the shit he wandered into when he read the dictionary

intinction 

           he immediately thinks tincturehes wrong hes okay being wrong hed been wrong more often that he was right  his object was not to be afraid of being wrong  in school he saw all those hands suffer by not going upby being ashamed they might be wrong he threw his up WRONGawright he learned by being wrong his problem may have been by throwing his hand up too quicklyhis classmates anticipating him that they let him wallow publicly which saved them from their errors he figured they debased themselves quietly in their own minds ANYONE ELSE? the teacher would ask if she was looking for another sacrifice GOD FORBID SHE SHOULD CALL ON ONE  then correcting him usuallymajoritively there was an unmistakable communicable sigh that blew up behind him he could feel it on the back of his ears he always sat at the front of the class if he didnt in his head he was likely to flee the confines of the classroom astral projection pull a Jack London Star Rover he bet he could if anyone could  when other kids were reading Charlotte’s Web he untangled himself and used her web as a slingshot   he read Charlotte long ago

intinction 

          he wasnt too far afield it was the Eucharist the host dipped TINCTURE in consecrated wine a wine which didnt give him anymore a head than other wines did – hedve figured sneaking into Church chugging their wine crossing the priesthood The Three Stooges The Father Son and Holy Ghost that it should have been a mindblowing experience -- NADA 

       intinction therefore was like a cop dunking his donut at a local diner or coffee shop 

he supposed at a young age his persona was fixed

persona 

         Latin mask  the role a person assumes to display his conscious intentions to himself and others

Nin wrote in her diary Anais Nin her preference the portrait of the subconscious self rather than the persona offered to the world

she was wrong 

                she wrote in her exhaustive diary amassed over nearly fifty years that it was the place where she could write her anger rage jealousy write of her demons openly honestly without fearing criticism not fearing NO

where she could expose her dreams

she was wrong

                writing a diary is not writing openly  honestly

he felt badly that she didnt embrace her separateness overtly  her individuality originality

he exposed himselfhe said things others preferred he did not

he didnt do it for shock

he did it to be honest 

                     anif someone thoughtand there were occasions that what he said was revelatory he smiled See revelations neednt come from God or gods or saints a broken-toothed gutter rat wearing sour clothing could make a revelation 

            so be it 

he was honest

                a divulger  dis -- abroad broadcast perhaps  vulgare make common make public publish

a divulsioner   tearing apart  violently separating

 

its all there

open a dictionary  read 

1101,  Twosday,  4  2. 21

1052,  Twosday,  23  3. 21