ordinarily
he wasnt a proponent of daily
affirmations
although he did affirm every day
of his life was filled with small detailed wonders and he hunted them with a
hawks eye
he had grrlfriends(had) family
members relations whose bathroom mirrors refrigerators chalk- cork- and whiteboards
were feathered with bright to faded coloured tags of insight scribbled
with ascending words of clarity and certainty
reflective signposts stabbed along highways and rural roads informing them of possibilities or risks
PRISON
AREA
DO NOT PICK UP
HITCHHIKERS
No not ordinarily
it entered violently
and as bitter as it was it was necessary to recognise
to hold it up and out away from his face
away from his heart
decidedly in the sense of affirmations it wasnt it wasnt a thing he could put away or bury just yet
or not for awhile
it was abject
he penned it as it was said to
him and his sister as they rode in a rental car with their mother after a medical consultation for her
I’m gonna turn into the biggest
bitch you ever knew or saw, just you two wait. I’m gonna be the biggest fucking
asshole to you both. That’s what you deserve.
then he wished he could understand what provoked it
or even what she meant
it came out of the blue
anybody can lose their shit say terrible things
she even has that shes on medication and painkillers and has been in poor health
but unfortunately she refuses to
mitigate her health and continuously makes poor choices
to
her detriment
once in a blue moon he reasoned
anybody can lose their shit
but
she returned to it when she usually forgets
everything and riffed it again and then one last time
it
wasnt a blue moon kind of thing
curiously she said so when that very evening would have a blue moon
1203, Saturday,
1 8. 15
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