Hes a pretty sweet guy when he isnt being Bobby

she flinched like she was slapped  then howled 

                                                     I can’t believe you just said that!

Tyranny of family 

                    I didnt chooseup the team so whenever one crosses a line Im first to stomp their toes ridicule em 

No . . not really. 

                   You’re kidding? 

Im not

        We share a name anif they misrepresent me if they havent good sense to say theyre talking for themselves I catch wind of tha I come down like a ton of bricks Im takin no guff for wha comes out of their mouths  Me an mine don have many similar ideas

How is how . . is that possible?

Thawere unalike  Think   Have lived apart nearly two generations  Youll recall I left home at nineteen an Im the oldest They live within twenty minutes of each other except for one brother but hes a cretin

He’s a fireman?

Yes An officer

A first responder.

Yes  but tha don make him special It speaks more to the hierarchy hes willing to serve to submit to  In my mind scarcely a step above a GI 

                              Bobby was a GI  As I said hes sweet when he isnt being Bobby

I still don’t know what to make of that.

Nothing to make I accept it yamight as well

An enigma?

Sure he shrugged  Whynot Though I find tha generous

And you’re his brother.

Tyranny of family  a two way street           

1726,  Monday,  15  8. 22

1018,  ReggaeFriday,  19  8. 22

Gillian Welch  Give that Man a Road  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJEiPcnrdU0

as he spoke he could see it in his face that he was going to pull up short thought he had the brass ring dead to rights was sure  but misjudged the carousal ridehis pretty pony descendent as he passed 

                                                                                           he let him dangle a bit

subtly shook his head it was exhausting completing his thoughtsreminding him where he was going

Need a little help bro

either he looked exasperated or his pained expression was so practised itd become a reflex  kneejerk 

You know where I’m going?

  I do  

         But yalet me know when yad like me to declare your destination

I appreciate that.

he nodded Thas awright 

                           he knew where they werehe triangulated  so he decided to go off in his head visit The Book of Disquiet waking up 

                      “With the coming of the dark light that fills with gray doubts the chinks of the shutters, . . . I begin to feel that I will be unable to remain much longer in my refuge, lying on my bed, not asleep but with a sense of continuing possibility of sleep, of drifting off into dreams, not knowing if truth or reality exist, lying between the cool warmth of clean sheets unaware, apart from the sense of comfort, of the existence of my own body.”

YAH. 

      Could you help me out?

he closed the Book  Yes happy to help   Yare gonna kick yourself

Seems I do more frequently than I care to.

Hypnopompic 

               As yare wakingas opposed to hypnagogic  as you enter sleep

Yes. his head fell forward slightly   I don’t know why I can’t remember.

Whywoudya  you scarcely remember your dreams 

                                                       Maybe you might try this on for size HypnoPOMP Hypnopomp and Circumstance Impressive formal activities or ceremonies  Seems up your alley

My alley?

Certainly not minecorrect

No.  No definitely not.

                         A clever trigger though.

Yes Visualising  Imagery

Now . . . if I can remember.

he nodded  Anif Im around I gotcha 

259preferred,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  2  3. 22 

1219,  Thursday,  18  8. 22 

CunninLynguists  Hypnopomp  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXjuakp4E0s

diggin to China

he stoodup went to the studio door lookedright up the hallway to the laundry room at the left impeccable timing bomber appeared in the doorway 

                            So did you find a Chinaman

when bomber used the catbox he spent threefour minutes burying whatever it was he left sounded like he was digging to China

his Grandmother convinced him he could 

                                           she handed him a spade and told him to go out by the fence by the alley and dig to China  if he was real fortunate along the way he might unearth dinosaur bone or two

                                                                                                REALLY 

Yes, really Joseph.

Ohboy 

        the shovel was as big as he was  he had to go down the steps to the backyard carefully so he didnt trip on it  he dragged it to the fence then turned aroundlooked back at his grandmother 

                                                                                  Here

she waved sidehand waving him to her right

he dragged it fourfive feet  Here

she waved him a little further along  into the shade of the walnut tree beside the one car garage they didnt have a car

he dragged it another threefour feet  Here

shed flash him an okay with her hand   

he went at it

bomber reminded him of her words

he couldnt count how many holes he dug that summer

digging all afternoon his mother would come out and tell to him to put the dirt back  We don’t want anyone falling into the hole and hurting themselves.

No Momma

Hurry up now, we’ll be eating dinner soon and you still have to wash up. I left a towel beside the water spigot, fresh clothes, hurry Joe. his mother called him Joe his grandmother Joseph

Yes Momma

 

never did dig to China find a Chinaman or a dinosaur bone

1055,  Thursday,  18  8. 22

1130, Thursday,  18  8. 22

Gillian Welch  If I Ain’t Going to Heaven  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR-dUNg1FGg 

There’s a First Time for Everything  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIX_umnUXV8 

sipping his black coffeemind meandering the creep crossed it

                                                                the former twice House-impeached Senate Republicans hadnt the good sense or balls disgraced president the MAGA starletYES  muchmore effete than masculine

Miranda is going to be read to him “You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorneyBOSH!he refuses to pay them, one will be provided for you.” 

he may have to go that route a public defense attorney forced to work on his behalf

reap what you sow

  by the bye heard a real doozy yesterday M A G A  Make Attorneys Get Attorneys snickersnicker 

the telephone rang

                   he snatchedup the receiver put it to his ear went to speakshe tumbledbubbled over the top of him Wa waWAIT  lemme put my coffee down so I don scald myself 

                                                             his girlfriend making an obscene call she was truly excellent at it so freakin imaginative

2240,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  17  8. 22

1022,  Thursday,  18  8. 22

http://www.mirandawarning.org/youhavetherighttoanattorney.html

https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-struggling-find-good-lawyers-washington-post-report-2022-8

she saidshe swayed as she said You know, fight or flight . . I’m a flighter.

Jackie  a flighter

Yes.  No? she looked bemusedtickled his heart  Fight or flight, I’m a flighter.

Okay he thought flee but he wasnt going to fightbecause she wouldnt   besides he was havin onehelluvatime keepin his eyesup keepinem from wanderin down acrossback an forth over her tremendous breasts the freckles the furrow between them  sometimes ya gotta swallow a little pride to have a shot at the promised landAmen brother talking to himself they were splendid could take an eye out  he crossed his fingers

You staying to watch the movie tonight?

Were watching a movie  All I heardbout was a get-together

she grimaced It’s a scary movie I’m not keen . .

. . But you cant say no

I couldn’t I’d spoil their fun, evidently I bring something by watching it.

Cover your eyes Squeal

Yes. How did you know?

Because thaswha I do  I don care watchinem either

she giggled 

              So you’re not staying?

Are you

I will.

Then I have a reason to stay

To laugh at me?

No to be as uncomfortable as you

                                      Ifya like follow my lead  I don sit down

You don’t?

No

    I stand behind the sofa

To get a running start?

Yes  are you readin my mind

Can I stand with you?

Happy ifya did

Then Ill stand with you.

 

with the first fright she grabbed his hand 

                                                Do you mind?

No

second fright she tuckedup beside himthen squeezed in front between him and the couch

he put his arms to either side of her

Thank you.

she was antsykept shifting her feetmoving her ass against him

it became obvious

she turned slowly around between his arms faced him

My.

If youd like

  Ohmy.

he gestured with his chin

                              Yare missing the film his heart was beating hard 

she smileddimples she was killing him 

                                        I found something else I'd rather do. thoughtfully she leaned her forehead to his chin

dreamtime tetherin Saturday-Sunday,  13 – 14,  8. 22

1116,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  17  8. 22

a sleek glossyblack Jaguar coupe came up the drive into mall parking lot slowing down out the passenger windowtrying to lower it the driver cried  Hey handsome!

he was the only one walking handsome as he was but kept on his steady stride evenkeel 

he didnt know a damnsoul who drove a Jaguar 

                                                   let alone a guy

he crossedright behind the Jag off the pavement onto a wide islandgrass and trees a couple of benches to take a load off

crossing into another lot now his nose in a book The Last Days of Roger Federer he heard an engine approaching him from his right 

               he pulledup to let it pass continuing to read  it did not pass but stopped

he hated these interactions with vehicles vehicles smarter than their drivers he didnt read with his ears  he lookedup

Black Jaguar 

               Did you hear me?

he didnt recognise the man not young not old   they irritated him 

                                                                       Are you talking to me his irritation answered

I hailed you. hailing might have worked for him

I dondo hail an I dontalk to strangers like my Mamma taught me Have a fine day he brought the book backup to his face and crossed in front of the idling Jag

I KNOW YOU

Sssh Im a secret he mumbled over his shoulder

I KNOW YOU 

                  the Jag entered gear and rolledup on his right as he walked I SAID I KNOW YOU

So you said though I woudnt be able to convince my Mamma

Jag coasting You walk around town reading.

Evidently

How do you do that?

Practise 

You’re certainly not sociable.

Walkin Readin

                    No

You know, you’re a prick . .

. . Handsome  a handsome prick

                                    whoever he was he had to hit the brakes in order not to hit the island he steppedup onto then a brief drive 

                         then a right onto a sidewalk that ran beside thirtyfive miles per hour traffic

then back into his book                                                                                               

1320,  Twosday,  16  8. 22

1246,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  17  8. 22

he liked to mine mindspush buttons

                                        it was his nature

if someone knew him they KNEW that 

few did

          some thought their dictatestheir authority would subsume that

but they didnt know him   

he got into peoples headsperplexed them 

                                          cracked them like black walnuts he made battle  nuts confronted  crushed together in his hand  those whose shell broke he ate  he set aside the winners for rematches

to managements dismay the winnersthe shelled gladiators from bulk twentypound bags were celebrated  he set them atop three edges of his cubicle 

they had stipulated that nothingno personal effects could be visible  if they understood himthey hired him they should have known it was of no consequence to him 

                                                it wasnt their cubicletheir personal spacetheir working environment atmosphere

It seems to me  I don walk into your offices tell you wha personal things you may or may not display on your walls  Walls  Imagine  or your desks DO  I    So who are you to tell me

they backed off

how Wise were they

but despite his efforts he was the only one who refusedcrossed them

his coworkers toed the linedidnt follow his leadrefused  to side with him

their unequivocal submissionthey felt  allowed him to flout the norm

Its a gawddamn work place we spend eight or more hours a day here  It shoud be comforting

management was aware  they were content he was a one offan oddball 

                                                                            how flexible of them     

had he not been a linchpin between corporation and consumers things might have been different    

he knew that

they recognised it

so they turned a blind eye

mining minds isnt a sure thing

                                 anymore than staking a claim in Coloma California or working the confluence of the Klondike and Yukon

he turned soil

dug furiously

panned

sluiced

sometimes hard work doesnt pay off

which isnt to say it wasnt worth the effort

2125,  Monday,  18  7. 22

0104,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  17  8. 22

Neil Young  Old Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAtDrFdomN4 

for three years a sound on the telephone 

                                             for three years shed been a sound in his ear

defiantly there was nothing to be defensive of which is how he would have preferred he took it 

                                                                                                     Don try to diminish that

It’s been three years since you saw her.

I didnt see my familymy parents once for nearly five years But we talked every week  Woudya dare try to diminishminimise that

he picked at his cleft chin he was pretty sure he wasnt born with it as also not born with his foot in his mouth

Because its unseemly to you or however you woud characterise it thas you long ago we ascertained critically  You are not me 

         Im solitary 

You fall over yourself being social Yacoudnt be me if ya tried you crave others too muchtheir attention whereas I coudnt care less

But three years.

  Yes 

       An for three years Ive been a sound on the phone to her

I believe you dropped that ball might have hit below the belt  he prided himself on his fitnessathleticism  particularly when expounding on his long gone high school days  youthful prowess  whatever it may actually have been

Frankly, that didn’t occur to me. he was honest

No youll excuse me  it was apparent it hadnt 

                                                 You have a tendency to be myopicsee things through your experiences

we all do but if one chooses they can broadened their horizon or at least argue by looking from another a different perspective wear someone elses shoes or moccasins shoud we embrace the original Mary Torrans Lathraps Judge Softly 1895 or biblically Judge not, that ye be not judged. Matthew Seven King James version

Can't help but citing one thing or another, this or that.

Correct unless its me I prefer credit where credit is due 

                                                           I also read a lot An reading helps time pass so my three years are vastly slimmer than yours Toss tha in the mix while yare at it

I’m sorry man, no matter how you slice it it’s a hunk of time.

Perspective dude all a matter of perspective               

1946,  Sunday,  17  7. 22

1455,  Twosday,  16  8. 22

Judge Softly  https://jamesmilson.com/about-the-blog/judge-softly-or-walk-a-mile-in-his-moccasins-by-mary-t-lathrap/#:~:text=by%20Mary%20T.-,Lathrap,a%20Mile%20in%20His%20Moccasins.%E2%80%9D

he hadeveryone has a method to their madness

   routine 

             he had divined his routeblazed his trail  only if he beckoned a change a reordering did he take it 

                                                                                                                    she said So as she crawled under the enormous diningroom table cloaked beneath a crispwhite embroidered tablecloth did you have a plan for bringing me up here? he hadnt she seemed to have followed him although he didnt discourage her

maybe he should formulate one 

like a salesman she had one foot in the door

he watched her pleasinglyround fanny disappear under the cloth

                                                                       she wasnt his kindnot really however he was intrigued  she packed a fantastic shape on her small framelucky if she broke five feet she was tawny blackhair Mexican maybeIndian 

Well? her voice muffled she shook the chair that stood directly before him What’s the plan? seemed there was a pout in her voiceperhaps a seduction on life support 

                                               a woman with demands under an heirloom table that belonged to the family but that none of the them wanted  he had room they said  It’s Mom’s.

                                                                                  family twists wrists 

Are you pouting

Maybe I am . . I thought you wanted to play with me.

   Play 

         I love to play

Good. 

       Then make up a game and I’ll play, we’ll play.

Youre entering an subterranean underwater grotto Leave your clothing behind it was his game he wasnt asking Push them out between the legs of the chair in front of me

sounded like she sighed 

                           Ohmy . . it’s getting warm.

Warm Is it my little heathen   Very warm

Yes.

he began to hear little grunts from beneath the table between the pedestals the chair legs it was a confined space she bangedup against Ouch them on occasion he saw her feet shins calves 

                                                                            then her bundle presented                             

You feelin better  cooler

Yes.  Cooler. 

               If I stretched out spread . my legsmy arms . I’d feel better. Unencumbered.  

You can do whatever you wish  youre a nymph a naiad  

                                                           Youre unconstrainednothing  nothing  can hold you back

I could emerge?

Nothings stopping you

Can I make myself invisible?

Youre a female spirit you can do anything

I am making myself invisible.

I understand

Remove the impediment from before you.  her game she wasnt asking

Yes he snatched it away by its arms

she emerged head first

she had taken the ties out of her hair

it was long unbrushed unfurled in curly strands  hung like seaweed

she crawled slowly

her shoulders

the furrow of her spine 

Venus dimples

roundbottom

completely emerged she held an arm up for him to take

taking her by the forearm she lifted her headtheir eyes met  she smiled

as he helped her stand 

                            I’m invisible.

he groaned in his throat

standing close to himher full breasts at his belly she began unbuttoning his shirt I’m making you invisible too. I love your game.

0904,  Monday,  15  8. 22

1000,  Twosday,  16  8. 22

Nelly  Hot in Herre  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeZZr_p6vB8 

Gioacchino Pagliei  The Naiads, 1881  Naiadshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naiad#/media/File:Gioacchino_Pagliei_-_The_Naiads,_1881.JPG

the mirror at the end of the hall

he hung it for her

the bathroom mirror was plenty for himhe used it so he wouldnt cut his throat shaving with a straight razor

she had wanted it

he wanted her to have what she wanted 

he obliged

but she wasnt there anymore

it taunted him

that was okay

it taught him selfcontrol to keep his temper

he was volatile

any challenges he could confront and not lose his shit were teaching aides

school was difficult for him

teachers didnt help matters

had they been good teachersnot just making a buck he might have been less difficult

he rebelled against their manipulation

Well young man said every principal every dean in every school he attended it seems you have a mind of your own. What are we going to do about that? 

                                           Is that rhetorical 

Im doin Wha arya going to do  sir

the punishments would have been bettermight have convinced him if they were creative

Spare the rod, spoil the child. on rare occasions He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24.

he supposed while he was a kid they were all religious kind of like political office if you didnt believe in God you werent going to be elected

whats an atheist to do

                        Tell you wha sir  lets flip a coin 

                                                          Not rhetorical

he even pulled a quarter from his pocket

his money was no good at school

the mirror at the end of the hall

the fog in the glass was clearing

1824,  Sunday,  31  7. 22

1108,  Sunday,  14  8. 22

On your mark 

   Get set 

     Go

 

     NO  Questions about going on Three

What questions?

Yes Yamean one – two – three - and we go 

                                                Or

Do yamean one - two an we go on three

It’s not that hardwhy do you have to make things harder than they are?make them so confusing.

Goin on three presents two optionsways to go they differ  hence why Im tryin to be accurate precise

Just follow my lead.

I cant

You can’t? 

NO

     I don follow anyone particularly when theyre unobservant You didnt see whahappened with the clock just now

The clockwhat clock?

Right across the street on the corner In the park Look  Were facing it

Why you looking at the clock?

Im observant

No I didn’t see . . I wasn’t looking.

Wha time does your everpresent cellphone say  Ya have a fixationman Theres no reason to my mind it ought to be around when were taking lunch    

it laid on the café table between them

I like to be available.

Text or call youll be rude

It’s not being rud . .

. . It is Yare not being present

                                   Wha time

he looked

            Twelve to three, two fortyeight.

Look at the clock in the park

he looked 

            Six thirty. 

Six thirty doesnt look like that 

                                The minute hand yes the hour hand is nearer Seven

he looked again

                  I’m not sure about that.

Horseshit ya know damn well 

                                Don be contrary You grew up reading clock facesreading time 

Does it?

Damn right it does 

                     I saw the minute hand it was shaking as it neared the Nine The hour hand shaking  as it neared the Four its hands trembling  Then they collapsedfell

The clocks dead

Times died

You’re ridiculous. he looked at his cellphone the screen was black he poked it with his finger to wake it DAMN he depressed the power buttonheld it 

                                      it didnt work 

Grab your bootshold onto your hat something BIGs comi . . . . . . 

2237,  Sunday,  14  8. 22

1133,  Monday,  15  8. 22

REM  It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OyBtMPqpNY

Pink Floyd  Have A Cigar  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbdpv7G_PPg