he wrote better shooting from the hip

not following script no onenothing talkingwalking over his lines  Yamind  

I do. Time’s a wasting, waiting on you is like watching a pot boil, it’s gonna boil, it’s on the fire, what the fuck are you waiting on?

             So I'm not, an the rest of the crew isn’t either.

actually they werent nothinghad standing

                                             but explaining them to other people they said they were nothing Non-existent

Yaought to saddle up my pony he replied 

                                           why did he think they would understand  You give people too much credit. They aren't you.

other people werent 

                     those inside him he was a hydra they were

It's Mother’s Day, man.

Yah

Whacha got for the girls?

Im thinkin

Script!

        Thought you were shooting from the hip. 

Ill throw you a bone, an ivory rather. Get Yeller’s sperm whale tooth, the one a year later, hold it, remember when, and remembering you’ll open other doors, who else? Yeller’s a given.

My sister my mother my wife  They’re dead.  No matter theyll know My daughters friends who are mothers my other sisters aunts  Better, they’re alive.  My few friends  Good, you didn’t seek friendships anyways.  I didn’t

                                                                                                                 Feel better?

he didnt like to admit when they were right fuckin voyeurs You’re a voyeur. they had a point 

the tooth felt good in his hands 

                                 seawater and sand brushed smooth as a babys butt the other two were chalky Yeller found those not two weeks after the whale washedup in the cove

                                                                    Fathers Day

Fitting, isn’t it? No Mother's Day without Father's. You were, are, a good father.

Thank you

Shaddup. Today isn’t about you.

Yare correct  Happy Muthas Day

Fuck you.

338 or 1538 – he preferred 338 – rounder – and whas not to like about round,  Sunday,  9  5. 21

Ghostpoet  Freak Show  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUnqfB8PfzA

 

he loved learning things he didnt know 

                                          he thought he wouldve let him in on it  particularly when it was an acronym

which he detestedwhich most people he knew knew  he shouldve know better

RISUG  says he

                   he humoured himselfwondered if when he was confronted with RISUG did he think  AhYes, reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance.   

Yawanna speak English

It’s an intravasal injectable male contraceptive.

An I I M C  

I I M C?

eyebrows arched

                   Yah didnt he just say  Stutterers acronym for I - Im a cunt

I’m a cunt? 

                I don't follow.

A stutterers  I – Im a cunt NO  intravasal injectable

OhWow, you lost me for a moment.

It was a freakin nanosecondDo you listen to yourself when ya talkwhen ya hit me between the eyes with risug  ya didnt say R I S U G                               

                    I doneven have a guess for that  a five-lettered acronym  getting into USA Patriot Act territoryrather terroritory  acronym

What?

Whawhat

I asked what?

Nice  I can inform you  Nice to walk in anothers mocassinshuh

he extended his arms elbows bent at the hip wiggled his indexfinger middlefinger on his hands in unison  a subtle come on and fuck you at the same time 

Getting impatient

he didnt say 

              he just kept on wiggling his paired fingers

Irritatin isnt it 

                USA Patriot Act  Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism  Act  someones might pleased with how clever they were 

                                                                                      An to knotup a furthur irritation  they prefer  they is dictionaries  they prefer to call it not an acronym but a backronym  an acronym deliberately formed from a phrase whose initial letters spell out a particular word or words

Backronym  which Id rather call a backroomnym  Shit like that has to come out of a backroom in some fucking think tank  lotta time on their hands money in their pockets                                                                                                                               Don scratch your head nym is the shortened form of pseudonym  Nym is derived from Greek for name or word

his fingers had froze he was bored to death

Donwanna play Trivial Pursuit against me  I can killya with nonsense

Man, I forgot what we were talking about.

Lost the threaddropped it  Minotaur would be chowing down on you this very moment

I don’t get, I don’t get, but please don’t illuminate my ignorance . . please.

Ill sendya a memo 

                    Gives you an out 

Risug

Oh yeah. 

          And why are you beating me up.

Because you said Risug  Ya dig your brevity I don 

                                                      Say wha the shit means  Ya should know better than most so Ill assume you did it on purpose

It’s a male contraceptive. Aren’t a lot of male contraceptives on the market and I know you keep a fresh . . lemme . a prophylacticHA . . a fresh one in your wallet.

Yadon want them growing old nawouldya 

                                             Kindalike a knock on your manhood

My manhood’s fine.

Because as I recall birth control aint your problem 

                                                    Howdayasay   AhYes  Im not the one who gets pregnant 

Ya fit right in with your white Republican brethren an the few idiot females who follow in your wakeGawd knows they cant walk among youwouldnt be able to get the stink off ya  Right

You’re getting downright offensive.

I am offensive

               Whyya bringing Risug up  Your party believes women ought to give birth to their rapists children

Wha  Daddys little girls

I love ya guys think incest isnt out of line

 

You done?

We don have enough time  Go ahead  Now that Ive reminded you

I mentioned it because it’s been reported the U S  F D A wants to begin trials so it can be made available in the US market.

Injectable

Yeah. 

       A positively charged polymer gel gets injected into a small segment of the vas deferens, the gel attaches to the walls, it forms a kind of chemical mesh net which interacts with the negatively charged sperm, neutralising them.

Injecting  the vas deferens

A small section, yes.

Ya walked right into it

Walked into what? 

                   no fingers pulsing this time

Risug Rise up  Makes a vast difference

he made a spectacular groan

it seems they werent going to kill each other today

 

0855,  Monday,  9  9. 19

1424,  Saturday,  8  5. 21

Chostpoet  X Marks the Spot  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OmtRTqeW2s&list=PLeBKgyHu-S2ddNzSwk7vTEfttQm8jZOL3

 

the Former thinks hes clever 

                              its an old rhetorical devise appropriation actually its a childs playground bit

Im rubber yare glue whayasay bounces off me and sticks to you

CLEVER 

         it only took him 35,000 lies while president to warm him up to THE BIG LIE

now THE BIG LIE is being told by Congressional Democrats and Independents Republicants are in Nazi lockstep behind the corrupt Former

who grabbed pussy

who cheated on his wife

was twice impeached by the House

twice lost the popular vote by millions

incited an insurrection

is utterly dishonorable 

seems Republicants can swallow dick and not choke

1139,  Sunday,  9  5. 21

https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewsolender/2021/05/03/trump-says-hell-appropriate-the-big-lie-to-refer-to-his-election-loss/?sh=498a43775584

he had a ticket in his breast shirt pocket

over his heart

a ticket to ride 

               he wasnt stealing it from the Beatles  but if he was why wouldnt he steal from the best

a ticket to fly 

              fly to the front end of a hopefully long long voyage actually a trip  but the emotions struggling in his heart and brain lend better for a voyage  more poetic  a voyage he anticipatedhad anticipated  thensuddenly pressing up on him against him  No way around itnot that hed go around itavoid it run  runrun far  far   away 

there was that 

to deny it

           but he couldnt  he faced things head on always had  endured the bumps and bruises scrapes and stitches  he wore their scars 

                   nowsuddenly a new voyage was on him  an earlier voyage of happiness of anguish tears sighs panting  terror   was over    

                                   yet

yet 

        he couldnt say how he felt 

numb isnt a feeling

he stood by himself in the concourse he didnt hear peoplehe didnt see themhe was trying to digest what next was coming 

            trying to take  his   time

since New Years everything has been leading to it

a long nightmare a fantasy provoking a bad dream that couldnt possibly be realcouldnt be 

                                                                                                 despite knowing it was

a seesaw

childs game

suspended Ups

crushing Downs

equilibrium escaping him

 

she wrote deftly inside one of her perfectlyillustrated perfect-for-the-occasion notecards

I hope your trip brought some great closure to her presence in the physical world, and opened up her incredible spirit to enjoy anywhere.

his ticket was inside it inside his breast pocket

no

              not yet 

she wrote it to him for his sister 

                                              now he was returning to her

nowhere to run

nowhere to hide

he might suppose he was flying nowhere 

Departure time was drawing nearer and nearer

1732,  Monday,  9  9. 19

1022,  Saturday,  8  5. 21

The Beatles  Ticket to Ride  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acxfOgPWUls 

 

Seems to mehe caught himself  what did it matter what it seemed to him  seeming belongs to everyone

no ones seem was more important than the next 

                                                         or that was how it seemed to him

yet there were those who insisted their seem was more important than anyone elsethey werent shy

their blatant insistence made it easymade it Obvious for him 

                                                              like plucking ripe red apples or cherries from their leafy darkgreen boughs bright spot by bright spot by bright spot

he walked up to them  smiled grasped them a quick twistplucked them leaving them without their stem without their umbilical cord – a delicatelydepressed innie bellybutton – no need for plastic surgery – at least not for that

                                                                                                              clenched firmly in his hand he inquiredsincerely Why ohwhy pleasetellmewhy your seem exceeds others  Please ohpuhlease

patronising 

            Ohyesindeed  Indeedydeedy do

                                                  patronisinglyprovocative 

Inquirying minds wanna know 

                                Lemme ask yadon get out of bed to one side or the otherhe always got out on the right side of the bed yadon put your pants on one leg at a time  levitate right whaelse donya do like every other Tom Dick or Harry MaryJane Sally or Sue  or Jill

Im curious

he held them by their ripered fruit

in his enthusiasm he had to remind himself not to pick them up sure their tether would rip free

a mightbit too provocative a weebit too intense  too brusque  Yes  but brusque was informative  informed them their seem was too unseemly 

           or at least he thought so

Youll have to excuse my inquisitiveness my budding curiosity 

Didyasay 

           I donwanna talk over ya Ifya did my apology I was entertaining an interior monologue that often intrudes – is often rude – Here Lemme let go of ya  Unrufflesoothe the creases Ive  Ive impressed on you 

brush 

brush

brush

      There

brushbrush 

      There you go 

brush    brush 

      Theyre coming out

brush  brushbrush 

      You were sayinI trust you were explaining  Continue

he thought they might be more congenial brushing them off  no harm no foul  treating them with a preference he was sure they felt entitled 

      usually  they had nothing to sayDespite the outrage simmering in their eyeson their faces

but their particular outrage didnt translatedidnt lead to action 

                                                                         Nahnahnah heyhey  goodbye  they usually had underlingsenablers wannabes who were supposed to handle himkeep him at arms length  do their dirty work

when someones doin dirty work for ya you know youve arrived   . . somewhere

                                                                                     they didnt care for face to face

they flinched

they were docile

Say  Whars that fightin spiritThat can-do attitudeThat never say dieThat Over my dead body

Seems to meI gotta stop that      

1638,  Monday,  9  9. 19

1419,  Reggae Friday,  7  5. 21

Steam  Na Na Na Na Hey Hey-ey Goodbye  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoyvvEWHodk  

James Gang  Walk Away  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo0vBdlWQs0

Equality Before the Law Nebraskas state motto equality before the lawhmm he had no knocksno qualms he had a better motto though

he turned to his buddy who was driving they were five hours into six to cross Nebraska on US 80 

                                                                                                       Ya know Nebraskas state motto

I don’t, but I do know Illinois’ state motto.

Ya do Marvel me I do toojust didnt think you did

he turned his headlooked incredulously at him for a moment then turned his head back to the road

Ya know man thats the most emphatic youve been this entire trip

Well, I can’t believe you think I wouldn’t know, like everyone knows it, you don’t even have to live in the state. 

You know? 

Yah  Uninspiring  So whaya got

in profile he looked beatific 

                             Land of Lincoln.

Land of Lincoln is Illinois slogan

Slogan? Your wrong.

Wrong that Land of Lincoln is a slogan or that its Illinois mot . .

. . I’d say on both accounts.

Buckup State Sovereignty National Union  Boring  Almost as boring as Equality Before the Law  Nebraskas

I think you’re wrong.

I wont ask you to trust me Yacan look it up on your smartphone when we make a bathroom stop  Soon please

You got to go again? he screwed up his face

Toldya the Chinese food didnt set right with me last night Greasy bowels No treat

Alright, alright, don’t need details.

Wouldntve gotten details if ya didnt get short about stopping

I’m just saying it didn’t bother me, I don’t have to stop.

I do  so if yadon wanna stop I can shit in your car

he screwed up his face again 

                                Can you hold it eight miles? 

I can  But not nine

 

sitting on the pot he could relate to Nebraskas Equality Before the Law Actually it made sense  he was visualizing an equals sign  =  then a second added to the first  ==  a third  ===  then ten  ========== 

                                                                                                  Makes sense he said out loud  his voice echoed in the stall  Thats how flat Nebraska is   Hmmhe then wondered  he wondered if he sang if his voice would sound as good in the handicapped stall as it sounds in the shower  Acoustics baby he said out loud again

 

by the time he was washing his hands he conceived of a new state motto  Not for Everyone 

                                                                                                 then he pulled back  that was a slogan not a motto  he wasnt going to share it with his buddy  itd be for his own edification

 

getting back into the car 

                          Thanks for stopping man  Feels like my guts are emptied

What’s with you and details? Stop it, would you?

Awright awright  thought if I shared youd be less perturbed or more excited were good to go for the rest of the trip

Thanks. So I looked it up. Land of Lincoln. In a sense I wasn’t wrong. 

                                                                          he was looking mighty superior

Lemme guess 

               In the sense that a slogan is a short pithy  a memorable phrase used in advertising  A motto slogan and motto lazily interchangeable  such that a motto is associated with a political party movement or other group  encapsulating beliefs or guiding ideals 

                                         Kinda like concluding a vow  I do 

Jesus, you take your cellphone into the bathroom with you?

Stop Ya know my cell is ten years old and not smart 

But you are.

Nahnot really I am vessel that houses useless information Why Im good at Trivial Pursuit I don have to pursue

Yeah. Okay. You want to listen to some music?

So yadon have to listen to me

That obvious?

Saturday evening,  7  9. 19

1051,  Reggae Friday,  7  5. 21

https://www.thrillist.com/news/nation/nebraska-state-slogan-honestly-its-not-for-everyone

 

Nebraska 

           hed never been in Nebraska before  it was as flat and featureless from Interstate 80 as Iowa was  although not as featureless or barren as Nevada  he understood why Atom bombs were tested there

they spent the night in Sidney

in the morning they took Old Post Road out of town to State 19 crossing the into Colorado 19 turned into State 113 a road map revealed that he didnt see any posted signage for several miles that revealed the transition wasnt like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis 

                                       he played with a notion of Christchrysalis Christ inside trying to gerryrig a transformation into anyone other than himself because he knew hed be crucified  not unlike killingjars and butterflies pinnedup in shadow boxes for display  He really isnt any different 

                                                                        . . wasnt like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis given this countryside any splash of colour would have been nice

denied  he decided hed look for anything old thing that might tickle his fancy 

his buddy was drivingit was his car  he preferred driving to being a passenger it was his car  this morningbecause it was his car he also wasnt interested in listening to music  he wasnt interested in conversation

he was fullblooded German his parents born in-country  their War experiences as children vastly different

this particular morning he was mighty tempted to describe his buddy as Aryan

                                                                                   anwhile he thought Aryan amused himmisting his craniumhis crankbox he saw a lingering fence line  it was in disrepair  he saw no purpose for it  no crops no cattle no outbuildings  intermittent for miles and miles 

                                                                   probably its sole purpose was THIS LAND BELONGS TO SOMEBODY  NOT YOU   You saw the fence?   I did   So you understood the land belongs to someone?   I crossed onto it where there wasnt a fence or gate   But you saw, you must have, the fence . . 

. . Was not contiguous   That has nothing to do with anything. A dotted line is still a line.   Not where there is no dot 

the disrepair was curious 

                            there were thin weathered slats strungbound by barbwire between steel U-channeled posts  some wires had snapped  hunreds of slats were broken  often an unbroken line tentwenty feet at a time  slats looked like sheaves of whitened ribs or broken dangling bones 

                                                          he imagined he was looking on the fossilised remains of an ancient snake or snakes who died twined  in the throes of sex 

                                                                  if someone hadnt witnessed snakes mating theyd likely be impressedas he was  he wished he could be as fluid an flexible bendy an pliable sleek  as snakes

What are you thinking about? You’re mighty quiet over there.

I was thinking of fucking like a snake

Jesus Christ.

Nah Cant  Hes nailed to a cross hes got an excuse for not being pliable 

                                                                           Whas yours

0912,  Reggae Friday,  30  8. 19

1507,  Thursday,  6  5. 21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FghT80tVFKo 

Doors  Crawling King Snake  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV0buYqrRo4 

  

he wasnt going to let his buddys unenthusiastic reception of his QT cat house to fall on its face by the wayside 

                                                                                                                  hed not been a playernever threw himself out of a moving car to meet a woman DAMN hed be the shy one at some orgy 

since moving away they hadnt seen much of each other they kept in touch with letters his letters  occasional telephone callsa couple a year his calls

                                he supposed over the years he was a lifesaver of sorts  oxygen  defibrillator  fire extinguisher  IN CASE OF EMERGENCY  BREAK GLASS

THEREto the left 

                a conceptual house of ill-repute flashed him again  Lucky Gal  a 50s storefront nearly across the entrance to Highway 235 off East Universitywithin a stones throw of the university AWCOMON wha mixes better than students away from home and sex

Right there 

           he stuck his arm out under his nosefinger pointing  There Lucky Gal

glancing his buddy barked Hey, man, I’m tryin . .

. . YahI wanted you to see opportunity QT Quick Trick didnt impress you

a red awning ran the entire length of the shop like a bloodybeacon Lucky Gal

after having a glance he took the long diagonal ramp right up to the 235 

Check her out in your rearview man  Lucky Gal shes begginbeggin pretty please  Cantya see

Man, you got a real bug up your ass about whores.

No Not whoresno whores 

                           Iowaahhaahha State begs some spicestate begs some hills an thrills an curves an cleavage Its as flat as an unfortunate teenage girl

                                           Imagine

You imagine, I’m driving.

 

Im always imagining 

You always are. Keep it up.

No problem there man No problem

0822,  Thursday,  29  8. 19

1048,  Thursday,  6  5. 21

Leonard Cohen  Last Year’s Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_rJxVfe7vo

Adam Jensen  Pretty Please  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpHS9-VyDuw

John Lennon  Imagine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAn-AWXtHv0

 

as they rolled into Des Moines Iowamebbe not into  through not something hed want brag aboutwrite home  Maw! Never guess where I am; Des Moines Iowaahhaahha nobody could tell him that an Indian princess wasnt named Iowaahhaahha one was named Hiawathaahhaahha aka Ayenwathaaa and Aiionwatha don give him one couldnt run vowels togetherslam themstack themOH FUCKwhich didnt howl an excoriate a sigh of Almostalmost aaalmostSHIT ohshitIm cumming

                  whawas he talkin about

Ohyah 

      Des Moines understoodcould have guessed its French likely named for Riviere des Moines which means River of the Monks or as Americans would have itIowans would have it the Des Moines River 

                                                                                      Iooohwans  he wasnt letting go of those vowels 

entering on Interstate 80 along the highway he saw billboards advertising QT

                                                                                  Aint so QThuh he said to his buddy who was driving

QT? What are you talking about?

The QT

What about it?

Wha about QT

Yah, you’re killing me, what are you talking about?

Whadaya understand QT to mean

Quick Trip. It’s a gas stationfilling station.

Quick Tripnever heard of it

Never heard of Quick Trip?

It wasnt around before I left Remember I havent been to the Midwest in forty years

They’re everywhere, a huge company.

Anthey advertise as QT

You’ve seen the billboards.

QT on the QT  means on the quiet secretlike  get it   a billboard aint quiet

Whatever.

                               Jesus whatever  drove him nuts  sofuckin dismissive like being poked with a cattle prod

so prodded  he was provoked

I got an idea 

            he stared into his buddys ear sure his staring at him was going to make him uncomfortable and provoke him

he put his hand to his ear covering it 

                                     What are you looking at, man?

I was gazing at the endless flat land for as far as the eye could see through your ears Aint nothing in between your ears man

Yeah, you got an idea, what? Christ.

I got an idea yah lets open a house of prostitution and call it Quick Trick use their advertising

                                                                                                   Im brilliant Im so fucking brilliantIm brilliant

What are you talking about?

Enough Im the idea guy  Ya got the connections out here Make it happen

You’re out of your mind.

Anso another tremendous idea takes it in the ass 

                                                   Thadbe one of the House menu items

0821,  Thursday,  29  8. 21

1331,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  5  5. 21

Fela Kuti  Expensive Shit (afrobeat)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmXvpuseXWU    

 

Arise all Aris in the house

                             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wJQIptLlNM  the 17:46 minute-mark 

Moscow Mitch has gone tribalist cabalist 

                                           he announced he intends to obstruct 100%  any humane legislative programs the Biden Administration have proposed for benefit of the American people

1746,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  5  5. 21

 

 

(0919hrs)  Yeller texted him and his brother-in-law (she was at it three hours ahead of them on the West coast)

  :  :  Was thinking of the two of you enjoying coffee together this morning. Love you both.

(0921  he replied  :  :  HA . .uncle went to work and I’m at the post office to mail a bill and get stamps for letters and postcards – remember those?

(1001)  Yeller  :  :  Quick! Throw out a song I should listen to right now, first one that comes to mind.

(1002)  :  :  Baby Love  The Supremes

                                            (1004)  Hope I was quick enough! I had to set my latte down, dig out my fone – treating myself – ordering it I thought of the Americano I sipped while I waited for you from Kristin’s; how beautiful you were, smiling, dimples, watching me from behind the wheel, idling in the fire lane.

(1005)  uncle  :  :  I’m at work living the dream.

(1006)  Yeller  :  :  OMG!!

No wonder!!! 

               (1007)  Thank you for playing. I was celebrating an AWESOME bfast. Full of Joy and Grace. I thought of you and music and texted you.

                                  (1008)  Baby Love couldn’t have been more perfect.

                                                                                          (1008)  Yes, very good. 

(1008)  Had huge breakthroughs Monday and Tuesday! I can clear my throat and am swallowing much better.

(1009)  Had an Ensure, an apple kale avocado smoothie pouch and a full Waterloo in just over an hour.

(1010)  Simply being and letting them soak in.

(1011)  he texted  :  :  Fantastic, love!

(1012)  Yeller  :  :  Thank you thank you thank you. I did that with a rolling bow.

(1012)  :  :  I ordered a slice of coffee cake with my latte.

(1012)  Yeller  :  :  Like coffee cake.

                                         (1015)  Fuck yah! 

                                                               (1015)  That sounds darn good!

 

(1037)  Yeller  :  :  YES YES  YES. Of course it did!

she might have been responding in the chain to a text she received that was written outside it

then the trail went cold

he wrote Yeller a letter addressed an envelope bought a postcard a sketch of the German bakery and wrote I love you and I miss you very much  Buzies dad  leaving he doubledback to the post office and mailed them

he walked back to his brother-in-laws house

(1246)  Yellers husband  :  :  Hi All  they denied our appeal. Onto a different path.

there wasnt a different path 

“different” held promisethats what he believed

he didnt know what everyone else thoughtwhat different meant to them

a different path to him was another way to recovery to health  he bought in hook line and sinker 

turned out the different path meant Yellers decline 

                                                   meant ALS would take her     

 

0919,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  28  8. 21

1121,  Twosday,  4  5. 21

The Supremes  Baby Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd43nWkgUzg   Shadowfax  The Dreams of Children  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSduXmyCLQ0