opened a box tightly packed with old science fiction paperback books  a treasure trove

                                                                                            Kuttner Biggles Simak Dick Pohl Bradbury Cordwainer Smith Heinlein Silverberg Sturgeon del Rey Lieber Blish Leinster Kornbluth Campbell

it smelled like oldcheese  unwashed feet

    it smelled great

GREAT

         theres a spectrum

EVERYONEs on it

Limburger didnt gag him

a filled plastic diaper pail didnt gag him

only onceimmediately remedied pussy

                                          after a strenuous hike they had intended to camp overnight fell asleep before the fire were woke by rain

reason

          not an excuse

immediately remedied

as a boy workers broke the street excavated a sewer line put up horses to keep people away when they left

a boy is not people

got a flashlight

descended wandered the cavernous sewersystem for hours

when he got home late that night came into the house in through the enclosed backporch off the kitchen

                                                                                                            Where have ya . . get outside get out of those clothes hose yourself off.  his mother she and his father were in the kitchen having coffee and cake He smells like ass. his mother

he didnt notice

reason

          not an excuse

by then his nose had been broken in fights with older boys who beat him

                                                                                 eventually

he remedied those defeats

    sense spectrums exist

                             sensespectrumsexist  PRETTY

1051,  Monday,  29  7. 24

had too much to drink last night

couldnt stop pouring  

then in one burst of ambition he cut him offtook his keys

                                                           he wasnt going anywhere

NO

     he was home alone

woke in the morning achy had to chuckle

                                           Achy alchy Serves ya right bitch

ran a hot tubtossed in a handful of mineral salts

getting inlying down cranked the heat with his foot until he almost couldnt tolerate it 

                                                                                         tolerate squared

half the time he couldnt tolerate himself

                                            still

to this point he had had to chuckle

                                          wondered if thatd grow old

reached back overhead cupboard grabbed a washcloth submerged it in the steamy water sliddown closed his eyes laid it over his face

                 wondered if molding in a wet grave would feel like this

   silent

dogs in the neighbourhood quit baying

                                         nice   very nice

laid there

maybe he fell asleep

                   a soft fizzingpopping sound  like really small frogs might croak afraid bigger frogs would find them eat them fiizzzzzzzpop fizzzzz popfizz  fiizzzzzzzz pop  pop

                                                           gently he slipped the washcloth from his facelooked at his feet

BUBBLES

            bubblyBBUBBBBLES

saw the last of his feet crumble  dissolve

   dissolve Alka-Seltzer had to chuckle

                                          Alchy-seltzer

soft bubbles softereffervescence had to chuckle

                                                   Speedily

he dissolved

 

0757,  Monday,  29  7. 24

1051,  Monday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iENQXIQ8wH0

sometimes dumb like a stick

                               he opens his mouth thinking hes telling him something about politics he doesnt know

mans a dog that dont hunt

leave him at home with the womenfolk and children

                                                        he can bark  he can play fetch with them

stick texted  :  :  Walz. A possibly VP pick.

  :  :  Yah

              Vice President Harris requested vetting material from six potential candidates Governors Roy Cooper Josh Shapiro Gretchen Whitmer Tim Walz JB Pritzker Senator Mark Kelly

Walz possible  ya not paying attention

Whoever Harris chooses whoever she jives with

                                                   An eight year date Better damn well get along

  :  :  It helps.

  :  :  Not helps fuckin critical   Critical

  :  :  Like a marriage then.

  :  :  No Only eight years

                               Marriage requires love

  :  :  Which is longer than most marriages.

wheres that coming from

                             stats

  :  :  Were a small sample size as you like to say

  :  :  Small but vocal and influential I like to think.

whats he talkinbout

                       their marriagestheir wives died were twentytwo thirtyfour years respectively

  :  :  I was referring to the years our marriages endured

 

nothing

               nada

good fuckin thing

next thing hed have sharedtexted  :  :  Woudya put a sock in it

hadnt used that line in years but it was pawing begging like a ill-behaved dog turned outside for being bad

Go, go to your doghouse.

                            Go to your doghouse.

1858,  Sunday,  28  7. 24

2125,  Sunday

a gnat was at the back of the basin as he brushed his teeth readying for bed

                                                                                     it irritated him

a guided mote

                orasmuch as a gnat could

What is gnat consciousness

   Kill it

           Human beings do it every day thoughtlessly

kill it because its disturbing him

                                    kill it for its indiscretion its thoughtlessly   bugging

lodging the toothbrush in his mouth he picked up a damp washcloth to snap it

Walkaway

             Gnat doesnt know what you knowcant imagine what you can

Thats justification

To kill it

           Or walkaway

    he set the washcloth down finished brushing his teeth eyeballing the critter the entire time

                                                                                                    mused

spit out his toothpaste rinsed his toothbrush mouth the sink

                                                               whole time watching it flit before the glass

Maybe

   Maybe what

Maybe its realised its reflection maybe it thinks on the other side of the glass is a gnat twin  exactlyperfectly like it

Wouldnt know mirror

 

    it stopped fluttering

wasnt in his face

Why not walkaway

                     Turnoff the light nightlight takes over bedrooms at the back of the house

Really think its gonna track you down

Yaint that sweet

No Im not

Then walkaway Leave it to whaever life it still has

Gnats live a week  A week

   A week

Its left him to his

Sunday evening,  27  4. 08

1603,  Sunday,  28  7. 24

I only heard of it threefour years ago

                                        A gal I know was dating a guy who admitted upfront they met on a dating site first date tha he was on the spectrum

Wha the fucks tha I asked   You know. The spectrum.   I don know   Autism.   Heard of it couldnt define it   Autism spectrum disorder.   Tells me nothing   A developmental disorder involving impairments in social interactions, communications, challenges with sensory processing, repetitive behaviors.   Tics   You could say that.

Arent we all on the spectrum

You could say that.

Tics  Believe Ill say tha

                          If I think otherwise I think of colour scales grades gradients blackestwhite whitestblack Ill think visible light spectrum electromagnetic spectrum

How autistic of me huh

she laughed

                But now of course that’s changed. Neurodiversity. Neurodivergent.  she chuckled

                                                                                                        Now ADHD . .

. . I don know whatha means

Please.

Pleasewha  Im not yanking your chain

ADHA is attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. You’ve heard of that.

Tha Yah

          They drug the shit out of kids for it It aint really better living through chemistry  Far cry

A really far cry

Its the times

EVERYONE

               Stop an smell the fuckin roses

Who has time for that?

Make time

            Don chew a tablet swallow a pill pack a suppository Although on second thought third option aint shabby

I’m not your straight man.

No youre not  I interrupted you attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder

ADHA . .

. . Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder  I despise acronyms  Tic  Forward   Were on the same page

In addition there’s autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia . .

. . Ive no idea whatha is

You live under a rock?

If I did I coudnt smell the roses

Childhood development disorder . .

. . Where everyone begins

   Yes.   It’s clumsiness in otherwise healthy kids.

Clods

Clods?

Oaf lug hulk   palooka Clods

                                 Thaswha we called them Didnt drug them when I was a kid

Shall I remind you, times change.

Often not for better

                     So wha youve described fall within the spectrumsheesh of neurodiversity  are neurodiverse neurodivergent conditions situations

Yes.  These, if you would, neuro-differences, are recognised as a social category similar to differences in ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, ability.

You don know this

                     McDonalds

They first opened you could have a hamburger a cheeseburger fries a soft drink a chocolate shake a vanilla shake

Menu

Done

The world’s more complicated than that now.

Or

      Was it made complicated to sell product

0841,  day-between-2-Ts,  24  7. 24

1234,  Sunday,  28  7. 24

https://exceptionalindividuals.com/neurodiversity/#:~:text=ADHD%2C%20Autism%2C%20Dyspraxia%2C%20and,orientation%2C%20gender%2C%20or%20ability.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/autism-spectrum-disorder

I feel shit in my bones  Im boned tight

What the hell are you talking about?

Id say intuition but aint something I have

                                             Jewish buddy of mine Abe describes his feelings  kishkes  in his gutswhich is profound to me  Only gut feeling I ever get is when its time to take a shit

That paints an ugly picture.

Wha can I say tossed his handsup to either side of his head  Im a reality star

that brought a big hoho out of his buddy

Good belly laugh

Yeah, you have that effect on me. Reason why I hangout with you despite your occasional crudeness.

Only occasionally

Leave it be, that’s what I tell myself alright?

Awright  Awright

                   You look beautiful this afternoon  Thanks for meeting me for coffee

Thanks for being available. You realise how often you turn me down.

   Do I

You do.  I don’t take offense, not knowing you as I do, but it’s how often you don’t come out because it’s something you’re involved in, and involved, not with anyone else.

                                                          You being with you.

he nodded casually I like my company Im good company

You are, yes you are.  I’m grateful you asked me out.

I owe you many

You do.

         Would you like to tell me how beautiful I look again?

Stunningly beautiful naturally beautiful Wash your face brush your hair come out no adulterations

You’re a weird bird, man.

I like things straight

So you’ll have black coffee.

Youll have fancy

Need to cut the coffee with something or it’ll upset my stomach.

                                                                   Follow me circling back, kishkes? I’m gonna have to remember that.

A good one to keep

                      Another

waitress came to the table they ordered

                                            she ordered an obscene pastry   You’ll try a bite, won’t you?   A bite no more  he ordered dry rye slightly toasted warmed through   It’ll cool no sooner than she brings it to the table.   All things cool   You’re not alluding to us?me?   Im not  The toast

Another to keep

Also from your Jewish friend, Abe?

His mother

Learn something new every day, who says that?

Coined it Emerson

                     Knowledge is when you learn something new every day. Wisdom is when you let something go every day.

No.

     I meant you.

I do

You do, except not in those words.

                                    Case in point.  I didn’t know it was Emerson.

Something else not to forget

                               Abes mother

Ah. Abe. Yes.

She informed me Verklempt Overcome hard to speak choked with emotion Shed put her hand to her throat  As a matter of fact when Abe introduced me as a friend she did that She was not happy with me

But you grow on people.

Thaswha Abe said

Elle laughed

Another

Verklempt, verklempt, verklempt.

                                     Think I got it now, sure.

A personal favourite

Tracy the waitress returned served them their coffee the obscene pastry and said shed be right back with the toast  I want it to be warm, be back.  off she went

She’s certainly taking good care of you. You think if you ordered your notorious barelyfried sunnysideup eggs shed jiggle while she walked

both hohoed deeply  inside joke

There you go. set the rye before him

he set his hand atop the slices warmed slightlytoasted

                                                           Crushed it kiddo

Oh thank you!  Need anything else? Jam? Marmalade?

Marmalade

             I wasnt thinking

Uhoh, the walls are crumblin’, crumblin’ down.

Quiet you

           Tracy brilliant  Yes please

Right back.

Youve realised you like watching her walkaway.

Obvious

No. I like watching her walkaway. She has an awfully nice rump.

She does nodding She really does

We perverts gotta stick together.

Yes

     An making an excellent play for us to meet more frequently  Subtle 

You read me like a book.

Youre a sharp cookie

Tracy returned with marmalade selection of Bonne Maman in small jars

                                                                             Anything else I can get you?

Elle said  I think we’re good. You’re spoiling him, Tracy.

quick confident smile I wouldn’t be doin’ my job if I didn’t. I’ll leave you to it. Please enjoy.

they watched her walkaway

Ohyes, definitely.

Thas my line

No.

     Your line is your personal favourite. she sippedshe delighted in her coffee

he sipped his Ethiopian Sidamo

                                  This one is sensational  Trepverter

Trepverter.

Yes

Also Jewish.

Yah

     Literally means  stepwords  a witty comeback you think of only after its too late

Been there done tha

Freakin unpleasant

But a small victory it came to you.

Very small

he made a face

Elle hohoed

1548,  Reggaefriday,  26  7. 24

1103,  Sunday,  28  7. 24

John Mellencamp  Crumblin’ Down  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G68ziTDKGn8 

bomber hadnt been in the studio since he lost his shit Tuesdayfrightened by the sounds of the neighbours machinery outside the window not ten feet away on the other side of the fence while he was steeping in a hypnagogic aside

was terrified

in terror

tore him up

            bit him through his thumbclawed his armsstompedpunctured the inside of his thighraked his belly

all in all what maelstrom painted in blood wrecked flesh would look like  took him hours to quiet the bleeding clean the wounds

wasnt bombers fault

cautiously he came in skittish

                                  nothing does cautiouslyskittish better than cats

he could see the muscular physic working under his orange fur

bomber knew where EXIT was an could hightail it tout de suite if necessary

                                                                                 ADIOS HIJO DE PUTA

he wasnt a cat whisperer

                             but he could herd them

   a bonus aside from bombers redux was him taking what is his napping spot his place at the window atop a Mexican blanket atop a twoshelf bookcase where history physics biology psychology philosophy books were kept

texts that usually lulled emanated sleep in others

bomber parked it

inside fifteen minutes he began plucking the screen with his paw

rarely did that

               his sister shy was the villainplaying harpWOUDYA CUT THA OUT shed bolt

he went to the window looked out

                                     Bomber  Is dinosaur back

   AAH HA well shit   dinosaur

                                   it was nearly ten inches long doubleup a childs Ticonderoga myfirst pencil and eraser

an enormous reptile old reptile

                                 its burrow lair was in the earth at the bottom of the fence

hed seen it four times over the past year

DAMMIT was he grateful bomber returned

                                              if not

he wouldnt have seen Gojiro

1259,  Saturday,  27  7. 24

Rodrigo Rodriguez  Heading Towards You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMZUBhANOOQ

Gojiro  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVsI48kMB4k

she was chewing on somethingsomething in her mouth as she left a message on the machine she bought him recorded for him We’re unavailable right now. Please leave the time, day, date you called and we will get back to you when we can. and installed it as she passed through on her way home while he was at work

odds on  hed bet blueberries

Hey! It’s your knocked-up daughter.

yah

      thatd be his grrl  gleefully espousing his vernacular

rolled out I dig it! Groovy.

                                 Knocked-up.

a message he saved

2009

he doesnt listen to it often

he listens to hear her voice

                            remember her voice when he struggles to hear it

shes dead

afterwards he took a lukewarm bath

day was hotnearly a hunred

wanted to bathewash away the dried sweat before bed

dripped lavender into the running water

laid back

            the message played in his head

memorised

clearing his throat he spoke

                                Yes Yes   Yes

I know what I need

I need to be like others

Amnesiacs

Orso they seem

Yes

Amnesiac

he wept

if wishes were horses beggars would ride his memory obscene

trying to forget only etched them deeper

cut in stone

his parents would ask incredulously  How is it you remember that? You weren’t two.

No fucking idea  None

2354,  Thursday,  25  7. 24

1254,  Saturday,  27  7. 24

Did yasay sugarwood

I did.

You said it like I should knowwhich isnt to say it isnt teaming with possibilities   A nickname

Yes.

Not one for you

                Obviously

Fuckyou. You don’t think it could be?

   No   Sorry dude not at allnot ever not even on your best day out the gate No

he failed at a hurt expression What kinda wingma . .

. . Im not Thas crap

                      Ya either got wha it takes or take whaya got an go home hopefully not draggin your dick in the dirt asya go

Why sugarwood

You’re kiddin me. You told me you watched Ozark.

Tha youre watching now for the first time

I think that’s beside the point.

Beside an undeclared point oughta take tha haughty look off your face

                                                                            Whas your point

Mister I Don’t Forget Anything.

No  Mister Got A Long Memory

                                 Yet again slippedup confused by whaya think you remember Which as I belabour your memory remembering is for shit

So take it by the hand lead it away for our friendships sake

Sugarwood is a nickname of the fellow that Wendy had an affair with. You remember Wendy, Marty.

And

Uhmm, Jonah.

Charlotte Ruth

Yeah.

Wyatt Darlene Jacob

Yeah.

Russ   Agent Petty

Yeah what’s your point?

I don remember Sugarwood Shame on me

                                               Thasaid Wood doesnt entice me as it seems you  Anasmuch repulses you

You really got a nerv . .

. . Call em as I see em

                        Gawdbless sexuality in all its shapes forms possibilities

1355,  Reggaefriday,  26  7. 24

1011,  Saturday,  27  7. 24

Jesus somewhere off in the distance an ass brays

   a box

man has his head up his ass

ask a child

             Where do genies come from?

likely theyd answer a bottle or a lantern

A box?

theyd look at him as if he was nuts

on the Spanish-language outlet Univision (9November 2023 – he just heard it – was dumbfounded which means dumb finally found him  on occasion that happens) former said

“What they’ve done is they’ve released the genie out of the box.”

                                                                         maybe

former thinks that Jack  a Jack-in-the-box  is a genie

a great sense of humor

                             HAS ANYONE SEEN HIM LAUGH OR EXHIBIT JOY

got scowl glare down pat

1559,  Reggaefriday,  26  7. 24

1216,  Saturday,  27  7. 24

to save time, the 4:30 minute-mark  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7brFna6RWM