astonished

quote taken from Sebalds Silent Catastrophes  A Venetian Cryptogram

                                                                                      astonished him

It does . . . seem as if for him the threat arising from a homosexual encounter was possibly even more terrifying than the fear of being engulfed by a woman.

                                                   ODD

someoneanyone who wanted to step into the ring could correct him if he were wrong

the young man author this was written about couldnt possibly have known who he was

    terrified by the threat of a homosexual encounter

more terrifying than the fear of being engulfed by a woman

                                                                        it may be

completely negligent completely uninterested in other boys teenagers men walked into a room half of it disappeared because they were male he was hopelessly attractedgobsmacked by girls teenagers women

    thus homosexuality neer had a chance a sliver a toehold

which isnt to say he couldnt or didnt appreciate such ardor  desire

                                                                          it may also be since utterly male-negligent

to be engulfed he hadnt ever considered the verb regarding women  he was now gaga                                                                                                             engulfed

butchering Elizabeth Barrett Brownings 43rd sonnet “Let me count the ways” he could be engulfed by a woman

    it is nice to be astonished

0008,  Sunday,  8  11. 25

1011,  Sunday