fuckin proofsfuckin  Geometry

                                the D he got in high school was because he worked hard to earn it  his teacher said hed never “not never ever ever” witnessed a kid work so hard and fail  “I can’t, not in good conscience, fail you.”

worked like a motherfucker for that D

Geometry never clicked

too reasonable

too rational

he was abstract

The Thomatic Argument . .

. . Thomatic

              Thomas Aquinas

Yes. Look at you.

                  You’re not religious how did you know?

Because Im wellread anevery time you go south visit your Jesusfreak sisters something rubs off on you anya try to rub it off on meAND

               The word argument in your mouth sounds like ProofsAND

                                                                            I despiseya know I do  Geometry

Its tha little bug thas crawled up your ass thaya think is fuckin hilarious to badger me with

You ought to see your face.

My thoroughly uninterestednotdisinterested face

                                                   Its got to be ghastly  Matches my desire to vomit on your shirtfront an shoes

Count your blessings appropriately dude

   Whatever.

               You know what the argument is?

Is this the argument tha answers my question

Maybe.

          What did you ask?

FUCK

       Were too busy thinkin of a comeback a reply rather than listen to me

I heard you.

Hearing an listening are two different things

                                               A sticky duopoly if ever was

Yahear a lot

              Ya don listen much

Enough lecture. No. I didn’t listen to you.

You ought to see tha look on your face

                                          Suffice it to say yalook like a retard  A yahoo

I wish you wouldn’t use that word.

If wishes were horses beggars woud ride

                                            I asked who said Mans ultimate desire is to be Gawd  Figured since ya just got back from a weekend with the Freaks

Cute.

Not

The Thomatic Argument attempts to reason from the existence of dependent beings to the existence of God.

Thas a mouthful Though Im premature

                                           Excuse my interruption

he shook his head asif long hair got in his eyes

when he visited he got his hair cut

                                     also

had a selection of baseball caps to choose from so there was never a chance hair would ever get in his eyes

unlike his hair

                Sally forth  SallyAnnUgly

What?

Im amusing myself before you bore me to death with a religious proof

But you want to hear.

No  Ill listen

             Letya get it off your chest  I imagine it metastasized in your head the entire five hours north

I did it in four.

Never a cop around whenya need one

A speeding ticket.

Yah In your Vette ya think youre Mario Andretti

It’s a high performance car.

It is

      Makes up for what you lack

Fuck yo . .

. . Not before ya finish your sisters proof

                                           Please SallyAnnUgly

he grumbled something couldnt hear cleared his throat

                                                          I think you can hang with me. There’s only five premises.

Premise away

One.

      There are dependent things.

Two.

      If something is a dependent being . .

. . Im not

he stared him down

                        A dependent being, then its continued existence must be sustained by something else . .

. . Sustained   Like you

if looks could kill

                   Number three.

If a dependent being is sustained by something else, then either the chain of sustaine . .

. . Chain

          Unfortunate

arent you dead

                 You gonna keep interrupting?

Ought to vehemently suggest Im still listening

                                                    SallyAnnUgly

The chain of sustained beings . .

. . Thank Gawd they graduated from dependent things

You’re not going to stop are you?

Were nearly through three theres only five

                                            Almost there  I gotta humour myself to get through Thomas

   

   The chain of sustained beings regresses infinitely or terminates in an independent being that is not itself sustained.

Nothing?

The chain of sustained beings cannot regress infinitely.

Therefore, number five . .

. . Whereof thereof Wittgenstein

                                  Ill take his advise  I cant say

No  Im not dead 

                 Save your fuckin looks for someone who can be intimidated

Therefore . . . the chain of sustained beings must terminate in an independent being that is not itself sustained.

Yah   Don knowdon care whatha means

Glad you got it out

                   Imagine if youd been on the road five hours

Yamight have a halo

Thanks for the lesson

                        Annnnn  Im lettin it go

You’re not going towe’re not going to entertain it?

   Wha

         Uninterested

Its adios

Didnt get an answer to my query  SallyAnnUgly

                                                      Tha Ill remember

AMish,  Tuesday,  10  8. 02

1401,  Satyrday,  15  6. 24

https://apologetics315.com/2018/07/the-thomistic-cosmological-argument/

Stones  Paint It Black  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBUFtoC2oj4

Whens the baby due

                       he curbed his tonguedidnt actually cry across the grassy mediumstrip

not to say he wasnt tempted

she wasnt doing herself any favours

                                      had to be aware

her entire body would not fit insidereflect in a tall hallway dressing mirror unless she took several steps back an better look where shes going if she tripped an went down in a heap All the Kings horses an all the Kings men wouldnt be able to right her again

she was rotund

                 rolledaton

dressed in black stretch pants and an enormous stretched at-the-seams black tshirt

black did her no favours

                          if she were the DOT at the bottom of an exclamation pointexclamation mark the vertical line above her would tower two storeys at minimum

                                                   she was that large

not the largest hed seen in his life

Bobby was bigger

                   a friend

had to lean sideways in a movie theatre seat  they only went to a couple of films

if they dined theyd take a booth Bobby needed a side to himself

when they left work a movie a dinner hed walk with him to where he parked  usually two blocks off or within

Bobbyd insist he didnt have to

No I don

          several times before arriving at his car hed either seat himself on a bench Bobby was strategic where he parked or hed stop and lean against a traffic sign parking sign telephoneelectric pole

You can go, Joe.

When we get to your car I will

Thank you.

Thank you Bobby

                   anevery time it wasnt until Bobby drove away that he kicked himself real hard in the ass  he was part of Bobbys labour engaged him in conversation man didnt have the wind to walk and talk despite entertainingparticipating in their conversation

Bobby died

his wish was to be cremated his ashes scattered into the Pacific from a small aircraft

                                                                                          for his girth he couldnt fly

though he desperately wished he could  see the world under him asifhe were a bird

at one point during his hospitalisation it was thought he might be medevaced by helicopter to Stanford

he went to see him the night it was determined triage No he wasnt flying

Bobby didnt want to talk to him

through the ICU glass Bobby signaled him  thumbs  down

that was the last he saw him alive

he was among scores of people who stood on a cliff overlooking the Pacific as the Cessna approachedoverflew them reversed to the sea banked left sharply circled low and committedscattered his ashes to the sea

people murmuredbegan to walk off

                                    DONT GO ANYWHERE he hollered  COMON  THAT WASNT ALL OF BOBBY

the plane circled back

completed scattering Bobby

lady in black was near Bobbys size

 

1500ish,  Reggaefriday,  14  6. 24

1022,  Satyrday,  15  6. 24

Beatles  Baby’s in Black  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJFpUb7JGYo

uncoaxable  it appealed to him

                                 knew what he meant

why she didnt follow he couldnt figure

That’s not a word.

Not in the dictionary but you know wha I mean

                                                 An no matter coined itgot my stamp of approval

I looked.

Looked

On my phone Googled it and it said Yes, it’s a real word. Quora, November 28, 2019 . .

. . Which I do not look at

I do. Followed up by Is uncoachable a word?

Uncoaxable

Beneath was Definitionsdotnet. Did you actually mean unchewable or unshakable?

Woudya stop

Beneath that, OneLook. Definitions of uncoaxable . .

. . Okay I didnt coin it

Don’t interrupt.

                    Adjective. Not coaxable. Opposite: persuadable, amenable, compliant, receptive. Found in concept groups: Impossibility or incapability.

Concept groups  Christ

                          Lemme run with unpersuadable unamenable uncompliant unreceptive U N- I N- D I S-  Insimilar  Dissimilar preferred but insimilar still paints a picture

   Paints a picture.  What’s your point?

You slammed the door at the getgo

                                     Face went slack asif it was unfathomable for you to understand uncoaxable

It’s not a word I recognised or would likely use in my vernacular.

Yet if I were speaking French every word I uttered you woudnt recognise use or be in your vernacular but  are   words

    You’re speaking English.

Anya know the word coax Gentle persistent persuasion

                                                           From obsolete cokes  simpleton unknown origin  Original sense was fondleNow  if yawanna to fondle me Ill consider dropping uncoaxable

Jesus.

Hed be on my side entirely reasonable man had a cock

                                                          Knowing coax you coud easily have cajoled uncoax rather than bitch

What did you say?

Rather than bitch

A bitch bitches.

She do

        Softball delivery Less incendiary

You know I prefer incendiary so if I wasnt youd understand  I cut you some slack

Because I know youre smarter than tha

AM,  Tuesday,  10  8. 02

1651,  Reggaefriday,  14  6. 24

https://www.onelook.com/?loc=dmapirel&w=uncoaxable

Simon and Garfunkel  I Am a Rock  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGRQ3ytd0K8

it bemused him

                  Yasee a theme

   I do.

But youd rather not

his coffee cup shifted uncomfortably in his hands a drool slipped over its lip

                                                                                No.

Why

Why talk about death? Eventually, yes, I get it.

                                                  But why discuss it?

You talk about basketball baseball knowing Im uninterested not disinterested uninterested

                                                                                                 Why

Inevitable

           Then The End the story of us Yet hopefully theyll be passed down related  an in their tellings were alive

We live

I had a friend Al his name was actually Ali but he preferred Al because living in the US Ali stuck out like a sore thumb He was Armenian

One evening we were playing cardsUNO with family an Al begins with these stories of his crazy uncle one after the other hilarious I told him Id love to meet his uncle Al said that was in Armenia Als father visited the US on occasion his uncle his fathers brother No  No Al said

He said his crazy uncle died sometime in Nineteenth Century

We he continued our lives are told and retold in stories passed down Were not dead until our story is no longer told

Our history is an oral history

No photos of his uncle obviously No painting  Yet he described himhis features his gait the sound of his voice  I was dumbfounded Truly  I could see the man Revivified   Vigorous

I thinkno I believe good reason to talk aboutdiscuss death

I’d rather not.

AM,  Tuesday,  10  8. 02

1139,  Reggaefriday,  14  6. 24

Doors  Break On Through (To the Other Side)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFeUko-lQHg

evidently the graphic depiction of Tommy’s murder a Downs Syndrome man in Ken Bruens book Headstone has been following him around somuchso that Death is in his sleephis dreams their head beside his

whispers in his ear

                      What’s with that?

I was recalling a childs prayer

You prayed it when you were little kneeling on the hardwood floor you had remove the throw rug.

Yes

And after you prayed and returned the rug you’d call your parents.

Yes

Tell them you’d prayed and were ready to go to sleep.

Yes

Thinking perhaps . . . no . thinking you may die in your sleep.

Yes

Because you knew what death was, who I am, because your parents decided you needed to know, to know that every human beings dies.

Yes

The wakes and funerals you attended when your aunts and uncles wouldn't bring their children.

Yes

 

The prayer.  How does it go do you remember? You haven’t recited it since you were little.

   Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the lord my soul to keep if I die before I wake I pray the lord my soul to take

Yes.

       Do you think if you die in your sleep I don’t startle youwake you . frighten you as if waking from a terrifying nightmare?

Nightmares are dreams an dreams do not wake me  I play with an in my dreams

                                                                                      Lots of luck waking me

Yes.  I am aware.

For the lord I do not believe

Yes.

For my soul I havent one

Yes.

Ill be seeing you

Yes.

      You will see me, eventually.

Yes

AMish,  Reggaefriday,  14  6. 24

Thas choice

               coudnt brook if had he tried

someone else might be embarrassed

never occurred to him

withholding the truth

coudbe cancerous

                    certainly stressful

he coudnt brook that either

Excuse me?

Lawd knows you try

That’s what I said.

Yah

       Redundant

You being coy or cryptic?

Wha woudya like

                      Playfully pretending  Obscure    Enigmatic

Hint

          Yare not a chick

Although given the context  be it negligibleslight  yaoughta be able to follow

When you’re being cryptic you’re extremely hard to follow. It’s almost as if I have to try and read your mind.

Undecipherable

                  An evenif ya coud as the government says May be hazardous to your health  Ive hazarded it all my life an am calloused

Don even try

   There.  I don’t even know what that means.

You do

I don’t.

You do

I said I don’t.

Lawd

Yes.

You said Lawd knows I try

Yes.

Ya believe in the Lawdbelieve in Gawd Amighty

You know I don’t.

I do

     Hence you understand mybe there any doubt  my obscure reference

Whas your relationship with Gawd

I haven’t one . .

. . You do

           Scratch the surface man

The surface?

               No surface.

I dislike with extreme prejudi . .

. . Hate.

shrugged his shouldersrolled his headround loosened his neck which instantly seizedup quivered  rattlesnakes tailshake

                disliked with extreme prejudice people trying to put words in his mouth

I dislike having to explain the obvious Explaining a joke is ruinous

                                                                      Please    Scratch

My relationship with God.

                              Even though I don’t have one.

Eventhough

he twisted in the wind

                         ugly to witness

Hint

Would you?

I woud

           Your sisters

Fuck.

Not your sisters

                 Not that I woud find anything wrong with tha my sisters are better looking in better shape anif they were agreeable consented  off to the races

You’re sick.

No cuts End of the line

                            Your  Fuck

I’m their plus One.

Yah  Just a wedding

                        Your relationship with Gawd to get into Heaven    A question

Question?

             What’s that?

Does tha mean when one of them goes ya gotta go or if you go its a coin toss

Probably the fine print

                          Better make sure ya got tha sorted out

1114,  Thursday,  13  6. 24

Johnny Cash  Life’s Railway to Heaven  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKoIuz71hbg

 

former calls America a Third World country

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN5A-mjz8p0

when discussing immigration from African – Third World – countries came up former complained “Why are we having these people from shithole countries come here?

https://theintercept.com/2018/06/28/trump-tps-shithole-countries-lawsuit/

by deduction

               America is a shithole country

and the former is running for president to stay out of prison

   an amoral unethical felon cunt

1522,  Thursday,  13  6. 24

PBS  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIug8Ghe9L8

Claire

                  how to describe

fair

plain

nondescript

              leaning towards cipher

she called him by name as he walked reading

lookingup out of the book he did not recognise her

odd he ran into pedestrians

rarelyever on hot days

                         traffic spedby windows up music muted  airconditioning Henry Miller described them long agocant improve upon perfection

Yes

I’m Claire, we met months ago.

I don remember

We were walking as now . . you were reading then too.

Thank you for remembering me

What are you reading?

he turned the cover to her let her read

                                          Physics.

Yes I like to read it evenif I don understand it Figure one day it will dawn on me until then Ill keep plugging away at it

he pointed to her earplugs hopeful Audiobook

Yes. Something I’m sure wouldn’t interest you.

since she was sure he didnt ask

they exchanged pleasantries several more minutes and before he said she said

                                                                                   I really must be going.

very Aliceish or White Rabbitish

Myself as well

                 Thank you for recognisingstopping me

I couldn’t help myself, your walking and reading is very quaint.

                                                                   not a pause

she had determined it was  wondered if she rehearsed it

he did not remark

Be well

You too.

they continued in opposite directions

She called you quaint

he smiled  shehes heshes loved to lurk an appropriate his time

                                                                     No

She did

No

    She said my walking an reading was quaint

she could have said unusual

a curious choice of word

not in his vernacular

   quaint

1400,  day-between-2-Ts,  12  6. 24

1018,  Thursday,  13  6. 24

Everything we see hides another thing. So fucking appropriate

                                                                         Surrealist painter Rene Magritte

the physicist Laura Mersini-Houghton in her book Before the Big Bang employed this statement as a guide to help understand the concept of string theory M-theorys eleven dimensions

Space-Time has four  width length height and time

the difference the seven hidden dimensions are behind them

the last time he contended with something in kindYes

                                                         In  Kind

happened in college

in a fight on a Fort Lauderdale ocean sand strip across the road from a bar where they drank

got their asses handed to them

                                 had thought it was going to be a fair fight

one buddy asked Who are they?

another Where did they come from?

the third Fuuck. We’re going to get our asses kicked.

   words

he launched himself into the fray

it was right thing to do

Police broke it up

one of the few times he liked Police

despite the lumps gooseeggs and bruises

he couldnt say he didnt have fun

1550,  day-between-2-Ts,  12  6. 24

2320,  day-between-2-Ts

   asked casually    Sowhere yawanna die

it landed like a slap across his face Are you serious? breath fast

Wha  You know me to ask unserious questions toss softballs

                                                                        In bed

Yeah. Yeah.  I think in bed is the perfect place.

   Really

          Im curious  Do tell

What’s to tell? In my bed.

Coudbe in a hospitalcoud have been in it for months sucking recirculated air head strapped in an EHMR elastomeric half mask respiratorlook at me  used an acronym despite my disgust you woudnt have known

I wouldn’t?

No

I said my bed.

Hospital bed coudbe your bed

Bed in my home.

Why exasperated I was clarifying your answer

                                                  Reread your will recently  Youre pretty sloppy inexact regarding your intentions

You a fuckin esquire?

Rhetorical

              So you aspire to expire in your bed

Cute.

        And you don’t?you usually say before we’ve gotten in this deep.

   Usually

              I wasnt prepared for your upset  Kneejerkish

Oh, so like your question wasn’t upsetting?

Were gonna die I didnt think Id upset you

                                               Also

he nodded  Also.  Also what?

I assume in your sleep in your bed

I think dying in bed assumes one’s asleep.

   I don think so

We’ll disagree.

                So if not in your bed if not in your sleep . . . where do you want to die?

Not so much where

                        I want to see it coming

Entered unknowing

I want to see it coming

1204,  Sunday,  9  6. 24

1300,  day-between-2-Ts,  12  6. 24

always ask the question ask it again and again until it is firmly answered

                                                                               because

often the question that begs to be answered is left begging

reading Stephen Pfohl Parasite Café

                                       Clarity is always ideological and reality adaptive . . . demand for clear communication often proves to be nothing else but an intolerance for any language other than the one approved by the dominant ideology. At times obscured and at other times blatant, this inability and unwillingness to deal with the unfamiliar, or what a language different from one’s own, is, in fact, a trait that intimately belongs to the man of coercive power.

New World Order

staked on exploitive efforts to underdevelop the minds and bodily functions of those made to oppose as the Other

Under the Sign of Saturn Susan Sontag   Fascist Aesthetics

                                                                  . . . characteristic pageantry: the massing of groups of people; the turning of people into things; the replication of things; and grouping of people/things around an all-powerful . . . force.

Walter Benjamin 1936

                         theorized that a conjunction of telecommmunicative technologies and fascist dread was in the process of constructing a New World Order of Capitalist power.

New World Order . . . typified by dense and high speed aestheticization of (almost) everything, everywhere in No Time At All.

the attempts of Reality TV are to make viewers believe the reel world is the real world

                                                                                           an imagery is produced by producers

people are urged to swallow the scripted productions Produce  as if Real

he felt at best they were probably  possible he didnt participate  but Not Real

                                                                                 wouldnt buy-in on the War on Reality

Real is subjective

one defines their Reality after their definition

                                               however

if they coerce another

                      their Reality is not redefined but rather repressed   falsified

visual on-site productions cannot be legitimate for they are blindedwear blinkers they lack peripheral or periferal   they do not turn side-to-side look over their shoulders  they present a staged drama unfolding only BEFORE it

an objective perception point-of-view witness witlessly functioning 

the while encouraging viewers to make up their minds without benefit of the rest of the Whole

 

    drove him nuts

2ish,  Tuesday,  6  4. 04

Wednesday,  7  4. 04

0959,  day-between-2-Ts,  12  6. 24

The Who  The Real Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6y1c3xllo8c