he humoured himselfcracked himself up 

when one lives alone it is incumbent upon them to humourentertain themselves

he had a whole lot of practise
                                and he didnt mind practising on others

he was on the road stopped entered a breakfast canteen 

he fingered the menu and then set it down

he ordered as it was ordained as he drove into Goleta 
                                                         Rancho Dos Pueblos  Wet please

the galthe early morningrather busty server asked Rancho Dos Pueblos?
                                                                              her eyes went up and to the side
he liked to think they did because thats what he expected 

he liked things to happen as he expected

she echoed again Rancho Dos Pueblos? Perhaps she said perhaps to enlighten him Perhaps you mean Huevos Rancheros?

Huevos Rancheros

Huevos Rancheros

Huevos Rancheros

HmmNo Im sure its Rancho Dos Pueblos

It isn’t. she said

he wasnt often attracted to gingers 
                                      although to be sure she was someone to be attracted to her and her abundant freckles across her face working down her throat to chest no telling where they stopped  an all of it set off by her green catarina
               he was intrigued

Tell ya wha You have it made Ill eat it

she tapped her pad with her blue ink Bic pen  thinking

I suspect he said itll cost about as much as the huevos rancheros you tout mebbe a bit more expensive for the oysters an shallots an additional eggs 
                                 Also  its critical when you serve them critical that they jiggle when you walk  However you understand that The jiggling is important

her eyes rolled to the ceiling

leaning forwardhands on the table he followed them he exaggerated craned his neck  Watcha lookin at sweetcheeks

her eyes came down 

she looked into his  then said sternly Really?  Sweetcheeks?

Yasayin they aint

she looked exasperated

Colour looks good on you

her exasperation piqued

Yes Definitely looks good on you Yamake em jiggle an Ill make it worth your while I promise Im good to my promises too an so quick they can twist your panties in a knot  Before you can cry Polly wanna cracker 

Polly  as I understand usually wants hard crackers

Polly I promise Can have what she wants

Or you can tell me to leave

                                No  hard  feelings

1219,  Sunday,  13  10. 19

2304,  Friday,  10  4. 20

Traffic  Gimme Some Lovin  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJP0-xo_Ugk     

“This is sad talk”  “. . these are the saddest new conferences” yet he boaststweets about his rating numbers “Im talking about death” is he really

he pivots “I'm going to have to make a decision, and I only hope to God that it's the right decision . .”

what happened to ”Only I alone can fix it.”  it is America

                                                             is he trying to scapegoat Godfinger Himmake Him a fall guy when his decision runs afoul agroundgoes bellyup like a dead fish  smells like dead fish 

                                                                      anNo  he isnt talking about coronavirus dead placed inside refrigerated trailers

he can say hes throwing the doors wideopen for business in America May1

                                                                                  that isnt his decision

1253,  Saturday,  11 4. 20

https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2020/04/10/trump_reopening_the_economy_the_biggest_decision_of_my_life.html

https://millercenter.org/i-alone-can-fix-it

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/he-could-have-seen-what-was-coming-behind-trumps-failure-on-the-virus/ar-BB12tYrs?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=mailsignout

Shakespeare

“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury (the fat man), not to praise him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;

So let it be with (the fat man)."

https://theintercept.com/2020/04/08/system-update-with-glenn-greenwald-edward-snowden-andray-domise-and-cassie-king/

Listen

        it is worth your while

0105,  Saturday,  11  4. 20

Los Alamos California 

he rolled throughhed heardhe didnt remember who or where it was where the Andy Griffin Show was shot

when he visited it he dismissed that notion Horseshit 

he wasnt a sucker born every minute NO  not a P.T. Barnum utterance 

he didnt think Barnum said it he knew Barnum however believed in the doctrine of total depravity

total depravity asserted that people were not inclined or able to love God God? his gawd  not with their hearts minds and strength but rather they were inclined by nature he assumed Nature to service their own will and desires  rejecting His rule

Yah he could get behind the doctrine of total depravity

the womanwomen he rode with might have agreed had he asked her or them he didnt  therefore they never had a chance to say

they liked the lettuce he offered

they nibbled shyly 

                     they nibbled their eyes without askance 

he preferred they nibble

they nibbled and therefore pushed out their time together

what Los Alamos did have was 

                                  One

Charlies Restaurant one of the very best greasy spoons he ever dined in

they shared potato skins and onions rings she had a Super Cheeseburger she wanted sautéed mushrooms on top too

he had BBQd pork ribs extra sauce

they washed their food down with pints of Ballast Point IPA and licked their forearms clean the licking was encouraging 

the food was damn good wholesome 

HA then it waswasnt it up to them to destroy wholesome  

                                                             Two

was the Skyview Motel its driveway ran up between old palms  and every time he drove between them he wished he stopped to interrogate them one by one coerce their confessions

Ohdafuck  the stories he was sure they could tell 

he would listen with rapt attention

what they discovered inside  was that the Skyview Motel was also the Whole Lotta Ceiling Motelmirrors hung above youaround you when you fucked all around you you were fucking  and it was not hard to get absorbeddistractedcompete with your doublestheir fucking the whole room afuck cocks sucked pussies sucked the upsidedown twisting gymnastics each competing with the other for who fucked best stood on headsheads stuffed down throatspussies grinding breaths gasping fingers strokingpoking any orifice game gamed humphumpHumpty Dumpty Whaah  Humpty Motel  

then alas perhaps sadly

                           thats where he left his paramours                                                                  

left them the room paid for with their bellys full

                                                an anywhere else they let him enter them

1141,  Sunday,  13  10. 19

1533 or 333,  Friday,  10  4. 20

Jefferson Starship  Miracles  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m8izf-oXY4

Melanie  Lay Down  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZ52lk9wjZI

Beautiful People  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoyyZEaDUyU                                          

https://www.msnbc.com/the-beat-with-ari/watch/-liar-trump-fact-checked-for-dangerous-coronavirus-claims-81908293524

                our lamebrain president says “What do you have to lose?.”  “A drug called Chloroquine . . and some people would add to it, hydroxy, hydroxychloroquine.”   

Asshole

         Ahbrutha hed love to see this president play Russian Roulette  a .38 in his mouth as he taunts others  love to see if maybe his lyinghis misinformation wouldnt finally catch up with him

1752,  Friday,  10  4. 20

the Christian director of CDC of course its an acronym Center for Disease Control – lets be blunt the CDC fell on its face controlling coronavirus Director Robert Redfield MAGA Make America Great Again whisperer/chanter is prescribing aggressive contact tracing* for the Nation going forward an age-old practise nothing new to Seattle or parts of California that employed it while the Director was wha  sitting on his hands biding his time affirming his devotion to his Bread and Butter his Great Fearless Leader the president of Delusion Division and an unmitigated ignoramus

Director Redfield wants to ramp up contact tracing perhaps wanting us to Fuggedaboutit! his failure to provide the Federal coronavirus testing program – his singular job

                                                       OhOoops! Fuggedaboutit. Nothing to see here.   

“ . . it is going to be very aggressive, what I call ‘block and tackle,’ ‘block and tackle.’”

perhaps in his head hes a football player 

                                           though thankfully however he admits it was the American people – who are playing nice unlike some Red states and individual Reds -- “I think we’ve seen an enormous benefit of the social distancing guidelines, – lets not forget crowded churches on Easter – and this is really a credit to the American people.”

1227,  Friday,  10  4. 20

*  “ . . the process of finding and reaching out to the contacts of someone who tests positive for an infectious pathogen. Those contacts are then quarantined or monitored, and if any of them are also positive, the process is repeated with their contacts, and on and on, until the chain of transmission is halted.”         

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/04/10/831200054/cdc-director-very-aggressive-contact-tracing-needed-for-u-s-to-return-to-normal?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20200410&utm_term=4512997&utm_campaign=breaking-news&utm_id=28916831&orgid=55

https://www.kff.org/coronavirus-policy-watch/is-contact-tracing-getting-enough-attention-in-u-s-coronavirus-response/

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/09/cdc-director-robert-redfield-coronavirus-176247

FRAUD! scarcely any proof of rampant voter fraud anywhere in the country FRAUD!  its the battle crythe rallying cry of white Republicans

House Minority leader Kevin McCarthy hes a fraud  a – as he calls it – a disgusting fraud

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/09/mccarthy-mail-in-voting-177540

1335,  Friday,  10 4. 20

he was reading beside her bed

he was reading a book he gave to her on her birthday when she was in college they drove up to spend the afternoon take her out to dinner and then spend the night on her apartment floor in the morning she had to leave for a competition

but it was her birthday

theyd steal whatever time they could

the book Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee had short parts he could read one and look up and see that she was still asleep she catnapped hadnt truly slept in threefour months she couldnt lay down sat at a seventydegree angle

he read one put his finger between the pages to hold his place

                                                                   then read again

she woke in tenfifteen minutes in a sudden gasplunge lurch that shed been waking like of late 

Easy baby easy sweetheart Im hereright here he took her hand shegrabbed his

                                                                                       Im here Youre here I love you

he told her he loved her every time he had a chance

she couldnt speak

her eyes grew big

                   she said I love you with her eyes

she looked at the book in his hand over the ventilator mask she wore 

her eyes asked what he was reading

he held it up his finger still in it 

her eyes grew large again she nodded it was a favourite of hers

I found a short piece I wanted to read to you

she nodded

she released his hand  he took the book in both of his  cleared his throat  he steeled himself so he didnt cry

Chief Crowfoot

                 he died on her birthday in 1890

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night, it is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

he couldnt raise his head immediatelycouldnt look in her eyes afraid of what his daughter would see in his  

when he finally looked through his tears she had tears in her eyes

Beautifulhuh he croaked

her eyes shone Yes

he croaked again Almost as beautiful as you I love you so very much

she motioned to his hand

she could hardly move her arm

he took her hand

she squeezed his hand he squeezed hers back

they didnt  they didnt let go of each other for a long time

0744,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  2  10. 19

2258,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  8  4. 20

Fuggedaboutit.

                the painted clown in Trumplands center ring squeals like a little girl   

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/-admission-of-failure-chris-hayes-on-trump-saying-the-virus-should-soon-be-forgotten-81811525815

Fuggedaboutit.

                       

hed love to forget about the phantasmagoric excrescence and putrescence this president has laid at our feet

Aint gonna happen

2256,  Thursday,  9  4. 20

it was corrosive

                      he remembered walking into a classroom of teenage girls at an extension high schoolmaybe fifteen girls some kids dont learn mainstreamcant be taught in a parochial environment

they were pregnant

they were embarrassments to their parentsprobably God-lovers 

to their community which preferred it didnt have a problem with their youth

straitlaced 

Conservative

head-in-the-sand

                   somebody can fuck you in the ass if youve got your head buried in the sand just an observation

corrosive

           he later saw a smattering of young women left high and dry and with a child or more abandoned by their impregnator who have an inalienable right to inseminate not their fault they were seduced and by their rights they werent going to provide for the fruit of their loins

                                                    and there wasnt a damn thing the women could do about it

abortion was outlawed

shackled

slavery

aint bygone

1036,  Sunday,  13  10. 19

1611,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  8  4. 20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hsu2oASd6x8

John Prine  That’s How Every Empire Falls

he died today -- coronavirus claimed another soul

2013,  Wednesday,  8  4. 20

he didnt knowcouldnt say maybe it crept into her skull early one morning when she couldnt sleep and went out to sit lay down on the couch in the livingroom and turned on the bluelight of the television sound down she didnt care what the machine had to say the pictures interested her more the faces and she could makeup words that they said perhaps words she always wanted to say either she was too frightened despite being outspoken or no one cared anyway her eldest son had told her he quit listening to her advise when he was still a teenager living at home

in her blur of illness and tiredness maybe her hallucinationsher hypnagogic trances were more entertaining

maybe it did creep in and infect her brain she said as much maybe that prevented her from sharing with him  

I don’t have to share with youwho do you think you are?

Im your son I love you Im asking you because Im concerned Im asking the same question Ive asked during telephone calls and in my letters These are my only access to you However you avoid me

I don’t have to address themI don't know what you’re talking about.

You should understand Maw I wont stop asking

Ah, clever boy, a battle of attrition, like Nazis invading Poland, invading Warsaw. You had family die at the beginning of war, die in camps . . 

. . Youre being really dark Maw 

Is this how youre feeling insi . .

. . I don’t know how I’m feeling, what I’m feelingI’m unhappy, I’m unhappy with my health, how I am living, the husband I have . . 

. . Whos caring for youfeeding you  running errands for you

You don’t know.

What I know is what you have told me in prior telephone calls  Thats what you have said

I did not.

You have

I don’t remember. 

Okay

Would you prefer I call back later Maw

Yes. Later. Maybe I’ll feel better later.

Youre not hurtingcorrect

Life hurts. 

You know that.

Ill call in a couple of dayscheck up on you You should have a letter arrive this afternoon or tomorrow

Perhaps tomorrow. The mail arrived today and there wasn’t a letter from you; unless, of course, your father is keeping it from me.

You know he wouldnt

You don’t know that.

You received my last letter

Yes. I don’t remember what you wrote in itI don’t even remember what I had for breakfast.

Ha  I dont eat breakfast so I dont have to be concerned about remembering that I didnt

You’re foolish not to eat breakfast.

Ive been foolishwha almost twenty years now You always tell me to eateat breakfast  But it works for me

It’s not smart.

Ive never been accused of being smart

You’re not stupid.

Im not stupid I wouldnt suggest it to anyone but it works for me

You should eat more.

I eat what my body needs Gas to go from here to there until I need to refill

You are not a machine.

Are you recalling this conversation

his mother laughed This? Yes. I recall.

There you go You do remember things

I remember like Pavlov’s dogs.

Look at that You remember Pavlovs dogs Thats memory Well keep working on it 

And then maybe youll say  youll answer me on the telephone or in a letter 

I will keep asking you

You should save your breath.

I love ya Maw

I love you, Joe.

he was always Joe to his Maw

he was always Son to his Paw

he wished shed say what was ailing her 

                                           but they often discussed that their lives were the only thing in life they really had for only themselves

he shouldnt mind not knowing if she didnt want to say 

what he needed her to tell him was that it was none of his business not avoid answering the question again and again and again

two different things

Hell she taught himtold him never avoid things

was it some kind of do as I say not as I do

he was a parent

he said and did exactly what he said

they werent different things

he sighed Ah Maw

1239,  Twosday,  1  10. 19

1453,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  8  4. 20

James Gang  Tend My Garden/Garden Gate  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqeErugWXZ4 

         acting     Acting      ACTING! everyone in Trumpland is   ACTING!

the IG selected by a panel of inspectors general Glenn Fine the ACTING Pentagon watchdog was removed Monday by the clown in the center ring Drumpf who replaced Fine with Sean O’Donnell the EPA Inspector General which to be fair the EPA is sitting on its hands not overseeing industries due to coronavirus apparently healthier and more convenient to let industries oversee themselves

1733,  Day-between-Two-Ts, 8  4. 20

https://www.propublica.org/article/trump-inc-hotels-do-appear-to-qualify-for-coronavirus-bailout-benefits?utm_source=pardot&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=dailynewsletter  https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/07/trump-removes-independent-watchdog-for-coronavirus-funds-upending-oversight-panel-171943