5.4.20

1 part Bear


I got have a bear suit I really need a bear suit

in the same breath he covered need and want 

which was peculiar for him

normally they were separate

he preferred invoking need

want he maintained wasnt necessary

she didnt flinch she did tilt her head very slightly Okay, what kind of bear? she asked despite knowing the bear it would be

Griz

A grizzly bear suit, a grizzly body, legs, claws, a grizzly head completely covering your head or a headpiece and your face decorated to look like a bear?

whoa he couldnt help but wonder if she hadnt given this some thought already how she was spooky presentso very  thoughtful

Suit Headpiece Face decorated

I thought as much, I just wanted to be sure we were on the same page from the getgo.

Yes Apparently so right out the gate

Not an Alaskan Brown . .
. . No . .
. . Kodiak . .
. . No Griz You know

I know. An though you might find this hard to believe, I think I know of someone who might be able to help.

Wha no shit

No shit. You know me.

I love you

I do know you


Got no love for me

she rolled her huge brown beautiful eyes I’m helping you find a Griz suit.

You do

I do!


she didnt ask why he wanted a bear suit 

it didnt matter




she told him to jump into the Toyota a Toyota shed had nearly twenty years 

inside it it looked like a womans closetthe insides of a womans purse 

she grabbed some prettyslipped tampons off the seat so he didnt sit on them

What  no con . .
. . In the glovebox . .
. . doms
she fired him a ridiculous smile We gotta go, babe.

We gotta go now

Now, yes. He mentioned he might be leaving town. And when he goes he goes, no telling when he’ll be back.

Do I know him

Nope.

Hes a crafts guy aint he

He is. Completely unlike you.

Hed stay in Cotton Ball with youhelp you hash out your colour palette for the different quilts

He would.

Is he gay

Possibly. I’ve never asked.

He ever hit on you

You jealous?

Nah Youre married to me 

Yeah. I know. Got an itch, wanna scratch it, tell the other first.

Yup Respect goes two ways

Yet again why I love you.



she went out of town over the dry river bed

they were in the boonies inside ten minutes

He lives out here

Tell me that’s a rhetorical question.

Stating the obvioushuh

No huh. Duh.

he looked out the sideview mirror and watched the dust kick up off the dirt road behind them he could almost imagine them as a spaceship riding on a tail of flames

Drifting on me?

Imagining

Drifting and imagining aren’t unlike.

They arent I was thinking how cool we must look from above he turned and looked at her Im also thinking how cool youd look and move if I opened your blouse unclasped your bra

I would, but around this next grove of oak is where he lives.

On the way back . . pretty please

Maybe, on the way back.

If Im disappointed because he doesnt have a line on a Grizwho is he whats his name

Jerald, with a J.

If Im disappointed and Jerald doesnt have a line on a Griz suit then yesdefinitely  on the way home

I said maybe.

Im looking for a commitment

Ill commit youya keep it up. The Funny Farm’s white labcoats would love to play around, tinker, with what’s inside your skull.

Theyd find its filled with G-spots
Jesus.
       We’re here.



a narrow dirt roadnah two dirt lines where tires ranran beside rusting and some snapped and curled barbedwire on rudehewed woodposts some were capped by rusted-out tin pails a few more festooned with old hats that looked like jerked beef weathered and hard
                                   then the road opened a ramshackle lean-to appeared rusting hulks of machinery to its right inside it sat a not-as-rusted hulk chipped babyblue pickup truck

she veered leftbumping and bouncing as they went and stopped on the grass  twentyfivethirty yards beyond them an equally ramshackle cabin save for some fresh unpainted board patches on its face and bright shingles on the roof

a lazy blue smoke rose from the riverstone chimney   

she laid on the horn as she got out of the car Jerman!

Thought you said Jerald

You don’t know him; you haven’t been formally introduced. Then maybe he’ll allow you to call him by his pet name.

Pet name All yours Im happy to call him Jerald  JERALD

Jesus. Woudya stop? You’re so loud.

He might not have heard you or the car horn

from inside WHO’S BELLOWING?

ME

WHO’S ME?

MEs ME

HELLO MEME! A walking, talking one. I can’t wait to see.

I think Ill like this guy

she winked I think he’ll like you and winked again Particularly in a bear suit.

Aint cosplayin babe

No. Though to others it might seem so.

Ive no intention of wearing it around others

she gave him a quick smile You’re no fun. as Jerald came out through wideopen standing door

Hello! Jerald hailed Cece! Nice to see you! 

Jerald looked to him Is it Joe, or Meme?

We could go with JoeMeme rather rhymes  Jerman  Doncha think

Formality be damned. I know Cece’s keen on it, but knowing her one can’t help but know you too.

he was quickbuilt  a lean rubberband he crossed the tall grass and wildflowers to them making up better than the halfway between them 

Jerman hugged Cece then extended his hand  Joe. JoeMeme.

Jerman

they shook hands

So what the hell brings you out this way? Another halfhour you'd've missed me.

Thought as much. said Cece We jumped in the car and beat it. I thought you might be able to help, or at least give us a lead.

For?

Joe interrupted A Griz suit

Jerman looked at JoeMeme no expression visitedcrossed his face A Griz suit?

Yes Please

I told Joe youd likely be our best bet. Cece said

Well. You never aim to flatter, Cece. I think I may know someone who has a bear suit; although I can’t say for certain a Grizzly suit.

Really said Joe

Really. We’ll take my truck. His place is really out-of-the-way.

This is out-of-the-way

This really isnt, JoeMeme. But Bobby’s place is.


-- continued--


1246,   Twosday,  31  3. 20
1751,  Sunday – with three stops inbetween,  5  4. 20
Aerosmith  Walk This Way  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c8O2n1Gfto




he rolled overwoke to Eve of Destruction playing on the radio  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_38SWIIKITE

he should have turned it off earlier this morning before he laid down to fall asleep

Fuckin McGuire he sighed  Whadhe know prowled out of his throat

Nothing He knew nothinghe knew a good song

Sloan knew he wrote it he knew times were bad 

he just pointed his finger at it

commercially it probably did well


he as he listened listened to it and the sound of rain falling softly behind it like a blush through the open window he thought damn right it was mighty fitting this morning  for this time

good thing he didnt turn the radio off when he went to bed



the world made it through 1918  through World War II   

itd make it again
                   and maybe some real bad ideas and decisions will be changed for the better

0158 & 1149,  Sunday,  5  4. 20
John Lennon  Nobody Told Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idA4NWlk-gc


Trump hes just a symptom

hopefully a symptom we can banish and set straight

0051,  Sunday,  5  4. 20
Billy Joel  We Didn’t Start the Fire

4.4.20



it occurred to him he might be a Jew

it occurred to him long before he questioned his parentshe knew he was of Eastern European blood  Polish
there bloods mixed

mixed happily


the only thing that clued him to his blood was his long  long   memory

hed heard Jews had long memories

his memory often confounded his parentsWhy would you remember that?


his family was from Krakow
Jews flourished there

Tell me Tell me if you can And if you cant sayif you cant say no

Then dont


Youve said many of our family died in Polanddied in Nazi concentration camps
                                                                                   We died with Jews
I dont see a separation
Not at all


I was born in Americaborn of Polish descent

Ive no problem with Jews

They make fine meals feed more better than most  Why wouldnt I assume their humanity

Though likely Id be a disappointment  

Im an atheist


2326,  Saturday,  4  4. 20
Elvin Bishop  Fooled Around and Fell in Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k33x_Efa5Lk  


our National disaster
                       a two-headed coin 
Coronavirus is one head 
Trump is the other
0037,  Saturday,  4  4. 20


taking things presidential to a new level
                                           a new level is often construed as something aspirant creating yet a higher bar

however memorialising this presidents callousness  it seems the only tool in his toolboxthe only chord he knows

he fired Michael Atkinson the intelligence community inspector general who recognised the impropriety of the presidents actions
         suppose America will have a new Acting ICIG -- among so many Acting -- before it knows it
after callously  though presidentially  refusing to reopen enrollment for cant resist Obamacare  actually the ACA  the Affordable Care Act  not perfect  but rarely and rarer by the moment is anything out of Washington

1121,  Saturday,  4  4. 20

3.4.20

the fix of memory redux



autumn trees have no memory of their spring
                                                or their sapling years besides and
beneath the older trees they fought
and through odd fortune 
they grew  usurped them and fed at their decay like vibrant vampires 
seedlings come full circle


no memory

but if they did
a memory for just the past year
to remember being vigorous and green
now bare 
clutching a thin cloak of coloured leaves at their throats quietly
desperately
as the cycle is
and must be
and saplings not so very far away  flourishing

what would they think

would they think as I do
as I struggle with my infirmity
fight my regrettable emotions of being less than I am physically capable
                                                                             of my growth   
my greening and autumn


I revere the cycle
too many of my people have died to not

gentle cogs
             terrific gears
                             the spent tears of our unexpected lives
for which I am grateful
                         and saddened


such is the fix of memory


1919,   Monday,   20  6. 11


the Acting Secretary of the Navywho? Thomas Modley who the fuck is Thomas Modley?  Ah  businessman political appointee  following the Commander-in-Chief like a dog with its nose to his arse relieved Captain Brett Cozier of the USS Roosevelt for the letter he wrote to Navy command seeking to protect his sailors from death by Coronavirus

so nice a hack runs the Navy
1758,  Friday,  3  4. 20    

Coronavirus Anthem


1247, Friday,  3  4. 20
Dave Edmunds  I Hear You Knocking

Thanks For The Memories


one would think one should expect that managing the coronavirus would consume Agent Orange  aka Drumpfs time  yet  his legal team is seeking to manipulate the Election  


saddle up his accusation  the Democrats Impeachment Hoax The House did impeach him  took Washingtons eye off the emerging virus

this clown cobbles lies and excuses together as quickly as a spider spins thread



--  I don’t take responsibility at all.



--  I’d rate my response to the coronavirus a 10.



of course  wouldnt expect anything less would we

1234,  Friday,  3  4. 20



Jared Kushner resurfaced

he remains inane

nice to know some things dont change 

still cant find his ass with both hands

speaking at Thursdays Coronavirus presser regarding the Strategic National Stockpile he brayed  “The notion of the federal stockpile was it’s supposed to be our stockpile. It’s not supposed to be states’ stockpiles that they then use." 

. . its supposed to be our stockpile
                                       who are our


hed tuck Kushner in bed with governors Abbott and DeSantis Texas deems abortion a non-essential procedure  Floridas Johnny-come-lately Stay at Home order deems houses of worship essential businesses and can remain open

  Ahbrutha
               can nearly make one conclude that the wrong people are dying

1116,  Friday,  3  4. 20


Jared Kushner resurfaced Redux

the clownAgent Oranges administration provides cover


1425,  Friday,  3  4. 20
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/kushner-stockpile-trump-coronavirus

2.4.20


say Buhbye Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler a profiteer aided by her husband Jeffrey Sprecher and any politician who regardless of their stripe sought profit
1846,  Thursday,  2  4. 20



they looked at their wristwatch then up at him not glaring  accusatory more like something didnt smell good You’re wrong, you’re off by three minutes, you're three minutes late.

No  Im on time 

Three minutes he said as he tapped the crystal  maybe growing impatient

Im on Trilogy time my time

Trilogy  tr . . what? What’s trilogy time?

Its the time on the Trilogy ventilator my daughter used

Its the time Ive run my life by since August  Ran hers life


As a matter of fact it gave her time
                                                              

Which isnt something I could do or you   But I respect it 

And why Ill be on Trilogy time until time doesnt matter


Time will always matter.


he looked him not glaring or accusatory
                                           more like something smelled bad

1008,  Thursday,  2  4. 20
Stones  Time Is On My Side  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oSRvcdlgSI






he didnt breathe

  he sighed
             and sighing he turned his calendar to April  and caught unawares he sobbed
her birthday was this month

the day the year

through his tears trembling  after her birthday he wrote the month the day this year
her death

1101,  Wednesday,  1  4. 20

1.4.20


opportunities knock in the Republican world
                                                Fuck it  its a virus  a smokescreen
A brilliant opportunity! Drumpf and Barr might saymight collude


memorializing  ad nauseum

1812,  April Fools,  2020


White House admits the next two weeks will be tough
                                                          100,000 to a quarter million deaths

memorialising  ad nauseum

1756,  April Fools  2020


Aye yai yai 
            Ey . . Ey . . . EY he knew Faker knew Spanish   Me Me  ME!

evidently according to the president  New York hit Pay Dirt acquiring emergency Federal provisions for the coronavirus


just memorialising – thats what he did
1700,  April Fools! 2020


he hadnt walked this wayon the side of the road  in four months  truly   itd been four months he was called away suddenlyplucked like a weed
                                a tall proud weed conspicuous 
standing up straight                                                                                                                       

righteous?                                                                                                                               
probably                       

probably
           thats what beatings get you

getting beat

then getting back up


he learned from his beatings they taught him skills

he learned to defend himself and win  and then the challenges became fewer and fewer

because those who opposed him didnt like getting beat up                                                                  

some think its a dog-eat-dog world

he preferred equality

the long string of wins he enjoyed were wins he had convincing them  dog by dog




Ah it was asif the street hadnt changed in his absence which was impossible though he liked that he imagined it hadnt
that it stayed as it was  waiting for his return

maybe it did

there werent any runover crushed squirrels to pick gently up off the street

1337,  Twosday,  31  3. 20
1156,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  1  4. 20

not an April Fools joke


fucking Texas 

the coronavirus provides opportunities

2-1 The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals has banned abortions deeming them non-essential procedures

the dissenting judges name was published James Dennis however the two judges who ought to be forced as theyre forcing ought to be forced to support the children who may be born were not  perhaps they may believe “life begins at conception and ends at birth”

1348,  Wednesday,  1  4. 20


he closed Chazes Black Wings he was readingkept a finger in it to hold his spot and sat down on a bus stop bench to close his eyes and listen to the sounds of the construction site across the avenue the parkway listen to its hem and haw its buzz like out of a bee hive the buzz that was in his blood

he didnt listen long

the sounds these many years later werent as comforting as they once were there were no hammer blows the bang bang staccatothe measured blows that pounded a 16penny nail in with each strike
                                                                                       instead he heard the soundthe erratic pneumatic punctuation of nailguns the chachachachacha inhale of tanks filling the dry umbilicals dragged from place to place skittering like inorganic snakes and the dull slapshots they made as they banged against the plywood sheets that the workmen appliednailing the plywood to the skeletal studs while working off mobile hydraulic lifts

they were effeminate carpenters who wore fake nailbags and often fingered their cellphones fat men who pulled triggers their bellys hanging over webbed belts trussed and steadied by wide suspenders 
there wasnt an athlete among them  

but he supposed there didnt have to be the job wasnt physical any longer

there were no ladders scaffoldings or jacks lifts rather that wheezed like persistent ventilators aiding unwell patients  


AHhe shook his head and stood up  the buzz still in his blood 

he opened the book 
                     “Jeepie’s face became a tangle of shining black, a modernistic tangle of fluid and flesh where bullets from the cover tore into it . . .”

Kahrist he said closing the book on his finger again One more death Happy its literal   

1404,  Twosday,  17  9. 19
1047,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  1  4. 20

31.3.20



he came up to her on her bed and kissed her goodmorning then because there wasnt room to sit beside her he took a seat on a black metal folding chair at her feet

she smiled quickly at himher impish smile she was up to something she then returned her attention to her cellfone that she had been going through when he entered her bedroom  

she wasnt absently finger it certainly wasnt overtly deliberate

he sat  he began to ask her how her night wasif she had rested well

she smiled at him againbigger than the first as a song started from out of her fone


he wasnt listening just yet he was still occupied if she rested or not she hadnt been and he was also still preoccupied with his own thoughtsshaking out the cobwebs of his deep sleep and the stickier cobwebs of his crazedfantastic dreams

then he heard
             . . . Toast to the ones that we lost along the way . . .
                                                                        and he stopped thinking and listened
he didnt know the song

obviously she did


he tried his best to hide the tears that welled in his eyes

when he looked up at her he saw tears her eyes We’re a pair, aren’t we? she said

Yah Quite a pair

then they said nothing more  

just listened
              and listening looked into the others eyes

0901,  Friday,  20  9. 19
1213,  Twosday,  31  3. 20
Maroon 5  Memories



she was the lifeguard  shapely in her red swimsuit  her striking blonde hair pulled back into a heavy ponytail   

Ill take a deep breath he thought hold it throw up a hand go limp and sink towards the bottom



turning lazily as he drifted he saw that the surface looked like a sheet of mercury and he watched it split and boil as she shot through it and kicked down towards him

beyond her heels it went suddenly pale like components of a lavalamp cooling  congealing and as she swam it was like seeing her through a sheet of clean green cellophane

she curved and curled around him slid along his back and shoulders she was smaller than she had looked in the distance 

her hand hooked into his armpitthe crook of her elbow at his throat he felt her brace him hard  kick up  and kicking up they rose in a futuristic love embrace 
                                        a love with all the heat taken out of it
without affection

love of purpose


he didnt want her to be angry with him so hed inhale the green water suddenlyaerated by his escaping breath so she could save him from drowning

thinking about it  he nixed the idea 


there had to be better ways to meet a girl

1220,  Thursday,  19  9. 19
1059,  Twosday,  31  3. 20
Steve Winwood  While You See A Chance  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfpTSmlyqG4