emptied his bladder
returning to bed he couldnt find the
proper spot or position to fall back to sleep
he fell a long time
before bottoming out
aware becauserandomly he hadnt put his cellphone turned off in his
desk drawer in the studio
as he readied to turn in his daughter called
he took her to bed
when they hungup he hunkered downBAM out like a light
downside of not falling asleep is
his brain spasms twistssquirms like a
late term chick inside an egg an once it
began percolating he was intrigued
phone in hand
he began texting restless brain
opines to himself
this morning he took a gander
texted six times last at 0436
one in particular tickled him
: : Id sleep with a gun under my pillow, but
since Im a restless sleeper I might shoot myself in the head
theyd find him Anyone find a
note?
Look
in my phone assholes
evenif he committed suicide he wouldnt
leave a note
keepem guessin though frankly theyd be very few an ofem most would let go
of that kite stringlet it flutter upanaway in short order
wouldnt think mediating suicide
was in anyones wheelhouse
one tried to breach
his well hed send it packinwasnt curious why someone suicided its
their life the one true thing human beings
have own to refuse coercion an all that others might
try to heap onem
wasnt curious
hopeful they didnt leave a mess
a sincere suicide decider deserves a
pill
a spy cyanide capsule
since theyre unable to cleanup after themselves
hes known a few
hurt his heart deeply
but they did what they needed to do for themselves
0253, Wednesday,
7 5. 25
1028, Wednesday
believe this episode was prompted by
reading a line by Ocean Vuong:
The dream of a relationship unencumbered by reality is a dream of a poem
unencumbered by prose.
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