Stop stop.  You shouldn’t use Never.

   Thas fair

               However I was talkinbout me anwha I know Ive never have done  Ive never been poked in the ass an I expect I wont be

                  Therefore  likewise  stop using Always has slipped from youre mout more times than I can count

Never always Always never

                               Dig

Pot callin the kettle black  Dig 

eyes bugged didnt like being called outhe knew how frequently he tossed Always around Always wrapped his ankles for basketball dude Always jumped whenever a woman he was wooing wanted something his dealbreaker list was miserable fouled his problem  tied himself up in knots because he didnt Always see How High he jumped

   How High

                repugnant to him

but that was him

sought only his demeanor

trying fuckin hard not to judge

   it nudged

               but he was human

was the problem that were all human

                                           all related

   Bartender! A round of DNA for the House.

1744,  Thursday,  28  12. 23

2209,  Thursday

Judy Collins  Both Sides Now  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-aFw4l2uXE 

   dreaming

labyrinth

                 familiar territory

Greece Santorini  narrowstreets switchbacks  partied in a club in a cave somewhere  coming out cohorts freaked  they didnt remember how they came

                                 Follow me  Rightup my alley  

labyrinths beckoned him

he dove in

   he had to take a leak

what he thought was a house suddenunfolded spilled in everywhich direction  flooroozing reflectingquivering like mercury from a broken thermometer  halls serpentine was propelledoddly   like peristalsis

                                                                                                  like Dali had a hand in it

if he could find an xterior door out hed take a leak in the grass or whaever outside had become

the Urge to leak relented became patient curious  Let’s see where this takes us shall we? I’m with you.

You are with me

Then let’s not tarry. When we find a bathroom you’ll be relieved of me.

negotiation  finalised   they tarried not

                                          Bathroom door?didnt knockbarged in acted like cops with a warrant

was a bedroom

Wherethere’s a bedroom, a bathroom’s not far.

                                                Thad make common sense

   they was dreamin

                      jamming the warrant not worth the paper it was written on in his pocket they went door to door to door  enteredunannounced  found people or someone in every room anif a bathroom it was in use JesusChrist man don’t ya knock?I’m busy beat it.  caught people midact doing different bathroom things defecating DO YOU MIND! dressin pissin fuckin bathing showering  This is hopeless.

                                                             SHADDUP

burst in on trysts buttfucking cockgobblin pussysuckin   What’s that? 

                                                                         No idea  Although it looks like fun

in the real world his bladder pushed on his prostate rectum stomach liver  

                                                                               Get his ass up.

he woke

cat slept on his belly

Gotta move shy Stickaround but I gotta take a leak

Who knew that the door to the outside required waking?

                                                         Youre relieved soldier

Urge made a snappy salute

AMish,  day-between-2-Ts,  8  11. 23

1259,  Thursday,  28  12. 23

Gary Wright  Dreamweaver  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McZYYe0kAtg

Good morning good morning.

Sleep well

Like the proverbial rock.    Yaever wonder what type of rock it is?

he had just tucked his head in the icebox hand on it other on the door he came out of his bend

                                                                                                       Type of rock

Are you . .

. . Still high?  I believe I am.

                                 No.  I am.   You?

I only took a half you gobbled a whole

                                         I told you they were awesome

Yet you only ate half.

Only half  Whas tha about

When we were kids you were the tip of the spear, the explorer, you did things that we just sat back and watched to see if you'd die.

Didnt

No. But if there was the question in the yearbook, most likely to lose his mind to drugs or overdose, you would have been the odds-on favourite, second place not even in sight.

We were kids Kids are bouncy resilient  We aint kids nomo

                                                                     Were you competing with me

No. No no no.  Half the edible I ate, you were no competition.

   Awright

               No I havent consider wha rock the proverbial sleep rock is   You

Nah. I was just askingmaking conversation.

Well have to give it some thought Coffees on Got eggs got several baked potatoes bacon sausage mushroom Anaheims onions coud do a muleskinner breakfast Coud do pancakes waffles Neighbour Beth brought over some homemade bagels and smear

Beth.

       You two have something going on?

Gentleman doesnt say

You’re no gentleman.

Im not But I also donsay

                            I mentioned you were coming to townchildhood buddy an she mentioned thawhenever childhood buddiesgirlfriends come to town she makes bagels fruit scones  Shes thoughtful Thought wed enjoy something homemade

Methinks the gentleman just said.

Whadaya like

Muleskinner sounds up my alley.

                                    I'll start with a bagel and smear.

 

Heres the smear  bagels in the Tupperware on the cabinet next to the table one to the right contains everything bagels Beth keeps them separate silverware in drawer under the coffeemaker cups above  paperplates beside the bagels

he placed the eggs vegetables on the cutting board beside the sink cast iron skillet on stove sausage first bacon later preferred it chewy

                    Toasters behind the coffeemaker

No thanks.

Raw

What?

I call it raw Makes eyebrows go up 

Think I’ll abscond with that.

Yare welcome to it Spread the wealth

halving an everything he smeared the smear lightly  bit itOH SHIT this is delicious.

Aint it

         Help yourself to the smear you went light 

Thanks.

        he gobbed it onSHIT. This is freaking tasty.

in his chair turnedhaphazardly to him I . . . half he held slipped his grasphit the floor upsidedownSonofabitch.

                                                                                                                   he came out of his chairwent to his kneesall fours the bagel between his hands turning it over picking it up  floor smeared

Ill get tha

Oh hell no you wont five second rule. he began licking it off the linoleumsnuffing like a pig OHman this is so good so good it’s so good snuff snuff so damn good snuff . . . 

he returned to prepping the muleskinnerturned sausage

                                                           hed cut him slack dude was high

AMish,  2sday,  7  11. 23

1125,  Thursday,  28  12. 23

I cancelled at my dentist’s office. Tryin’ to give me the runround urged I have a sleep study done.

Apnea

Yeah. They do sleep studies too.

The dentist office

Yeah.

Sleep studyhavent heard of it at a dentist office

Evidently they’re trying to . . incorporate . .

. . Horseshit

              Smacks snake oilish

You think?

I do

I thought likewise.

                     Bunch of dimwits.

Dimwits

           Awman excited to hear ya use tha terminology

Aryou kiddin? Between Gram and you. Ever occur to you that the pair of you thought most people were dimwits?

I remember a lot of eidgets . .

. . Yeah.

         Madeup the majority of the remaining half who weren’t dimwits.

   kind of sheepish Yakiddin me

No.

    You and Gramma were brutal.  What is it she said that you’d chime in right behind her wearing a cheerleading outfitshakin’ pompoms?

Ah  I know

Say.

Give it a moment

                  You got dimwits an eidgets down  Itll percolate up in a matter of seconds

her eyes grew big

                    Oh shit.

Came to yahuh

Do not suffer fools gladly.

Yah

      Look how sharp you are

Me?

    Look how sharp you and Gramma were.

How smart she was I learned from her

                                          She made me the feminist I am today

Oh Papa, I kinda think you were inclined.

                                            Gram was just the straw that broke the camel’s back sealed the deal.

Really think so

You kiddin’ me? You were the oldest. Your sisters always talked about how you encouraged them, encouraged them never to settle for less, never take bullshit off anyone.

                                                        Anif someone tried to give them a hard time you wanted their name. You’d have a chat with them.

The aunts  Wow  Wha busybodies  he smiled big

                                                      True they were right  But women are the best the brightestsmartest sex on the planet

Guys

       Fuckin knuckledraggers

You didn’t get that from Gram.

No

     Don have to hang out with them too long not the learn tha  If women coud be a fly on the wall in all the sport lockerrooms Ive been in an overheard their shit

                                                  OH MY  GAWD

Dimwits an eidgets an knuckledraggers Oh my

Right out of the Wizard of Oz?

Exactly baby  Exactly   

1836,  day-between-2-Ts,  27  12. 23

2118,  day-between-2-Ts

the last dream climaxed

                                then ended

   now

            the sun went down over the cinematic dreamhorizon he waited patiently for the overnightmornings fifth-bill of however how many –bills his mind had in storewould throw at the wall

                                                                            frankly

he anticipatedat some point superimposeIMPOSE run twothree at once on the superHUGE dreamscreen

                                                                                               Vegas Sphere has nada on him

SUDDENthere was a soundlessexplosion purewhiteness shocking his eyes

                                                                                    silently prevailed    prevailing

   continued

              continuing uncomfortably

he wondered if he died

      strangelynow the whiteness changedtexturised  weave he wasnt dead Yes ohyes woven  hunreds count  long staple   Egyptian Cotton

                            a sheet

a hard focus

               glint    goldenhued drips  drabs

   honey

           pulling back   pointofview receding

lowerright

         back  of womans head entering the frame

hair piled on top her headsecured with chopsticks

                                                          around her neck  a spiked leather collar

she lickedup the honeydabs

   naked her shoulders  her backfurrow of her spine

                                                           she crawled

pointofview receding furthur

upperleft appearing in frame

                                    a disembodied semierect cock

      wasnt honey

motion eeeasedceased

images blurred

unfocused

   dull   darkening

                           went matteblack

the end

AMish,  Saturday,  16  12. 23

123preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  27  12. 23

   smiled

           loved when his imagination kicked in treated him to the impossibleimprobable

possibly happened in his eyes  projected on them brain to eyes  or maybe eyes to brainhe could care less

he saw it unveil

                 first runmaybe   perhaps the only run

hes never had anyone jab him in the ribs and tell him  You wouldn’t believe what I just saw.”

                                                                                                    he would

he was susceptible to anything imaginable

                                             as a kid he climbed into big trees to their uppermost limbs sat in a narrow crotchswaying with the breeze and let the clouds act let them tell him a story  great white billowing cloudssensuous  dark angry stormclouds  both so passionate    clouds intrigued him

Where were you?you missed dinner. his mother demanded

You don’t feed him. his father said

his kidbrother I told you, he was sitting up in the tree on the corner.

Were you?

I was

Didn’t you hear your father whistle?

I heard

You didn’t come. Knew it was dinner.

Yes

Don’t feed him.

I’m not.

           He made his choice.

I did Im accountable

an ivoryamberstreaked coloured moon swept through the silhouette of a black bare tree

twothirds way through its crownthe last third the moon began to catch on the skeletal limbs  plaits   stretching like chewinggum

               either pulled or pulling  either in jest or pain or anger

the moon changed colour

                          ivory darkened  the amber deepened like driedblood

neither the moon relenting or the tree releasing

thickstrands thick spiderweave

   when the bulk of the moon  round  vast    was wellaway of the tree

                                                                              one or the other let go

a slow elasticity apparent

black limbs didnt trembled

the plaits caught up

                        then

the pair were separate

asif they never teased or angered or interacted

         but he saw

                            he saw

AMish,  Saturday,  16  12. 23

1033,  day-between-2-Ts,  27  12. 23

disappointed  Listen, if I sketch out step in please.

You won’t. 

If I do . . . please.  sounded to her like she was begging two heads were better than one

she hadnt spent time any substantial time in the MidWest since she moved but St. Louis Park Minnesota wasnt Waterloo Iowa  didnt occur to her that a chef salad could be as different as night and day

Iowa served iceberg lettuce

                             she couldnt remember if she ever bought it for a salad for tacosyeah

Iowa also heaped it with luncheon meat  she mistakenedhadnt ask for the dressing on the side  it was slathered over the top of meat over the iceberg lettuce

Thasnot a chef salad babe her father said

Preaching to the choir, Papa, preachin . .

. . his suddenunrestrained laughter interrupted her

   You’re laughi . .

. . With you with you Im laughin with you

I don’t think sodoesn’t sound like . with.

snort  Yaoughta saysnort  ya don believe so . .

. . You’re laughing at me.

I am I am

           Im laughin atya I can see your face your beautiful face all screwup all Whadafucks tha  snort snort 

Yawanna quitwith the pig impersonation.

Do I have to

   I suppose notno.  Tossed me for a loop . .

. . Speechless

Speechless, fuckin’ mute . . couldn’t believe that . . that was . thathat was a chef salad.

Youre not in Kansas any more Dorothytry an click those ruby heels fly back home 

Didya try to eat it

I had to ask the girlthe waitress an honest-to-God waitress not a server stitched in the breast of her swear-to-God Fifties diner’s dress uniform . .

. . Quaint . .

. . Not quaint, I’d say throwback but I’d be wrong . . . I had to ask Dolores for a side plate she screwedup her face Another dinner plate I interrupted her Yes. Please.

I excavated my salad to reach the pitifullyfew poor suffocated vegetables . .

. . Tomato slices.

Chopped.

Wasnt a chop salad ya ord . .

. . No. Chef.

   Truly luncheonmeat

Julienned SPAM.

Stop

No.

two night later in Reinbeck she ordered another chef salad

she didnt need backupwas on her game 

                                          Could I not get any meat on that, please?

Dearie, stitched Lucille said  that’s what makes it a chef salad cleared her throat  the julienned meat.

not ham not turkeysaid nothing nothing about swiss cheese hard-boiled egg slices

                                                                                        MEAT a mystery

1932,  day-between-2-Ts,  6  12. 23

2010,  2sday – Boxing Day,  26  12. 23

Does it feel like shes gone     It does to me

his guts twistedfelt like a spasticsnake

                                                   It does to me he whispered

was he trying to dissuade himself

he hadnt intuition

                    he left thapreferred tha  quality  to the very few women in his life

not those who passed through it

as he passed through theirs

fellow travelers

                 there for the sightssounds shake dust from their boots  hot showers    hotter motel beds

Gmorning

It’s afternoon.

he looked at his watch on the nightstand

                                              So it is  So it is    Afternoon  Buyya lunch

if a lot of dust she had a smartphone  Grubhub lunch dinner in bed

                                                                       then

in the morning

breakfast

            friendly fellow travelers 

no numbers exchanged

she had intuition

                   guts shuddered

if she was gone

it gone

          took it with her

Are you doubtin yourself

Yathink

   Stoptha

             Ball was never in your court yaknow tha   Nomo than in hers

Yare right

Were right

              Roll with the punches She may not be    You may not be

It was nice an easy

Thenbe  nice   an easy

                                Youll know before ya know it

   Aah  Gloria

2222,  day-between-2-Ts,  13  12. 23

1721,  2sday – Cold Moon/full moon,  26  12. 23

John Lee Hooker  (The Hot Spot)  Moanin'  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LMNSEJQhgg

Miles Davis  Gloria’s Story (The Hot Spot)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cr5yeFwvtk

Boxing DayNEVER heard of it

he received an invitation from his brother day after Christmas his son-in-law is English  It’s an English thing.

How long have you been celebrating it

                                         he lived on the Left coast as affectionately referred to by his immediate landlocked family they lived in the Midwest

Ninetynine.

Since fuckin Ninetynine

   Yah yah. Ness met Mark late sophomore year, they lived with us after graduating, hed earned a lucrative internship to remain stateside.

What year is it

Twentythree.

An this is the first Ive heard of itfirst invite Ive gotten . .

. . Ya live a long way away anif yawanna nitpicksplit cunt hairs . . when was the last time you were in for Christmas?

Two

Was it Two?

You know it

he could hear him shift uncomfortably rolledsteel legged chair on kitchen linoleum

                                                                                       I’ve invited you now.

Which I appreciate nice  nicetabe included

Yahsure.

What is it

Day after Christmasthis goes wayway back lords and ladies large houses enormous estates to be maintained groundskeepers servants butlers maids cooks livestock shepherds. You’ve heard.

Not fond of the period though have heardyes

Boxing Day, the one day the hierarchy celebrates their help, gifts them.

Aah  White of emhuh

I guess you could say that.

   I did

         Unfortunatelythough  while I appreciate the offer Ill have to decline  Yaknow  Tradition   Or traditionally

Then if you would, understand from here forth you’re invited to the house for Boxing Day. I’ve cleared it with Helen.

Suhweet  Landmines defused unearthed

                                            If I make Christmas Ill make Boxing Day thank you

You’re welcome.

There’s more to it thantha.

                            his first schoolboy chum moving into the neighbourhood of the same Cub Scout pack

You know Boxing Day

Yah. Of course.

Fuck of course When did you learn of it

Grad school. Threefour, four, yah four guys, were from England, learned then.

Anya didnt say

Why would I say?

I didnt quit coming in for Christmas until we moved to Cali Ninety Grad school was much prior Youd come to the folks house on Christmashave dinner with us lotsa bullshitting an being as many polacks as we were we didnt get out of country didnt rub elbows with graduate students

                                                      Id think youd have said something then

I’m saying now. It’s also a regifting time, boxing an unwanted gift anew.  Boxing Day.

The masters would regift gifts to their help

Not masters. They don’t like being called mast . .

. . Now

No. Not now. Smacks of . .

. . Imperialism

                 But they were masters

Not now.

          That wouldn’t be appreciated, they wouldn’t like it.

Awwbut ya know I coud care less

That’s you.

But if I may

Whadaya got?

They shoudnt be upset if called masterbecause because when you and I were younger we were referred to as Master you were Master Jeff we were Masters before we came of age and were called Mister

                                                                                            Yah

Yah. You are.

Now Id allowthem being upset if were referred to them as doing his best black voice which was shabby Mastah Whole other kettle of fishyah

   Yah. You’re right.

Some appleshuh

Some apples.

2218,  Monday – Christmas,  25  12. 23

1327,  2sday – Boxing Day,  26  12. 23 

mentor admissions

                       politicallyincorrect ehmissions

those what or who made him wet

stiffened his . . .

                  Is this a family show  Weel if he woudnt spare his family why woud he spare anyone elses he woudnt

stiffened his cock

   film is art

Jeremiah Johnson

                    he was a bornagain Mountain Man

when people discussed loneliness or being alone he thought  Is tha a thing

                                                                                his daughter then chimes in his ears

If you wonder if something’s a thing; it is.

      it just wasnt his thing

Fight Club  The Man from Nowhere subtitles  West Side Story Yahweel excuse him all to Hell

whisper revenge in his ear an hellbout follow yaanywhere

Nin Miller Hemingway Faulkner Sade Rimbaud Lautreamont Surrealists Burroughs 40s noir writers pulp science fiction

VanGogh Picasso Impressionists Surrealists Abstract Impressionists cunts Yahright flowers painted by OKeefe  Whawoud Frida say

   speaking for himself  ONE HUGE ejaculation

                                                     spent sighing  hell have to get back to ya

1340,  Reggaefriday,  22  12. 23

2134 changin’up 1234,  Monday – Christmas,  25  12. 23