he wouldntcouldnt tout a creed they creep like thieves with religious intent

                                                                                 however  he would agree he had beliefs

anright at the tippytop of his list I believe in condoms

some guys didnt

it should be noted he wrote guys anguys arent men

some guys never become or aspire to be men

some guys will be boys their whole life

                                        Peter Pan  I won’t grow up . . I’ll never grow up.

full disclosure  he was a manchild

he believed in condoms with religious fervor

 

he enamoured in those days prophylactics were kept and sold from behind the counter he turned on a female pharmacist who was head over heels that he accepted responsibility for his birth control 

                                                                             she told him so              

she was comely  he could see through womens clothing it was a birthday wish he made when he was younger and because he didnt say what he wished for it came true  anhe tended to be provocative

So which one will you have?

Ahyes ah  which which shall it be

                                      Lemme ask you  Which do you like

I like?

Yes

    Which condom do you like best It don matter to medoesnt matter because inside them Im somewhat desensitised not the same as without  Ive have sex with girls who are on birth control an skin to skin is the best

her eyes went bigshe had big eyes to begin with  huge green eyesflinted with soft amber

The best?

  Yes  The best

                    Ifya have a childchildren youve had unprotected sex  Don try an tell me it didnt feel best

she softly cleared her throat into a looseclosed hand I have a daughter and a son.

Felt best  Yah

she blushed

Colour suits ya

Staahp. inside Stop her voice brokebroke inside a syllable

Eydon mean to make you feel uncomfortable  I just want to know which one feels best to you 

                                                                                                      If we were to have sex

she gasped

                 I . Im almost old enough to be your mother whispered out of her throat like a full looseknotted toy balloon

Almost isnt   Is it

                      Id say your children arent in schoolare they

Are they hung like an undecided translucentiridescent toy bubble undecided to rise or fall or what  hung in languidlazy suspension

    Are they

No. They are not.

Then save me youre almost old enough to be my mother  Antherefore a contemporary Which one feels best  to   you

he could see she was wet between her legs see her belly catch see her nipples swell

                                                                                            Please which one

not hard to imagine why he believed in condoms

1725,  Twosday,  25  1. 22

0029,  ReggaeFriday,  28  1. 22

Hot Chocolate  You Sexy Thing (I Believe in Miracles)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4WCutVJs7Q 

Rickie Lee Jones  I Won’t Grow Up  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF_tbn4C1jI

extra Ecclesiam nulla salus  dogma fetch your bone   thoperhaps more likely  dogma take a bone

   Latin

          outside the Church there is no salvation

 salvation

            the preservation or deliverance from harm ruin loss

for tithe celebration confession

                                 one is spared

until theyre not

                 God works in mysterious ways

until He doesnt

if he were demanded to concede begrudgingly  Gawd at best is a trickster a coyote a wall to wall compendium of opposites  annotNOT to be counted on in the clutch

                                                       too many clutches 

                                                        too many hands

perhaps if there was a waiting list to join To the end, just go to the end of the line, there are no cuts, you’ll take your turn when and if you have one.

a parcel hed negotiate with who for his concession

   

   unlikely

given all the horrible errorsthe terribly late apologises

limbo

purgatory

no evidence

taken on faith

a mighty big fucking ask

 

leave him be

ask someone else please

he was happy and content just being a good person without a club jacket or avowed membership to anything

1725,  Twosday,  25  1. 22

1027,  Thursday,  27  1. 22

Intelligence Squared debate  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZRcYaAYWg4

limbo  abode of souls of unbaptised infants

purgatory  state of suffering inhabited by souls of sinners who are expiating their sins before going to heaven

an ancient oak taking a kneenot because it wanted  but because the current property owner decided it should come down

       he saw the house turn three times in the last nine years  current tenant were all tenants moved in a little over a year ago                                

he wondered if oak wiffed its demise

it was huge

workers cut at it with chain saws from two buckets took down its smaller limbsbranches

but oak had a surprise

                         they cut it to gnarly Y  its left curled out over the road an ended in a curlicue an questionmark  its right had been cut lower an discovered a hollow

                                                     inside were bees 

                                                                         the buckets shot up bouncedbobbedplummeted to escape their fury 

he laughedthought

                    Good tree good tree still holding your own 

For now it moaned

by the time he returned the trucks and workers had fled

as he went to pass earlier a worker warned him

the bees formed a thick column

Im good he said I didnt violate them

                                       he walked past him anto the right of the column  he thanked the bees for their help 

bees paid him no heed

                        bees never paid him heed  as a boy he cuppedcradled bees in his hands  saved them from drowning in swimming pools or lakes  he had established cred goodstanding in their hive mind everyanywhere he went 

       he knew it like he knew his left from his right

howls sounded behind him

Retribution

couldnt pay him to cut a tree down

he climbed themplanted them  he was on their side

they were the planets lungs

a basic premise seemed lost

bees were also critical

                         also seemed lost

thick dull human beens

1417,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  26  1. 22

broke his heart he actually put his hand to his chesthe felt violated

                                                                  violated   horriblyANGRY

nothing worse than not having culprits apparent

                                                  theyd be sneaky because sneaky was equivalent to clever in their book they were pieces of shit he wished he prayeddidnt buy into it   but if he did hed pray he could prey

the O’Biden administration is all in against the Trumpvirus

                                                               896,674 deaths  courtesy of the Former

the government made N95 masks available across the country for free he would have been happy to pop for his

he understood the drugstore he went to had received them

he was horribly horriblysorry to say  perhaps sorrier because he expected it

                                                                                while walking there he found a perverse trail of Hansel and Gretel breadcrumbs

he found thrashed N95 masks

                                 evidently some people who took advantage of free masks took them only to destroy them

    unAmerican Americans

2252,  Twosday,  25 1. 22

1259,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  26  1. 22

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-to-get-free-n95-masks-from-the-u-s-government-11643114887

Bowie  Young Americans  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iO6OvHxD_m8

C R T critical race theory  he despised acronyms Just open your fuckin mouth an say 

critical race theory is inconvenient history

                                            some whites find American history terribly inconvenient but its history it aint flatteringfucks with their myths all der talkin at niggers dey aint equal dey stupid dey aint worth time of day plug nickel

reflexively cry Pull yourself up by your bootstraps! 

(little tough when yaint got boots)

accordingly to deny rewrite history some white Republicans seek to ban books they find appalling  theyre racists   homophobes

theyd burn books

                   Oops .. dey forgot unlikely Nazi Germanys Kristallnacht  Nazi 1933 book burnings

Burn baby burn burning bright

                                    but O theyll remembertheyll point fingers O  1965 Watts Riots

2136,  Twosday,  25  1. 22

1116,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  26  1. 22

https://www.ns-dokuzentrum-muenchen.de/en/documentation-center/historical-site/memorial-the-blacklist/book-burnings-1933/ 

burning bright  https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43687/the-tyger

when he left the library he took the more remote concrete staircase down to the road rather than the ramped sidewalk that paralleled the drive up

he could count the times on one hand over twothree times every week over years that he encountered anyone usually just their refuse cant seem to take their trash with themtake it down to the bottom of the steps where the city maintained a trash can  across the street from it was the bus stop

                                                        HOW FUCKIN LAZY

                                                                              taking a right to the stairway off the sidewalk that ranround the library he saw a large man standing with his back to him  he was unkempt caught his wild mane under a darkblue baseball cap a shaggy beard curling off the side of his face wore dusky mustard overalls could make out the frayed collar of a plaid flannel its colour not matching the overalls

walking upon him in a loud voice he said COMIN UP ON YOUR LEFT

unkempt tilted his head backheard him stepped left into his way

ON YOUR LEFT

unkempt didnt turn he stepped right laughedhumoured like a bear with his nose in a honey tree hollow Sometimes I forget my left from my right.

                             Excuse me.

No problem Im lefthanded write a lot so immediately know my left from my right

I don’t write, mebbe why I can't remember.

Understand

                  passing him Have a fine day

unkempt kept turning rightkept his back to him You too.

no way he blushed not knowing his left from his right

                                                        he avoided his eye avoided being recognition

probably a good thing

                      ifhe looked anything like he smelled he didnt want to see

approximately 1400,  Twosday,  25  1. 22

Jethro Tull  Aqualung  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0jMPI_pUec 

he made a mess all the way into the urgent care clinic

                                                       rather too he had made a mess over the two blocks he walked to get there

at the window he told the girl he was bleeding unable to staunch it as he walked  he bled all over her lobby 

                                                                                                                  he turned from her and went into the toilet grabbed a gout of paper towels sat on the pot elevated his legheel on top the toilet paper dispenser and applied pressure

thats where he waited

                        had it happened while he was nearer home he would have gone there and managed 

when they entered to apprise him it was his turn he shagged them out

                                                                          FerChristssake get me a wheelchair wha the hell ya thinking exactly why he was against urgent care facilities moneygougers

finally they got him into an examination room

the doctor was waitingGOOD  they deserve to wait too turn the tables on them

he let loose of his gripsat back in the wheel chair let the bluelatex gloved man work

he had had a good grip on the wound

                                        when the wrap of brown paper towels were removed his pant leg cut up to above his knee Cut by the seam Doc I intended to sewem up it appeared he arrested the bleeding to an ooze

You walked here? gotta love a bedside manner Can you tell me what happened?

I can Look for glass in it

the doctor startledalmost pushed back on his roller chair Glass?

Glass

       I was walking in the street no sidewalks on that stretch of road walkingkicking up dried leaves downed by the storm a week back saw something tumbling off the shoulder I thought cellophane a discarded wrapper until it veered towards me

             I was attacked by a glass spider when it went through a ray of sun it was dazzlingthrew off rainbowed light  dispersion  yaknow It struck I smashed it used my book like a paddle It shattered

                                                                                               Theres glass in the wound

I . . I . I don’t know what to say, that’s a fantastic stor . .

. . Doc a fantastic fact

                        Treat the leg please

he had to probe anaesthetised the area behind his anklesup his calf used a L E D magnifying examination lamp

when he concluded You must have swatted the . ah . er . . spider . just right, most of the punctures were clean. It must have been larg . .

. . It was a huge

                 When I get out of here Im doubling back to see what I can find I sidestepped out into the street to avoid it I hope traffic didnt crush it to bits  Ill see

You’ll excuse me, I’d like to see too.

You saw what you removed Yare welcome to a portion but Id want the remainder Ill sign for it if I request you must comply  I know how this works

                                   Anif I find something worthwhile Ill be happy to return anlet you see  Fingers crossed

Thanks for your help today

his leg felt queer when he stood  he chuckled

What? asked the doctor

Very Kafka Metamorphosis Or Stoker Dracula  I might not be myself tomorrow morning

                                                                                                Sure you want me to return

Jesus, Joe.

He did  Jesus

approximately 1400,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  1. 22

1232,  Twosday,  25  1. 22

he liked quotesloved quotes he loved how they pointed fingersloved how as easily they could flip a bird

                                                                                                               he supposed one could point with a middle finger however its defiance would be tempered when you finger Fuck you you want it to say FUCK YOU 

loved quotes

for example

             “What the Nazis ‘found exciting about the (white) American model – against race-mixing – didn’t involve just eugenics,’ observes James Q. Whitman, a professor at Yale Law School and the author of Hitler’s American Model: The United States and the Making of Nazi Race Law (2017). ‘It also involved the systematic degradation of Jim Crow, of American deprivation of basic rights of citizenship like voting.’”

he also lived for “the words” quotes for example

                                                    George Carlins 1972 Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television they are in order “‘shit’, ‘piss’, ‘fuck’, ‘cunt’, ‘cocksucker’, ‘motherfucker’, and ‘tits’” ofcourse to be remembered Carlin was a comedian

                  David Lane a white supremacist in the 1990s claimed a “fourteen word” manifesto “We must secure the existence of our people and the future for white children.”

with all his finger--nails he could claw raw historical (National) amnesia – “. . . the excision of the memory how the seed of racism in American blossomed into the Third Reich . . .”

he loved quotes he thought them jim--dandy

                                                 so when people were uncomfortable when he talked of the equivalence between Hitlers Nazi Germany and todays white Republican Party hed cite historical references 

seemed awfully fucking simple to him

                                         if an equation is 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 9  no one can come along and say (dead air preceding) . . . 1 + 1 + 1 = 9                                                                                                                                                                                  without the six prior integers DUH its impossible to arrive at 9 where we are  they cannot be ignored

he was questioned once actually often  You know what your problem is?  he loved it when people told him what his problem was  No  Wha   Your problem is you’re living in the past, you remember too much, you need to live in the Here and Now.

close to 1400,  Monday,  24  1. 22

The Cruelty Is the Point: The Past, Present, and Future of Trump’s America  Adam Serwer (2021)          

he didnt like suits or suitsmade no bones about it

                                                    frankly his demeanor accompanying his words could easily be described as rancor

Colour Me Rancor Face

                         like Johns Razor Face though not necessarily anyones old friend

he infrequently made friend was fond of acquaintancesmaking acquaintances they wouldnt take up his time he wouldnt let them

You don’t like suits.

Not either

Not either . . you confuse me; either?

Yes 

I’ll need more than yes.

Not ifya think about it if you quiet your confusion

                                                    Ya can do that Take a breath Whawould I call a suit

she knitted her brow

                       little could diminish her attractiveness her countenance tended darkly her expression quietly malevolent  she put people offthey thought she didnt like them  they were wrong  she didnt think of them

they were cut of the same clothtwo peas in a pod

Whawould I call a suit

Youd call a suit a suit, a suit of clothes.

Yes

An . . . an you’d call . . aaw, a stuffed suit . someone who dare tried to lord over youNOT happening.

Dig your enthusiasm  I knew you knewnever had a doubt in my mind

                                                                          Why were friends

Why I’m having an affair with a friend.

Yes we are

               the only friend he would

2146,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  12  1. 22

dreamed affair with a friend 0800,  Monday,  24  1. 22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udGvU-y2xgQ

Imagine           

          Stardom

Sodom

     sodomised Stardumb  Donforget Gomorrah 

                                                     No  GO GO GO MORON

Gods anger was provoked by sin a thinskinned old coot anfor that He devastated the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah

O kind compassionate loving God

    he wasnt a fan

                    Hell Lots wife was warned not to look back she did ofcourse she did she was curious  they hadnt the proverb Curiosity killed the cat cats werent pets then  He turned her into a pillar of salt

speaking for himself he wouldnt have looked back though if it were Medusa hed toss her an eyeball

                                                                                                         Ohmygoodness, you’re hard as rock.

in an Elvis drawl Thanya thanya Thanya very much

Nonsense is liberating

                        though it really bugged him that the Bible hasnt a name for Lots wife  shes Lots wife   yet some Jews – they have a name for everything  like the Germans – call her Ado or Edith  Ado means agitation fuss frustration  Much Ado About Nothing   Shakespeare knocked it out of the park

he liked to think they thought alike  

He acted pretty severe when Ado/Edith threw a peek over her shoulder then the Crumb banished her from the Bible 

she was due billing 

Lots wife didnt cut it

                      Fer CHRISTSAKE Jews have seven seven   he believed seven names for God                                        

the classic YHWH

El

Eloah

Elohim ah him 

El Shaddai  shady

Ehyeh

Tzevaot

he was grateful they afforded her Ado or Edith

                                                   

Aah he was just plugging along seeking purpose  one should have purpose even if every once in a while its inane

such as now

               It helped him put one foot down after the other 

2226, Saturday,  22  1. 22 

919 preferred to 2119,  Sunday,  23  1. 22 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRsaxXrjk3w

         Well

                            he was found outhis bailiwick revealed

he wasnt inobvious

the elephant in the room

he had a hard-on about phonaesthetics cellar door

                                                    it was not the most beautiful sound of a combination of words in all history anhe could give a shit that J R R Tolkien said it he wasnt a linguist a cunning linguist but a philologist one who studies texts ancient texts  a lover of words

it was his chore to knock cellar door off its pedestal

                                                       he didnt want it broken it was a pleasant sound he just wanted Google search 173,000,000 results in (0.78 seconds) to populate cute cunt or rawawkwardness cellophane floor optic cup or even most recently rock a Mohawk ahead of it

he would keep plugging away until Tolkien and cohorts C S Lewis E A Poe it wasnt E A it was Edgar Allen who the night before he died cried out Reynolds Reynolds repeatedly a deathbed Rosebud  C F Kane it wasnt C F rather Charles Foster  THE Citizen Kane

                            keep plugging away until cellar door conceded its surfeit of acknowledgment 

even Mick Jagger stepped aside and let Lisa Fischer own Gimme Shelter her haunting vocals rape, murder, it’s just a shot away, a shot away

                          give an upancoming challenger a shot at the title rather than ignore an refuse them as they rap at your cellar door

1401,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

0229,  Sunday,  23  1. 22

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/still-mysterious-death-edgar-allan-poe-180952936/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAWaJuT5YEM

Siamese shed

                 a new phonaesthetic for his list

where tha come from

from his eightynine year old barberthey got talking about pets Ya got a pet

I do, two cats inside and three ferals outdoor.

You like catshuh

No.

    The Siamese are my wife’s. She passed away last year and left them. The three outdoor were my neighbors. He moved to Oregon last year, left them, and they found me.

When my wife said she wanted the cats I said No.

She told me they didn’t shed, and got them anyways.

Might suppose the price we pay to keep our women happy

Perhaps.

          A week in I pointed at the carpet and asked my wife What’s that? What IS that?  She crept up on it slowly, watching it the whole way, then turned, relief painted across her face and said It’s shed.   Shit? I asked   Shed, shed, it’s shed.  Then realised I was playing with her.

Siamese shed

               Say that three times real quick  

0953,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

2152,  Saturday,  22  1. 22