he was listening to jazz on KCBX no hes not a member yes shame on him
he could think more clearly if jazz played behind him
no
words although he could think if he was
listening to vocalists who sang in Spanish or French or any language other than
English their voices were music
he may not know what
they were singing but he could relate to their soundemotion
his back was still iffy
his
orthopaedic tweaked him Oh, that wasn’t
good. Yahdoc should have felt it on my side
he
was still coming off job sites unable to make a full day anthen he could fucking back couldnt make up its mind
its mind
his mind
man he
was treading watertryin to keep his head up
his uncle died in five weeks from
pancreatic cancer his Mom was losing her
mindhe was her baby brother they were very
close all their lives
his daughter lost her grip on the
unevens landed on her faceher body fell
over her head then her head snapped out
from under her body ambulance medics stablised her for C-Spine before
moving her MRIed then CT scanned ducked a bullet
he wasnt one for gymnastics his feet left the floor he hadnt a clue where
he washe was lost she was utterly consciousKNEW loved it though he and his wife did dose her copiously with Mary Lou Retton
his best buddy Bobby had surgery
for esophageal cancer
afterwards out of recovery his doctor visited him to tell him to put his
house in order the cancer had infected his
lymph nodes It’s only a matter of time.
FUCK
Everything up anoff my back
maybe when children are born physicians
ought to tell their parents It’s just a
matter of time.
set expectations
Bobby neverever caught a breakNever
he was livid he was . . struggling
adamantly reading he found what he was evidently looking for tohu va’vohu Hebrew
present at Creation chaos desolation
cabalists interpret it as the raw material for Creation Latin creatio
ex nihilo creation from nothing then returning to nothingness? “In the beginning, (Gawd) created the Heavens
and the Earth. And the Earth was Tohu va’vohu and darkness was on the face of
the deep . .”
Order emerges from
Chaos tohu va’vohu is untranslatable the initial state of the Universe Multiverse
is unknowable comforting
he put his encyclopaedias awayhis
books away
he went into their bedroom and pulled
a white tshirt from his drawer
with a black Magic marker he
wrote across it IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.
felt fitting
made him feel better
weight shifted
he felt lighter
2340, Monday,
3 5. 93
1303, Reggae Friday, 30 4.
21
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