they were having a riproaring time stoned caffeinated now sipping beer on the backporch and eating wasabi rice crackers  broken sunlight coming through the crown of an enormous live oak

It occurred to me I was talking with my brother my earliest memories are associated with pain my first memory before I was two I wasnt even walking yet I fell out of bed and split my chin on its illfitting metal frame I laid on my back on the hardwood floor I could feel my blood warm oozing on my chestdown the sides of my neck  

Jesus.

That was nothing compared to the doctor stitching it closed No painkillers My father wrapped one arm around my bodyholding me real tight With his free hand he held the top of my head pulling it back jutting my chin so the doctor could stitch it I still remember his sleep-rheumy eyes his bad breath as he breathed in my face Nine stitches Of course

Of course?

Nines my favorite number It might have started right then and there My lucky number nine

Before you were two? You can remember before you were two?

I asked my folks Asking made my Dad uncomfortable Why would you remember that, Joe? my Dad askedhas asked every time I bring it up I dont bring it up much not no more its been confirmed I use my parents to confirm my early memories to be sure I wasnt making them up or dreamed them

Theyre memories

Fixed by pain

An you

Memories?

Yes

My earliest memories?

Yes

School. First, probably second grade.

Not kindergarten

Definitely not kindergarten.

Mrs Shot Older Short hair Silver Mrs Shot was my kindergarten teacher

You remember your kindergarten teacher’s name. That’s nuts.

Long memory Teed up by pain

What was it you remember from first grade

I think it was second.

Second

Yeah.

Werent we seven in second grade

Six, then seven. I turned eighteen February of my senior year, before graduating.

Okay  So six

Closer to seven.

What

My brother, a year younger than me, broke a window while we were playing catch at a neighbor’s. We lied. We said it wasn’t us.

Did you say it was someone else

Never occurred to us. We felt like criminals.

And

And we were seen. And the hardball had my name on it. We had to replace the window, pay for it.

And

That’s it. Me and my brother disappointed my Dad.

You didnt get a strap across your fanny for lying

No. He told us he was deeply disappointed.

No strap belt hand No real punishment

We disappointed my Dad.

Man thats gettin off easy

It didn’t feel easy.

Thats gettin off easy

What did your brother say about his memories, his earliest memory?

He said it was when he wondered who the hell I was I wasnt Thensuddenly I was Which I understood Were not a year apartso much for the break women are provided now sex after childbirth  doctors orders

You were his earliest memory?

Yah Hes always believed he was born first but he walked before I did I remember ballingcrying when my ball got away from me a goofy clown ball like a clowns head I made such a stink I think I compelled him to get up walk an fetch it for me so Id shaddup

Jeez, that’s remarkable.

Yah That put his first memory around a year old He says thats his earliestbut he couldnt say what his next memory might have been

Actually  thinking  before the split chin I split my eyebrow My grandparents babysat me and I pulled an end table over on top me I took its corner above my left eye

Got my left hand slammed in the car door at three I was in the back seat We were going to a drive-in I was dressed in my pajamas

Fell down the tall wood front porch steps and broke my arm

I thought kids were supposed to be bendy

I wasnt

Jesus.

And then the hit parade just kept coming

Man, oh, man.

Ready for another beer

Yeah.

Im still pretty stoned

Nice shit, huh?

Yah Thank you for sharing

reaching across his brotherinlaw for the beer bottle his brotherinlaw said What the hells that?

What

Top of your right hand.

a pale white circular scar

That

That’s a scar?

Yup

From what? Curious location, between your index and the next finger.

I got shot with a nailgun Youll remember I dont like nailguns Not when yagot a hammer

You shot you?

No I dont like nailguns I was accidentally shot by a carpenter I was paired with Muthafucker loved nailguns But he would he was a lazy bastard Redhead bushy red moustache He was usually drunk by three

I didnt wanna work with im

I wasnt asked if I would

I was told

Two man job

I was holding sticks for a skylight descending into the diningroom

He hit a knot knot deflected the nail Started bleeding all over like a stuck pig

I made it to a MedStop by myself

You drove yourself?

Evidently nobody could be spared Actually I wasnt spared until I couldnt stop the bleeding

Made a mess of my steering wheel and front seat

At the MedStop the doc determined I was shot through the hand

he rolled his hand over and showed his brotherinlaw the exit scar in his palm Nuts huh

And you didn’t fuck up your hand?

Nope Doc said he couldnt believe He probed it Clean through Slick as a whistle

when he returned with fresh cold bottles of beerhanded one to his brotherinlaw he said  I hated working with idiots  Good carpenters Fucking idiots

Could you imagine these clowns around you with a power drill  

With my luck working with one hed stick me in the head with a spinning bit an Id have to arrest drillgun with one handelbow him hard in the face so hed let go Hafta leave the drillbit in my headhold the gun up cuz likely they wouldnt have sense to reverse it if they were to try to back it out

JESUS! What a fucking thought!

YahHa Pith me once shame on you pith me twice shame on me

Oh fuck!

Tellin ya man Im really stoned

1643,  Friday,  29  5. 20

1142,  Reggae Friday,  5  6. 20