1452 days remain or fewer

                                                                                                                     equivocate

                     hed been looking for that word for the past two days

he must have been blinded by the bright electric lights that failed when the cold blowing rainstorm gutted them

                  because he found it in the candlelight lighting small yellow pools on his diningroom table

the electricity was out since 4 in the morning

it was after 11 in the evening

maybe to see it he needed subtle light

maybe the beer the Irish whiskey maybe the deafening silence of solitude

it gets a bad rap

you get knocked if you enjoy itHow?  How with all the bright captivating distractions around us . . . You have to admit youre a bit suspect if youre not joining in with us playing all these wonderful games

he didnt need no electricity to find solitude

although he didnt need it to find equivocate

and found  he detested the word in this mouth quickly spat it out took a sip of Irish and swished it around an around to quell the taint its vile taste

now he only thought it  equivocate   then he thought euphemism piss

some words taste like they sound when you said them  he hawked them violently discharged them where otherwise they fettered and littered his mouth

he expelled them exorcised themWAIT!  he wasnt religious  maybe hed buy an icon for thee moment   and expurgated freed  hed take the medallion away of course on church grounds or in a cemetery where breasts clutched heads bowed their hands could be filled with clothing and the impress of iconic metal

equivocate   euphemism   piss           these were words of malcontents

and there was plenty of pain to go around rather than listen to and harbor their words and ideas

they were Businessmen

who believed their phony words and wares(if they didnt they couldnt sell it)

they shat gold

and because everything was on the cheapeverything a copya knockoff  the rare genuine thing would be suspect

euphemism piss equivocation scalded the mouth and burned the hands so that nothing could truly be discerned  tasted   felt    ably manipulated

and sensuality passé  who wouldnt quaff and gobble greedily consume whatever they could get their hands on and then were confused when their bellys ached when they fell ill and vomited bent on all four

Consuming

he wasnt good at it

his consumption began and ended with fresh meat and fish and vegetables

his mother chided him that in this day and age he still hadnt a microwaveShove it up yer ass Maw  and then he imagined if she didnt like it up the ass

his consumption began and ended with straight spirits craft beers grass hashish 

Eat and Swallow and Shit

Drink and Swallow and Urinate

Inhale awhell Exhale  and Breathe

such was his consumptionnutrition to feed his body support his mind  not the surly vagrants and bullies of the car he owned the clothes and shoes he wore 

not his fucking cellfone teeming relentless social media twitter-feed     feed? like cattle and sheep and chickens for the slaughter

the slaughter

its victim? its survivor?

2208,  Sunday,  22  1. 17

1515,  Twosday,  24  1. 17

0941,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  25  1. 17