BINGO! it occurred to him  why was he so thick  White Christian Nationalists  he got itunderstood they have to influence local school boards they have to stick their fingers in curriculum they have to ban books 

                                                                                                       Gods illiterate

cant have children knowing more than God and their elders

otherwise they wont be pliant   

they wont take orders

they must be docile

subservient

1430,  ReggaeFiday,  26  8. 22

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/team-trumps-interference-covid-response-still-matters-rcna44819?cid=eml_maddow_20220825&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=TRMS%208/25/22&utm_term=Rachel%20Maddow%20Show

https://www.msnbc.com/alex-wagner-tonight/watch/mobile-phone-company-makes-mission-of-christian-nationalism-in-schools-147032645586?cid=eml_maddow_20220826&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=TRMS%208/26/22&utm_term=Rachel%20Maddow%20Show

he quickly turned from the others as they were leaving to him and said  And you, I expect you early for the appointed time and place.

                 rather urgent  terse

he smiled stepped backedaway and as he did he made a thing of looking to his left looking to his right  around allaround   quite ridiculously 

                                 finally  Are you talkin to me he said it over his managers rising Big Bad Wolfs huffin and puffin 

            My wha a big mouth you have Maybe save your breath an instruction for somebody else

You have a loose sense of time. I do not appreciate it.

Loose 

       A minute beforeminute later Guarantee ifya held your breath yawoudnt turn blue

Irregardless, you ought to be therearrive ten, fifteen minutes early.

To wait You mean to wait 

                             Ya out of your freakin mind thall be a cold day in Hell

So youd rather everyone wait on you?

Tellinya you coud all hold your breath an no one woud turn blue 

                                                                      Ill also tellya Ill upturn pinpointplace on the practised handyclock Om thas fourhunredthirtytwo Hertz I understand it helps release serotonin endorphins which in turn keeps your blood pressure and heartbeat stable OM  Omy  if anyone needs it ya do

manager looked like stammer 

                                actually  he looked epileptic Incoming Convulsion 

Please don he slapped his breast pockets I havent a sportsguard a No. 2 pencil to put in your mouth to keep ya from biting your tongue 

little dog syndrome snarl  You should take me seriously.

I cant

         Ive been here longer than anyone left standing  You coud go off an try to impress them  I know you like a book Anya know me

I understand my obligations

I meet them in my time analways with plenty of time to spare 

looking spastic How is it you werent fired a long time ago? You’re impudent. Ive seen your jacket . .

. . Id love to see my jacket . .

. . Ive seen it . .

. . An it woud help if you read it

                                   Possibly ya missed the slew of commendationslikely in the appendix which acts like a big fat . . exclamation point he was being civil  he wanted to say . which looks like a big fat cock  

Isnt it your lunchtime 

                        Time to imbibe take a load off

1148,  Twosday,  5  4. 22

1240,  ReggaeFriday,  26  8. 22

“. . Im gonna rap your door, rap on your windowpane . .”  is what she looked like sitting in the front seat of a pale limegreen four-door sedan between her dour parents

his brother-in-law had taken up what remained of the road between the mail truck and the other side of it

the family had pulled up behind the truckcut their wheels left so once we were out of their wayOUT in the middle of the road they could pass

Theyre waiting man

                      he knew his brother-in-law saw them  however evidently what he was imparting to the mailman had to be imparted

Theyre waiting

he didnt turn to himsaid over his shoulder I’m nearly done.

he looked away from the back of his brother-in-laws head at the girl and nodded to her he recognised her

almost imperceptibly she nodded back 

                                        her parents were animatedtalked over her without looking at each other

a lot of that going on

 

people in their own worlds

Theyre still waiting  prick

They can wait another moment longer. 

                                         people in their own worldstheir worlds terribly more important than the nexts

he opened the car door and exitedWhere are you going? he shut it and started walking  he had his own world to attend

 

as he passed the girl he hazarded a glance a bit of a smile 

                                                              he smiledBIG for the two of them

he knew where her world was taking her

he had run into her randomly on the street

he was walkinreadin

                   How do you do that?

he looked up she was on the other side of the road 

                                                       You ought to be walking into traffic.

I understand its advisable

she hahaed as she crossed to his side

he recognised her from around the neighbourhood Are you denying whas advisable

her laughter picked up she placed her hands to either side of her slight belly

                                                                                 Tell me ‘bout it. I just had to get out of the house my parents are killing me . . I’m just walking 'round aimlessly.

Well  I didnt think I was that obvious

Obvious?

Tha Im walkin aimlessly too

she chuckled flaunting her dimples

I have to say  laughter an smilin becomes you

Oh . thank you . . . I haven’t been smiling much.

Some wise mannot me said This too shall pass Christians have tried to cop it but it belongs to the Persians

she pouted Well, it can’t pass quick enough.

Nah ya don want it to A learning moment hardly ever does

                                                                If yare willing you can learn a lotMORE probably than ya care  ifya pay strict attention

Are youhave you decided to abort 

nodding wistfullyshe didnt look at him I am.

Your parents are blaming you

Yes. Unfortunately.

he shrugged unconvinced They never imagined in their wildest dreams youd become sexualNo not their little girl who  wha   is a product of Immaculate Conception

Oh Jesus, should have had you beside me when I told them.

Cute Not my place Vehemently I agree with youyour decision 

                                                                  Thawas hard  It was brave

I don’t feel brave.

they walked for a bit silently 

she kicked stones out of the dirt at the side of the road

No. I didn’t feel brave. 

                        I thought they were going to take it differently, the way they talked before otherwise.

Talks cheap

They’re my parents.

Talks cheap 

              Its all talk until it grabs you by the chinstares you in the face  Im sure their intention was good  However being and doin are two different thingsshame on you for growing into your sexual desires

they walked again silently

What the fuck, man, walk off on me?

People have places to be

They could have backe . . 

. . You could have pulled forwardparked walked back an engagedcompleted your conversation  with the postman

Get in.

Yes  I will  People have places to be

11AM,  Twosday,  5  4. 22

2034,  Thursday, 25  8. 22

Aretha Franklin  Until You Come Back to Me (That’s What I’m Gonna to Do)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJZwcaWResA 

https://medium.com/@AlexMohajer/the-old-man-and-the-dervish-3eff5f6661db 

bigfoot hadnt attack himhis leg in some time

normally a nonviolent relationship

however sometimes bigfoot gets a bug up his ass and believes hesagain an apex predator

hed been feeding bigfoot for nearly ten years

he thought they had hammered out all the bugs in their relationship

   but

feral is feral

           he had a deep and abiding affection for it in any of its myriad forms

after attacking him bigfoot faded backsmacking his lips

he did withhold biting him

it was the tines 

                front flopped back flipped an goneAdios fight an flight in furious seconds

having the big brain he withstood the attack

if he challenged bigfoot his wounds would be worse 

                                                       he withstood the suddenonslaught onslaughter the sudden retreatbuhbye

by not reactingholding his ground he extracted himself with minimal wounding

he didnt botherventure a look until he was in the bathroom gathering the peroxide and cotton balls 

                                                                                                        always his left leg caught him just behind the knee tender missed tendons  main damage was calf and shin to become more scars stitching older thin pale white scars together

                                      obviously he was an unfinished canvas 

                                                                                 thats the way he looked at it

there would come a time he was in no hurry that bigfoot wouldnt be here

his leg would be bigfoots testament

YES thats the way he saw it

kind of like a totem pole

153preferred,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  24  8. 22

345preferred,  Day-between-Two-Ts

Emerson, Lake and Palmer  Eruption  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqajTLTYvlU

at the top of the page was 6 Eh     Whawas tha bout    

    Might be 

              because he had been in Seattle felt like he was a stones throw from Canada Eh 

beneath 6 Eh he wrote monkey puzzle trees remembered writing it so he wouldnt forgethad asked his daughter once too many times Whas it called again  Ohyaah thank you

it was an awesome speciesbut trees moved him unlike few things didsecond only to buffalo for which he was a FREAK

if monkey puzzles ever got it into their collective unconscious to amble there was nowhere they couldnt go  their leaves were razorsharp  fearsome adversaries  could make one grovel 

                                                                    lacerations arent funcool scars  but not fun

Ah, but German women love scars. said Theo Kretschmar-Schuldorff a character from the feature The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp released in England in ‘43

                                            when he heard that he almost came off the sofa he concurred Yah man flew out of his mouth  but since he was a boy that made sense to him eventhough he didnt pursue itbounce his thought off anyone 

         Theos statement was his first confirmation

better late than never

penciled under monkey puzzle trees were written in red ink was abscissa Where was he going that day its the X coordinate the distance from a point to the vertical Y-axis measured parallel to the horizontal or X-axis the Y called the ordinate was otherwise parallel to the Y-axis  X, Y comprise the coordinates of a standard two-dimensional graph

nothing  nothing was coming to him   nothing at all 

                                                       he laughed  Nada  A Clean, Well-Lighted Place  Hemingway

Our nada who art in nada nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada as it is in nada Give us this nada our Daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada pues nada Hail nothing full of nothing nothing is with thee

he was like a dog chasing his tail

when he stopped runninggave up 

he saw he hadnt gone anywhere 

some days are like that

0922,  ReggaeFriday,  8  4. 22

122preferred, Day-between-Two-Ts,  24  8. 22

https://www.washingtonnature.org/fieldnotes/2019/8/2/trees-are-where-the-heart-is 

A Tribe Called Quest  Butter  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-lNdALkI1U 

he wears an eyepatch

pretty fuckin’ obvious

lent itself to questions

its not like when meetin someonelookin em in the face it can be avoided     

now they may not askgood manners  but yasee the question roiling in their eyes like a viscouscrazed lava lamp  how nice to have two eyes 

                       he remembered                               

butstill he hasnt met someone who also wears a patch 

if an eye is a prosthetic he wouldnt look close enough to notice 

                                                                  unless they were a woman  then hed see realquick 

he pointed to his right eye with his right index fingerwhy not take obvious to the edge

                                                                                               You curious bout this 

note he left it to curious  good manners are left off the hook 

FUCK 

      hed be curious

I am.

When I tellya youll never forget

Never?

Not ever 

          Youll be the hit of every cocktail party you ever attend

What happened? asked guiltlessly which he intended

After being incapacitated a wing gone awry wha I could do was feed hummingbirds  Healedup I did it for years until a fire ran me out of my apartment

At the new place I started again immediately

I literally groomed a flockbetter than three dozen at six different feeders woud go out into them around dusk when they were frenzied at their most hectic freakydivine I was lashed by their wingwash deafened by their sharp clickin 

A male bullrushed mecame right up to my face itd happened lotsa times before an eye to eye moment he tipped his head to one side like a cockerspaniel  but this jamoke mistook my assumption my guess mistook my iris as a port a queer beeguard an jabbed its bill in deepreared jabbed again  got a mouth full of aqueous humor funnyhuh didnt see if he spat  didnt return for more 

Headlight out 

Nothing the physician coud do 

An oops

1800,  Thursday,  18  8. 22

342preferred,  Twosday,  23  8. 22

turning onto his rightside he found the spotTha spot which eluded him after he woke during the night and casting back into sleep found episodesnot the hard sleep that cracked him on the jawput him down for the count 

                                                                                                         finding it was a delight  he truly wanted to go to sleephe wanted Now I lay me down to sleep  be laid to rest  but then he thought Thas why you aint being buried  hed be leaving himself to be laid to rest but couldnt depend upon someone to lay him correctlynot turn his headkink his neck  sometimes he woke in the morning and knew he laid wronghis head wrongneck wrong  he couldnt imaginelet alone tolerate an eternity with a fuckin kinkd neck and not the life in him to move his head and neck around or rub it out fiercely with his fingers EUREKA! Fuck tha! Torch me. 

he found the right spot didnt want to move

content doesnt cut it 

even Heaven didnt cut it

it was right where he wanted to remain forever

                                                   usually that spot happened after sexafter love if sex had grown into love  holding her  breathing in rhythm  having cum togetherno small task 

                                                                             quiet  simmering   ecstasy

Day stood in the doorway tapping a hard finger at the frame 

                                                               WAKE UP 

as a kid after his paper route delivering it in the cold and snow hed sprawl on top the metal heat register next to the wall and fall asleep as the heat blew through his sweater onto his bellycoursing to his nethersspreading up across his chest

LIGHTS OUT 

then a tempered kick in the ribs  his old man 

                                               WAKE UP, BOY.

Day being prickish

I knowI know I know its time to get the show on the road Gimme five 

                                                                         FIVE

Day would stomp up the hall into the livingroom least the muthafucker could do was put on some coffee

he took FIVEnot a second more

hed conditioned himself to know

then hed rousedidnt wake to an alarm Who the fuck wants to wake alarmed       

he slapped his pillow

made his bed up around it

told his spot Donya move  Ill be back tonight

not like SPOT was a dog that listened

he returned

laid down

tried his awfulfuckinbest to recreate it

  Now I lay me down to sleep

                               DENIED

helplessly shook his head

it was both their faults

though it was nice to think about 

                                   the promise got him through the day

a simple thing

evenif he told himself a little white lie 

0823,  Twosday,  23  8. 22

1018,  Twosday

. . Listen listen  he was forever interrupting

                                                 Tellinya  You do you  An I do me   Seems our bachelor an master degrees were nothing more than laying groundwork for the years an years wed be masturbating 

                                                                                             Im sick an tired of doin me

I needwe need to find affections who woudnt mind effecting us doin usCHING CHING an I aint talkin Chinese baby

he shook his headeyes closed I hear ya, man, I hear ya.

You hear me you hear me fuckin echo

                                           You the one nearest Nevada Tahoe twice this summer the one with cash to burndisposable income but you drag your tired ass back to chase locals who hold their sex tightas tight asif they were holdin their purses to their titties in questionable parts of questionable citiesthey aint putting out Aint no antediluvian sex passion mischief crimelets call it a crime cuzit aint been named yet headin your way 

                                                                                             Aint I know it  You shoud too

They stiff youstiff ya maybe gigglinslappin their knee as they drive off leavin you standing alone in the parking lot  Ifya look chances are spent rubbers are scattered allaround 

                                                                B B King man  How blue can you get  Thanks for the snack Anas Richard Pryor said Difference between me and a white man . . a white man drops fifty dollars for a meal and gets a kiss at the door. Me? I spend fifty bucks I’m fuckin’ something, even if it’s her dog, I’m fuckin’ somethin’. 

2002, Thursday,  18  8. 22

818PMpreferred,  Monday,  22  8. 22

B B King  How Blue Can You Get  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l45f28PzfCI

Pancake How did he get that name

I gave it to him. 

he found that written on sheet of paperamong others and many other scribbles it piqued him  he called his friend for the backstory couldnt remember off the top of his head 

Pancake. I’ll need some context . . offhand it doesn’t ring a bell.  

                                                                   then he tried to make light of his inquiry by asking him if blueberries were on top or mixed into the batter alluding to himhis preference for blueberries mixed in he disliked compote dolloped on top a stack of buttermilk pancakes and called blueberry pancakes  they aint

You told me he was a grade school classmate Id think if you nicknamed him thatd stick in your head

Yeah. 

         I got nothing.

Thas unfortunate Pancake was all yours an likewise will remain all yours buried in some hole in your memory Reminds me of a quote I heard Angels in America HBO Nothing unknown is knowable

Until it becomes known anyway.

he rolled his eyes sounded loud enough in his head that he thought he might have heard it on his end 

                                                                                                            he paused a moment for him to say What was that?  he didnt  So make the unknown known do the process don just say Thas the challenge isnt it Don be dismissive

Dismissive? How so?

Your remark until it becomes known anyway  I find that simplistic  

It’s simple . . we knew nothing about Uranus until it was discovered and now we know a lot. What am I missing?

Nice try at diversion We didnt discover it someone didmy point being why don you pursue something unknownfor now  stretch your mind your imagination

Couldn’t agree more . . that’s the basis of science, curiosity, progress, survival.

Im happy we agree  So dig in walls come tumbling down

I think walls are usually semantic.

Semantics Fine  Then share something with me other than walls 

                                                                     You keep diverting the conversation

One I obviously don’t want to have. 

                                      We’re nitpicking when we actually agree.     

Seems nitpicking ought to stimulate ones thought-process

On a whole other front . . I can meet you for coffee tomorrow or not until Friday.

Whas up Tuesday through Thursday

I’ve filled it with dates, you’re the one who has an open dance card, not me. 

                                                                                now trying provocation in addition to diversion

Ill seeya Friday By then youll have something to say or relate or maybe youll remember Pancake O Great Void in the Brain Pan

Friday.

          Pancake Boy is all yours, I wash my hands of him.

He wont wash off You named him

Pancake is an unknown for now. 

                                   Maybe he was defragged somehow from my conscious.

Or yare not trying 

                   Anif hes defragged ya might have some concerns about the rest of your brain and memory friend

Would you let it go. he was iratecould hear it in his voice 

                                                             Pancake Boy means nothing to me. I’ve got bigger fish to fry like remembering Pi, three point one four one five nine two six five three eight nine seven nine.

Just numbers you might be making them up I don know don care They arent people 

                                                                                         Yare quitting  I asked quote How did he get that name  You answered quote I gave it to him Either you make something up for Friday or make the unknown known

the irritation hiccuppedfaltered a sigh When and if the neuron fires that harbors Pancake Boy you’ll be the first to know.

Ofcourse the first Im the only one asking

259preferred,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  2  3. 22

1039,  Monday,  22  8. 22

he wasnt startledSUDDENLYrubyred dress right her youthful blackskin like tar her big smile like starchedwhite pressed shirt  her huge brown eyes humoured 

                                                 a young man left  inconspicuous  Howdy Doody  though no man carries a candle to a woman 

                      hes hopelessly heterosexual  heterosapiosexual

Excuse me he blurted while splitting themtipping his left shoulder cleaving them in two  she hurriedly replied No please, excuse us. in her voice a fascination that could have been moreseemed a prelude to conversation How do you do that?  he wouldnt have been curtthey were eye to eye she slipping just past himhe caught her scent citrus her friend sidestepped providing a wide berth  he wouldnt have been curt with her Lotsa practiseNO   he would have enjoined enjoyed her

then they were passed

she was too younghe was too old to throw a look back over his shoulder as much as he wanted  creepish isnt part of his vocabulary

           she  a match inadvertently struck in the dark flaring extinguished at the epitome of her conflagration

he returned to his book

1250,  Sunday,  21  8. 22

223preferred to 1423,  Sunday

he looked back over his left shoulder he couldnt see 

                                                       I cant sit here I cant see the clock The tree limbs are obscuring it

You can stand up, walk over to where you can see it, then return.

A lot of work rather than just turning my head and seeing it

I like it right here. saying so he patted the metal café table top

Enjoy 

       he stood picked up his coffee and crossed to a table that sat at the edge of the paver patio  he sat in the furthest chair  looked   the clock

he was not illprepared

his canvas bag slung over his shoulder inside were a couple of books clipboard of paper pens 

                                                                                                    hed entertain himself

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

he looked back across the two tables between them 

                                                       Do I look like Im bluffing

WE MET TO HAVE COFFEE.

We did But you know its always been incumbent that I can see the clockknow the time . .

. . You can see it from here, as I said, stand, walk over . .

. . Interrupt myself Glancing to discern time or wasting time to discern it truly anticlimactic anwho wants to interrupt a climax   Friend 

                  he felt it was a good argument  neither had been laid in awhile

                                                                                      I have a reason Whas yours

I SAT DOWN.

You can sit again

Christ. 

        You’re being unreasonab . .

. . No  I provided a reason  Yare being unreasonable

Didn’t mean to say, I didn’t mean to say.

However you did 

                   Whas the hangup  I SAT DOWN 

I don’t understand why . . 

. . No you don

               You don understand the necessity tha I contemporize You also don writehow many letters did you write this week this month  this year

Why write if you can call or visit?

You really want to go there I don think you want to go there  No 

                                                                     Get up off your ass and sit with me

no he didnt want to go therehe didnt want again to be dressed down for his entitlement be remindedagain  how easy things were made for him rightly accused of the indubitable glinting silver spoon

sighing he got uppicked up his coffee walked over ten feet and took the chair across from him 

                                                                                                   There. Happy?

I woudve been happy whaever the outcome Im not hard to please

1445,  Thursday,  17  3. 22

1100,  Sunday,  21  8. 22

William Basinski  Melancholia  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJe4FJ6qMDg

Siggyother

           nah  he just couldnt help himself Bennifer awedgobsmacked him 

at the time Bennifer made him puke 

                                    If memory serves me correct thawas early 2000s

I don’t knowcouldn’t say . . it was brilliant though.

Anhow old were you

That was nothing to do with anything.

I disagree You were old enough to know better 

                                                  Lets crack a window open a door it may have coincided with a T I A a transient ischemic attack  Or maybe a true righteous stroke shot fired across your bow needle skipping scratched record repeating repeating   repeating 

                                           Wha the hells siggyother 

Com’on, take a guess, play, have some fun.

I don think so Im irritable  Which is why I askedcut to the chase

Awcom’on . . guess.  a stupid grin spread across his face

  I  asked

his grin looked like a lousy frosting job some retard got their hands on a frosting blade but used the woodhandle not the steel 

      Is it twisting your panties in a knot?

No knot

         However in the midst of your cadre I can imagine they encourage you har har but Im disinclined to let you make an ass of yourself an not tell ya to your face Its not clever  Yare not 

                                                                               Siggyother Please   Wha is it

I think . . we, in fact, think it’s obvious.  A significant other.

  Ah I woudnt 

                But Im not one who woud describe or affix such a title to my better half  Therefore inobvious

You’re just being uppity.

I am not

Too good?

No  I don care for the terminology 

                                   Id happily call them as my partner in crime Otherwise  Nah   I have too much respect for them 

the smile sluffed

what replaced it wasnt attractive

maybe in a word revulsionYES 

                                 he was revulsed

whichfor him  was better than frosting 

                                          he cast a deeper foray Have you ever been in love Truly in love 

Yes.

too abrupt

love is not abrupt

kindling lit under teepeed sticks thicker sticks engulfing flames feeding more and more thicker bigger redhot coals split logs  a raging fire 

                         love takes work to maintain  but you didnt start it to let it go out

standingup he slapped him roughly on the shoulder 

                                                      Got to get going Thank you for the beer Ill leave you with your memories of love

Yeah.  the revulsion petering out

1240,  Thursday,  17  3. 22

0948,  Sunday,  21  8. 22

William Basinski  The Disintegrating Loops  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjnAE5go9dI