22.12.23

he had this habit

walkingreading along hed glanceup take his bearings something would catch his eye

   an inanimate object
which hed identify as a being an animal
                                             a stone a gopher   a cutpiece of spoiled hose a snake   a big cuffed dried leaf a bird

it was habit

it humoured him


he walked to a venue a ciderhouse that was having live music
                                                                   hed heard of the two performersthought I might enjoy an evening out

the ciderhouse was literally a straight shot from his place quickright  quickleft   right walk just over a mile traffic light halfway  cross the streetTaDum  Im there

he also thought while he listened to the music he might enjoy a pint of cider
                                                                                 then decided he didnt like it enough to pop twelve bucks for a draft

he stood at the backbehind seven rows of wood foldingchairs and listened
                                                                               was terribly happy he came out
had a good time


walking home bit past Ten he kept to the side of the road he was onwould cross furthur down he hadnt walked on it in a while

walking beneath an old oak venerated he glanced a big stick big snake  he chuckledlights out
he quit seeing

   Fuck
             Im blindwha the fuck WHA THE FUCKDont panic Thall get ya nowhere   Big stick Arent you grateful it wasnt a snake    Maybe  Whaif it was a seeingeye snake  Yasshole
                                                                   FETCH
dutifully he did


the ciderhouse was in an industrial park
                                            as the crowd feathered out he was able to approach the singers and thank them for their artistry music   their remarkable lyrics

coming out onto the pavement there was virtually no traffic wouldnt be on this end of town

Weel man  Ifya had to go blind yacoudnt have picked a better time

  If I had to
Yacoud have been driving

he gave himself that
                        he fetched
TAPped  taptapped
listened
           listened  tapped listened
not more than thirtyforty steps he amused himself This is a kids game Blind Mans Bluff  Marco Polo in the pool  he the sole contestant It and seeking himself 
                                     MARCO  POLO 
I can do this

You have no choice

No  I do not


felt like a half mile
                     didnt want to negotiate the traffic light definitely be vehicles there it was a road an Exit off the highway  intersected the street he was on Td into it
                                                         listening listening  he didnt hear traffic Fuckin electric carsfuck me They can go around me
he TAPped across the five lanes to the dirt shoulder hed walkedup on had a good sense where he was if he wasnt walkingreading he had his head on a swivelwas observant
he played drone
                  saw himself from overhead good perspective since he knew the lay of the land

he felt the decline of driveways to the streetfelt the Light traffic which not having to cross it ran parallel with him

at the sole corner of the long stretch to the ciderhouse he took the quickleft   then the quickright then in his neighbourhood knew it like the back of his hand  went left up the hill the drive to his house

one step onto the porch

leaned the stick against the wall

took his housekey out opened the front door

walked in shut the door behind him

for shits an gigglesOLLY OLLY OXEN FREEFREE  FREE

house  What the fuck, man?

he laughedriotously at the mouh on the house
                                                  Weel man I just fuckinbested Winwood Blind Faith Cant Find My Way HomeHA
lights went on
               he could see    Weel wha the fuck

    in the morning he called and made a doctor appointment

2212,  Reggaefriday,  8  12. 23
1206,  Reggaefriday,  22  12. 23


RH
      it was contained within a paleblue circle  limpidblue he thought
the rest of the JUNK email subject Weird 5-second Bedroom Trick Drives Women Wild

OH he adjusted his thinking
                                  limp blue
RH was an acronym for Rock Hard
                                      Jesus
had to wipe tears from his eyesoff his cheeks from laughing so hard RH  Real Hard

the real weird 5-second bedroom trick – not that he looked at the JUNKwas on men
he believed it was conceived and written by women
                                                        turned their vibrators On men
MIGHT GUESS
                  a weird 5-second stretch
OH just OH no acronym  their aching orifice
not jaws chipped teeth
the other real orifice

   which tickled him demonly
                                 he knew far too many funny lesbians who could coo with the best of their sex 
I guess I never met a real man. dude would miss it wasnt a gauntlet tossed down

was akin to him playing a gay man who couldnt be turned switch teams
                                                                               took gals 5-seconds multiplied by a minimal gross 12 X 12 of second-packets before they realised he was lying a Real Gay Guy RGG wouldnt know his way around a woman as he did

RH run by a gaggle of lesbians stuffed to the gills with an outrageous sense of humour
                                                                                                        never did turn his back on his lesbian friends 

1656,  Thursday,  21  12. 23
1023,  Reggaefriday,  22  12. 23
Hank Williams, Jr.  All My Rowdy Friends  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23Xt3b1oSn0

21.12.23


   a hapless dog  unattended
                                traipsed
through seated crossedlegs standinglegs    unnoticed
Benign?

   he wished he or she would nip someonesplash brighten the confines with lukewarm blood

no one in the room suggested hot  vivid   blood
                                                  Thasright muthafucker  Im walkinere

shehe were unnoticed unacknowledged   a thinspook

      he felt like that  sometimes
a pat on the head a kind nod   would be nice
wouldnt hold his breath
                            wouldnt have satisfied either of them

they were ghost vapour
jet trails
          give em time
theyd dissipate disappear
                                like they werent ever there


he made eyecontact with the dog encouraged them   Nip someone
a thought bounded back
                          Why don’t you?

he looked round and round the room
                                         Not a soul Id waste my time chompin
Took the words out of my mouh.

   Fuck he thought  Im communing with a dog

Fuck. heshe thought   
                             Fetch?
2030,  Reggaefriday,  8  12. 23
2154,  Thursday,  21  12. 23


he was measuring . . .
                              then the telephone rang an old friend they hadnt talked since fall twohour conversation
they hung up


   . . . what had he been measuring
itd been in his mind

hed forgotten
                   What 
this was interrupted-him  this is why he triedwas vigilant  to keep to himself
                                                                                     interruptions
minimised him

he preferred to maximise
                          race up to the edgebomb through it
BOMBs AWAY
                 “a memory (BOMBs) through the ruin of his mind”

he knew something about mind ruins
                                        he liked to kneel amidem siftem through his fingers finger their bones  hold their skulls stare into vacant eye sockets and wonder what coloured eyes might have stared back at him
                                                                                                           eyes
like hardglass marbles
                         cateyes clambroth Indian banded onionskin ribbon mist solidcore lutzes mica slag opague clearie  steelies
                 staring  noncommittal     maybe pleading
See my  memories?

Im tryin
         Believe me Im tryin

   Im tryin

1930,  Reggaefriday,  8  12. 23
2111,  Thursday,  21  12. 23
Anna Tivel  Riverside Hotel  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI3jAeQ9jA4

20.12.23


      1623

Fri    8  12. 23

   that was printed in red ink on a diagonal tilting up left to right on the top left corner of the page typewriter paper  the reminder of its face was covered in scribble that hed bet only he could read -- because he wrote it -- an aint a soul who madscribbles like him  sometimes he was unable to read what he wrote hed hold a magnifying glass over it and taking hints from legible script and context  trynsee what he meant

sometimes he ditched short passages
he anguished
              he knew he was tossing away a legit seed that something spectacular or spectacularly offensive would have grown from it

beneath the time day and date he printed on the same angle  ADULT
        
                                                                COLOURING BOOK
they were on the phone

Ohyah I would have forgotten our conversation about that

Stop. You? Your mind's like a steel trap.

Sometimes I need a kick in the head to remind me

That’s understandable, understandable. I don’t think I’d want access to what goes on in your head when you suggested I draw an adult coloring book, because, as you say, I’m the ideer guy . .
. . I am . .
. . You are, you are, and I thought you were full of shit. Then I Googled it and discovered someone beat you to the punch.

They had Yes  Thanks for reminding me
                                             Although   just now had another ideer
Ohbrother.

Hear me out

I’m listening.

Can you trulyI mean truly colour  in an adult colouring book if youre not colouring with circumcised   awwwha the hell for tha matter  uncircumcised crayons   Theyll have to be arched like a cock  

A box of cocks
Jesus.
         I should have seen that coming.

Would make for a nifty Christmas gift
                                         Yashoud have



a quarter way down the page circled  he printed Kayla
                                                            an arrow descended off the circle towards the edge then swept back into the page pointing to
                                Sure as shit I’d

                                forget it again
Kayla

coworker from a liquor store
younger than he
evening lead
              the one on duty standing in the stepup cubicle work surface at her belly able to oversee the bank of four cash registers oversee two aisles all the way to the back of the store the night a gal entered with girlfriends and soon after approached him at Register Four nearest the automatic sliding glass doors 
                                                                                     HI.  It’s my birthday today.
Hello Happy birthday

I’m twentyone. she boasted

Ill have to see I D

shaking her beautiful curly red hair it took on a life of its own But I am twentyone.

Yes But Ill still have to see an I D

her face puzzledwas really thinking about it
                                                     I’m not driving tonight.

Good call she was inebriatedyet slipped her friends

You have to see my I D.

If you buy something Yes baby your I D

   Ah.
           I can show you my titsya wanna to see my tits.

he puts his hands up like it was a holdup

she yankedup her sweaterbounced emswayed em several times before yanking her sweater back down

girl had sensational orbs fantastic aureoles perky nipples was a bit brisk in the airconditioning no sooner had she yanked her sweater down a girlfriend came chargingup the aisle behind her Were you showing him your tit? Were you? Were you? Did she show you her tits, did she? She showed you her tits.

No shame

Tits laughed gayly
                    Oh she’s mad mad because she’s got little titscomere show him your tits.
Dammit.
          she hustled Tits off

Kayla flew out of the cubicle walked angrily up to him
                                                          We just had sexual harassment training . .
. . An I didnt harass herhands were up She didnt harass me
                                                                 Chalk it up to consenting adults An I also saw as she went to lift her sweater you looked away
No harm no foul
                    Kayla
Goddammit



he hadnt seen her in years

turns out she was hired as brewmaster for a local brewery that he passed by on the regular he didnt want to misplace her name among all the other names he knew was like playing Jenga

her last evening at the liquor store

locking the sliding doors

they hugged real hardhed miss her

he walked her up to her truck said goodbye hugged her once again turningwalking away 
                                                                                                  Joe.
he turned around 
Wannasee my tits? yanked her sweater up
                                               Kayla a redhead too
nice tits  tough to compare with birthday girls
                                                 she yelled  CONSENTING ADULTS.
Yah Consenting   Knucklehead
                                     one would think he couldnt forget her name                

2105,  day-between-2-Ts,  20  12. 23


he sanghummed hummedsang the same over and over  incompletely
                                                                           looping in his head
was washing her stationwagon   absent

from far off he heard  . . . song. . what song is that?

he returned Oh hey  Song  Yes

Yes. smiled lazily  What song, Joe?

Jaclyn if you knew Id shit
                             Andy Williams he hinted

she shook her head no Not the singer the song.

Moon River

The words tune you’ve snatched are nice.

Snatched  I like tha

she smiled amused conspiratorial

Did Williams write it

No  He sang it
                 Johnny Mercer Henry Mancini

Other singers who covered it?

No no  Mercer wrote the lyrics Mancini the music

Collaborated. her eyes brightening saying more

Yes  They did replied with his eyes

smiling pleasingly appealingly Like Lennon and McCartney.

Yes conspirators songwriters  Although Beatles music included George an Ringo  George Martin producer arranger an on Geoff Emerick sound engineer  They were the fifth Beatle or fifth an sixth   Together they crushed prior musical concepts
             he winked Authentic

a long fingered hand to her throat  Thank you.

Thank you


they met at her cousins birthday party on a sunny Saturday afternoon

he wasnt invitedwas walking by

had surprise visited a buddy and his family

they surprised himhad plans

he had time to kill

theyd meet at the house at dinner

the sounds the barbecue emanating from the backyard were too enticing

a handmade Happy Birthday, Stacie! banner laced the shrubs beneath a large livingroom window


she approached him

he had a bottle of Guinness in hand

   Say . . .

Say  wha

Say . . I'm not familiar with you.

Im a friend of a friend of Stacies

he dug the smile bemused   tintwicked that swept her face as she narrowed one beautiful green eye  deftly eyelined into an Egyptian cat eye mascara   end of cosmetics
                                                          Some balls.  Friend.
still covert  Joe  he extended his hand

she accepted it  Jaclyn.

Awfully nice to meet you

she nodded
             Who’s the friend of a friend?
Jaclyn

   Ah. nodded  Stacie’s my cousin.

You don say

I do.

Then Id say given family dynamics these days its awesome when cousins consider themselves more consider themselves friends
                      Hasnt been my experience
Although we shouldnt let ones experiences colour everyone elses  Keep an open mind

I have an open mind.
                        Given our openmindedness, would you like to get out of here.

Ive only just arrived

she took the stout from his hand
                                    I need my car washed.



he was washing her stationwagon

When you finish I’d like to take you somewhere.

Five minutes   Inside ten
                            Ill drain roll up the hose put everything back into the garage
I’ll be inside.
              Before you come for me push the front bench back all the way, I’d like you to drive where we’re going.

Where were going  Sounds mysterious

I am.

Happy to oblige


it was more than ten minutes the front seat stubborn but figured it hadnt been recessed in a long time being her car
the seat protested  Aw woudya shaddup
                                               it finally relented

on the rear concrete stepup stoop he rapped on the screen door he liked that it was relaxed slapped against the doorjamb under his knuckles wasnt a tightfit   an older house
RIGHT THERE.

IM RIGHT HERE

entering the kitchen she came into view
                                          Hiya.
Whoa  Hi you

walking towards him she grabbed the car keys off the cabinet counter shed showered toweled her hair wore an emeraldgreen sundress that made her eyes pop it unbuttoned all the way down the front  three buttons at the top were undonefell aside like languidlapels revealing the swell of her breasts  uncontained
                                                                                        You look fresh
Thank you.

he stepped backwards off the stoop drawing the screen door with him

she locked the house door behind her casually flit past him like a bird

You smell great

Thank you.

he followed her across the grass to the car

she confused himopened the drivers door

she saw his confusion
                         Keepin’ you on your toes?

You are

A woman can open a door for a man can’t she?

She can

Have a seat.

he sat
she leaned forward
he gazed at her exposed breasts
                                    Now.
Yes

she kissed him softly
                         This ride . . .
Yes

You’re taking me on . . . 
                           she kissed him again softlyever softer

Yes

she dropped the keys on the grass
                                     We’re taking . . .   nuzzled his throat his ear

Yes

You’re taking me here.
                      lifting her hem  she was naked   Open your pants.

Oh, dream maker, heart breaker, wherever you’re goin’, I’m goin’ your way
                                                                              kissing him warmlygiggling into his mouth she got in

0847,  day-between-2-Ts,  20 12. 23
Andy Williams  Moon River  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyDhkPDXZ0A 

19.12.23


Shit
    caught him offguard  reallyreally surprised him

he knew these couples
                         or rather
thought he did

maybe onetwo  three  of the gals their roads far tougher than a white mans
                                                                                 however
he didnt foresee guys would
he didnt


when he posited the question the gals puzzled satback three guys immediatelyaggressively leaned forward  axes to grind went off over one another
                                despite   despite them knowing whenever he had a question hed say where he stood
he believed that was important

he let them work it out
wasnt prompting
                   just tendered the inquiry

three of six did

two of six women said

they were peeved volatile  reallyreally surprised him
                                                         harbored
deepseated angstanguish

five of a dozen

a legit sampling


   then finally  like a bomb an accusation Whydya ask? What about you?

he paused took his sweet time   looked each in the eyes
                                                               Yacut me off before I coud say
Yeah well. You tapped a nerve.

Ill apologise Im sorry
                       I didnt see that comin

And so?  What?

No I didnt don   hate anyone

coed five got twitchy

Though I will admit
                     Ill admit tha Ive disliked with extreme prejudice  certain people
But not hate
Hate
      Evil  I let neither rankle my vocabulary

Reggaefriday afternoon after 1415approximately,  15  12. 23
2149,  2sday,  19  12. 23
Alanis Morissette  You Oughta Know  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RitmSQcmUuI

IMY2  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gat8d1ozuZ8


Excuse my Ideation   hes always makin a mess  amass messes
                                                                       See
See how it works

See Dick
I was takin a leak.
                     was arrested for indecency exposure I swear I was takin a leak.   he knew a guy   was the guy lying   who tells the truth any more even when it has nothing to do with or shares the gravity of . . .   Christ it was a misdemeanor. Small town judge. Treated me like a felon was all over me.   . . . shares the courtordered gravity of going door to door in the neighbourhood and having to introduce himself as a sexual offender
                                                                                           Aint like sellin Girl Scout cookies.

There’s no excuse. That’s what bathrooms are for.

An before Judge?  Before?


See, see. See Jane.

Oh, Jane. Look, look, look . . .

Look, Dick. Look, Jane. Look and see.


Ideation
           legalish licorice  phonaesthetic  Hell withya Tolkien
legalish Urban Dictionary means to be written or portrayed in a confusing, inarticulate, or complicated manner.  obfuscate

everybody knows what licorice isHell Kaspar one of the Wise Kings brought baby Jesus a gift of licorice  “Licorice!” cried Kaspar, “Sweet, black licorice!”

Melchior and Balthazar may have preferred red

licorice is black

episode

episodic

epicsodomy    How canya turn yare back on tha he coudnt
                                                    Nope   Not at all coudnt

1700,  Thursday,  14  12. 23
2244,  Thursday
1326,  2sday,  19  12. 23
the reader kills him  unappealing  lackluster  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72qQKI7IYlI

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1978/12/24/amahl-and-the-night-visitors/774f7528-05f6-4c42-a096-227a8a6e984e/