it goes without saying

                       or  apodeictic  clearly established beyond dispute

an article headline

                    New study suggests people experience ‘new dimensions of reality’ when dying

YES

        theyre dying imminently  not the longknown process be-it-someday  but rather its on the doorstep coming in

Youre leaving

however

          he was troubled by Sam Parnia and his colleagues

they understood the transition from life to death trigger a state of disinhibition in the brain

“ . . . appears to facilitate lucid understanding of new dimensions of reality – including people’s deeper thoughts – all memories, thoughts, intentions, and actions towards others from a moral and ethical perceptive . . .”

Moral

Ethical

Perceptive

Please

        an error by the writer  perceptive is an adjective  moral ethical would describe a perception

be that as it may

death aint enlightening anyone

                                 or perhaps a particular vile person will be enlightened by their death  too little too late

Lets move em along

Perhaps on a moving sidewalk or escalator

1306,  Monday,  2  10. 23

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/new-study-suggests-people-experience-new-dimensions-of-reality-when-dying/ar-AA1hyLAt?ocid=mailsignout&pc=U591&cvid=92eb8fc014d34bb5a1894ed62bee75b4&ei=103

Unknown: Cave of Bones

Netflix

the Dinaledi chamber

   prepare to lose your mind  he loved doin tha

1731,  Monday,  2  10. 23

https://www.archaeology.org/issues/466-2205/digs/10493-digs-south-africa-homo-naledi-burials

it was a spiralbound notebook  coil at the top

                                                  in addition to the pages contained therein stuffed full of loose pages it appeared wellusedhe assumed prolifically written sketched notated photographs newspaper magazine cuttings held fast with Scotchtape

it wasnt his

his daughters

she was thorough

   it was coming undone

the spiral badly beatcrushed in places bangedbent into each other wire broken pulled  unspooling

he didnt want to say shabby 

                               though overall it was

it would be difficult to look through the pages stubborn to be turned

it was unlike her

it laid on an old wood desk he didnt recognisehe was in a room he didnt recognise

sat  in a ladderback hardwood chair

                                       which suited him

an occasional chair not built for comfort   utility

he was waiting

   he assumed he was waiting for her

he didnt open the notebook

defied his curiosity

he respected it was hersmeant for no one other than she

maybe she left it out so when she appeared shed share with him

                                                                              appeared

   thinking  appeared

he knew where he was was unreal

she was dead

   so much of his life had turned on herhis daughters 

he knew them longerwas more intimate with them than he knew his wife

who was also dead

he sat to the side of the desk kitty-corner from a comfortable chair before it

overhead an elaborate electrical chandelier lit the room

he didnt look about

her spiral notebook transfixed him

he waited

   he waited

and waited

                                      an waited . . .

6AMish,  Sunday,  1  10. 23

1223,  Monday,  2  10. 23

   Curious  perhaps curiouser and curiouser

                                                     he had to read their day to day definitions  rabbit hole  memory hole  because thinkingwaondering on them he recognised his takes were probably inconsistent with what others understood

he was contrary by nature

the accepted standard   a complicated or difficult situation to slip out of   the second named for Orwells 1984 character Winston who by Big Brothers dictates either alters or outright disappears documents photographs transcripts other records the memory hole a small incinerator chute used for censoring say   as formers Chief of Staff Mark Meadows used relentlessly

his rabbit hole belonged to Alice which he recognised as more so an adventure a riot  a raucous alternative

he did a lot of drugs when he was younger  determined to descend deep into himself  determined to explore

his friends let Yahright him go firstwaited to see if he would return before theyd even try whatever it was he ingested

was fun to be an explorer  the first

his memory hole was difficult

it is a physical place

jampacked

his memory was disturbingly vivid  long   and deep

                                                        his parents were confounded  theirs was that in some instancesmany he was a toddler  which wasnt accurate   to toddle was to amblehe didnt walk until he was two his younger brother walked before he did

                                         so

hes figured

like a fat sponge  he was fat

   he was terribly observant

and has remained observant throughout his life

                                                   thereby

his memory hole is a very emotional place

                                            he dreamt of his dead sister last night

she was youngertwentyish  she chucked his chinsmiled   You’re so emotional.

they were in brickwall basement surrounded by things of his things long gone

                                                                                   he weptadmitted  I am

he prefers his holes to the current faithfuls

AM-ish hypnopompic,  Monday,  2  10. 23

1048,  Monday

a friends kidbrother was wayway  waay ahead of the times 

                                                                 tattooed randomly  lacked theme coherence

which wasnt fairtruth be told  had the mind of a child

if he had tats he would not 

                            they wouldnt be eclectic disparate randomimages floating on skinspace like so much outerspace trash  no symmetry

Hey man welcome

Yeah.

Im happy you decided to come along with your brother for the game

Yeah.

Its rugby

My brother said football.

A kind of football Have a beer  Ill put out coldcuts later

Jesus, rugby. I don’t even know what that is . .

. . But youve heard of it   An theres lotsa ya don know

Jesus. Where’s the beerI’m having more than one.

Outside on the porch in the coldchest  When your brother said you were comin I asked him what you drank  I picked it up for you

he turned to go out the screen door

Hey 

he turned back 

When someone gives you consideration yasay thanks 

                                                          Ya know better than tha

begrudging the dressdown Thanks.

he ignored his tone Youre welcome Enjoy help yourself

He’s something. Thanks for having him over.

No sweat

            Its thoughtful of you to ask to include him

Yeahyeah. I’m trying to put some separationspace in place. He thinks every time I'm going hang with my friends he should be able to come out with me. The folks think the same.

                                                                 I’m trying to break two horses at the same time.

I imagine I also got you your beer

HA

    Arent you the sweetest thing on two feet?

Youll never know how sweet

                                they laughed together

Shit  Your brother said ya got another tattoo

Yeah, they’re cool.

What this time

A wolf I saw in a comicbook.

You don read  Who showed it to you

Nobody. I was walking past a newsstand, saw it in an oriental magazine.

Manga

I don't know, whatever.

Where

On the back of my calf.

Which

My left.

Isnt there a star there

Yeah.

An now a manga wolf

Yeah.

You realise mellpell you soon wont have room for others

Yeah.  Which is why I don like people like you.

Careful  Youre a guest but Ill bounce ya if need be

                                                      Why

put off  Cuz.

Because why

something went off in his voice Cuz you don’t have any.

I  don  have  any

                       Are you jealous

What’s that?

   Upset

          Because I have something you want Space on my skin

Yeah. That’s dumb of you.

So youre like someone Im jealous of someone who is going to read a book see a film for the first time tha I already have

Yeah.  Kinda.

he laughedabruptly

                     in that moment it occurred to him that he hadnt felt that way about losing his virginity

out of the mouths of babes

1318,  day-between-2-Ts,  13  9. 23

0409 preferred,  Sunday,  1  10. 23

Vino Volo -- Discover Great Wines   Jesus

                                                     DFW  Dallas/Fort Worth airport

a gray man sitting alone in the Vino bay at a café table noshing from charcuterie board sipping a goblet of white wine

shook him

          reminded him of his distinctdisappointment with two cops a show streaming on-line man and woman vying concluding their assessment at a murder scene

it was a slaughter

blood everywhere 

he said I could use a drink

she replied I need a drink

curt cop talk

next scene

            theyre sitting in a hoity-toity lounge sipping white wine  tie loosened white shirt topbutton unbuttoned   Jesus

Yafuckin kiddin me

he was out

the gray man had earbuds in his mouth moved in convo between bites of meat and cheese that he pickedup with his fingerslicked them wiped them off in a linen napkin on his lap

                                                                  atasudden he vigorously wiped his fingershands pickedup his iPhone that laid beside the board punched its face with a knuckle

                                                                                 STOPPED

rubbed the back of his his neck  irritated

he wore a pressed pinstripe blue-to-purplish shirt open at the throat pressed gray slacks black Sketchers

a strawberryblonde sat down at the table beside him partiallyobscuring his vision of gray she plunked in earbuds

gray donned hornrimmed glassesreally went at worried his phone

                                                                     then

a tall lanky black fella in limegreen Nikes stopped an stood directly in front of him yakking into his phone

                                                                                                                He never mentioned it again. I don’t know if I fucked up or what.

he tuned him out  wasnt an eavesdropper

confident the cat fucked up

he returned his attention to the New York Review of Books he was reading when he happened to lookup at the crowd hustling in either direction and had seen the gray man who reminding him of the hardboiled Twentyfirst Century cops unfortunately

                hardboiled

he was being facetious   Jesus

limegreen stood in front of him a good fiveseven minutes turning in a tight circle clockwise counter asif his foot was nailed to the concourse linoleum

                                    then

he split

strawberryblonde was sipping a white wine

gray man gone

                   too bad he didnt take the cops with him

DFWtime 1216,  day-between-2-Ts,  13  9. 23

1058,  Sunday,  1  10. 23

The White Stripes  Hardest Button to Button  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3ceE43AHyw 

a scentthe  scent  drew him into the woods

                                              he didnt hesitatewasnt afraid

Are you crazy  a voice from behind

Yah  Crazy  a voice inside

   Wanna keep it down Not up to it jump

NO  both voices

                  Were askin

Awright Take the panic out of your voice  Ima big boy

                                                           Yatellinme you cant smell  tha
they sniffed  Ohmy

   Yah OHmy   Mmm mmm good  In we go

they stuffed their trepidation they knew him to be gungho  they were either with him or not hed slough them off like a snake shed its skin

                      there were the others who watchedwho  shaddup werecommitted  come hell or high water  not loyalistshe didnt demand loyalty  cunts were loyal    commitment

theyd gone deep into the woods

scent grew stronger

Hes like a dog

No  Not a dog more feral 

                             A mongrel

Mongrelyes

Yah

HERE he cried Here

it was strong

Yes   between them

                      Here

he tossed himself headlong through bush

before him

            a tunnel

tepiddark not too dark 

                        daylight yellowburning behind them

bush remained parted

                        tunnel walls were elastic  facile

it was warmhumid rounded  not choppedangular

                                                      he pitched  likeperistalsis quivered  slick aromatic  no footing to be had  he scrambledit turned oneway then another  twisted  no handhold grip foothold  he clutchedfingeredfound  a protuberance  sighwas tha a sigh sigh  he heldharder so not to be tossedSIGH  harder  AWW growlsigh  he was facedown  lump at his groinAAAh  he felt ribbons run across his face up down up  ticklishribbons   excitementYes  thawas it  wasribbons  the walls seethed wetterperfume stronger  he was pitched againanagain he latched onto the nub held it strenuously  it PITCHed sighed sigh  sighing gasped grooanedbroke his holdhold gaspingsigh sighed

tossedhe wasGAAAD slungout endoverend OUT  rolled shoulderovershoulder  out through where he entered  bush

ambersun wet earth moistbubbling effervescent  endoverend  crawledup on all fours heeled ably by ferns mushrooms

a Whiiissper blew past his headhis ears  

   WHA was

Shaddup

WHAWASTHA

SHADDUP  he knewwas aware 

                                    they didnthadnt the imagination

   Please whawas tha

                        Pleease they begged

he was slipperywet head to toe

smiling  

         We were  inside 

Wasnt a tunnel

   No

No

An orgasming vagina

just prior to 6AM,  Saturday,  30  9. 23

1901,  Saturday

. . . those big recreational crafts you know

I know. her face pinched

                               What do I know?

Their name

A big recreational craft. pinch wasnt wearing off

                                                    Maybe a bit more?  Like . . .

You know  he stared off into the distance  thinking    eyes left

You’re eyes . . up and left.

   Suppose they areIm thinking

                                     Theyre good size he was blank  unlike him drawing a blank she was distracting him neurons faced each other   You need to fire.   Why don you fire.   Cause I went first last time. Help the dude out.   Maybe after we fire we can help him help her out of her clothing.   Lets say we stay on pointshall we?   Shes distracting me.   Yare paying waay too much attention to her Help.   Okay okay   okayBut  afterwards?   Yes. Sure. Afterwards.

Still nothing?

Water

      Do you wear a bikini or a one piece

Really? What do swimsuits have to do with anything?

Crossed my mind when I said water

                                          Think maybe if I avert my attention itll crept roundcraftylike into my head yaknow like in through an Exit through a back or side door sneaky   like I snuck into theatres as a boy

Okay she smiledhe was entertaining

                                       her girlfriend said he was  And charming.   If he’s all that why aren’t you dating him?   I couldn’t keep up with him.   How do you mean?   Nothing untoward. He’s like running a raceNo . . no . . not a race . a steeplechase I couldn’t keep up . not that he intentionally was . it’s who he is.

Bikini for sunning, one piece for swimming.

Water  vehicle

A big recreational water vehicle . .

. . Tha can swim

                   At the Dells

Dells.

         What's that?

Wisconsin

I’ve never been, a Caligirl through and through, haven’t been across the Mississippi, M I S S I S S I P P I  River, I’ve loved spelling it since first I learned.

                                 So goes in the water, an amphibious vehicle.

YES but really big

                    neurons glared at each other  Almost almost had it Dells   Rhymes With  It

OH, I think I’ve got it, in fifthgrade a girlfriend went East, bird, gooseNo.   Duck.

Goose goose duck

Are you playing with me?

Wanna be played with

I’m not going to dignify that with a response.  she smiled mighty large  awesome dimples

Dells Duck.

neurons yelped fired

                     Suspiciously close

Suspiciously close?

Yes 

her smile brighter

                        This a wait-for-it moment?

   Yes

And?

Dells Duck dil does  Rhyme Phonaesthetics  Put kibosh kabash on Tolkien   His cellar door

Kibosh kabash? Dildoes. she shook her head

Decisively reject Bring into bondage subdue force violate    Dominate

   she giggled Ohmy, mother told me there’d be days like this.

1505,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

1333,  Saturday,  30  9. 23

The Shirelles  Momma Said  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L842mz-tNBQ

Gowniaki.

Huh

Shitling.

   he dipped his head left Havent a fuckin clue wha yare talkin aboutlemme guess  spurred on by Quora Reddit  Cannonfodder  Grapeshot

What do you mean?

   On-line asswipe

What are you implying?

Implying   No

                Saying                                     

Alright . . you’re saying wha . .

. . Loud an clear

                     Wha am I sayin loud an clear

You should say.

You  donwanna work tha hard

                                 Wha am I saying Ive been pretty graphic  Have painted quite a picture Don make me reiterate  

That I’m being led by my nose.

Thank youthank you  Fuckin thank you

                                            Curiousto be sure  shits funneled to you anya act like you found it you were seeking pursuing referencing   Those are different acts than something dumped in your lap

So say so Don ask me

You're being crude.

Im not  

           Say woudya

he dipped his head right  Both mean child, derogatory, a little shit.

So shitling meant child to you when you first read it

I couldn’t say what it meant to me when first I read it. But gowniaki . .

. . Is Polish

              An because of my Polish heritageyou being late to the game National Geographic Genographic Genetic testing which determinedproposed yare possibly Polish despite crazyfluid borders thayare three percent Neanderthal

Anyet despite knowing my grandmotherfamily matriarch demanded tha none of her grandchildren speak Polish Only English   You drop tha on me

                                   Whas tha

he asstwitched in his chair  Nothing.   I’m just informing you.

  Awright  Im informed

                         When reading shitling what did you honestly think

Well . . I honestly came to it from gowniakiI had a heads up.

You thought

No. Shitling. Child.

Shitling  I got Swamp Thing

1515,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

1602,  Reggaefriday,  29  9. 23

chi-blocker

cock-blocker

some people havent a sense ofcant do humour

                                                 though not that that wouldnt make him pullback  forgive

he consideredlong ago when everyone was standing in line to be birthedglimpsing their parents standing opposite themacross a thin membraneoneway  the amnionvellum between non-alive alive  that the Administrator ought to have asked if they had a sense of humour  nada humourTo the end of the line. raising their voice That’ll give you time to think about developing a sense of humour.

no one ought to exit non-alive without a sense of humour

   I believe I heard you incorrectly  intrigued me though

they were talking about funerals

he was Polish Catholichuuge family 

                                      as a boy he attended more wakes funerals than he could shake a stick at his cousinsfor whatever their parents reasons werent allowed to attend but his parents  crazyemphatic werent going to have a loved one disappeared from their childrens lives  their children were going to know Death

he was grateful

unfortunately a lot of people he knew hadnt gone to a wake or funeral until they were older

some of them not until a parent died    talk about unprepared

they knew people died all the time 

                                     just not people who were intimate

   maybe if it was seen fit to allow him through againOhChristNo not reincarnated fresh duds  hed recommend Death to the Administrator

                       Humour whaeverwhoever ya are and Death

. . . I heard you incorrectlyTOO SOON

What did you hear?

No

     Wha did ya say

When?

Christ Ya playin dumb

What did you hear?

   Awright   I thought I heard you say there was a dance after the funeral

No, that’s nuts.

Not if the widow was hot

 

   lotsa people devoid of irony sarcasm   absurdity

1500,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

1445,  Reggaefriday,  29  9. 23