learned of Fresnel lens.

He couldn’t say.

                  Said, No, but I’m fortunate I can withstand the bombardment.

He is beset.

Beset. Beasty.

                  Got your hands full, grrl.

1313,  Reggaefriday,  16  8. 24

1240,  Sunday,  18  8. 24

Whawe got here  a failure to communicate

    he thought he understood the trafficked concept of Right of Way

two cars converge on an intersection one northsouth other eastwest

                                                                         the car to the right northsouth proceeds first

what he didnt understandevidently was that there was another Right of Way

                                                                                   a persons right to wear blinders

blinkers if one rather

seeing neither right or left

also who neednt come to a full stop at a STOP sign

                                                      but slow an roll into an intersection

assuming their Right of Way

                               which according him

is a Rite of Way

he didnt drive frequently

certainly not without need

he put twentybucks in his gas tank

                                        filled up

once a monthfrequent

this time out

one mile four tenths either direction

twice he submittedsuffered the Rite of Way in each direction

                                                                  each a middleaged women

who wore very black sunglasses  thick blackframes

necks broke

rolled intothrough a STOPped intersection

    he had a premise

since likely  men quit scoping them out years ago

                                                      this was their moment to shine

Ya see me, you see me, you see me NOW!

I do

      I see driedup peaches

WHAT?

Lemme finish lemme finish

                             Bitter as raw almonds Bitter as raw almonds containing traces of prussic prudessic acid hydrocyanic acid  a solution of hydrogen cyanide and water  its organic byproduct  poison cyanide

Havent had a roll in the hay for years

                                        YES  I see you

possibly married newer highend vehiclesthey looked like imperturbable Jacqueline Kennedys sans bouffant sans pillbox hat

    they did irritate him

but more often than not women did

                                     particularly

broke neck women

1330,  day-between-2-Ts,  14  8. 24

1111,  Sunday,  18  8. 24

https://www.thespruceeats.com/what-are-bitter-almonds-1806996

out of the blue   

                  Abattoir

Abattoir.

Yes

What of it?

Cant call it wha it is

                        Gotta to use a euphemism

she laughedabruptly  it fell out into a chuckle

                                                   It is what it is. 

What do you prefer?

I like slaughterhousereally like factoryI like when I go to the market an approach the butcher counter ask for a cut of meat thats not in the refrigerated section say a twoanahaf threeinch thick ribeye tha they tell me they cant help There is what there is. We have only what the factory sends us.

                                                            Can you special order it

I think provide service to ones customer                             

We get what the factory sends us.

Can you special order it asking again because they didnt answer the question an mind you this is a manager  I always go to the top leave the peons alone

I don’t know that I would use peons and meat in the same sentence.

    Yajust did

she rolled her eyes

You know wha Im sayin

I always know what you’re saying. You’re explicit. pinched his cheekshook his head by it for a secondtwo

                                                                                                                  So cute.

he pokerfaced her

                     but it failed  he smiled

I like you can put up with me

Ifya weren’t good in bed it’d have been Hit the Road Jack a long time ago.

My names not Jack

No?

    What day is it?I thought today was Jack’s turn.   I’m sorry.

he grabbed her by the wristsforced her arms behind her backkissed her roughly pulling his face away from hers he kept her tight

she smiled

            What day is it? Which one are you?are you the new man?

she lunged forwardkissed him  split his lip

appropriate

              considering the onset subject

phonaesthetics

                 walkaway Tolkien

  

0824,  Sunday,  18  8. 24

0909,  Sunday

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/feb/21/tender-is-the-flesh-agustina-bazterrica-review

Ray Charles  Hit the Road Jack  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7we2esorg1g