he tried real hard not to let people get under his skinhed get ugly when they did  damn near as ugly as he was one time when he became jealousrealised he was and then saw the piece of shit glaring back at him in a barroom mirror 

he didnt want to see that again

but jealousy is a different animal  a different creature than when someone got under his skin  like a tick or a leech  a fucking parasite

trying to feed on him

asif hed let them 

Let it go. Let it go. 

                   in the back of his head he heard his mothers voice from when he was a boy  heard her when he came home beat up again by an older boy

What was this fight about?

Same thing About me being a polack

You are Polish.

Yah well they say theres no difference between a polack and a nigger a polack is just a nigger turned inside out

My God, that’s plain ignorant. Don’t mind them, I’m afraid they’re products of their boorish mistaken home life. Try and see if you can treat their insult as if it were a bad joke. Groan, then laugh. If you can laugh at it you’ll disarm them, you make them miserable because they’re not getting a rise out of you.

                                                                      Boy, you’re gonna have to contend with ignorant people all your life, so don’t let them make you fight, try to let it run off you like water off a duck’s back.

But its not funny  When can I quit laughing

When you get older, when you get bigger, and when you’re bigger it’ll stop, and if it doesn’t then you’ll know, you’ll know the time has come when you won’ t pull back, and likely you’ll benefit from the use of that pent up disgust.

it was weird to have her counsel him not to fight but laugh and then not laugh but fight

he figured she was just trying to save his life

the beatings were becoming more savage

the laughter might be a holding ploy

his cousin was teaching him how to boxto use his fists  I’m not teaching you to defend yourself. I’m teaching you how to stand up and knock the shit out of someone. They go down, you let them decide if they want to stand up again. They don’t, fight’s over.

fighting changed by the time he was in high school

that got under his skin

his cousin helped him curtail the time that his mother counseled him to wait until he was bigger

that helped so fewer tried to get under his skin

then he moved out of the city

moved out of the state

he was unknown

although he thought it was fair to always to say

                                                   Hey yadon wanna get under my skin 

Trust me

he made it evident where he stood

then at least the ball was in their court and thoroughly up to themtheir decision

life was so much easier

                         for him

2241,  Sunday,  22  11. 20

1234,  Monday,  23  11. 20