Ohman  oh man   this trip to Fullerton is going to happen

probably better than 500 miles over the day to get the rental back in town in time and he was no more prone to the ride than an icecube was in visiting Hell

LA

he had reason he despised LA or any big city

hed grown up in Chicago

despite its eclectic thoroughly engaging Culture the Downtown Library the Art Institute its other fantastic Museums he despised its curbed foetid streets clogged arteries and constipated freeways

it was as if he was shackled compressed or stuffed into a blighted box

his face pressed at its ragged edges to breath

then breathing noxious blued air

he was only a child who hadnt the means to get away

but once he got away he usually picked and chose his descents into Hell

this descent wasnt his choosing

traffic  seemingly compelled  sped up the furthur south they rolledrolling nearer and nearer that great sucking vortex  LA  whoring  attracting  drawn towards it to its hole hidden away somewhere at its very center like a great yawning mouth or grieving asshole

while he managed the wheel she cast her eyes about as he couldnt and wouldnt dare -- commenting how grateful she was she wasnt driving -- and provided him a voiceover as entertaining and absurd

a play-by-play of that happening at their periphery as the drivers who careened around them like brilliant billiard balls smashed at the break of a game of 9-ball while We Are All Made of Stars gimmicked his mind and oozed lithely in its primordial mudtides

--   How bout this she laughed that billboard

--   What

--   1-800-FIND GOD

--   A billboard

--   A freaking billboard

--   Well then  keep your eyeballs peeled for the billboard that reads 1-800-KILL HIM

--   You really ought to stop with that

--   Ill stop when they stop proselyting and praising Him for every fucking thing thats good in this world  And Hes perfect  Aint a damn thing perfect in this world least of all HIM if he exists which I doubt to the very marrow in my bones

--   Hes up on a billboard though

--   He is  Love the outreach  Aint bad enough they shake people down but shake food from their mouths for salvation on a billboard off the 5

--   101

--   You saw one on the 101

--   Were on the 101

Youre looking for the 5

--   I am  Correct

Can you imagine  Were trying to find an entire freeway that we might miss because were captured in some sort of mechanised riptide or like a lousy cornkernel tucked in a nondescript turd

--   I cant

Youre so descriptive  And gross  And at the wheel

--   Dont act disgusted

Were in LA

--   We areWHOA

--   WHOAwhat

she churned out a long glorious laugh

What WHOAwhat

--   Hilarious

--   Great  found your voice

WHAT

--    On the side of that panel truck

Didnt you see it

--   Youre hilarious

I should be reading panel truck advertisements while traffic resembling a darning machine runs amok in an out in an out in an out

--   Oh 

 

Theres that isnt there

--   There is

--   Youdve loved it in person

--   Probably if it tickled your fancy as much as it did

--   Yah

Panel truck

1-800

--   Stop

--   No kiddin  An 800 number

--   Awright  Tell me

--   Got a good grip on the wheel

--   I do

--   No veering for laughter  All right

--   Ill be fucking stoic

--   You  Stoic

 

--   Ill try my besMuthafucker

--   Muthafucker

--   Fuckin hot pink Sentra Oriental airfoil

--   Asian 

Not Oriental
Oriental isnt PC

--   And you know me to be so very PC

--   Might creep up on you and haunt you someday

--   OHlike a fuckin pink Oriental airfoil

                                                                                         

--   Asians have an appreciation of airfoils
But as I said  I appreciate you driving
 

--   Enough

Gimme some laughter

--   And youll attempt stoic

--   I will

--   The panel trucks 800 is 1-800-GO BEAVS

--   Dafuck

--   Thats what it said

--   Rollin pros

--   Well if so  it was a really nice panel truck

--   Kinda like an upgraded camion de alimentos

--   An upgraded ailing chameleonWhat

--   What the hell  A food truck upgraded

--   Ah  Youre the only comedian allowed in this car on this trip 

--   Nope notall  if you can allow for the possibilities of rollin pros

Think of the ramifications

--   Thought this one through havent you

--   Just in the past Waring blender moment


they took care of business in Fullerton and made it back with 17 minutes to spare on the rental return

531 miles on the A-trip odometer

A-trip

B-trip

he still hadnt figured why there were two

1300,  Friday,  19  12. 14

Moby  We Are All Made of Stars  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1rFAaAKpVc