there comes a time when I dont care equates to fearlessness

a kind of fearlessness hed seen in fightsin their eyes and for it he didnt stop beating them until he was pulled off

the simple fact of the matter he didnt know where their I dont care might take them and he was damn sure their uncaring wasnt going to interrupt what he cared about

might be a cold way to relate

                               unless youve seen it

he hadnt seen it in awhile

then he saw it again

it was as grotesque as he remembered

he saw it looking back at him in the mirror as he shavedthe grimace the cruelty  an exquisite efficient cruelty  if it wasnt beat down
                   Whawas he thinkin

If it wasnt beat to death

there was nothing he had to lose

when you have nothing to lose youre formidable

                                                  youre a freak

he remembered his fatherinlaw the only time he askedhe said he wouldnt ask but this once When were you most afraid during the war

When I saw a kamikaze smash into one of our destroyer at Iwo Jima. Then I knew we were fighting an enemy who wasn't afraid to die.

Liberatinghuh? he musedhis fatherinlaw looked through him The Japs werent afraid to die.

That was horrifying.

Horrifying

Yah

more horrifying to see it in his own reflection

but then maybe it manifested itself at exactly the right time

times were ugly

                  it was a good time to be fearlessnessto have nothing to lose

he was happy those he loved were deadhappy they wouldnt have to see it in his eyes

ice  cold  comfort

2244, Thursday, 18  6. 20