20.4.21

 

he was so cocksurelaying down in bed to go to sleep that hed remember in the morning what he was visualising right then                                                                                                                              it was so rarified how could he possibly forget


he laid there he let the image roamNah roam wasnt correct  there was no room to roamnot in that showerstall in that tiny bathroom in that Kalispell motel 
                                       Fuck me just imagining the confinesthe cheap laminatepaneled partitionwalls the slick steamsweat on them pukegreen coloured turdtan patches functionalnot aesthetic made him claustrophobic and claustrophobic warned himbecause he wasnt he had better get the image down before he went to sleep because his sleep may decide Fuck you, buddy, ain’t holding your hand through that again, you’re on your own, cowboy.

Anfuck you I aint nobodys cowboy


he and cowboys didnt mixed 

oil and water

hed walk into a bar theyd walk in they seemed to smell each other 
                                                                      cowboys liked their boots prided themselves on the skins they wore on their feet they really liked them because knocking him off his feet they could kick and stomp him like prissy lil girls  hard soles hard heels 
                                        they rode horseshorses? whores? they liked to rideliked to be on top they rode because nobody could walk very far in those highheel leathertooled boots

they may have figured they could take him down quicklike   

but his melon was all bone

too bad his skin split as easily as it did 
                                          thoughto be sure it certainly encouraged them all that blood Man they thought hes goindown gonnabe an easy fight

he rope-a-doped without ropes Ali informed 

they became brazen

came in too closetoo fast
                       a right from up off the floor to the jaw a wicked left hook if it wasnt starslights out they were suddenly a spider on its back legs arms goin no floorno web then crabbingup coveringup 

he wouldnt kick or stomp a man while he was down 

if they were comfortable on their back they didnt have to get up hed let them lay

he was mighty grateful cowboys didnt gang up not usually  anif so thats why he wore softsole shoes he could scamper away like a pronghorn
                        anwhile he often felt like taking on the world
he wasnt stupid

a bar full of Indians once upon a time cured him of that notion as a teenager in a Wisconsin reservation tavern 


he digressed

 

a small part of him thought he wouldnt parlay the image through the night and remember it in the morning

a small part

then he concededhe preferred concurring but none of his apes from their corners or outside peering in through keyholes dare say it first

useless beasts they shaddup   othertimes he couldnt shaddemup 


he conceded

he reached onto the wood feedtrough standing on end beside the bed and took his cellphone in hand

he texted himself

he felt like he was cheating

an ape at the back of his skull bouncing lackluster bored up and down on his neocortex cautioned him to suck it up without saying a word 
                       mental telepathy frisson he had that going on with those mooks but again when they wanted currently just rooming inside his headstanding around  staring like watching a outrageous stripper who took their breath away or an inept novice wouldnt be cool to laugh at her unchoreographed uninspiring performance  stripping is an artform

he texted himself  :  :  2 fat naked cowgirls – now the apes speak: They ain’t fat, they’re big girls, they grow ‘em big in Montana. They’re from hardy stock. apes ought to know  he considered it for a damaged heartbeat -- Hardly boys  Theyre fat gals  
     2 fat naked cowgirls in a cheap motel showerstall . . hadnt a fucking clue how they fit . .  he looked on the floor for a shoehorn or an empty plastic bottle of lubricant . .smelled vaguely of cocoanut oil  momentarily he was tempted pina colada .  . but so  much   naked    flesh  he couldnt distinguish between themwhere one began and the other ended . . reminded him of oldtime pranks at different colleges where they tried to set state or national records for packing co-eds in a telephone booth

the gals werent appealing

 

when he woke later in the morning he didnt remember

he did remember sending himself a text

OhShit yes  Now I remember

crazy that he thought he would unaided 
                                           though he could admit it in the light of day

0209,  Monday,  19  4. 21
345 or 1545,  Monday,  19  4. 21
Rag’n’Bone Man & Pink  Anywhere Away from Here  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilut9TzMfXs 
Pink & Willow Sage Hart  Cover Me I Sunshine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvThENUScnw

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