3:17 on 3/18 of 2019

                       it was hard for him not to get caught up in numbersthey tickled him

his happy joke regarding them he admitted was when he discovered what 36 – 24 – 36 meant his fascination and attraction and abstraction multiplied significantlyexponentially an he learned what the figure meant before he learned in school that the number-line also had negative-numbers

1 plus -1 equaled zero

1 plus -3 equaled -2

1 plus -3 equaled -2 equaled debt  equaled an obligationan indebtedness

                                                                                possibly equaling I am in your debt

debt upset him

it as a leverage a cudgel

                           one could be owned if they incurred excessive debt

the number-line was terrifying

so as a boy he decided to try to remain to the right side of zero 

                                                                   an later reading Mario Puzos The Godfather he saw what an obligationwhat indebtedness might entail

an inability to refuseto say No

he said No often

most often he said No to himself quietly honestly quizzing himself if he needed it or wanted it

3:17,  Monday,  18  3. 19

1149,  Twoday,  19  3. 19