he wondered how long hed been doing it mebbe innarested knowing since when since there was no end in sight 

he was good at doing things without knowing when they would end

he didnt look up head down
                                head down also applies to what happened before

he could probably backtrack – if he had time – who has that time – if he went through the reams of pages and notes  through the times days months years laid one on top the other like a perverse calendar
                                                                                            single leaf multiple leaves
stacks clutches side by sidemebbe three feet high on the long wall behind him

an exgirlfriend didnt attack him in anger
                                         she hit him below the beltdidnt women know that wasnt cool 

she strewn the pilesscattered them helter-skelter  

he didnt have time to shuffle the pages in order again

she said
          Just be happy I didnt burn ‘em.

an ex because she cheated on him  she thought he was cheating on her

like he ever had that kind of time or want

mebbe she forgot or wasnt listening when he told hershowed her repeatedly  he acted out of need   not want

You’re not ambitious.

Cheatings ambitious

Just be happy I didn’t burn them.

Had you Idve fingered you for it  an never look back

he tried not to let the turmoil bother him

he didnt need help creating disorder if thats what he wanted
                                                                 he didnt want

his book were similar stacked

he used clean typewriter paper folded in half to mark the page where he stopped

the paper was in case he found a passage he couldnt let go of
                                                                  he either made a notation what pagewhat paragraph or scribbled the words that inflamed him

hed use the compelling words then added his two cents always crediting the writer

every book he collected provoked him addled him

it was edifying the more he knew the less he knew

the books were gospel they were as necessary to him as was breathing eating urinating defecating
                                                                                                         none he did absently he tried always to be invested in the moment

when he revealed that in conversation he explained that if he genuinely appreciated his food and drink how could he pass without appreciating it again

he loved to shit just not after he showeredFuckno

No 
       he wouldnt look uplook ahead

he was going to be grateful for what he hadwhat would come

                                                                        unexpectedly

2109,  Monday,  17  2. 20

1639,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  8. 20

Joe Henderson  Chelsea Bridge  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mL-KEK_aY8