he sat down next to a man on a bus

the seat was empty as were most on the bus it was late  

since it was a public bus he didnt ask

                                         he sat

he usually chose to sit beside the most colourful charactersthe ones who thought perhaps that by their dress or behaviour theyd keep an entire bench to themselves

he liked to rain on singular parades

as he walked up on the man weaving between passengers who preferred to stand he tried to make eye contact

the mans eyes started up briefly then fell

the man blinked

to blink to be submissive not that it mattered to him 

                                                        he sat

Excuse me. I’m sitting here.

Yes  An Im sitting beside you

I’M SITTING HERE. asif talking louder would removeexcise him

You are . . an youre welcome to half the bench  No more Keep to your half its a public bus

Move.  I’M sitting here.

You are  an now Im sitting beside you 

You should move.

he took a paperback from his jacket pocket ignoring his comment I like to read on the bus Its soothing

You better move.

                  he still hadnt looked at him he reclinedleaned against the window at his right refusing to move his legs sitting on his hip bent knees his shoeshis soles nearly on his hip

Me I like to read undisturbed But I dont worry about my clothes get messed upwhich apparently appeals to you as well But I do careone might say I care  enthusiastically I have unbridled enthusiasm . a happy assessment . . a passion . for my enthusiasm

You enthusiastic

Are you enthusiastic

the man titled his headsmirked casually still he hadnt made eye contact ignored him said nothing to his enthusiasm query

he didnt know anyone who liked to be ignored  so he bellied up to the bar sitting down heartily beside his ignorant slovenly buddy  enthusiasm sat happily on the stool next to him  he always saved a stool at the bar for his enthusiasm

he sighed he acted disheartenedhe acted asif he was standing to leave Slovenly might think to leave he stood just enough for leverage then lunged-clasped the man by the back of his knee nearest the seatback and yanked him bodily so that his face smeared down the bus window giving it a big wet kiss

                                                                   he may have been too enthusiastic the torque spun Slovenlyspun him so that his French kiss came off the glass and ended with him on his knees in the aisle his forehead on the seatback

he hunched over him and said in a fierce whisper Thank you kindly Hospitable of you to share the bench

he said something in reply but it was lost in the vinyl seatback 

Slovenly made quite the picture likely hed hang it in his minds eye a bit for a while he needed distraction in the worst way Slovenly briefly usurped the image he was trying to shake

                                                                    the image of his daughter ill inclined in a hospital bed in her sunroom behind her were the spines of her collected books on a walled built-in bookcase

she had been sleepingwhen she could upright for better than six months

she was burned into his eyes

Slovenly pushed himself up off his knees off the bench and stood

                                                                     You motherfucker! he stood over him threateningly

he raised his eyes to Slovenlys  he didnt care for what he saw

YOU . . then Slovenly stoppedcut himself short maybe he didnt like what he saw either -- his crippling – reflecting in the pools of what were surely deep black eyes

he pushed past him roughly and sprawled in a bench several seats ahead

he recognised he provoked him

he also recognised had violence been incurred win or lose  it would not soothe his anger or his sorrow

he recognised the hole in himself

a hole never to be filled

he had other holes

you live you do

he just had no idea it would be as deep as it is

                                                   the deepest blackest hole in his life

1910,  Saturday,  1  2. 20

1202,  Monday,  20  7. 20