9:54 

that is a real nice time of the night

he usually didnt write it suchusually in military time 24-hour clock  the military does that to simplify time for simple soldiers theyre okay as long as they can count 0 to 23 and to 59

he dug the time this evening because if he twisted it numerologically  added 9 plus 5 plus 4 equals 18  and 1 plus 8 equals 9   9  his end numberhis lucky number  9 means humane and altruistic 

which was very much who he was

military time itd be 2154 hed end up with 3  Hmm 3-squared  9  thats something  still  what did 3 mean Ah creative self-expression encouraging others to be creative  optimist  socialNAH

                                                                             hed stick with 9

at 9:54 in his prior lifebefore things went off the rails it was bedding time  NOT bedtime

his girlfriend was a profound bonbon meaning everything inside her head was equal to her superlative body and face

people fixated on her beauty and said thats why he was seeing her they were perplexed angry when he put them in their placewhen he told them they were superficial Sigh beauty is only skin deep  if she didnt have going on inside her head what she did likely he wouldnt have seen her a third time

he met wholly attractive women who were dumb as sticks

                                                                he didnt fetch

his girlfriend was extraordinary

she was considerably younger than he

he would have been happy just being her friend 

she asked him out  

he said yes but not too fast

9:54

bedding time a staple of their healthy relationship

he liked lying beside her in bed as she talked with her mom as she said goodnight

he loved her caring  her astute thoughtfulness

hed nuzzled her while she spoke  a little game they played  shed give him the eyesthe unsaid STOP IT but her grinning belied it

          she was so beautiful he tried to imagine her as a young girl then he didnt he didnt think there were laws for thought pedophilia but he wasnt sure

                                       she hit stride when she was very young as he did his mother said he was

though likely he was compelled by his younger siblings who always seemed to need one thing or another  or maybe they played the game deeper than he had patience to

Good night, Mom. I love you. We’ll talk tomorrow night. I love you very much. she hung up the telephone and set it on the stool above her head they slept on blankets on the floor he had back problems and hadnt met an extra firm mattress that didnt fuck with him

                           Besides he said explaining it to her yadont have to wrong about gettin bucked off the bed

he was such a sweet talker

however  in the gathered darkness  missing her  nothing compared to her smilesthe lilt and assurance in her voice as she talked with her mother

it was as warm and coloured and beautifulsensual as an applewood fire in a rustic fireplace

2154,  Juneteenth – Friday,  19  6. 20

1159,  Saturday,  20  6. 20