hims
found him
some fuckin algorithm brought up his email address
grateful it endedup in his TRASH
thats where it belongednot bad enough telemarketers descending on his
cellphone after he dropped his landline but marketers cant leave a stone unturned they wouldnt be doing their job
Fine
Go to TRASH
Have either of you heard of hims
they gawked at him
Don gimme tha look Just say
ladies first
Are you kiddin’ me?
he seconded her
Im not kiddin Wha is it
You’re kiddin’ me. she said
he had years on her and she like
her seconding sidekick hed
second anything that came out of her mouth wouldnt take a
shit without taking their smartphones with them like they wouldnt know the world came off its axis unless it was
verified through some newsfeed or social media entity theyd committed to like religion
No
Second said No he’s not kidding. He’s so far out of the
loop . .
.
. Ill not get roped into anything tha Im uninterested in
Advertisements die in my rarified air
Rarified air?ohmy.
Should we suppose
we ought be honored with your presence, coming down off the mountaintop to be
with us mere mortals
tickled Second laughed
Nah pointing at Second with his thumb He invited me asked me to stop on the way over
for a bag of icecubes for your drinks Happy to help So apparently you follow advertisementsknow
wha hims is
You truly don’t?
Why woud I
I told you, he’s a hermit.
He does what he does and if he doesn’t want to do something he doesn’t. He’s
cut and dried.
That doesn’t sound fun.
Im a fuckin riot
she flinched
as he knew she would
Nigger
she doubleflinched
he called Supreme
Court Justice Clarence Thomas niggerrefused to call him black he didnt want to offend black people
. . . a fuckin riot
The man’s funny. Second said He’s what I call . . . . looked at himimplored him . . what do I call you?
Ya need a moment furthur
No.
I’m drawing a blank.
Yawanna hint
No.
I know you know.
I remember
What I said.
Whell babe he fixed her with his eyeshe wasnt a fan of
hers turns
out the two moneyed principals who startedup hims startedup hers clever white boys
He
calls me charismatic To a lesser degree
I of think myself as my mother did charming
One in the same, arent they?
No
I believe they are.
You believe in God Welcome to believe as you willbut no
To
put a fine point on it Charm I come to you which I did Charisma You come to me
Charm
is definitely more intimate
When I crawl out of my shell Or come down off the mountain be wha it
may I can be charming
He has a name for it.
An tha is
Don’t ask me I know you know.
he
sighed A hint
Come on man, I’m a little messed
up, can’t be working that hard.
You donwanna work tha hard
I
do not.
Performative
That’s
it! I knew you knew.
she eyed him second then eyed him
Performative?
Yes
Im more an introvert than extrovert
but I can play the game
Game?
Whawere doin now Relating
So howbout you
relate wha hims is then we can clear tha hurtle an move along to something far
far more interesting Please I coudif I were interested find their mission statement Every publiclytraded entity has a bullshit
statement as glossy as a highlypolished
dick
she blanched
An aint nothing more highlypolished
than a mans dick
I thought you were charming.
Apparently thas in the eye of the
beholder pointing with his thumb at
Second Take a look at him He thinks Im charming
Don’t smiling like a hyena
drag me into this.
Bullshit I got dragged into this
returning
his attention to her Wha the hells hims An lets just say I can be charming
I’m not feeling the vibe.
You havent an antenna for me Hims
It’s a company that sells sexual
aids, scents . .
.
. Cosmetics
If you would.
I woud
Atomisers
Atomizers?
You said scents
I’m sure some of their products
are atomized.
Hims
Definitely not up my alley
she looked puzzled
he was puzzled she looked puzzled
Lemme say bout tha Were adultsbeen around the block Im addressing you specifically Woudya rather be atomised or rocked by a
cumet
Thas spelled C U M E
T
she blanched again
1420, Sunday,
27 8. 23
1311, Sunday,
29 10. 23
