Christ there she was!  tucked up in her usual corner over the basinexcept for the last two weeks    Appleseed  Where the hell ya been girl

he blew on her web as was his customary greeting for the whole of last year 

she was his stalwart while he agonized through whatever it was that assailed him  if to name  a bullshit RA his rheumatologist tried to horseshoe him into  but the doc was lousy salesmanhe hadnt listened to a word he said

he looked closer   

ah  her foraging cost her

she was missing two legs the two to the left of her head  he assumed unlike him she was rightlegged and hopefully not too badly minimised 

she was back! 

he mourned her

a lil Lazarus

the night before he showered

turning his a back on its head looking down he saw a small daddylonglegs struggling in the wash off the back of the tubSonofabitch  he averted the streamtwisting the showerheads neck  then making sure it was out of the wash he stepped out of the shower snatched a length of toilet paper off the roll then reentered  he gently placed it before the spiders drooping body and managing a delicate splash off his shoulder he coerced its body onto the moistened paper  captured  he stepped from the shower again and placed the spider on the paper in a shard of sunlight on the window ledge 

it didnt move

that didnt concern him

twice prior he had done the same for appleseed

he thwarted suicide attempts because he could

unfortunately  it seemed he was good at it 

hed saved twolegged earthlings too

unfortunately 

         only because later two went around him when he was absence and committed their choice

anyone who condemns suicide refuses to recognise a persons right to their life or nonlife our lives are the only things that we purely own

selfish

he wouldnt judgehe wasnt hadnt walked in their bootsendured what they endured 

theres no telling the limits anyone can withstand

and yes  he really felt very very sorry for himself that they wouldnt be in lifein his life anymore 

but that made him selfishdidnt it

didnt it

he dispensed with selfishness

its a human trait 

as greed was 

avarice   

mercenaries all

finishing his shower drying himself standing on the mat he looked over to the window and saw the spider prostrate  aimlessly wagging a couple of its legs 

mebbe life would take hold of it

mebbe hed save it again

mebbe itd allude him

theres no sure bets in life                                                                                                         

its a crapshoot

1534,  Thursday,  1  6. 17(fuck Drumpf)

1009,  Friday,  2  6. 17