troglodyte a prehistoric cave dweller 

                                       troglodyta  Latin  from Greek troglodutes  influenced by troglos  cave  and

-dutai  those who enter 

that looked back at him from a mirror 

he couldnt fool himself 

                     nor could he abide himself if anyone was fooled eitherhe was Johnny-on-the-spot to correct them

he left Distillation on top inside the cigarbox that he told his kids they could go into after he died

no sooner

he left it out in the open inside his studio

he caught them occasionally standing before it  asif paying homage

                                                                        he embarrassed them  In due time

 

DISTILLATION

I say what I think and having said I think of it no longer I evacuate to make room for more My brain like my bowels and bladder and lungs I empty to refill to empty again filling and emptying again and on until that time when death will finally quietly empty me completely a warm grateful squeeze and spasm where in my bed on a floor or into the earth will weep the vestiges of what I had been

I will sorely miss being unable to sit or kneel in my stuff like a small curious child to sort or pull through it discovering its trembling treasures its funk and fuck In it are my bright happinesses my ugly horrors 

Hopefully my children can look maybe they can smell the fragrances in the odor or find feel the beautiful stones in the surly muck MAYBE  if their eyes dont betray them or their nerves not be faint 

I was not a part  not a cog or gear

                                     I was a thing in the bubble of its own atmosphere formed with the slime of its body – inflated with its gases and breath

  

0037,  Saturday,  20 7. 91

1420,  Saturday,  3  7. 21