1.8.15

ironic blue moon



ordinarily
  
                 he wasnt a proponent of daily affirmations
although he did affirm every day of his life was filled with small detailed wonders and he hunted them with a hawks eye

he had grrlfriends(had) family members relations whose bathroom mirrors refrigerators chalk- cork- and whiteboards were feathered with bright to faded coloured tags of insight  scribbled with ascending words of clarity  and certainty

reflective signposts stabbed along highways and rural roads informing them of possibilities   or risks


PRISON AREA 
 DO NOT PICK UP
HITCHHIKERS





No     not ordinarily



though recently there was one   it   niggled its way in    no it didnt 
                                                                                                          it entered violently 
and as bitter as it was  it was necessary to recognise
to hold it up and out away from his face

away from his heart


decidedly  in the sense of affirmations  it wasnt    it wasnt a thing he could put away or bury   just yet    or not for awhile

it was abject


he penned it as it was said to him and his sister as they rode in a rental car with their mother after a medical consultation for her

I’m gonna turn into the biggest bitch you ever knew or saw, just you two wait. I’m gonna be the biggest fucking asshole to you both. That’s what you deserve.


then   he wished he could understand what provoked it
or even what she meant

it came out of the blue


anybody can lose their shit  say terrible things
she even has that shes on medication  and painkillers  and has been in poor health
but unfortunately she refuses to mitigate her health and continuously makes poor choices
to her detriment


once in a blue moon he reasoned   
                                                          anybody can lose their shit

but she returned to it  when she usually forgets everything  and riffed it again    and then one last time
it wasnt a blue moon kind of thing



curiously  she said so  when that very evening would have a blue moon




1203,  Saturday,  1  8. 15      

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