turning he said HEY say  whaya doing over there 

                                                    she was crouchedreaching  Arya tryin to bruise my garlic

grasping it You cant bruise garlic . . can you?

You can bruise my garlic Theyre tender   casually adjusted himself then turned back to the sink where he was rinsing vegetables 

he was her prepcook was really good with a knife militarytrained  remanded to KP time an time again

                                                                                                            insubordination 

his defense  Sir, I refuse to suffer arrogance and stupidity, sir.

choice had been prison or the military

there had been a disagreement he vigorously defended himself  bareknuckles   apparently too vigorous

Thanks judge yare a real peach 

she laughed  muttered Bruising my garlic I’ll bruise your garlic.

Always threatening all mouth an no trousers

What?

You heard me

I haven’t heard that before, where did you pick that up?

No idea cant remember spose I read it somewhere  Nose has always been in a bookhe laughed loudly turned back around   she was rolling playing with the head of garlic in her hand

                                                            Book

she cocked her head  pensively    Book?

Yah  Think Ill double down

she gently shook her head  perplexed    I don’t follow.

Doubling down always   Always my head in a book

Oh, by all means, that makes everything perfectly clear, what do you mean?

                                                                                     What’s with the grin?

You know tha grin

she giggled gave the garlic a squeeze 

                                           Gently  gentle 

Are you going to say? she blushed

Yes 

      From here on out Im calling your pussy book

her hue bloomed 

Thas my grrl

347preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  7  6. 23

1046,  day-between-2-Ts,  14  6. 23

https://www.theguardian.com/media/mind-your-language/2010/aug/26/all-mouth-and-trousers-mind-your-language

a question of character

to his mind it wasnt a question rather a demand 

                                                       either there or it aint 

cant twist someones arm  

only would extract a lie for that moment 

to him character was an innate quality

when someone showed him their hand   

he believed them 

                didnt matter if they were family friend or a stranger

he wanted no part of em 

as a teenager he bought a bike for fifty dollars a duskyred ten-speed Raleigh

his little brother took it without asking

he didnt lock it up he knew better

someone stole it

You owe me fifty dollars

I don’t have that kind of money.

Not now 

           Fifty

his parents wanted to reimburse him

No thank you Don cover his ass   He has to learn 

he didnt push it

his brother didnt pay him back

                              probably figured he forgot 

Asshole his memory abided   it was long tedious accurate 

years later his kid brother took his car without asking for a joy ride on a country road  Rye Creek

he collided with kid who had taken his parents car out for a joy ride too

his parentsthe kids parents wanted to worked out a solution

police werent called 

he ravedstormed out of the room before it was concluded

newlywed he and his wife made a down payment on a car with money from their wedding 

he wasnt disappointed with his brother

he couldnt be  

his brother didnt have character 

they didnt see each other often

he didnt live in state 

he returned for his Dads eightieth birthday the family threw a big party

while sitting beside his Dad sharing an Old Style his brother came up to him

       Are we going to take some time and talk? 

   About wha 

Anything. 

           You’re not impolite, but we don’t talk about anything of substance.

I agree We don 

Why?

Brother he put his hand on his shouldershook him gently  Yare not someone of substance But I still love ya  Youll excuse me please

his kid sister gave him a wide berth

they were also polite

she was a liar

MIDNIGHT,  Monday,  12  6. 23

0021,  day-between-2-Ts,  14  6. 23

 CORMAC McCARTHY IS DEAD

my heart raw Ive no words

John Donne speaks for me

No man is an Iland, intire of itselfe; every man 

is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; 

if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe 

is the lesse, as well as if Promontorie were, as 

well as if a Manor of they friends or of thine

owne were; any mans death diminishes me, 

because I am involved in Mankinde; 

And therefore never send to know from whom

the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.

MEDITATION XVII  Devotions upon Emergent Occasions

1612,  Twosday,  13  6. 23

Ah roommate he had called him for his birthday don’t you get lonely? 

No

Pretty quick, wouldn’t you like to think about it?

Nothing to thinkbout I enjoy the lifestyle prefer my community  

What community? he could imagine his old college roommates face they lived together for two yearswere tight  sang Happy Birthday  Seems odd that you refer to yourself as a community

It isnt  Im faceted 

                         he chuckled  Like a diamond or a mirrorball Hit me with a flashlight at night an I sparkle spangle 

I like my space my timeI like doing wha I want whenever I want 

I have my books films art Im fortunate I can entertain myself   An to this point  endlessly

You arent able to do alone

No I couldn’t. I do not like being alone . .

. . However theres caveat    Being alone isnt being lonely

   I’d be lonely.

Think of all the things you could do 

Things I want to do I want to do with others, my wife, my kids, grandkids . . friends . . . you have friends?

Im talking with one 

No. 

     Friends to hang out with.

No My friends like my family are remote faraway 

                                                       I don impede them they don impede me

No hindrance

Don’t you think it’s odd to think that? Or selfish?

Not selfish  The second time yave mentioned odd 

                                                      I donwanna to hinder anyone I respect they have lives an I want them to enjoy their lives as they want Its a rare instance where need does not supersede want 

I need  I rarely want 

You

I still want things. 

   Ive had things  An most those things I still have 

                                                     I probably saw this coming but didnt recognise it

You’ve always been drawn to the loner . . you remember us going to see Jeremiah Johnson? When it ended you begged off of leaving, you were staying. We caught the matinee. You stayed through the last show, saw it three times, correct?

Yes Twin bill   Good memory

Not really man, you’re the only person I know who spent an entire day to watch one film. Still your favorite?

Yes 

     I watch it fourfive times a year

Shit. 

       You? I should have seen this coming.

Yare at a remove Your whole family lives nearbyhave always lived near Id killya if they didnt

You have exactly whaya want

1118,  Twosday, 13  6. 23

a rampage likely forgotten 

                           https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6UBW0wrB18  

yet another rolls enters Miami tomorrow

fingers crossed its hard hes broken a lot of fingers  a peaceful outcome

a trial

a peaceful legal outcome 

                           because it ought to be vehemently understood  other legal precedents options can prevail

2049,  Monday,  12  6. 23

Maddow  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PBTI1xu8ZU 

Queen  Another One Bites the Dust  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqUenEMwsdQ

Did you just say thatask that?

   Comon man yaint tha dense

                                      theres no tellin whawoud come out of his mouth while he was rocked

if pointed in the direction of the primrosepath given his head he coudbe psychopathic bout it 

                                                                                                 not thatha was a bad thing despite Awspit its characterizations   antisocial behaviour not if taken into account social media   impaired empathy an remorse he had a boss once tell him No good deed goes unpunished. despite the intent the sage words hes continued to be punished for his good acts   an remorse but a morsel of regret or guilt  where did either get anyone  Ill tellya he told himself fodder  fodder for Church Fadders Forgive me Fadder for I have sinned Church prefers its herd held close to its vestments have them keep themselves to short leashes which canhowever capably double as a yardwhip for punishment or pleasure dependent ofcourse Ofcoarse   BOLD   disinhibited Ohbrother let mental health professionals on the playgroundlet them get their hands on things twist em manipulate womanipulate em theyll have everyone on their knees eating out their hands  Fadder UNINHIBITID 

                                                                                egotistical  who aint     

egoist  who aint 

selfinterest 

             fumbled at the keys got selfintewrest  hmm selfwrestling selfish   Aah  Shellfish mollusc they secret calcium carbonate derived from the water they inhabit mantle cells extract an combine the calcium an carbonate ions the shell secreted forms around their soft bodies 

ERGOist 

           Cognito, ergo sum. Rene Descartes Latin ofcourse I am thinking, therefore I exist. I think, therefore I am. 

Ingotist 

         one who amasses casts shapes sizes bitsanpieces to conveniently store transport and later work into a finished product 

HIM 

       rocked

Said wha

You asked How many Dicks you know? 

                                             What were you implying? 

For instance

Dicks.

   Dicks imply wha  I know yare homophobic  Woudya care to elaborate hed panic analso woud freak him out if knew he wrote and also analso too close to his gay notions gay inclinations  inclinednotions so much easier when inclined analso don forget where we came from 

                             Ya have a miserable habit of being unable to connect the dots  Ill take it ya didnt enjoy the numbered dot to dot books we had as kids  Was the only freakin way I coud draw 

ROCKED

Remember

Remember?  Jesus no I don’t remember.

No  Ya get caughtup in your ideations Either things tha offend you or you think offence is intended  Stumbling moth bent like hell at a lightbulb

   You really think that?

Think  No 

            If you think about it  I tellya often But thas neither here nor there Thawhich preceded Dicks which ya cant recall  We were talking how I was fired from Starbucks for fashioning cocks an cunts on top of lattes 

YES!  I remember that.

Now 

      Whafollowed

I don’t remember that.

You will 

            Then I said  Coud you imagine wha a woman woud thinkmight be frightened whad she think after blowing a dozen different guyswomans got an appetitean appetite commiserate to any guys anyes  theyre out there  despite wha you think  Whad she think when confrontedcame eye to eye with an uncircumcised dick 

Like the one you first saw at Nutz Public Pool whenya coudnt swim in ifya hadnt showered naked 

NUSS.

        N U S S not N U T S.

Id spell it N U T Z   Tryin to keep you away from balls

Jesus.

Enough Jesus 

                You recall

Now I do.

Then answer the question

You know, this feels like an interrogation.

Only because when yare sidetracked you get stuck on the siding To be fair at least yare smart to get the hell out of the way of the screaming freight

                              Me  Im rocked 

The answer 

Dicks 

   I haven’t known many.

Biblically 

Blow me!

No thank you

1705,  Monday,  5  6. 23

1405, Monday,  12  6. 23

    Monday or Moanday

Twosday the same

Day-between-2-Ts  the same

Thursday   same 

                   etcetera etcetera etc etc late Middle English Latin ceterus  left over  evolved  Latin et and  and cetera the rest

the same day in an out  

one might spose tha boring NOPE 

                                   from one day to the next he never knew whamight showup whawas on the agenda be it dreamed imagined revealed  dictated

one day to the next the next he was enthused 

                                               brightlywrapped gifts under a lighted Christmas tree coloured motes baubles enhancing them bejeweling   beguiling

an he was a good boy

his hands trembled as he unwrapped them

 

   or he held his breath as they had him squatback on his haunches an undid revealed themselves

0034,  Monday,  12  6. 23

1124,  Monday

Bill Laswell, Toshinori Kondo, Eraldo Bernocchi  Charged (1999) particularly Cornered https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1HxkL1sqqY

Here let me get tha for you he said

she was leaning wayover the front of the cart trying to get her groceries out No. I’m good.

Yes I can see tha but let me get them for you  Ive got longer arms

No, I’m fine.

I was good with good an have no trouble with fine Please   Let me help

she stood uprighttossed her shoulders backpitched shifted her weight her hands startedup then retreated 

                                                                                                                  I have this.

This excuse me  Those 

                          Let me get the groceries unless the mooks in line behind us have paid you a peepshow admission

her eyes buggedhands wentup before her breasts asif to hide them although they were comparatively small woefully inept 

   Yah

0035,  Monday,  12  6. 23

1049,  Monday

competed Golden Gloves

hang a guy on the ropes

beat him senselessbeat him until he falls or the referee pulls ya off 

Lemme say this bout tha

invertebrate Republicans

insects molluscs worms

he sposed if 95% of animal species worldwide lack backbones

why shoud Republicans or their presidential candidates be any different

1831,  Sunday,  11  6. 23

Say, I hear you right, man?

he turned his head to the man standing over his shoulder he and his date were seated at the bar 

                                                                                                       Yamind  I wasnt talkin to you

If I heard you right, that’s kind of astonishing.

he turned on the woodseat stool following his crooked head  wondered whether or not to dismount an make something of it  Nah was having a drink with Legs a getting-to-know-you she did not strike him as someone who tolerated violence 

How can I help so you can leave

Legs reached over took him by the armthe crook of his elbow  Nah she wore a pretty blouse  woud prefer it not spattered with blood

That’s a ridiculous, an outlandish statement.

Outlandish  Thas a big word to comout your mouth 

Careful, friend. Careful.  

                            Who does that but kids?

Takes a Sunday night bath 

                              Yare lookin at him

Why?

I believe Im  Im regressingLegs Correct  Regressing  she graduated from Berkeley double major  International Affairs Philosophy  designed cobbled together fashioned her own program 

                                                                 nodding towards her not taking his eyes off mouth 

Shes the authority round here Don dare question her

Yes. Regressing. You’re correct.

Thank you

So why the bath? You can shower.

Why shower when I can bathe

I can’t remember the last time I took at bath.

Careful he sniffsniffed the air  May be settin yourself up

You’re a riot, friend. 

An yare uninvited

                   turned again on the stool though this time towards Legs Excuse me  Yare dismissed

Say. mouth grabbed him at the shoulder

he didnt bother shrugging off his hand  behind the bar  Red was a buddy 

                                                                                Hey, friend, hands off. 

He was rude. he let go

over his shoulder You interrupted

You gonna let the house talk for you?

It is his house 

                he turned his attention to Legs You like baths

I do. Scented bubbles. Hot. Foamy.  Candles.

Rightup my alley  Maybe someday well share one

she laughed didnt cover her mouth dimples accentuated her beautiful expression

You answering me?

he turned on the stool again 

                               You still here

I asked you a question. 

                          behind him two bouncers approached

he didnt answer

in the next moment mouth was bookended by the burly pair 

                                                                Let’s go buddy. one said

Off me. he shrugged despite neither touched him 

                                                     then stepping backwards I’ll be seeing you around.

he nodded then turned again on the stool 

                                             This can make a guy dizzy 

Legs had leaned in close to him she smelled warm  good 

                                                              Did you take a bath this evening

I did.

You smell fantastic

Thank you. 

               However . . can we return to your remark?

Of course

I wouldn’t say you were regressing . terribly.

No

No.

Whawoud regressing terribly mean

You may have responded to the circumstances like an ape, a caveman. I felt the blood the warmth tick up in your arm.

   Really 

            Thas quite tactile

Yes. Thank you.  I am sensitive.

Might suppose opposites attract

1325,  Sunday,  11  6. 23

ohJOY I was matched on Tinder   I found out through email

Are you on Tinder?

No I have no idea wha matched on Tinder means

Come on, really?

Don look at me like tha ya know better 

she cleared her throat 

                      It means that you and someone else on Tinder both swiped right, the app . .

. . Stop stop  Stop right there 

                               Swiped right

Swiped rightcome on . . you don’t know swiping?

   I know since I raised girls they had to wipe front to back front to back for the obvious reason

Jesus. she shook her head  A great example of wipi . .

. . Thought yad think so Im keepin ya present

Quit interrupting me. Please. 

                              gathered herself  You’re the one who doesn’t know, you’re usually one who likes knowing. 

It’s a brave new world.

Brave aint the word 

                      I apologise   Please

SWIPING paused to see if he had something else to say confirms that you and whoever approve of each other.  A match.  

paused againwas sure he had something inane to say As a match you can contact each other using the app’s messaging platform.

The apps messaging platform

Yes. Tinder.

Ya subscribe to it or wha a freebie 

It’s a subscription.

Anif I didnt subscribe I couldnt right swipe 

                                             What the hell   Fishing phishing  Then for unknownknown numerated scaled reasons someone socially inept takes a bite at the apple or is snaggedcaught their mouths hangin wideopen  agog

   I don’t know. 

                      she winked at him Though you’d have to admit you’d be one real heck of a catch.

1003,  Sunday,  11  6. 23

Jo Stafford  Fools Rush In  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alu8WT1a2HE

Yalook miffed 

I am.

Lemme guess  NahI don have to guess    I havent texted or called 

   Yes.

Im busy

This is important.

It was terribly important almost four whole months ago  I didnt put it on simmerdidnt need time  its languished  Now theyre ready 

               Im not falling over myself to connect 

Im busy

You don’t think that’s wrong? 

Im happy to be wrong 

Come on.

Come on nothing  They said they needed time 

                                                    In the meantime I wove a web feasted I knitted a cocoon for my drollself glazed an immaculate chrysalis When my pupa exudes dustywhite or a rainbowed drag queen then Ill be ready to talk

I havent done this before so when Im moved Ill move but not until then Figure Ive got a minimum whole four months  Checked the hourglass love love love its figure Im not two whole weeks in You hit the floor running Thawas your choice

   Come now Im not hurting your feelings

No. No you're not. 

                   So much more than my feelings have been hurt. I’m cut to the core.

An they know tha 

                    This timing wasnt unintentional its wasnt  Now its when Im ready   I am sorry baby

Thank you. 

             You keep me sane.

You are sane Im your backstop 

                                        he sighed Please don be upset with menot tha I have to remind you This wasnt our fault wasnt our decision  It was made without talking to us

   Yes.

An their language was reprehensible infuriating

Yes. 

   Balls in my court now When Im good an ready 

                                                      Please try not to concern yourself  You tried to tender your piece an for your thoughtful considered efforts you were beatup furthur

Four whole months later 

                            Still desperate to whip yafinger ya as the culprit I know you disagree but thas keepin with holding onto their narrative Theyre blameless  You were wrong I was wrong 

                                                                                     We werent

We fulfilled wha she wanted to a T

1451,  Reggaefriday,  9  6. 23

1811,  Satyrday – he thinks he likes tha, may stick  10  6. 23