What was that

he was shaving

he jerked what he didnt hearheard made him nick his throat

he didnt bother with the woundthe blood Whawazat he set his razor down left of the hot water porcelain knob  he stepped into the hall What was that he calledhe knew his wife was in the livingroom 

she didnt answer

Hey What was that

she still didnt answer

he went up the hallbled on the runner over the hardwood floor

she was sitting on the sofa her back to him

What was that baby

What did you do

she didnt acknowledge him

he walked left around the sofa arm and stepping before the slender coffee table littered with empty Diet Pepsi cans a circular tin tray of her medicinal brown vials and bottles he accused her What did you do

she raised her eyes to him asif he were dreamed

they shined

he couldnt see inside them

he couldnt see inside her huge brown eyes which turned people inside outmade them submit to her will

they didnt turn him

                     from the get-gotheir first date he acknowledged her eyes You might be able to make other people jump through hoops but I aint jumping If thats a gamebreaker say so  Im just being honest with you If we have a second third other dates youll learn this about me Im honest to a fault

he couldnt see into her eyes

Nothing. she replied I haven’t done anything.

he wanted to call her a liarhe wanted to ask her to swear it swear it on their childrens heads

she had never lied to him before

she never lied to him to save an argumentdisagreement of which they had many which all couples had to contend with 

he wouldnt have pulled back from a disagreement either

she often told him that his honesty verged on crueltyhe didnt spare her pain

That I should lie spare you the discomfort of being truthful

You could be gentler.

You could challenge me softer.

Im not challenging youwere in this together When I ask you for your thoughts theres nothing for you to be guarded against  Say how you feelwhat you think Be honest

eventually she was honest  forthcoming

she acted like he was going to punish her 

he wondered about her upbringing

but her motherwho he would trust was dead 

he wouldnt trust her father any further than he could throw him 

her father had agendas

children arent raised by agendas his adult children didnt have to respect his agendas but all his in-laws did

Fuck yer old man

That’s my father!

Youre an adult Hes your father in that you grew up in his house Aint living there no moreare you 

Respect runs two ways He doesnt respect you

He’s my father.

she never lied to him

You didnt do anything

I did not.

So Im hearing things

I don’t know what you heard; or thought you heard.

I dont either But it was something

Maybe it was nothing; it was nothing if you don’t know what you heard.

It was something

I didn’t hear what you heard, I didn’t hear it.

You didnt

I did not.

leaving the hospital  after a long night a long morning a long afternoon the onset of another long night

after she died

he understood she lied to him

0843, earlier,  Twosday,  1  10. 19

1604,  Saturday,  5  10. 19

Wings  My Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA9XLa2ARfs