Howd that happen

                     his heart asked

She  she insinuated herself

    She  was a cat

hallies a woman appleseed was a spider  Insinuated

                                                             Take me at my word

Im not bigyouve rendered me so  Not one to seek friends

                                                              An introvert

Your guard down

You were an excellent boxer

Unlike you

I was a kid then

                   Don think I let my guard down  Ive learned over the years

My doors not swung open

Im dismissive from the get-go

    Youll excuse me  Your recent  allowances     suggest otherwise

Recent suggests   many

Im not suggesting many

                         I havent room for many   We  havent room for many

We do not

    Anyet

An yet

You let them enter

I did

           In my defencenot tha I need to defend myself  from you

Holes  have  happened

    Yes

Perhaps I was pluggin holes

You tell me

   I had room

I was willing to risk

An it cost you

It did

            No blame

No  None

               None

Its to you to negotiate

    It is harder now

It will only be harder

                         Like fictional Immortals who suffer everyones deaths they allowed  themselves  to love

Not that were immortal

No

 

Let me say this

    Yes

I will miss us

                  You made me a rarified organ  I am grateful

I am grateful to you

after 2000hrs,  Thursday,  26  12. 24

1551,  reggaefriday,  27  12. 24

Well look at you. I rarely see you out.

Out chuckled to himself 

                        nodding to his neighbour Its good to see you Good holidays thus far

They have been, thank you.  Yours?

Good to hear  Yes

                       Be cool

Okay.  You too.

Thank you

 

 

    Out was In at his house

windows openhadnt run heat or air since ’20  only a few states could support his decision  fortunately this was one

when he was asked why he didnt broadcast  somehow it got around he replied

                                                                                  Wha did we do before

Before?  Progress since.

                             That’s not the point.

Its my point

              People take their comfort for granted a lot for granted  I consider them luxuries

Yacold  put on a sweater layer up

One shouldn’t have to dress in their own home.

I agree no   not if they don wish to

If a point Im living the way I want

You have a point, you’re making a point.

Youre suspicious

I think it’s suspicious, it's unorthodox.    Unusual.

    UnAmerican

What do you mean by that?

Runnin with your Uning

You trying to be clever?

Ones cleverness anothers common sense

                                                 Im not tellinya wha to do

But comparativel . .

. . Theres nothing to compare

                               Im not comparing myself to you you to me   Im doin my own thing

You’re insinuating conspicuous consumption.

Call it whaya will

                    I havent a name for it

Ifya need a name a label

                             Mines  cold comfort

I think it's nuts.

Just diggin whaonce was our roots

                                     Feral

I like feral  Its   uncomplicated

                                  smiled

after 0800,  reggaefriday,  27  12. 24

1217,  reggaefriday

they shared a raucous Im upyoure down Im downyoure up impetus  a splendid night of lovemaking

                                                                                                       what was so very compelling was that it was precipitated by a job offer she accepted earlier that evening a job she had passionatelypursued for years

she scrambled out of bed usually had to dislodge her to make it

                                                                I’m so excited! Showering, love.

Awright kiddo  Ill warm a towel in the dryer make French Press

Thank you.

               over the hot splashing shower water

    Christ  she was animated

he walked her out to the car hugged kissed her goodbye

as she back out  I’ll text I arrived.

Thank you

she pulled forward descending the hill they waved until they couldnt see each other

he went back inside did the dishes poured himself a cup of coffee began reading the newspaper

                                                                                                          a thought occurred

he set the paper down

concentrated on the thought

                                 laughed

hed share it with her at dinner

 

the thought

              I love you

a statement hes said only to his first girlfriend  his wife who unfortunately had died  and her

                                                                                                     he told her she would be the last woman he ever says it to

chuckled

            I love you a delicious hidden parenthetical

I love (being inside) you (being in your hands between your tits in your mouth your pussy your ass)

                                                                                                 I love (to fuck) you

I love (being fucked by) you

 

    he loved her with every fibre of his being

early AM,  reggaefriday,  27  12. 24

Don’t you think that . . . qualifying . . or . empowering . . . your dreams its . . scenarios its imagery . conversations contained therein . . minimize you creatively?

 

he tried to count to tenwasnt happenin  How

                                                Whereverhowever my thoughts come they do

Who am I to shrugem off avoidem  From anywhere   I encourageem

My box is enormous it influences me antha outside it   Is humongous

                                                                           I welcome them all

he shook his head in disbelief

    Don do tha  Because youre unimaginative lackluster 

                                                               Don point fingers don question shit

Walk a mile in my shoes

                             Try  Then talk to me

Talk to you.

                 Often you sayfrankly insist, you can’t claim responsibility for what you write.

Sometimes I cant   Correct

    You say . . . often . . it’s like taking dictation.

Yah

I don’t understand.

Its not necessary you do I do  Im grateful

                                              To be the piece of paper thas scribbled on to be the pen to be the handthe tool tha records the thought image  the idea 

Breathtaking

                I havent words

It steeps

I return to it edit it

                      Gobsmacked

Tha I am part of the process however it operatesIm not interestednot concerned is  delicious

My point 

            If not me I hope someone else

Its arresting

Divine

       Not to worry  Not in a religious sense

It doesnt matter where the thought comes from

                                                    Pickup a lucky penny from the groundfind a dollar bill You worry where it came from

Be grateful its yours

I don’t stoop to pickup pennie . .

. . I do

           Coud be why you run at a deficit

    Looks like yawanna get in the last word

Speak

Like I’m a dog?

    I didnt say fetch

 

 

1534,  Thursday,  26  12. 24

1836,  Thursday

he wasnt paying attention

                            she said Follow me.  turned  walked into the mall through a revolving door . . . he hadnt been through one in yearsreminded him when he was a kid and would go round and round and round and piss off adults who didnt want to time it  slip insidenot have to push while he provided the muscle the locomotion  his mothers glowering eventually made him disembark . . . and she looked none too happy as he went round and round and round

I said follow me.

You did I was

                I had to go round an round in circles  Figured youd wait a moment   Had hopes you might join me

In case you didn’t notice, no one joined you. They went to the other door.

Followed their dirty faces

Dirty?

Makin faces

Ohyeah.

Too bad Not one child locked away inside an adolt

Even children didn’t follow your lead.

Cowards

You’re something else.

Thank you for waiting  I had to

I know you did . . just as I was enterin’.

Patience

    Yeahwell . . . something you taught me.

Follow me.

hed follow her anywhere  wha an ass

he didnt pay attention to where she lead preoccupied

she entered a store

he was right behind her

went into an aisle

hit the brakes

he acted asif he didnt see her taillights go on ran into her  grabbed her so he didnt knock her down was a little game they played

Why are you so crazy?

You make me nuts

she smiled

             I guess there is that.

There is definitely tha

                        he lookedround  Wheres this

Think it’s time you bought a nice outfit.

Outfit  Am I a woman

Then whatever you call it.

If I was in the market Id be at Goodwill

                                          Whas the name of this place   Christ

on the plateglass facing out T backwards R backwards E backwards B backwards L  A  T  backwards ampersand  T two backward Es W  T

TWEET & TALBERT

A Men’s shop.

Howd you find this place

A guy at the office dresses nice I asked him.

Cantya just admire his dress at the office and leave me to my . .

. . 501s, black tshirt?  No.

Seersuckers

No.

     Let’s get a couple of outfits for you.

Awright nodded

                   threw in the towel began as an outfitnow two he didnt want more

she had good taste  knew wha looked good on him

he shaddup

    next time  hed pay attention

prior to 8AM,  Thursday,  26  12. 24

1211,  Thursday

Billy Preston  Will It Go Round In Circles  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F_DRNCGjQM

You got a bucket lis . .

. . I wanna get laid a few more times.  all else he needed were dogpants behind his words

    Laid

You gotta say it like that?

Which was

Was . . . like I’m out of my mind.

Brother  by your own words you havent struck me as a good lay even when you were younger

That’s a helluva thing to say.

Not when comparing sex you   you yousound more like ya dipped your toe in it rather than treated it as a seven-coarse meal a freaking banquet  Eating the parsley garnish at the edge of the plate

Garnish.

eyeballed him Garishly

         LOOK  NO HANDS

How coudya not be positively enthralledsuck meat off the bones snapem crackem finger out suck the marrow

That’s disgusting.

Your described sex Coudnt agree more

                                           I stoodem on their head ateem like ice cream cones  slowly  messily let their flavour dribble onto my hands wrists lappedup every bit of em

 

    Nohuh

By the expression on your face  Nada    Not your foray

Foray?

Furiously

           This is where yaoughta interrupt jabber  something about testosterone your typical go-to lets you stagger wade around like a Greek Titan he wouldnt impart to him tha hed be Uranus to his Cronus wasnt up on his mythology  Cronus castrated Uranus

Yeah. A god.  You got it right.

he motioned with his hand waved him onward said nothing

Filled to the brim burstin’ with testosterone.

Yah

     Then whas with the little blue pill ED

Fuckyou.

At least youre up on your pharmacology

                                            Testosterone

In excellent service to young men groomed as GIs or for business world psychopaths sociopaths  to make money at all costs

      Cretins   Titans of Industry

Crazy  Can kill for your government but ya cant kill for yourself

                                                                     But I digress  Yawanna get laid againwho doesnt

    Regrets to your partner

angerflushed You’re ruthless.

Testosterone

2141,  Monday,  23  12. 24

1052,  Thursday,  26  12. 24

Little River Band  Reminiscing  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQPzPrqNbMk

there is an obscene colour to the Family Holiday gauntlet

                                                               nearly hurtled  nearly cleared

until next year

if next is granted

                      three did not make this year

while one can admire the pretty watercolour

                                                what to make of the stark executed  pencil sketches

candle smudging  frank caricatures

                                      Who?

Please, you know damnwell who . . . damnwell whos.

    he is not blind

he deftly understands the necessitythe obsequious desire for the patented commercial Brightside

                                                                                                         but to denigrate disparage deny  the other very real side   the sadness  unhappiness

ostrich head buried in the sand

                                   is unacceptable  is unreal

pain sorrow  exhibits

                         it cannot turn on the demand for the comfort of others who do not feel like

    demands are made

some submit

                others avoid the confrontation

he avoided it so he didnt hurt someone

                                           because  he  knew  he would

he was not generous

he felt too deeply 

2124,  Wednesday – Christmas,  25  12. 24

You see?

            coquettishly she slipped her polkadot swimsuit bottoms off her ass

he took a breath

                  Christ oozed from his throat Wha a fuckin assshe knew  breathtaking

he hadnt realise what an assman hed become

she was ahead of the curve

                                   Wha fuckin curves

atop she purred

                  Whatever this is.

Yafuckin kiddin me whaever this is   she knew whaever this was

                                                                          she shimmied

Yakiddin me

what a gorgeous round firm ass

    Whatever this is.

                        shimmied again

echoing her  he steppedup tight behind her

    Whatever this is.

                       he dug the lilt in her voiceher come on  steppingup on herhands on her hips

    Whatever this is.  refused to look over her shoulder at him

he pushed her down

                       hands on her shouldersher hands on the bed  Whaever this is he whispered

Yes.

pushed her feet apart with hisspreading her legs

                                                            Whaever

Yes.

Whaever

    Yes.

he masturbated her with his cockshe kept trying to insert himshifting her hips  groaning

Nono no

Quit playing.

                 he leaned backaway  admired her ass

                                                            decided otherwise  gave her a good tonguelashing

she didnt see that coming

                            gurgled deep in her throat FUCK.  spreading her legs further apart

Whaever this is  apparent

Merry Christmas baby

Again?

Neednt ask

0757,  Wednesday – Christmas,  25  12. 24

1550,  Wednesday – Christmas

Hattie Carrolls coldblood murderer  wellcontacted   found guilty   sentenced to six months

    Thas not found

Didnt know wha it wasbut  thas  not  found

    lost  

            a woman

if hedve found William Zanzinger

William Zanzinger would never have been seenheard  or thought of again

                                                                                Billy Zee!

Who?

Mister Zee.

              Clean and E Zee.

eyes go around the room

they avoid his eyes

                      sitting in the mezzanine  great view of the place    sensational acoustics

Who?

          the  right  fuckin  question

swamp can never be fed enoughwas always hungry always  clutching a fork cuttin utensil  but more than willing unashamedly  to eat with their hands

                                           like him

disturbed dates

                   until he tookem home showedem what really eating with ones hands meant

turnedem into seven-coarse meals

whore d’oeuvre

soup

appetizer

salad

main coarse  pussy

dessert  powdered finger   madeleine

mignardise

             threw him too  thenAh Why didntya say so  petits fours

                                                                           either pet tits or get down on all fours  nosh ass

Trust me baby  Youll love it

1964

Of course Bobby couldntorwoodnt  elaborate

    that  was  his  job

                             pickinup  the pieces

2019,  Tuesday – Christmas Eve,  24  12. 24

Dylan   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHfo7oyDxVc

Average White Band  Pick Up the Pieces  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyjlxsJEknc

he had to undergo a desperate surgical procedure

                                                      wished everyone would quit looking dour

they werent on the table

    sighedimagined  a young woman walking in out of the sun and heat looking cool and refreshing as sherbet tossed short blonde hair pert breastsjiggling beneath a sheer sleeveless blouse asif she were stirringup pulp that settled in a lemonade pitcher gently   deliberately

                                                 HELL sighed again

Well smiling sardonically  I’ll either see ya, or I won’t.

closing his eyes he thought relished

                                             There will never be this moment again in this life

Tuesday,  19  7. 05

1206,  Tuesday – Christmas Eve,  24  12. 24