Not Ever

she had no time to herself

while she was conscious

she was watched

while she slept

she was watched

she had been a private woman

now she had no privacy

to urinate or defecate

she was watched

if they werent watchingused the bathroom themselves

while she catnapped

if she woke alone

she panicked

she rang a doorbell with her toe that they installed on her bed

because she couldnt cry out

she couldnt talk

she didnt have the use of her arms

she was helpless
                   as a newborn babe  with forty years of living in her head

she knew what they knew

she – perhaps – feared what they feared

theyd never truly know her fear

he could only speak for himself

he was with her when she drew her first breath

he feared – terribly – her last breath

                                       but he had no choice
he did not

he never ever imagined these circumstances

                                                 not ever

she was breaking his heart

taking pieces with her

not ever to return

0255,  Thursday,  20  2. 20
1954,  Twosday,  25  8. 20