he was reading about stress 

                               though if any stress crept or slithered near him it provoked a kneejerk reaction  he steadfastly maintained a vigilance to minimise his stressors violently  

                                                                          perhaps those animal didnt recognise his confrontational nature

long ago his father taught him if a fight was imminent he should throw the first punch 

lotsa fights in his experience didnt go beyond that preemptive strike the reality was it was a combination and for it he kept in his head that he wasnt going to be killed by a dead man  he delivered more coup de graces in Nam than he would admit  

that was then

that was survivalhe tried not to think of them
                                                 they were water under the bridge

yet he often struggled to put away the vapoursthe smoke that seeped from their broken skulls against  which played like film projected on its nebulous suffering revealing bits and pieces of their lives their upbringingtheir families  their intimate memories

                     which every human being shares 

they remain gut-wrenching

when adrenal and corticoid levels went up with stress inverse melatonin levels were suppressed  the good oldfashioned misunderstood pineal gland was at work
Gawdbless its ugly little head

melatonin is mightily at work when one sleeps

                                                  fashioningdictating dreams

so  combatively he suppressed stresshe suppressed anxiety worry his foes  he suppressed them viciously  kneecapped any attempt that HAmeandered into his realm

Life can be difficult 

                     but one doesnt have to dance with all oncomers  one picks and chooses their battles

he was preemptive 

he was ugly

he didnt apologise

1041.  Twosday,  6  8. 19

1518,  Saturday,  10  8. 19

PS FAT is nothing more than stored energy

                                                America has more stored energy than one can shake a stick at