He stood up from the computer  tossed himself a couple time to the left  then reached 

down for his coffee cup   he recognized the time as 11:22

immediately inside his skull he flipped its seconds to :33

11:22:33

and then the next second :34

11:22:34

and thats where it ended

11:22:35 was out of synch

11:22:32 might have been interesting

                                                            though he wasnt

otherwise he would have imagined the seconds as :32

wouldnt he

though he didnt

did he

NO  he didnt

Ah  he succeeded in his first affirmation of the day

                                                                                      

                                                                                          telling himself NO

NO was good to hear   and better to hear it in ones own voice as a shining preparation

for the advent of A Day Out in the World

where  perpetually  it seemed he asked questions other people found rude or unorthodox

--   Do you really just ask me that

--   Are you really asking me if I just asked you that

--   Thats so rude

--   Rude  Because it occurred to me or because I asked it

--   Because  . . . . both

--   Ah both  You want it both ways

So things that occur to you you prefer not to ask

You prefer not to affirm  or confirm

Or is it that you worry youll be contradicted

That you had missed it significantly

Or utterly

--   NO (got it!  --  the first for the day not out of his mouth)

I simply prefer not to be rude

--   Rude

Curious

I believe rude is subjective  incremental

In a word it suggests the thickness of ones skin  how easily another can get under it

What do you think

--   Were not having this conversation

--   But . .. 

--   NO (and again!)

they walked off

some even trotted off as if fearing he wasnt going to take NO for an answer

which he always did

he wasnt that rude

evidently

and so he salted his mornings denying himself   NO   prepping himself for the grueling

outer World  a World whose armaments  --  by his estimation  --  were far more twisted

and perverse than his simple straightforward questions

questions  which often he asked  intended as a form of détente 

                                                   

for Outside he had no intentions mollifying people who engaged him 

he parried their thrusts

and as they somehow assumed it their right

he assumed his

he pictured their interactions in his mind as mirrorplay  quicksilver reflections

back-an-forths  ad nauseam   seamy   his mind altering their shadows

albeit ever so slight  as to favor a carnival funhouse mirror

a tad disorienting 

unstable footing

NO  he really shouldnt have wonder at all of the NOs he got

they were the chaff to the grain that said YES

and YES was where unique explorations truly began

as easily as 1 2 3

1659,  Friday,  5  12. 14