he may have the longest-lived AIO toilet seat in America

                                                               14 years

it looks 14 years

it looked rural gas station

but the motherfucker is functional

                                          hence

attractiveness long gone

like all things that age

                             however

its years off of the record toilet seat he ever saw

                                                     As God as my witness Ill never see the likes of it again

Unfuckinlikely

Florida

             they took a turnout to a gas station

crossed a brief decrepit bridge over a moat that was fed by the Everglades which was all around the station  its backdrop an abbreviated horizon for the prehistory vegetation and palm trees

they got out

handing them a sawbuck  I expect change  I gotta take a shit

the three guys nodded as they pulled through their wallets for gas money

 

he leaned into the lobby  no one there

                                      Excuse me  Key for the restroom please

from somewhere in its bowels Got no key for the toilet. Left, around back.

Thank you

Yeah.

left around back to the right of a heaping yellow an rust dumpster the door

                                                                                  it did say TIOLET on it

                                                                             scrawled in black MagicMarker

                                                                                      a gallant effort

door was cracked open a bit

  something   emanated

he pushed it open with his foot

black flies for doormen and attendants anticipating tips

sink

metalfaced mirror

urinal

graffitied stall

not black MagicMarker

a few telephone numbers for a good time for a blow job for a hand job  boutique services

had he a pen he would have printed his girlfriends number she was all the jobs rolled together  then some

    some nights he swore she was hired to kill him

pushed the stall door open with his foot

of course its hinges creakedgroaned

they didnt want to be there either

he also didnt have a screwdriver to free them

looked for tioletpaper

looks like itd been drop in  water didnt dare wonder what water

he had a handkerchief

it was gonna take one for the team

hed remember it

purple paisley bandanna

That’s not a handkerchief. That’s a bandanna.

Yasee my nose Broken three times it weeps an aint a damn thing to be done about it except to blow it

purple paisley bandanna

gift from Lulu

hed write her a letter thanking her again  profusely  and advising her of its demise

                                                                                         how grateful he was to her for it

looked in the tiolets maw

swear something moved in the bowl

shit on it

it shouldnt be there if it was there

stood on the seat

held the bandanna between his teeth

unbuttoned his green 501s

took it to his ankles

red Jockey briefs to his ankles

squat deep

Steady steady through his grit teeth

shat plenty was a healthy shat when he looked back on it

wiped himself

dropped it on the floor on top of a pile of used tiolet paper heard somewhere that was a Mexican thing  but Florida  maybe Cuban

yanked up buttoned up dismounted  Hi-yo Silver

opted not to flush

worried its contents possible creature would bubble up and spill

                                                                                     thought  Leave well enough alone

stepped out

Jah

       wasnt using the sink

considered hed use the spray bottle and solution used to clean windshields to wash his hands  heading over he saw a mounted peeling enamel tin holding folded brown paper  hed dry his hands with that

coming out onto the apron two pumps  three chuckleheads

                                                                Guys  Id suggest ifya got shit go up the road a bit an shit on the side of the road

For that matter

Piss there too

Toilets unholy

Woudya toss me the keys Id like to get in the trunk

opened it

opened the cooler there

opened a beer

washed his hands with beer

sipped  breathing through his nose cleansed his palette

What the hell, man? Wasted half a beer.

Antiseptic

dried his hands on his pants

midnight,  Wednesday,  12  8. 26

1116,  Sunday,  16  8. 26