difficult news bad news  made him furious 

                                               then hed try  try to negate his irrational bent  not beat someone senseless

not provoke them as much as his palms itched

the news exhausted himpulled his plug   emptied him

it made him heavy  two tons

made him want to sleep

                                            

it was better to sleep than to beat someone 

                                              despite him lining them up earlier as being worthy a good beating

he wouldnt kill them theyd never know how lucky they were  Never Not in a million years

thats how oblivious they were

who knows

maybe once he got up from his nap hed go out to find them anyways  insult taunt them

                                                                                              see if they wanted to dance wanted a piece of him wanted to walk into his ambush walk into the rage simmering inside him

maybe

who knows

hed see how he felt when he woke from his nap

1625,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  8. 19

Moscow Mitch

sounds like a cocktale

                        but then you taste it and spit it out violently  scrub your tongue with a cloth napkin then swill some iced fresh water to dilute it fearing youll vomit   

http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/mcconnell-at-nexus-of-increased-russian-leverage-on-u-s-66129477985?cid=eml_mra_20190815

1432, Thursday,  15  8. 19

theres almost a comfort that Netanyahu can come up from giving head  to clear his deep throat  and reverse himself  lie about why he is blocking US Representatives Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib from visiting Israel on a fact-finding visit

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/israel-will-block-muslim-reps-omar-tlaib-visiting-country-deputy-n1042606?cid=eml_mra_20190815

if we give it a moment his fellatio-partner 69er Drumpf will soon clear his throat too or unwrap his fingers to tweet  applauding Netayahus decision

1420,  Thursday,  15  8. 19

his daughterlittle knucklehead told him that 432 Hz (Hertz – frequency – electromagnetic waves) was her frequency the frequency that made her feel her best OhChrist Dont ask

Have you thought about yours, Dad?

My frequency

Lemme listen to yours

You bet!

         https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R27N7lBZzuo&feature=youtu.be

he listened

he felt the musicthe frequency wash acrossthrough him asif he were some gorgeous fabric  sieve  pulled taut across an unimagined portal an access egress exit  a thing in-betweenWha  Consciousnesses    Dimensions 

it was similar to acidtrips hed taken

                                      trips without destinationswithout impediments  

without gate agents conductors extremities 

without skin

            without  mortal boundaries 

he listened

Yaknow babe This reminds me of MinnesotaThursday nights Music to Disappear Into

Yes. I think so, I remember you telling me.

Ive told you many times

Yes, you have, though it’s nice you’re acknowledging this for me.

You dont need me to acknowledge anything for you baby 

No. Maybe acknowledging, acknowledgment, is the wrong word. I sense that I feel what you felt then, when you were listening to the broadcasts.

Ohgoodness Definitely I dig ambient music But how couldnt I  Music is the universal languageChrist I wouldnt be surprised it didnt communicate with things we believe are inanimate plants rocks With animals  I believe music has its own vocabularythat it can transcend any brook or barrier   

I feel I could share this with the sperm whale vertebra disk ribs I have in the livingroom

Yes. It’s wonderful, isn’t it?

It is I feel marvelous

It makes me feel marvelous.

An you need thatyou need to feel marvelous You need to feel that you lord over your domain 

I try to recognise that I can control what I can; though there’s much out of my control, and what that is I have to accept, have the courage to accept it 

                               I think you understand.

Reluctantly  I do

But Im a confrontational cuss

A confrontational old cuss.

Hey  Are you trying to get the last word in

Dad. 

I think you’ll always get the last word in.

Because you don’t know how to shaddup; nor would you.

Thats not a terrible thing baby

No.

It’s not.

Any adversary you confront will have their hands full.

As with you

Yes.

As with me.

But then I’m your daughter, and you’ve spared no time or effort informing the woman I’ve become.

We spared nothingyour mother and I

Yes.

But Mom didn’t hold a candle to your . apoplectic . . nature, shall I say. I can remember her trying to rein you in, and you’d spit out the bit, twist out of your reins and harness, throw cautions to the wind.

I’ve always admired that about you.

I can’t, not like you can, but I love, adore, that you can.

Thank you for saying so

You’re welcome.

I don’t need to say this: but don’t ever change.

he smiled I couldnt if I wanted to  Im set in stone

I love you deeply baby

I love you.

You going to find your frequency, Dad?

Yah I donwanna cop yours Ill letcha know when I find it

I’m anxious to hear.

0948,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  8. 19

Pink  Courage  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbGOfep7Mgc

                          sit with me

                                                    sit beside me

we can talk and laughyou can tell me a tale 

an Ill spin you a fantastic yarn 

                                          Ill pull your leg

talk with me

laugh and cry with me

grow old with me 

                        grow old sitting beside me

so I can hold your hand

an gaze into your eyes

so together we can gaze into Eternity

2119,  Sunday,  11  8. 19

0937,  Moanday,  12  8. 19

stolen hours  their stolen hours were something to be behold

                                                                 but unfortunately were not held often

thats how life shakes outthey were up to their eyeballs in each other then circumstances came to prevail that pulled them apart

the glue at their joints were still sticky  opposite magnetic poles still attracting  which begged irritatingly for reunification 

               albeit shortlived comingtogethers

they teased Beggars cant be choosers eh

their lives took them down separate paths  paths they each desired  and people in love want for the other what they want deep in their hearts 

love does not hold hostages

if one wants to keep the other

then they do not really love them

                                     they want to possess them 

possession isnt love

its owning

no one owns another

1619,  Monday,  5  8. 19

1221,  Sunday,  11  8. 19

The Beatles  Come Together  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oolpPmuK2I8

the FAKE PRESIDENT retweets Epstein conspiracy theory claiming Clinton connection

granted  hes on vacation enjoying 100% unstructured time  letting his mind wander as he plays with his dick musing on the Old Times partying with Epstein  Run with the it

1844,  Sunday,  11  8. 19

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-retweets-epstein-conspiracy-theory-claiming-clinton-connection-n1041146

he finally met his daughters Reiki master

it occurred to him that when she was a little girl he didnt let her visit a friend or conceive of an overnight unless he had met her friends parents 

                         no fuckin brainer  he vetted

he was vetted

parents keenly watching out for their children

                                                 and in this thinking an epiphany occurred  while his daughter had been training with her Master for many years he had never met herYES his daughter had childrenwas an adult yet and because they lived hundreds of miles apart he hadnt had the opportunity to meet her

so since he made a sudden visithis daughter already had planned a session he asked her if he could ride along to meet Karren then leave them to their Reiki and he would walk for a cup of coffee  afterwards she could pick him up

Such a deal 

Karren is a beautiful spirit

they embraced when they met

then he left them to their Reiki and he went for his coffee  he carried his everpresent cloth sackhung by its handles over his shoulder which held pens paper clipboard and usually two books though cut to one as the session would be an hour and a half

his daughter recommended an organic food store not a mile off along the way home when she finished her session  called Erewhon

he remembered the store  upscale  attracted the attractive peoplewealthy people who could afford expensive organic foods

the storeas he recalled was magnificent  maintained to peakperfection it gave him goosebumps to walk in and pay five dollars for an medium organic black drip coffeehe hadnt had a coffee out in well  he couldnt remember the last time  whywouldhe  he had coffee and a coffeemaker at home he glibly defied convenient products

he took an outdoor four-chair table in the shade to himself

it was hot outside

most of the customers remained indoors in the lavish café that had counters countertables and intimate café tables four chairs  knee to knee 

setting his coffecup and saucer down he slipped his carryall to the tabletop across from him 

he picked up the book he brought  JFK and The Unspeakable: Why He Died and Why It Matters a harrowing insightful political and US Intelligence history  their audacity hubris their wicked wicked ways 

                                                                                            it made him gag to be an American 

No  he wasnt going to readhe read as he walked over No he was going to write his daughter letterhe used to have coffees and write letters while people looked over his shoulder and asked what language he was writing in he guessed audacity didnt stop at Intelligences waters edge  he did though enjoy the slap of their jaws when they hit the floor whenwithout looking up he said  English

to be fair to the eavesdroppers his handwriting had flourisheshe could have been a tagger and he defied writing line after linehe wrote small organic wholes then spun the pagetilted iwent upside down and traversed whole to whole with arced arrowheaded lines mishmash in brilliant BICred ink every pagefront and back looked organic looked artfully

but thats because it appealed to him

he never received one of his letters

he thought if he had he would be thoroughly entertained 

it wasnt necessary his words communicated anything 

he called it mosaic 

his parents said they could only read a page at a time

they called it a labyrinth 

See! even his parents could get onboard

                                           however they also complained it was not easy to read or comprehend

he laughed If it made you thinkeven if you didnt understand a word of it it made you think I dont care if you can read it or not If some worm turned in your brain I did what I wanted to do

so he put JFK aside and wrote his daughter letter

he lifted his eyes to the customers coming to the store out of the parking lot

manymany bodacious women scantilyclad it was a hot day

but the surprisehe was grateful his daughter hadnt showed up yet was the two bikers on chopped Harleys wearing black leather colours insigna filthy hair moustached beards grisly bulked up tatted

                                                                                       it seemed Erewhon preceded itself and attracted clientele like moths to a bright lightbulb in the dark

his daughter arrived before the bikers exited

                                               he was curious what they might have purchased he prayedand he didnt pray it wasnt beer or alcohol

1615,  Moanday,  5  8. 19

234 or 1434,  Sunday,  11  8. 19

Ides of March  Vehicle  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXvegzWNIps

he was reading about stress 

                               though if any stress crept or slithered near him it provoked a kneejerk reaction  he steadfastly maintained a vigilance to minimise his stressors violently  

                                                                          perhaps those animal didnt recognise his confrontational nature

long ago his father taught him if a fight was imminent he should throw the first punch 

lotsa fights in his experience didnt go beyond that preemptive strike the reality was it was a combination and for it he kept in his head that he wasnt going to be killed by a dead man  he delivered more coup de graces in Nam than he would admit  

that was then

that was survivalhe tried not to think of them
                                                 they were water under the bridge

yet he often struggled to put away the vapoursthe smoke that seeped from their broken skulls against  which played like film projected on its nebulous suffering revealing bits and pieces of their lives their upbringingtheir families  their intimate memories

                     which every human being shares 

they remain gut-wrenching

when adrenal and corticoid levels went up with stress inverse melatonin levels were suppressed  the good oldfashioned misunderstood pineal gland was at work
Gawdbless its ugly little head

melatonin is mightily at work when one sleeps

                                                  fashioningdictating dreams

so  combatively he suppressed stresshe suppressed anxiety worry his foes  he suppressed them viciously  kneecapped any attempt that HAmeandered into his realm

Life can be difficult 

                     but one doesnt have to dance with all oncomers  one picks and chooses their battles

he was preemptive 

he was ugly

he didnt apologise

1041.  Twosday,  6  8. 19

1518,  Saturday,  10  8. 19

PS FAT is nothing more than stored energy

                                                America has more stored energy than one can shake a stick at

Epstein extinguished 

                       his son-in-law tipped him off in a text Good riddance Epstein ya pusillanimous predator! pusillanimous was a taunt a code word they shared from their last visit

pussyllanimous pussy  occurred to him in the first moment

                                                               then in the next it occurred to him the damning evidence Epstein took to his death . . all the wealthy well-connected predators his death would protect

                                                                                                  and if someone thought otherwisethought Epstein raped abused young girls singlehandedly  that he didnt share

Fuck them

1223,  Saturday,  10  8. 19

TMZ perfecthuh  https://www.tmz.com/2019/08/10/jeffrey-epstein-dead-dies-suicide-jail/

Hey, Joe . . . it’s just Mom . . Sorry I missed you.

just Mom  just Mom   what does that say

crazy voicemail on his home machine

                                        it occurred to him to torture the truth out of the machine but torture eventually produces only what the interrogator wants

                                              and if an interrogator wants lies to support their theory theyll get the lies from the mouth of who they torture

queer how intelligence communities try to sell that they can get the truth  or get at the truth

they extract what serves their purpose and hand it off as reality  

one should remember intelligence agencies are built on plausible deniability

in the United States it has allowed them to assassinate political and religious leaders when they either stepped too far or went over the tips of their skis 

                                 amazing  in the Land in the Home of the Free and the Brave

cross power 

             itll cut you down   

all you can hope is that those who are behind you will not be intimidatedmade fearful

living in fear isnt living

survival 

         isnt living

he called her back the next morning

he was at work when she left her message

Hey

Hey what? Is that how you greet your mother?

My mother maybe not my mother however you cast aspersions when you said its just Mom makes me think youre implying  just Mom that perhaps I have another mother

What?

Youre not just Mom youre Mom  Correct

You knew what I meant.

I did not

I cant say Ive ever left a message where I said  its just Joe

But you parse words, Joe, you always . .

. . Maybe I should have been an attorney

Maybe you should have; you’re argumentative enough.

Umm  Id say confrontational  not argumentative

Parsing words.

Oh JustMom Get on with it Why did you call

Your father and I were watching the news yesterday and we saw that two men, two murderers, were in your neighborhood.

My neighbourhood

Yes.

My neighbourhood  Or California

Stop. In your neighborhood.

In my home town

No, not your home town . .

. . Then they werent in my neighbourhood awright

No matter. We just wanted to be sure you were safe.

Thank you JustMom Ill assume the murderers were white They killed people with guns

Yes.

Then likely they killed people they could victimise  Last thingId think a murderer wants to do is try and kill someone who can defend themselves  hurt them   kill them

Don’t be too sure of yourself, Joe.

Thanks JustMom  Ill keep that under advisement

One of the men shot themselves.

So  then I need only worry about one white man

Well, no, he surrendered himself to police; walked up to a squad car and told the officer he was a suspect; I wish the cop would have shot him dead. 

JustMom  The cop he surrendered to was white

Yes.

Well  the cop wouldntve shot him  White cops only shoot black men.

Oh my, Joe, you’re terrible!

Terribly honest JustMom

Would you stop with that Just Mom crap.

So there isnt another Mom in the picture

No. I’m your mother.

Think again If youre owning being my mother youre owning some responsibility for who I am And sometimes I dont wanna own up to who I am 

But like Popeye I yam what I yam and dats what I yam  Im Joe

You’re a screwball.

Im your screwball  Gotta go Maw  I love you

I love you, Joe

.

1523,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  8. 19

1552,  Friday,  9  8. 19

Fela Kuti  Why Black Men Dey Suffer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvmKcB-nziE

Popeye  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzHmunZxJeM