appleseed

 

under flickering yellowlashes candlelight soaking in the tub he looked up kittycorner to the corner above the basin cabinet and mirror 

                      there was a pitiful spiderweb he could scarcely make out the spider in it

he took a sip of his whisky then set it down on the tubs edge over his left shoulder he held the liquor in his mouth mused  before he swallowed

                                  he mused that it had been four years since a spider attempted suicidehiding in his bathwashed towards the drain

appleseed had tried three times in just over a month

she was huge

her web in the same corner was fastidious

he cleanedup the countertop the desiccated deftlywrapped insectcorpses he gently swept them into a small dustpan and laid their bodies outside in the poppy planters maybe someone one day would accord him the same respect  it shouldnt be hard to respect an extinguished life

yaaintnoappleseed after appleseed disappeared squatted in her web  

he attempted suicide once

                           but appleseed had prepared him no suicides on his watch

he again proved nibble shutdown the waterdammed the wash to the drain with his handsaved him

appleseed proved stalwart after her attempts hed take the stepstool and standing on it he blew into her web shed rush fearsomely out of the corner at his face  then heel 

theyd converse 

rather he talked to her

                         it wasnt until he said goodnight or goodday and stepped down off the stool that she retreated

the evenings when his illness reduced him to crawling out of the tub shed come to the edge of the web  he either hadnt the strength to coordinate to squat to stand or couldnt endure the pain in his wrists and hands to push himself up

so he crawled out of the tub 

maybe his crawling made she suspect he was a big spider

 

when she disappeared the last time he realised her grace

                                                              by disappearing she didnt let him confront her dead body on the countertop 

which would have crushed him 

given his healthhis state of mind

  appleseed had been his companion for more than a year 

                                                              it didnt strike him odd to say that he loved her

1230,  Twosday,  6  7. 21

1322,  Reggae Friday,  9  7. 21

Doors  Love Her Madly  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iqfXaGliq8

wouldnt it be wonderful to disappear rather than die