he could hear her words in his ears despite the trumpeting just behind him a big boorish woman YOU’RE FUCKIN’ GORGEOUS

                      Candidates lie Papa, I wish they didn’t, maybe he wouldn’t have been where he was.

Ah babe People lie

You don’t.

I don hangout with people only person I can lie to now is myself

                                                                       You don either

No.

No Were not popular

she wasnt fuckin gorgeous

any more than the boor

                         she

reminded him

of his sisterinlaw looks like sinister inlaw  maybe not sinister  he wasnt keen

BOORish is a distinct quality

some hone and perfect it

this woman had

his sisterinlaw had

they were big women

one couldnt miss them

broadside of a barn came to mind

                                      YET 

they were loud  projected

when she YOU’RE FUCKIN’ GORGEOUS dogs in the venue cringed

                                                                             cowered

he felt bad for themFUCK he felt bad for himself  for others

                                                               when she bellowed his minds eye saw an Atomic bomb going off in the Nevada desert against a black sky

not its mushroomcloud its phallic property

its two yellow glowering eyes

   she was fishing

the compliment didnt come back to her  wasnt a boomerang

knew it wouldnt

                   hed also seen the woman she was remarking aboutNOPE in his estimate

hed dated a lot of beautiful women married one  had two beautiful daughters

YOU’RE BIRTHDAY’S NOVEMBER NINTH I KNEW IT  I’M SCORPIO TOO  Were gorgeous

NOPE

        Not so much

the House lights dimmed

the warm-up singer took the stage with an acoustic guitar

gratefully

           Scorpios dimmed too

2030,  Reggaefriday,  8  12. 23

1251,  Monday,  11  12. 23

Anna Tivel  Worthless  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkDPbmOp8_k

he heard what he heard but he had to be sure he heard right

                                                            . . . Excuse me I don mean to interrupt

What did you say

What part? his daughter replied

The disorder he was being treated for the he had been murderedshot to death he had told her murder for hire was out for him

The disorder, yes, it’s called I E D.

Whas the acronym stands for Im only familiar with one I E D Improvised Explosive Devise Apparently another fuckin acronym SAYWHA Christ Say wha just say wha it is

You’re not upset with me? 

he could imagine her expression

No No no I’m not upset with you

                                   Acronyms are euphemisms  Or attemptsdabbling in semantics They antagonise the shit out of me are caustic

                           But thas me

I’m sorry Papa, I don’t know what it stands for. It’s what he told me he was being treated for earlier this week. He was terrified I could hear it in his voice . . so terribly frightened.

a sob caught in her throat

                             I wish he would have said when I vetted him.

But tha woudnt have been your call

No.

     I’m sorry to say . . . candidates lie I wish they didn’t maybe he wouldn’t have been where he was.

Ah babe  People lie

You don’t.

I don hangout with people only person I can lie to now is myself

                                                                    You don either

No.

No  Were not popular

 

he had hisHA interactions  thats what he called themhumoured him his employers called them fights

he didnt get bounced because he didnt throw the first punch

he was defending himself

usually the provokedtruth be known he didnt work with Einsteins were moved to a different job site one or two fired

talk at lunch was rarely informative

Mondays the worst weekends preceding it the gallivanting bragging booze conquests

liars

he listened

he was married with children

he didnt buddy with these guys

a lot of these guys were drugged

a lot took medications

                          a frightful amount of medications like techs threw shit at the wall and hoped the combinations worked

sometimes  briefly  they did

if not back to the drawingboard

several were still eating meds they began taking as teenagers

listening

          he was WHA THE FUCK  WTF

they were treated for ADD which was upgraded with an additional letter H ADHD Attention Deficit Disorder then Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder fuck yah inside  in school  maybe FYIIS pronounced fizz

                                                                                                       fizzes usually end with POPs

No specific medications for IED

but certain meds MAY help

antidepressants

selective serotine reuptake inhibitors of course there is  SSRIs mood stabilizers

including

          lithium valproic acid carbamazepine (he misspelled that but WORD corrected it – why would WORD know tha an not other words he had to Add to Dictionary)

Fluoxetine (Prozac)

Sertraline (Zoloft) & Citalopram (Celexa)

Paroxetine (Paxil)

Fluvoxamine (Luvox)

Rosperidone (Risperdal)

Quetiapine (Seroquel)

   and last but not least  Olanzapine (Zyprexa)

(he recognised the brand names – Pharmas moneymakers)

maybe just maybe

                     the country was drugaddled keeping the economy chugginalong

I see chewchews

he didnt want to work with them

they werent hard to provoke

                                          DUH

1629,  Sunday,  10  12. 23

1137,  Monday,  11  12. 23

Delectatio  Quietly  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TT8dZGHwOk

https://www.dhs.gov/publication/ied-attack-fact-sheet

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10262303/

https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/fragilex/conditioninfo/medicationtreatments

he was going to write Creamy

                               but a knock at the door interrupted him

padding down the hall he hollered HELLO

a HELLO. returned

                   he couldnt make out the man in the doorway

HEY JOE.

he recognised himbarely

                          Greg in his shock he didnt immediately open the door

a soft understanding smile spread across his face YOU GOING TO LET ME IN?  

Yes he cleared his throat  I we  havent  seen each other in a long time

NO.

     I WANTED TO MAKE THE TRIP TO SEE YOU THOUGH.

opening the door out holding it for him

                                         Please come in

Greg had been a big man  strapping

he looked strapped shrunken

                                  weary

Care for coffee We can sit in the kitchen or on the porch outside it

YES. OUTSIDE WOULD BE VERY NICE.   I’VE FOUNG I REALLY LIKE THE SUN. I’VE MISSED SO MUCH OF IT. I DON'T LIKE THE NIGHT THOUGH, THE MOON.

I havent any milk or cream Blacks okay

BLACK’S FINE.

 

they sat in the sun

their conversation rambledran over many unexpected subjects

                                                                   they had been coworkers but rarely worked together

as a matter of fact hed been a thorn in Gregs side

Greg headed IT information technology and he informed Greg of most of its failures and demanded immediate or as immediately as they could be corrected

                                          frankly

he made Greg work

but he headed customercare and his customers werent getting their moneys worth when Gregs programs dropped the ball

Greg didnt appreciate him

he didnt care

               Im doin my job do yours

sans collegiality

WHEN THIS THING BEGAN DOCTORS GAVE ME A YEAR.

                                                              IF I GET TOMORROW I’LL BE HAPPY.

he listened

I DON’T LIKE YOU.  BUT I RESPECT YOU.   I WANTED TO STOP AND TELL YOU THAT.

                                                                                              I HOPE THERE ARE NO ANIMOSITIES.

None at all Thank you Greg

YOU’RE WELCOME. I APPRECIATE YOUR HOSPITALITY. I HAVE TO GO.

                                                                      he struggled to stand 

helped him up

Greg let him

THANK YOU.

they walked out of the house wordless he got the car door for him helped him in Greg started the car no seatbelt pointing to it I’M LIVING DANGEROUSLY. LET’EM TICKET ME.

he chuckled

              Life of a criminal

YES.  BRIEFLY.

                    SOO, I’LL NOT SEE YOU.

he nodded

            I wont see ya

wry smiles around

Greg backed up turning left drove down the hill

they didnt wavegoodbye

he didnt look into the side or rearview mirrors

   understood

earlyAM,  Sunday,  10  12. 23

Why do you stay in prison, when the door is wide open?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCCnesv8nhQ

Creamy . .

. . STOPright there

peeved What?

Get off the hamsterwheel woudya

You don’t even . .

. . I do

       Know exactly where youre goin cuz you cant leap or fold or wormhole like me

Youre chain links A to B to C to D to E  or numericallywhaever

Now tout your linear reasonplease

Gay men in America.

See youve been playin with statistics as evidence again Thought we put tha to sleep

You can’t refute it.

Estimations arent evidence Theyre odds

Everything is odds.

Ifya play fast an loose At best they are estimations at worse inaccurate biased prejiudiced Which is why I discount em

This is where you bring up AI

AI . .

. . Would estimate

                    How many jellybeans in the candy jar Count em

When youre done counting youll have evidenced your facts

                                                               Otherwise

I don wanna hear

That would be time consuming.

   Tha  would be accuratewoud be true

I have my phone right here. You wanna know what America believes . .

. . STOP

         Wha it thinks  Theres a difference an it aint semantics

Alright. What America thinks.

No  I don care what America thinks

                                      Tha think will be prejudice by upbringing culture other turns of the screw  Did they suffer a minimal ten conditioned checklist to discover if they woud be reliable intelligent to participate in the estimation

I have no idea. Random. Stochastic.

Which means it may be analyzed but may not be predicted precisely

May not doesn’t mean it won’t be.

Wanna put your neck in tha noose under tha guillotine blade Russian roulette pistol pressed to your temple though better under your jaw out through the top of your skull

Not me

         Also tha thas not been takin into account

 

What’s not been taken into account?

Wha might yathink nots been taken into account

                                                   Knots been he had to humour himself because he couldnt count on Links

Aside from your ten point check list?

Yes

I don’t know I don’t know. I thought this would be entertaining.

No you didnt

              Youre as zero-sum win-lose as someone gets Prance out some obscure statistic you cherrypicked to appear knowledgeable Happy you provide you your knowledge but not at the expense of my I coud care wha America thinks You thinkin for America now Thad be switchinup  Usually you speak globally

Well, I know something you don’t know.

No

    You know an imperfect statisticpossibly sloppy as you cant attest as to how or how legit those individuals answering the question are

Also whas not be taken into account

Which you seem less than enthusiastic about

                                                Id be making you work you prefer others labour

Goddammit.

               What’s not been taken into account

The Nest

The nest? What nest?

The LGBTIQplus Nest has yet to be unearthed

                                                 When it is  Or when revealed Itll blow your mindAmericas mind

You’re so full of shit.

1340-ish,  2sday,  5  12. 23

1615,  Saturday,  9  12. 23

he broughtuplaughed 127 every time they managed to insert IQ into their conversations  hurr   equations

during one

            “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. It is already over. Nothing can be done to change it. It is a story of love and loss, brotherhood and betrayal, – not to be confused with betrothal – courage and sacrifice and the death of dreams.”  

Do you have to do that every time?

You mean bringup Richard Feynman

No.  Star Wars.

   No

      Do you have to return to IQs standard deviationsHA its bell curve

Pen an paper here do you want to draw it to illustrate wha I neednt see  Again

However they exis . .

. . Exist for those who need them want to deploy them   For instance  You

Again. trying to cleverly playoff his again Why do you have a problem with them?

Weel   Again

               Product of eugenics

You recognise that’s an abrupt . .

. . End Or ought to be of this discussion

                                             I try my best to humour you but today Im in no mood

I was just trying to explain a standard deviation.

Which I understand Fifteen points one side or the other

Sixtyeight percen . .

. . Yes

   Yes? What?

Yes Population

                No mood

You say you’ve never been tested.

Not to my knowledge

                         Mood

A standard deviation . .

. . Wanna call it S D

You don’t like acronyms.

No But itll recall something else to mind when you use it

S. D.  S. D.  S. D?

                    I don’t know. What will it recall?

Tha youre a sadist

                    An ifya really get on a roll S M Sadomasochism  Rolling  B D S M an B D an D S an which I think youd love A B D L

                    he laughed

The joke’s on me?

Yes

You gonna say?

You wanna guess

                    Well find out your S D or if S Ds

No. You’re too humoured.

                            Spare me. 

Donsay

No. Spare me as in saying so I know.

But youll forget A dismal aspect   Low retention

Maybenot.

Adult Baby Diaper Lover

Jesus, man.

Forgetawready

No. Gimme your pen I’m lobotomizing myself.

1430-ish,  2sday,  5  12. 23

1212,  Saturday,  9  12. 23

https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2016/11/08/richard-feynmans-iq-score-was-only-125-and-he-loved-joking-about-it/?sh=3148de362c42

https://monthlyreview.org/2022/09/01/intelligence-under-racial-capitalism-from-eugenics-to-standardized-testing-and-online-learning/

. . . Yagetit yagetit cracking himself up the three syllables split apart under his torrent of laughter

bro sighedrolled his eyes

                           he was always a few steps behindcouldnt keep up

which was alright

often he couldnt keepup with himself

like trying to walkup a landslide an avalanche

                                                  yet

despite the backwards descentthe swift disarray

he could still see the apex endgame

itd just take him a little longer to get there

I didn’t hear you.

wiping tears from his eyes

                             Do you understand  You don hear me a lot

A curious excuse

sighing and rolling  It’s not an excuse.

Context

          I framed wha I said in the context of our conversation so  unless you didnt hear the last five minutes of it its an excuse

Nobody likes explaining jokes

There was a joke?

My first inclination is to say yes youre the joke  but thawoud be unkind

                                                                           Second I refuse to believe youre so dense it didnt penetrate he chuckled

defensively harsh That’s not funny.

Ah he noddedhumoured more so  You did hear me

                                                    But as always  uncomfortable with the subject which you must understand is why I return to it as often as I do Like picking a scab But yaknow no matter how picked a scab is it eventually heals it scars becomes callused  desensitises

                                                              Somehow you capably defy that Id say its deepseated an Id say thas not good

bro looked like he was going to blow

                                      he growled Ever think you might be a faggot?

No

      You think you might be

Fuckyou.

Brother if I coud I woud I think Im a tasty piece of ass  No complaint has ever been lodged against me

                                                                                                            Too exhausted  Too breathless

But this is about you

Your terrible aversion

Despite insisting faggots homos gays   They don bother you

he clasped his arms tightly across his chest the fetal position when one cant lay down

                                                                                       You don’t shaddup up I’m gone.

Im gone its your place

                        I aint shaddingup

   measured Then you need to leave.

Lemme know when you return to earth  Appreciate the cup of Joe

 

he had walked 

it was a lovely sunlit blue sky day

it still was

      he chuckled said to himself

                                     That was funny

he had said Gays get more ass than heterosexuals  Yagetit . . .

1430ish,  2sday,  5  12. 23

1020,  Saturday,  9  12. 23

. . . A horse woud be insulted

You can’t insult a hors . .

. . Yacan I did

                  I did by only being set atop it  Bucked me kicked me in the back when I hit the ground  I am not fond

Although

           Ill stand up for one if they were being insulted or beat  In a heartbeat

That makes no sense.

All the sense in the world

                             However no sense to they who are ignorantYOU he didnt wait from him to ask

So you’ll insult me?

Youd insult a horse yes

I think I know. By your own admission you do not hang around with horses.

No.

     My ex-wif . .

. . Nothing to brag abou . .

. . Excuse me . .

. . All to hell  Do I have to hear an ex-wife tale

I helped her with her horses.

Wha a guy

              Up until you she was doin awrighthadnt needed any help

No. But why wouldn’t I?

Why woudya

                She help you out with gobs an gobs of sex

This has nothing to do wit . .

. . It does

fucking guys face went flush

                                It.  Doesn’t.

Does

      Youd insult a horse

Confirmation is the correct vernacular.

No

     Configuration

No. Here. I’ll find it.

before he could tell him not to he had his trusty phone out and was Googling

   Here. No. That’s not it.   Confirmation. Isn't that usually have something to do with church?

After First Holy Communion Ya get to choose a sainted middle name  Ojoy

Were you confirmed?

No  First Communion nearly killed me

   Confirmation.

Not confirmation

Oh. No.   It’s conformatio . .

. . Which is different  

                       An frankly no better still insulting

                       

But it’s not configuration.

Youre killin me Bleat your conformation

Conformation. The shape or structure of something, especially an animal I was right.

An configuration

It’s not . .

. . Wastin my time look it up  Yaforced me to humour you an your trusty companion

Unlike your ex-wife

Quit with her . .

. . Sooner you look it up I will  Shes leverage

   Configuration.

                     Hmmm.

Whas it say

It says . . . an arrangement of elements in a particular form, figure, or combination.

BAM

No bam.

Youre an idiot tellya wha

What?

Are you going to say?

Rather than insult a horse Tellya wha

                                          Walk up to any woman an say  I coudnt help myself  I had to come over an compliment you on your conformation  Might get popped in the chops   Same woman  Compliment her on her configuration  Shell take tha as a compliment

                                                 Figures in it

Formation sounds dumpy

Id be forced to bet on it

  

   Fuck you.

Lemme guess

                   Semantics

1414,  2sday,  5  12. 23

1506,  Reggaefriday – John Lennon,  8  12. 23

Lennon  Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0jTA0DtZvY