7.2.17







whenever Free Fallin blindsides himsneaks up on him over a P A or a wandering radio it nearly turns him inside outfucks him up for the pain he has to catch his breath with both claws so it cant rise out of his chest crawl into his throat and choke him  make him croak and sob

it had for nearly 20 years


when Free Fallin caught him he had to consciously sidestep it pull it by its tail and yank it back down inside him stuff it with a blunt ramrod let it loose in the dark labyrinth living inside him  he snatched away the ball of yarn it tried to secret to use to find its way out again  savagely he crossed his fingers hoping that the hoary Minotaur would find it and unmercifully render it limb from limb so its flung parts could not find one another again and reassemble his heartache
and heartbreak





                                                                              two times now


when you are young and believe you have found your great loveyour one love   and then you are forced to survive her bitter deathbecause you do not die  you do not believe it is possibleit is fantasy that you might find a second great love
a second impermeable love who flies on what you mistook as waxed Daedalus wings because she could not possibly withstand the bright hot sun of your first loves memory  only to realise that her wings are true  and real  and not intricate fabrications   you gasp    you weep     who should have a second chance at love
certainly not you

but you did

you want to write their names in the sky


your second great love dies


                                              gonna free fall out into nothing

                                                             gonna leave this world for awhile


they were good girls

they freely shared their lives with you  and now you have only their fierce memories to hold(you want to hold them) and share(you want to share only with them)                                

they are true and real

                 as true and real as your heart becomes heavy  as it aches and breaks and always always catches you unprepared



you free fall(no one can catch you)
 



1910,  Saturday,  4  2. 17
0603,  Sunday,  5  2. 17

1443 days remain or fewer

Johnny Cash  I Wont Back Down  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8i5NLyXZdc

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