he sat in the sauna with the Intent to meditate  the Intent was illkept fat an slovenly(mutually exclusive)  for him meditationdespite the offputting Intent was to sit in the hotdark an let whatever would wash across his minddaub fingerpaint watercolour

let it have at it

All yours baby!

while walking over to the gym he may likely have sullied what would be his meditative process

he read a passage from DeLillos White Noise where Wilder the son tells his father Jack What do I know of what I want  What if what I want are just neurons firings randomly coursing between the hemispheres of my cortex  their brightheightened imaginings as they masturbate  that was his  Delillo couldnt have the masturbating

he sat on the cedar bench in the hotdark after stoking the thermostatkicking up the heat

he glared at the door

at the narrow pane of plexiglass set in it

then he snappedshut his eyes 

the pane followed him in

he wore it inside his eyes

it quivered like exhausted death  then changed from an upright rectangle of soft amberlight to a sharp defined harrowingblack

with very little effort he turned it on its side an on its side it shrink to the size of a censors slat that covered the eyes of once-upon-a-time nudes

he meditated

          was the black slat a censors job to mask the nudes identitythe nudes desire to remain anonymous  although he understood the nudes were exhibitionists  he didnt think an exhibitionist would want to be anonymous

or was the black slat legislated required(queered) to uphold the National prudery

he meditated

          how much he dug those black and white pictures  how the black slat seemed to add somethingseason its erotic appeal

it did create an complete anonymity to him

the eyes are the windows to the soul

snatch those eyes awayblack slat them he had no idea who a person was  it must be why celebrities wore sunglasses it wasnt the reason why carpenters wore sunglasses  they say they wore them to protected their eyes from nails sawdust  what they didnt say was that nobody could look inside them and see that when the opportunity presented itself they watched women undetected

he meditated

          he didnt like sunglasses

he didnt wear them

he wondered if hed wear black slats

Saturday afternoon,  30  12. 17

1241,  Sunday,  31  12. 17

Michael Stanley  A Friend and Nothing More  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX7lhumnsS8