when he looked for a friend he looked to books

two-legged offerings left him little to desire

which probably explained why he had a big library in a small house

books sat on chairs on the couchleaned in corners like drunks 

                                                                Don disturb them Their place Theres room on the floor

The floor?

           Are you joking me, sit on the floor?

Nah Ya prefer a seat ya can go outside an sit on the porchgot some folding chairs out there Theyre low Ifya fall out ya wont hurt yourself 

You’re serious.

I am Arentya

 

Sit on the floor or go outside, sit on a folding chair, neither sounds comfortable.

Awcomon comfort isnt all its cracked up to be 

                                                  Or theres the door ya came I didnt invite ya 

that curious pause always followed

tendered more times than he could count

You, ah, trying to be antisocial?

Nahnot at all

You’re not very social.

Ridiculous I have more books than I can possibly read in their entirety 

                                                                           I like how they smell too

 

not many got him

but it wasnt important if they didthey didnt have to 

he didnt have to get themhe didnt want to

he thought he was obvious

 

he almost hurt himself once laughing  somebody said he was like an unopened book

2308,  Thursday,  27  5. 21

https://fs.blog/2013/06/the-antilibrary/

Ive known me all my life

Which is why Ill cross somebody else before I cross myself 

1326,  Reggae Friday,  28  5. 21

 

 

sometimes he worked through a bookutterly fascinated then he comes across a passage or passages that appall him

reason why he didnt read horror except for H P Lovecraft

on top of reading The Federalist Papers for pleasure he read First Principles by Pulitzer Wurlitzer  couldnt help himself  Prize winner Thomas E Ricks 

the book is about “:What America’s Founders Learned from the Greeks and Romans and How that Shaped Our Country” gotta learn from someone

                             because he didnt have a mentor books took on that awesome responsibility

the reality was 

                 there wasnt someone he could throw in behind 

he usually looked over his shoulderbehind himself when he needed help anhe found he was at his backhad his back an lined up behind him were more and more hims as many as he might need 

                                                                               that comforted him when he admitted it others called it cold comfort  Aww he was happy they enjoyed cohortswas sofucking happy for them that they had friends stacked to the ceiling like cordwood

                                                anpossibly as dispensable

he put the book downstepped away from it for awhile

hadnt seen the old ONE – TWO combination coming 

                                                     ancertainly not from men who intrigued him

Jefferson stepped upleaned in

                                “I have no body living with me who could do it, and I am become too lazy, with the pen, and too much attached to the plough to do it myself. I live on my horse from an early breakfast to a late dinner, and very often after that till dark. This occasions me to be in great arrears in my pen-work.” 

                                                                                       he observed at one point his farm was producing sufficient potatoes and clover “to feed every animal on my farm except my negroes.” 

JESUS

TWO Maximilien Robespierre came on swinging  the leader of the French radicals who claimed his group was motivated by virtue 

         "If the basis of popular government in peacetime is virtue, the basis of popular government during a revolution is both virtue and terror; virtue, without terror is baneful; terror, without which virtue is powerless. Terror is nothing more than speedy, severe and inflexible justice; it is thus an emanation of virtue.”

he blew his cookies

FUCKED UP 

             Whawere they thinking

he could imagine wry grins on their faces  perhaps they conspired to sicken some one twohunred years later

no small feat

1234,  Twosday,  25  5. 21

they needed alchemy

they needed what medical science declined to give herthey didnt want a patient of their study to die on themskew their numbers  Marketing 

                        they needed what she was unable to give to herself

he was holding her hand

                          Whadaya think babe  Wanna go out on a limb

she was thoughtful they texted many times about it 

she noddedshe couldnt speak her marvelous voicetouching laughter had been silenced by her illness for months

they didnt need reason not sanity 

                                        alchemy

she possessed itshe confided in him years ago though she told him it frightened hershe was afraid to dabble in it he told her it frightened him  However people are fearful of what they don understand  Without your abilities Id be a child lost in a deep dark woods 

she noddedshe couldnt speak  her marvelous voicetouching laughter had been silenced by her illness for months

 

she smiled her beautiful smile the morning sun smiled back 

                                                             she closed her warm beautiful brown eyes she began meditating concentration not his strong suit she was gone for a halfhour  more

                                                                                     atasudden luminous colours in waves ran electric across her bodyher skinlike an octopus a squidshe shiveredher eyes worked madly behind her closed eyelids 

she said SPIRITS

                 he couldnt believe she spoke then he thought he couldnt believe his ears

the extraordinary visuals became subtle

                                                   then subsided altogether

she quieted

she fell deeply asleep for months she catnapped

 

 

late that afternoon she woke

he had relieved himself poured himself some water room temperature returning to her he took her hand again while she slept 

Hey sleepyhead that was a welldeserved sleep  Refreshed

she nodded sleepilyclosed her eyes again

he listened to her breathinglistened to see if she was going back to sleep deep rhythmic breathing  not sleeps breaths 

several minutes later she opened her eyes again

Peaceful he asked

she nodded

 

Did you say . . . Spirits

her eyes went to his faceroved over it

                                       her eyes said Yes. tears welled up in themher eyes said Yes. impossibly fat tears rolled out of her eyes Yes. enthused she nodded

Yes. Did he understand?

                 he understood  he lifted her hand to his face and kissed it  kissed it long   he could feel her eyes on the top of his head 

                     if he looked up he was sure hed lose his mind he needed every bit of it to be able to remember this and everything

1039,  Thursday,  27  5. 21

Emancipator  Jet Stream  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxLnAYAcqnM 

 

what a freakin delight 

                      his laughter woke him  then he laughed harderdisturbing the three cats in bed with him  the two younger ones fled 

                  Punks muled indie  indie was eleven he slept every night with him that he was home  he went back to sleep

gently petting indie he roamed through the dream that woke him his eyes closed it was daylight but he had been up three hours watching the Flower Blood Moon eclipse hadnt gotten back into bed until after five 

a dreamed certain bright lass had come to him three night running he was certain she wasnt a figmentshe existed somewhere he thought he might be penetrating her dreams as she was his

on the fourth night she shapechanged 

                                        she was darkcomplexed although the same curls attitudes the same infectious laughter that played throughout their interactions she betrayed herself  it was the certain ways she turned her headwidened her eyes when he teased confused her

feeling his waking coming on he asked her why she was disguised I can see you

the fifth night she shapeshifted again

                                       wildlyfreckled splayed across her high cheeks throat bosom dimpled redheaded  they spent the dream frolicking playing

again beginning to wake he asked her why her disguise Yare not fooling me

he wakened both morning without her replying 

there wasnt a sixth night 

                          he had gone to sleep too late slept too hard was too exhausted

the seventh night last night  after his time with the Flower Blood Moon she returned again the bright lass 

                                                                                                               Can you bark?

I can do whatever you like

that tickled her she laughed sounded like soft rain speckling the petals of yellowcupped poppies 

                                                                                                      You can do whatever I like?

I don suspect youll take advantage of me Unlike me of you

You’d take advantage of me?

OhMy the time weve spent together I dare say if I did itd be mutually advantageous

she laughed she didnt cover her mouth dimpled   exquisite 

                                                                 Alright now, back to business. Can you bark?

I said I can do whatever you like Whakind of dog big dog little dog hungry playful

Bark. Like a barker, a carnival barker.

Thats a different kind of dog Yah  Wha am I sellin

These. 

       she turned her back to him and motion him to come around to her side before her sprawled a long expansive table a brightred and white gingham tablecloth covering it on it was coloured tin platters of popcorn balls shaped like cartoon animals zoo animals marine mammals fish freestyled alien creatures some were the natural colour of white popcorn while others had tinted wings fins blushedcheeks wide-eyes others painted coloured cornsyrup 

What do you think?

I think theyre marvelous I can sellbark the hell out of these

turning to face him she had a popcorn animal in her hands she held it up for him 

                                                                                      For you.

You read my mind

she tossed her head laughed fullthroated 

                                            recovering through a broad smile she said I believe we have mirrored minds.

Yah  carnival mirror minds 

                             he took a bite delicious sweet salty a bite from between its legs then through some sticky crumbles on his lips popcorn in his mouth Tasty  I . . do . love eatin . . pussy . . .  cat

1319,  Day-between-Two-Ts ,  26  5. 21 & 2103

0954,  Thursday,  27  5. 21

Emancipator  Anthem  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KPw0EhUWA8                                                                                                                        

 

elevensomething in the morning

                                 he was getting workedup for the coming Flower Blood Moon lunar eclipse early next morning

figured hed be up by quarter to three catch the advent the fifteen minutes of total eclipse and as the moons brilliance began to return hed bid it adios he wasnt one for after-parties he attended events he attended weddings he ceased attending receptions because at weddings of recent memory he realised more people would be attending receptionsthe party than the wedding 

                           it galled him  so since he celebrated what ought to be celebrated 

You’re a stick in the mud, you just can’t have a good time, can you?

I enjoy a good time I resent the falsity of people enjoying a reception but not attending what the reception was for the bindingthe vow 

                 How was the wedding  The reception was great.

I don’t know what to say to you.

Don remember I asked you about the vows shared at the last wedding you attendedya said you were right up front I asked if they wrote their vows as it wasnt traditional they stood before a Justice not a clergy

Yes.

Remember I asked you what they vowed

Yes.

Whadidya say  tell me

I don’t recall, that was months ago.

Ya didnt recall three days later

I think I told you then it was the usual.

Yasaid exactly that The usual  then hyperbolically I said Ya mean Yada yada yada  Yada yadayada 

Why are we discussing this?

I donknow  maybe because a loving couple are forging a new life together and are making onceinalifetime promises 

Did they say Until death do we part

 

Yadon know  do ya

I don’t. I think so.

So much for the solemnity of marriage

Solemnity of marriage? You certainly have high expectations.

Cant make promises  just live together 

solemnity 

           he was anxious for the celestial eventhad always been keenly aware of celestial bodies the walkingtalking kind presented more frequently hence his awestruck fascination 

                                                            hed watch it alone

elevensomething 

he looked outside the bathroom window 

an exceptionallysoft cool breeze painted his chest

he had just finished showering

outside was calm quiet  neighbourhood dogs werent barking   still  the breeze wasnt high enough to move tree leaves

it was asif everything was suspended in crystalclear amber  embedded in a sheet of handblown glass onedimensional asif everything was waiting with him  suspecting that in the eclipse a portal opened and into it everything could talk could commune with departed loved ones  thankful their seeds fell where they did and flourished  thankful for their existence 

           one didnt have to have a tongue to speak with Eternity 

he did  but he didnt use it to talk   he wandered into the stream of collective unconscioussubmerged himselfbreathed like a fish  his happy neurons like palepearlescent octopi drifting symmetricspacey jellyfish 

One with All    

1130,  Twosday,  25  5. 21

1204,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  26  5. 21

Beatles  Revolution Nine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNdcFPjGsm8 

 

when he was a little boy he had a stuffed toy raccoon  anywhere he went the raccoon went with him   Tommy

he loved Tommy truly  he didnt go to sleep without him he did say anywhere he went

 

he was upset he was actually more than a little upset

he sat on a street curb with his granddaughter 

they had gone for a walk together and walked out furthur than they recognised they were taking five

Taking five, Grampa?

Were restin for a moment 

                          he was resting she was riding on his shoulders he did the same with his girls until he couldnt

shouldnt say couldnt should say his wife would say Put her down. She’s too big to be riding on your shoulders.   I could give you a ride on my shoulders if youd like   I don’t think so.   Yare not too big theyre not too big   People looking at the pair of you would think you’re ridiculous.   An you care wha other people think . I don 

out of the blue his granddaughter confessed that she accidentally Accidentally, Grampa. Accidentally, she said it three times  he didnt tell her that was an epizeuxis  usually he would I gave away a stuffed toy animal your sister, Aunt Lorelle, gave me for my first birthday. My Mom said. She told me. I still gave it away. 

his sister died not two years earlier

he supposed he couldnt blame hershe couldnt be faulted she was only one when she received it she was the first great niecefirst great granddaughter she received lots of gifts  she and her sister received lots of gifts for their birthdays and holidays the gifts almost seemed to be tributes and to his mind and taste they were too many 

                                                                                                    how was she supposed to remember one out of the glut she received

he gave her cash

many thought money was impersonal and mentioned it to him 

                                                                 Who asked you

it was a modest sum

he felt she was more likely to remember what she bought for herself 

                                                                        then when her money was goneshe was bankrupt when she couldnt buy what she wanted maybe shed think she should buy what she needed 

                                                                                                   it was a stretch

but every time he had the good fortune to spend alone time with her he mentioned it Need not want Buy whaya need Then occasionally treat yourself buy whaya want

 

he made her walk the rest of the way home   

0714,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  10. 19

1050,  Twosday,  25  5. 21

Stones  Can’t Always Get What You Want  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv9sDn_2XkI

 

he was reading the Federalist Papers for pleasure 

                                                     Federalist 10 to be specific  Madison attacked the view that pursuing one’s own interest violates public spirit  he resisted using virtue

meanwhile as he read he understood that Abigail Adams worried to her friend Mercy Otis Warren of men whose “self Interest is all more powerfull than public virtue.”  Benjamin Franklin likewise wrote “Sordid self-Interest (was) the natural Produce of base Minds.”

he agreed hardily with Franklins assessment

                                                how it was base Minds today littered the media landscape the public sphere conflicted him  he couldnt understand how so many of them were serving elected officials 

                                                                                                       unless baser Minds were at play  or were played

Madison wrote “The causes of faction cannot be removed . . relief is only to be sought in the means of controlling its effects.” 

         the way to provide to harness its energies its effects was by involving “the spirit of party and faction in the necessary and ordinary operation of government.”

                                                     use one mans interest against anothers  the more interests at play in politics the smaller chance one intense passion will prevail

 

Federalist 10 was published 22 November 1787

                                                   he couldnt help but wonder if Madison wasnt Spooky  clairvoyant

he might have been writing of Now

Base minds running amuck in Fear

                                   the uniting drivel of white Base minds     

1407,  Monday,  24  5. 21

The Bas Lexter Ensample  Run Home  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afIk5NwitqI

You concerned about going to Idaho

A bit, but not too much.

                           A bit.

Ya goin to church

I’ll go, you know, see how the other ninetythree percent live.

Yare not concerned about your daughter-in-law introducing you to churchwomen  Now that your divorcedseems to me she alluded to something of the kind when you last visited

If I’m invited I’ll go.

Why would ya go if yare invited  Ya don believe

Never can tell.

Wha

What do you mean?

Never can tell

               If fewer and fewer people are attending church then those who are are true believers  Youd still entertain meeting a churchwoman

I would; I think I would.   Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Nothing in common

Likely there'd be other things in common.

Yare missing my premise 

                          Ya have nothing in common  How would you engage a woman on her religiosity

I wouldn’t. 

           You’re assuming their religion is their . . 

. . Abiding North Star

You’re assuming there’s nothing more to them.

No  Religion is a dealbreaker

Dealbreaker? You think so?

Yah 

     If theyre in church in sparklingwhite Idaho it is an animating force  They believe  Yadon

I wouldn’t address it.

How could ya not  Itd be a dishonest waste of time

Not really.

Not really  Wha planet ya livin on  Play it out  Avoiding it how would ya know theyre interested 

You know.

I don

Of course you do, the look in their eyes, their body language, how they look at yo . .

. . Your Honor she didnt say . but the look in her eyes . her body language . . how she looked at me said it all  It was consensual  I did not force myself on her sexually                                                                                                                              Weak man 

Christ! How did you get me before a judge?

Because yare lying to yourself  Youd be lying to her

How did I lie?

You don believe in God  

                       A churchwoman in Idaho does 

Idaho don mean  I da ho 

Alright, smart ass, how would you handle it?

I wouldnt go to churchwouldnt look for a woman there

But if you did?

I wouldnt

Play the game. 

                What if you did?

Id be straightforward

Straightforward. 

                  What’s straightforward in your book?

Awrightawright  Takin into account I would not accept an invitation to go  if I met a woman who caught my attention innarested me

                Id say . . gotta pen . ya might wanna write this down

Please. Something tells me I don’t want to write it down, probably much less remember it.

So whos not playin the game now

                                    he pushed a clipboard of paper pen over to his side of the café table on the coffeeshop patio 

      All set  Its memorable

 

Yada yadayada.

Id say 

         If you get on your knees for Jesus  will ya get on yer knees for me

Jesus Christ!

Exactly 

        Immediately knocked off two of the threeonly politics dangling  Although  Idaho  Id say I neatly succinctly qualified all three 

You wouldn’t say that.

Ya know I would 

                   But not going to church because I do not believe virtually eliminates any possibility

 

1600,  Saturday,  22  5. 21

1459,  SunnyDay,  23  5. 21

 

Georg lifted his pale blue inside oystershell blueishwhite eyes towards him 

                                                                              he could see their light fade 

I was gonna say.  Georg said

Yah

Yah

You were going to say 

                                      Ya gonna say

Georg pointed an index finger like the barrel of a revolver at his skull 

                                                                        It’s tucked away in there. Safe and sound.

Tucked it into your Rolodex 

                           as he motionedtwisted his wrist made a fluttering sound twisted againfluttered  twisting  fluttering 

        The Rolodex you havent either alphabetised or titled your thoughts 

                                                                             again twisting his wristmaking a fluttering sound 

It’s there. Eventually I’ll find it.

But not in time for this conversation 

Yes. Likely not in time for this conversation.

Or in other words 

                    Lost

Misplaced.

Semanticsshesh

1545,  Saturday,  22  5. 21

1411,  SunnyDay,  23  5. 21

Sinatra  High Hopes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_HvBDorpzE 

 

he cant keep his name in his headkeeps checking his shoes

smells like he stepped in something 

                                        just another wannabe from a cherryred district in FloridaDaddys got bank

baby boy born with a silver spoon in his mouth that he thinks is a silver tongue slivered tongue 

                                                                                                     a speechifier

another annoying buffoon for the times 

admittedly his dislike was a matter of revulsion

he hopes DOJs case is of merit and they bring it soon 

                                                       wants the lummox out of the limelight

wants his shared roadshow in a deep roadside ditch

broke axle

broken necks

 

he couldnt wait for courtcouldnt wait for Gaetz to kavanaugh 

                                                                butthurt liars unable to brag

1500,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  12  5. 21

1030,  Sunnyday,  23  5. 21

https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/21/politics/gaetz-investigators-cooperation-ex-girlfriend/index.html 

 

               virtue 

                             virtuous  incestnot insect  incest   incestuous     funny how words make people uncomfortable 

                 he understood virtue before he knew there was a name for the feeling he had 

                                                                                                  anbecause it was between he an himself  it was incestuous

he turned brisklylooked behind him

                                         no  one   followed

making him thus more incestuous

Incestuous, by yourself? Please.

he cited The New American English Oxford  2nd definition 

                                                               excessively close  resistant to outside influence                        

Right on 

         Either yagot it or yadon  Yes yacan  yacan be incestuous alone

although he understood the argument that itd be nicer to be incestuous with someone elseOooh but beggars cant be choosers

John Adams 

fellow incest

               Public Virtue cannot exist in a Nation without private, and the public Virtue is the only Foundation of Republics. There must be a possitive Passion for the public good, the public interest, Honour, Power, and Glory, established in the Minds of the People, or there can be no Republican Government, nor any real Liberty. And this public Passion must be Superiour to all private Passions. 

                                                     writing his friend Mercy Otis Warren 

Really? Isn’t virtue passé?

Passé

Certainly you appreciate my question. 

                                         Isn’t it passé?

If it is then I believe were passé 

                                   Worthless 

Id kill for my mine or die for it

2339,  Saturday,  22  5. 21

Doors  Crawling King Snake  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV0buYqrRo4