Christ the rain was unremitting
he drove San Diego to
the Central Coasteight hours fiftythree minutes wiperwhipped
arrived home he was hungry
thirsty exhausted Slain the thirst first he poured himself a whiskey three
fingers bolted it the side to side wipers in his eyes faded a bit
he leaned into the refrigerator his
hand on top of it and grabbed a bottle of beer by its throat with a church key he had since was a teen
he uncapped it and took a long pull
he reached in and grabbed a
second beer and uncapped it too
with a beer in either hand he
went into the bathroom and began a warm shower
finishing the first beer he set it down on the stonetopped vanity lit a
candle for the balm of its light and scent undressed and entered the shower holding the second beer by its throat
with the spray on his back he took a sip then turning eyes closed spray
in his face he placed it on a ceramic shelf above the showerhead
he stood for a bit with the spray
pelting his face warmly massaging his eyelids easing bit by bit the black
shadows crossing his visionsyou cant see something for nine hours straight and
it not have a determined residue
the beer finished the shower complete he shutdown the water and pulled the shower curtain aside
he stood for a bit in the palliative
flickering light and breathe the raincooled fresh air coming in through the screened
window
he snatched a bath towel off a
hook beside the shower and pressed it to his face he massaged his eyes with cloaked fingers still the whip
then he dried his throat chest arms torso crotch his asshe stood on one foot
and dried his bent leg an footstepped out of the shower onto the matt and
balancing on it he dried his other leg an foot
then he stood twolegged threw the towel over his shoulder drying them worked his way down his back when he
finished he draped the towel over his shoulder closed his eyes and sighed deeply he luxuriated in the still of the bathroom
saw through closed eyelids the gentle massage of the candleflame breathed its
lavender scent the flame tossed about on
the quiet breaths blowing in by the breeze through pursed lips that would be a delicious mouth to
kiss his head
bowed hung from his neck by the weight of his exhaustion it would to have been
nice to have his Asian nurse who tended him after his shoulder surgery who
bathed and massaged him smiled teasingly when she told him she cared for
all her patients alike Oh bullshit he said she didnt decline she never said
she simply warmly smiled and her smile was as much a balm as her hands
he felt like a child naïve and curious at their arousal the heat emanating from their loins he was exhausted
he felt like a child naïve and curious at their arousal the heat emanating from their loins he was exhausted
he had no idea how many times he sighed but with a last sigh he lifted his head and lifted it back so when he opened his eyes hed be looking up at the ceiling and see the candlelight making images there painting it with its deft fingers and tongue painting it with yellow light
he opened his eyes
he admired the lightfashionings though they were too quick for him to actually see akin to hypnagogiato hallucinationsto ignorant eyes not able to see the future cast by bones and in this odd reverie his eyes slipped away from the lightning show and he looked into the corner to the left of the basin where appleseed sat suspended in her web
she wasnt there
he gasped out loudChrist where was shetwice now hed saved her from suicidefrom washing herself down the shower drainhad he fucked up missed seeing herwas she swept down the draindown the drain like bugshe was too late to save him Fuck fuckFUCK
he gasped out loudChrist where was shetwice now hed saved her from suicidefrom washing herself down the shower drainhad he fucked up missed seeing herwas she swept down the draindown the drain like bugshe was too late to save him Fuck fuckFUCK
he panickedhe stepped forward quickly to better examine the webthrew on the overhead lighthe went out from under the towel on his shoulder and damp it fell heavier than otherwise it sounded like a sob
her web was emptyFuck he barked
he searched the shower though knew that was hopelessridiculous though he was clinging hope against hopefuck
and when it seemed the iron was
about to go out of his legsutterly defeated he looked
up at the ceiling again above
the door jamb appleseed sat
Jesus Christ grrl he croaked You gave me a fright
very carefully he placed a maple stool he kept in the bathroom before to the door opening and blew on her to chase her back to her web in the corner
very carefully he placed a maple stool he kept in the bathroom before to the door opening and blew on her to chase her back to her web in the corner
when she was ensconced againagitated at his breathsactually bouncing in her web he stopped blowing on her
he very nearly burst into tears
he stepped down off the stool returned it to its place snatched the empty beer bottle from the shelf above the showerhead and made for the kitchen where he poured himself another three fingers and sipped at it
he sipped as he made a cold meatloaf sandwich tomato and onion slices a bowl beside it of cold edamame to shell
he went to sit down on the livingroom couch but needed to see confirm that appleseed was in her web
she was
he moved the candle into the livingroom and ate under the muted sound of the rain falling on the roof
he was fucking exhausted
Twosday
afternoon, 7 2. 17
0928, Thursday,
9 2. 17
1441 days or fewer
to go
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