cant get this out now

                       aint ever seein the light of day   no way no how

three small boys were on a dead run towards him as he approached the bridge that crossed the river dividing the town

they ran up on him breathless

he heard their approach took the book down from his face as he walked

                                                                               You mutts the winners

they couldnt saycouldnt sputter the river was wide

                                                        they nodded   they thought they were

in the distance the woman who accompanied themdeep behind a gaggle of another eight yelled her apologises

                                                                                                SORRY SORRY SO SORRY.

he shook his head UNNECERSSARY THAS UNNECESSARY 

as they closed

                They were no problem as you saw I assumed they were having a foot race

the three shook their heads no

No

one still breathlessstill shaking his head no said No. It wasn’t a race.

he sidestepped the other kids as they walked up on him

                                                             wished them Merry Christmas

in turn they acknowledged himwishing him likewise

finally their chargechaperon walked up to him

                                                  I’m sorry, the boys were rud . .

. . They were not Seemed they were having unmitigated fun

                                                                  If not now  When

she smilednoddedlaughed Yes.

                                     We’re on a scavenger hunt.

Oh joy I didnt think tha remained a thingthas good to hear

Yes. Thank you yes.

                      We have but one item remaining on our list. The boys thought you might be him.

Youre collecting men off the street

she yelped NO. Oh goodness no.

                                     Our last task is to find a man who looks like Santa.

They thought I looked like Santa

They did they did.

                     I am sorry to say you are not, you do not qualify, even if your beard were longer. If it had been I’d still have to disqualify you.

Disqualify me Youre makin me feel bad

                                             he laughed  he almost hohohoed

I’m sorry. Even if your beard were longer you’re . . how to say this . . . you haven’t . . haven't the . girth.

he cocked his head like a rooster 

they laughed simultaneously

   he choked out Ive not been accused of tha before

it went over the kids heads

not hers

finally Lotsa luck finding your Santa  Merry Christmas

still blushing Thank you.  Merry Christmas. 

Wrong he thought  matrons shoudnt blush

1353,  Saturday,  23  12. 23

1948,  Sunday,  24  12. 23

MERRY CHRISTMAS  HAPPY HOLIDAYS   BE WHAEVER THEY MAY BE     PEACE

pro football

in America

farcical

           Yah   a Farce

do your jobfunction  do wha youve trained all your lifeconditioned yourself all your life  to do

an achievement to be sure

                             which ought to sufficient    in itself  in itself in itselfinitself finite

an accomplishment

   but somewhere along the line

                                   football players were letgo  informed   saw themselves performers 

herd followed

he didnt

          with every endzone dance the sport diminishedevery performance after a receiver caught a firstdown pass a back ran a firstdown the sport diminished

whenever he sees a PLACEkicker muster a twentysomethingyard field goal point to Heavenboth hands indexfingers

he feels like he might vomitYAH a field goal

                                                asif the Divine intervened

asif Divinity has nothing better to do on any given Sunday Monday   Thursday   Saturday

   God in America?

Military in America

ZEROSUM  in America

1730,  Sunday,  24  12. 23

2208,  Sunday

Korantemaa  Dreams  (FleetwoodMac cover)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKgOHlHCkiI

Warpaint  Elephants  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOFxb0F2F2A

Okay First World   Name me something obscene

Christ. Really coming in hard out of the blue.

Think on your feet

Not an attribute I’m known for.

No

    Which is why I bring it up Im tryin to stretchexercise your mind improve you cuz Gawd knows yaneed improvement

Never too late

face a shade of perplexed You think so little of me . .

. . Ohno not at all

                   Yatend to think so much of yourself Not a You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby advertisement  Ya got so so far to go

Because he sneered you think so much of yoursel . .

. . Know thyself man know thyself

                                      Im steeped in me Hence why influencers social media advertisers shitheads one an all got nothing on me nothing for me

Not because Im right

Because Im right for me

                              Obscene

Focus  I can see youve let loosesomeone has of the string to your helium balloon

What was it?

Jeez

        First World obscene

You usually say.

Usually

          But I thought itd be nice to let you run with the ball without a blocker ahead of ya tryin to clear the way  Open field running baby

I don’t know.

Give it a moment

   I don’t know. Nothing’s occurring to me.

Awright

          A heated three car garage and storage

he could see it in his eyes dilated to pinholes

                                                 Awright  I didnt say for you to top it its not a competition though thas how bro saw it

I really have nothing.

Can you get back to me 

eyes bugged

I know I know  Stole your line

Yeah well . . don’t wait up.

   Never

1629,  Reggaefriday,  8  12. 23

1512,  Sunday,  24  12. 23

he threatened him of course   with a split of firewood  of coarse

                                                                          hes either a recovering arsonist

or has other irons in the fire

If I were you Id drop the wood  upped the iffy situation sarcastically said Looks like white oak he knew barbecuing too

I’ll drop you, motherfucker.

                            going zero to sixty in a heartbeat  a kind of landspeed record in his experience

Youll   drop me

Damnright. 

            Move it along or I’ll brain ya.

   Or youll  try

                 Miss  Ill use it on you   he stood awkwardlywasnt in a throwing position  hed bet

I told you Go.

Nobody likes being told what to do  An Im Mr Nobody

                                                             Whas the bug up your ass man

I’m warning you Go.

the mans wife came out of the house

                                       a hand went to her mouth she looked horrified  she looked she looked fearful to speak

he must have felt herdidnt look Go back into the house, this is none of your concern.

I told you to go.

pointing to an ear Hard of hearing too much loud rocknroll growingup

                                                                        Growingup You know anything about tha

I TOLD YOU TO GO BACK INTO THE HOUSE. GO.

                                                      she turned hesitantly towards the door but like her toe caught caught she tugged tugged and tugged  then gaveup and turned back to face the misfortune unfoldingbrought on by her husbands young dog chasing his outdoor feral bigfoot who hes cared for for better than ten years

Go.

   No. Drop the wood.

You know you don’t tell me what to do . .

. . Yet you can tell me wha to do he interjected to bring the mans attention back in his direction

                                                                                                    not only did he look like hed throw the wood but might also slap her around he seen men like him before the eyes  their twisting in on themselvespresent  them somewhere elsesomewhere before   somewhere  witnessing something ugly

broken inside

Lemme guess Service overseas

Fuck you.

GI  Soldier   Coming to Americas defence

FUCKYOU.

   Ill go

Yeah you will. Go. 

                     Go walk and read your little book.

I will

      An you go back to tending your little fire

he almost threw the wood

the book was sensational Birmingham The Cruel Stars foldingmoving from one extreme spatial coordinate in a galaxy to one in another

                not what he would chose to do as he descended the drive to the street

if he could

hed have foldedup behind the man an taken the white oak out of his hands

he was going to hurt someone

                                  as damaged people do

he learned later that the man like a nephew of his tended toxic burnpits in Afghanistan

GO  America   

1342,  Saturday,  23  12. 23

1335,  Sunday,  24  12. 23

tough

            not to appreciate  Inspired

                                          or

Clever

         or 

Ingenious

walking where he hadnt walked before  so many miles from his home

on Rosario Avenue

                      hed meant to get there before now

favourite actor Rosario Dawson

Rosario

          duh

Eighthunred block

   there was actually an address  800 Rosario

made him chuckled madly

anchored at the curb

crafted from a piece of sheet metal

leaning heavily on bunchedknuckles

haunches taut

five feet tall

   a menacing gorilla

800 symmetricallytastefully  hollowed out of it chest

he was tempted to rap at the door 

tempted

           whoever might open the door

kiss hardpassionately  on the mouth

1300,  Saturday,  23  12. 23

2126,  Saturday

https://worktalk.com/more-tortured-idioms-the-800-pound-gorilla-in-the-room/

Has it occurred to you how often your writing is obscene?

No

   No? asif incredulous

No

By your own admission, three pieces you recently wrote were censured by the platform you post on.

I pay to post

              Their AI has bad taste

Their AI? asif incredulous

You think a human being processes edits the oodles an oodles of posts to their platform

Those censured were sexual in nature.

Sex politics religion baby

Were they sexual?

I don pay attention Im write wha I write

                                            If I had to guess Id say yes although they werent perverse If I wanted I coud go wellwell outside bounds spike good taste  easilybreathlessly earn a legit censor but nothing Ive written by my accord  not some fuckin machines accord  has been obscene

                                                                  Whas a machine know other than wha someone and their innate prejudices has cobbledtogether programmed into it

   And that’s your defense of obscene?

Nothing to defend  Yare talkin through your hat

Why would you say that?

Youve been told

                  You havent read anything Ive written    Have you

   I have been told.

Look at you   Programmed

                              Someones little AI   Thadbe Absolute Idiot    I choose to be polite

       

1646,  Reggaefriday,  22  12. 23

1033,  Saturday,  23  12. 23

Elton John  Dirty Little Girl   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85Dt7jERph4

USA USA USA

uptick

          horseshitthas not an uptick

early this morning just before going to bed a chyron running beneath an on-line article he was reading related there has been an uptick in Trumpvirus deaths

this morning his chores finished cup of hot black coffee before him hair yet unbrushed  he wanted to see what the uptick looked like

uptick

        over the last sixteen days – Dec7 – 349 Americans have died on average every day 1,189,932 deaths or as he preferred because ciphers numbers are too easily seen

thoughtlessly digested

                         as he prefers

onemilliononehundredeightyninethousandninehunredthirtytwo DEATHS  courtesy of the former president

this is not an uptick

this is horror

              threehunredfortynine aveRAGE deaths a day  also the sorrow  broken hearts of family members  friends

Dec7 seventyfive on aveRAGE

Nov24 onehunredfour

Nov7 onehunredeleven

Oct8 onehunredthirtythree

Sep11 eightyfive

Aug 28 onehunredthirteen

everyday  Trumpvirus

   

0924,  Saturday,  23  12. 23

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

https://www.politico.com/news/2021/04/23/trump-bleach-one-year-484399  

PS  last time he saw numb-ers this horrible was March25  346 aveRAGEd deaths March10  351

he had this habit

walkingreading along hed glanceup take his bearings something would catch his eye

   an inanimate object

which hed identify as a being an animal

                                             a stone a gopher   a cutpiece of spoiled hose a snake   a big cuffed dried leaf a bird

it was habit

it humoured him

he walked to a venue a ciderhouse that was having live music

                                                                   hed heard of the two performersthought I might enjoy an evening out

the ciderhouse was literally a straight shot from his place quickright  quickleft   right walk just over a mile traffic light halfway  cross the streetTaDum  Im there

he also thought while he listened to the music he might enjoy a pint of cider

                                                                                 then decided he didnt like it enough to pop twelve bucks for a draft

he stood at the backbehind seven rows of wood foldingchairs and listened

                                                                               was terribly happy he came out

had a good time

walking home bit past Ten he kept to the side of the road he was onwould cross furthur down he hadnt walked on it in a while

walking beneath an old oak venerated he glanced a big stick big snake  he chuckledlights out

he quit seeing

   Fuck

             Im blindwha the fuck WHA THE FUCKDont panic Thall get ya nowhere   Big stick Arent you grateful it wasnt a snake    Maybe  Whaif it was a seeingeye snake  Yasshole

                                                                   FETCH

dutifully he did

the ciderhouse was in an industrial park

                                            as the crowd feathered out he was able to approach the singers and thank them for their artistry music   their remarkable lyrics

coming out onto the pavement there was virtually no traffic wouldnt be on this end of town

Weel man  Ifya had to go blind yacoudnt have picked a better time

  If I had to

Yacoud have been driving

he gave himself that

                        he fetched

TAPped  taptapped

listened

           listened  tapped listened

not more than thirtyforty steps he amused himself This is a kids game Blind Mans Bluff  Marco Polo in the pool  he the sole contestant It and seeking himself 

                                     MARCO  POLO 

I can do this

You have no choice

No  I do not

felt like a half mile

                     didnt want to negotiate the traffic light definitely be vehicles there it was a road an Exit off the highway  intersected the street he was on Td into it

                                                         listening listening  he didnt hear traffic Fuckin electric carsfuck me They can go around me

he TAPped across the five lanes to the dirt shoulder hed walkedup on had a good sense where he was if he wasnt walkingreading he had his head on a swivelwas observant

he played drone

                  saw himself from overhead good perspective since he knew the lay of the land

he felt the decline of driveways to the streetfelt the Light traffic which not having to cross it ran parallel with him

at the sole corner of the long stretch to the ciderhouse he took the quickleft   then the quickright then in his neighbourhood knew it like the back of his hand  went left up the hill the drive to his house

one step onto the porch

leaned the stick against the wall

took his housekey out opened the front door

walked in shut the door behind him

for shits an gigglesOLLY OLLY OXEN FREEFREE  FREE

house  What the fuck, man?

he laughedriotously at the mouh on the house

                                                  Weel man I just fuckinbested Winwood Blind Faith Cant Find My Way HomeHA

lights went on

               he could see    Weel wha the fuck

    in the morning he called and made a doctor appointment

2212,  Reggaefriday,  8  12. 23

1206,  Reggaefriday,  22  12. 23

Blind Faith  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jlLBs6YawM

RH

      it was contained within a paleblue circle  limpidblue he thought

the rest of the JUNK email subject Weird 5-second Bedroom Trick Drives Women Wild

OH he adjusted his thinking

                                  limp blue

RH was an acronym for Rock Hard

                                      Jesus

had to wipe tears from his eyesoff his cheeks from laughing so hard RH  Real Hard

the real weird 5-second bedroom trick – not that he looked at the JUNK – was on men

he believed it was conceived and written by women

                                                        turned their vibrators On men

MIGHT GUESS

                  a weird 5-second stretch

OH just OH no acronym  their aching orifice

not jaws chipped teeth

the other real orifice

   which tickled him demonly

                                 he knew far too many funny lesbians who could coo with the best of their sex 

I guess I never met a real man. dude would miss it wasnt a gauntlet tossed down

was akin to him playing a gay man who couldnt be turned switch teams

                                                                               took gals 5-seconds multiplied by a minimal gross 12 X 12 of second-packets before they realised he was lying a Real Gay Guy RGG wouldnt know his way around a woman as he did

RH run by a gaggle of lesbians stuffed to the gills with an outrageous sense of humour

                                                                                                        never did turn his back on his lesbian friends 

1656,  Thursday,  21  12. 23

1023,  Reggaefriday,  22  12. 23

Zappa  Sleep Dirt  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nojSrotOZZM

Hank Williams, Jr.  All My Rowdy Friends  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23Xt3b1oSn0

   a hapless dog  unattended

                                traipsed

through seated crossedlegs standinglegs    unnoticed

Benign?

   he wished he or she would nip someonesplash brighten the confines with lukewarm blood

no one in the room suggested hot  vivid   blood

                                                  Thasright muthafucker  Im walkinere

shehe were unnoticed unacknowledged   a thinspook

      he felt like that  sometimes

a pat on the head a kind nod   would be nice

wouldnt hold his breath

                            wouldnt have satisfied either of them

they were ghost vapour

jet trails

          give em time

theyd dissipate disappear

                                like they werent ever there

he made eyecontact with the dog encouraged them   Nip someone

a thought bounded back

                          Why don’t you?

he looked round and round the room

                                         Not a soul Id waste my time chompin

Took the words out of my mouh.

   Fuck he thought  Im communing with a dog

Fuck. heshe thought   

                             Fetch?

2030,  Reggaefriday,  8  12. 23

2154,  Thursday,  21  12. 23

Beyonce  Pure/Honey  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11wsq8aH2zU 

he was measuring . . .

                              then the telephone rang an old friend they hadnt talked since fall twohour conversation

they hung up

   . . . what had he been measuring

itd been in his mind

hed forgotten

                   What 

this was interrupted-him  this is why he triedwas vigilant  to keep to himself

                                                                                     interruptions

minimised him

he preferred to maximise

                          race up to the edgebomb through it

BOMBs AWAY

                 “a memory (BOMBs) through the ruin of his mind”

he knew something about mind ruins

                                        he liked to kneel amidem siftem through his fingers finger their bones  hold their skulls stare into vacant eye sockets and wonder what coloured eyes might have stared back at him

                                                                                                           eyes

like hardglass marbles

                         cateyes clambroth Indian banded onionskin ribbon mist solidcore lutzes mica slag opague clearie  steelies

                 staring  noncommittal     maybe pleading

See my  memories?

Im tryin

         Believe me Im tryin

   Im tryin

1930,  Reggaefriday,  8  12. 23

2111,  Thursday,  21  12. 23

Anna Tivel  Riverside Hotel  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI3jAeQ9jA4