today was his mothers wake

he wasnt going to make it

she would understand

thats all that mattered

he wrote a piece that his brother was supposed to read on his behalf

his brother wasnt able to complete ithe couldnt contain himself
                                                                  so his wife read it

he would have preferred another sibling had but they didnt think of that
                                                                             so instead a woman whod only known his mother three years spoke for him

he was her eldest child                                 

his siblings had better been grateful he didnt show

he made a commitment months prior

he was a man of his word
                            his mother knew of it she was a woman of her word

his word was ironclad
                        unrelenting

once he set his mind nothingNOTHING  could make him revise it

there is comfort in that
                         it comforted him that he wasnt able to make her wake or funereal

a discomfort too
                 some family relatives friends took his absence to mean something other asif they had their finger on the pulse of his relationship with his parents

                                           his not attending undermining him  asif it said something he never thought or said and somehow also related to the carte blanche others helped themselves to and believedtripping over each other to confide in him  thinking he held them in confidence

he did not
            nor did he betray the confidences summarily dumped in his lap

when guns were swung in his direction accusations were made he abruptly reminded them he made no solicitations they divulged what they had of their own free will

as he upheld commitments he made he also held their confidence

If you prefer  if you doubt   dont talk to me again

ironclad

2257,  Friday,  13  3. 20

1523,  Saturday,  5  9. 20