28.9.19



he had to have a bear suit

something akin to Smokey Bear sans the capthe Smokey inscribed beltbuckle the snug bluejeans a bucknaked an anatomically-incorrect bear suit

a brown bear

Griz
     it was his preference not prejewdice  Save your breath


he needed ithad to have it it was necessary

he didnt just want it



his wife godbless her was a freaking saint

she didnt question him

they always supported each othersupported the others needs

thats what people who love each other dowhat they provide

if either needed something the other pulled out all stops to help it happen

L O V E
        Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it


Not so fast you silly boy she saidcopping it from the Mothers – she knew she would pique him  You’re set on a Griz?

I am

Alright. Well then, curiously snough, I know exactly where we can go to get one.

she amazed him Yah

Yah, baby; you’ll have to trust me.

Trust Stop  Lead on

she smiled it was a curious smile  he wasnt going to ask  everyone has their mysteries if we didnt have our little secretsthey were utterly exposed wed bore each other to death 
she certainly had hers

he returned her smile Youre something else babe

You arent telling me something I don’t know.

No Im not More I dont know an I dont mind

You’re a good boy.

An youre sensational

Thank you.


they got into their car and rolled out into the countrysidewent over dirt roads  she got him turned around an getting him turned around was half the gamegetting him lost getting him that he couldnt track back where they were

Where the fuck are we 

You lost?

Yah  But you know I dont mind being lost

No you don’t. 

We’re almost there.

Thatd be between lost and thoroughly lost

I imagine.

he nodded  affirmed

she smileddimpled up real big   

Say love  I owe you a huge kiss when we stop movin

You do.

You wont have to remind me

Never have.

he smiled he wished he had dimples


within ten minutes they rolled up on a decrepit homestead a faded babyblue Ford pickup stood under a shabby lean-to hung off a leaning barn how they hadnt fallen over was beyond him

she killed the engine

he slid across the benchtook her in his arms and kissinggroped her too 

she giggled  he kissed her deeper and quieted that

he got hard

he released her

she patted his laphis cock Save that for later, baby; we’re on an errand.

Yah he croaked its yours later

she smiled devilishly On our way home.

she patted him once moregave him a squeeze 

Yah he closed his eyestilled his mind with blueseas icefloats penguins  fuckin tuxedos always flattened his heart rate

she leaned on the horn it planed outdidnt catch or echo off of anythingdissipating into the arid disused fields didnt even rattle the slack barbed wire

he watched the doorway beyond the screen door the front door was apparently pulled backaside way back on its hinges or it wasnt there

a grizzled old man one strap of his bluejean overall over a shoulder a stained longsleeved thermal probably held up by the single strap appeared

he smiled a broken tooth smile through the screen then held up a finger he disappeared back into the maw

his wife didnt say anything to him

he didnt say anything to her

they sat waiting



he finally came out onto the porch

the toes of his boots curled up  

he walked like they were too big for him

he waved

when he waved his wife got out of the car and made a beeline for him

Hey, girlie! he heard him say

his wife left her door open the keys in the ignition 

he slipped out her side


as he approached the old man and his wife they were chatting amiably familiarly

he didnt know him from Adam

Ernie his wife said as she stepped aside as he came up on themshe hadnt looked to see him approach This is my husband, Joe.

Ernie stuck his hand out like it was loaded on a spring Joe.

he took his hand Ernie

Wifey tells me yare lookin for a bar outfit.

that stunned him a might

I am

Well, she brought ya to the right place; I knows where we can go to get ya one.

Go  Not here

Here? Why would I have a bar outfit here? I got outfits, just not bar outfits. We’ll roll another fivesix minutes from here; sure Wally’s got one yall like, that’ll fit ya.

that was an assumption he thought I hope so

Wally loves his bar; he’ll fix ya up, won’t cost ya an arm an a leg, ya know, ya being a fellow enthusiast.

Huh maybe he was an enthusiast  he hadnt given it any thought beyond needing a bear getup

We’ll take my truck. If I tried to give ya directions I’d just gitya lost; sometimes the words come out wrong. Best to shaddup and roll, like a duck to water, duck cant tell ya how to git there either, smells it.

they werent rolling a minutehis wife sat between them and he was thoroughly lost  dust smoked everything

he didnt say so Great place to lose a dead body


Ernie was spot on

six minutes

but whos counting he was

Dis be da place! Wally! Ernie cried

Fuckin carbon copy he thought  their homes might have been part of a tract project

Ernie asif reading his mind I shared my blueprint with Wally when he arrived out here. That way Im able to find the can; Wally’s a miserable hoarder, shit stacked everywhere, but damn if it aint insulated, staves off the cold when it gets cold; I hang with him when it gets inclimate.

Inclimate Enthusiast he wouldnt have guessed Ernie knew the words Quit with your judging he thought Who the fuck are you

chastised he put it away

Lookin for Griz, yah?  he hadnt even taken Wallys hand

Yah Thank you

I prefer black bar; Griz overrated.

Sew em, myself; keeps me mighty busy. If I had to depend on black bar though, I’d starve. Come in.


hoarder floor to ceiling piers pylons walls  fuckin neatly stackeddamn near organic  asif they grew there

Y’let me know ya need the can said Ernie Sorry, I apologise, city folk, the facilities.

He can go shit or piss in da field said Wally Needs fertilizing. 

Wally winked at him

However I can helpIm happy to

Excuse me said Wally I’ll be back; I’m positive I got just what ya need.


damn if he didnt knock it out of the park like it was custom made he admired himself in a full length mirror slivered between two stacks of newspapers This fits like it was made it for me

Saw ya coming, boy, saw ya in a dream. Glad ya dragged yer feet before saying anything to yer wife. Few days earlier it wouldnt’ve been finished.


it was reasonable as his wife said 

he didnt have to have her negotiate for him



on the way homehowever she found her way he told her to pull the car over  Get your ass in the backseat baby

they went over the back of the benchseat

he thought they might bounce the car off its tiresflipping it

in the golden hour the sun setting a stripe of sunlight across her face and breasts those marvelous breasts she said breathlessly  Wow, that was a sensational fuck. Want to treat me again later tonight?

Your wish is my command


it wasnt the first time he thought his wife was a witch

0901,  Reggae Friday,  20  9. 19
1444,  Reggae Friday,  27  9. 19
The Mothers  What Kind of Girls Do You Think We Are etcetera etcetera etcetera  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DHHMuuluxA
The Eagles  Witchy Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJY2fX3pVM8

27.9.19


sometimes you read something that grabs you by the throatreally shakes you up you have too much in common with the writer

not often

but the few times that presented themselves to himThem Yes all he could think was Get the fuck out of my head

then hed get creeped

hed check to see when the writer died

he crossed his fingers that they and he were alive at the same time a timelineVenn diagram their lives overlapped 

then he couldnt be they
                         he wasnt a fan of reincarnation or reinrose or reinlillyofthevalley he didnt want a scent of possibility

he resisted remarks that his writing reminded someone of anyone else

writers had distinct voices

atleast to discerning readers


still though
            it gave him chills when he read a writer that might have lifted wholesale thoughts he had but hadnt developed yetcommitted to paper

chills at first

then it tickled him

he repeatedly admittedif conversation had gone in that direction that there was nothing as an original thought or concept

thatd be audacious

for as long as man has consciously schlepped the face of the planet  and mused  thoughts are reruns only occasionally did someone care to record them
                                   and thought they oozeddrooled about in Jungs mire of the collective unconsciousness

from there they bubbled up into existence



“I’d never seen anyone else touch her and you can say what you want, but the things you think, and the things you actually see, are altogether different.”

when he read that he felt the wheels coming off his ride


Elliott Chaze didnt die until 1990

they inhabited the planet at the same time

he wished he read Black Wings Has My Angel while Elliott Chaze was alive

he would have written him a letter of thanks 

he also would have asked him to stay the fuck out of his head


1356,  Saturday,  21  9. 19
1137,  Reggae Friday,  27  9. 19




a dog laughed 

sounds weird

but thats the only way to describe it 
                                                            

a dog laughed



he was laying in bedwaking

it came in through the screen window


the dog laughing wasnt the most unusual thing he awakened to

he awakened to his college roommates daughter

she woke him to ask if he was coming down for breakfast

I dont eat breakfast

No? What if it were breakfast in bed?

Never have

Me neither, though I’ve always been curious.

queer that theyd have a common bond 

they just met earlier that week

though they had known each other from holidaybirthday telephone calls over the years


they had breakfast in bed

never leaving it

0704 & 0722,  Reggae Friday,  27  9. 19


his money was on the whistleblower being a professional women who tried very hard to inform her superiors of grievous White House wrongdoings and then sought protection guaranteed her

he didnt usually have gut feelings

he couldnt say  particularly  that it was a gut feeling

but if the whistleblower proved to be a man  hed admit he was wrong

he wouldnt double down
                           he wouldnt suggest that later the man would seek to reorient themselves to their desired feminine gender

0005,  Reggae Friday,  27  9. 19

26.9.19


dorothy closed her eyes and clicked the heels of her ruby-red slippers together There’s no place like home; there’s no place like home; there’s no place like home; there’s no one like Putin an I wanna be like him; there’d no one like Putin an I wanna be like him . .

dorothyOops Trump said: “I want to know who’s the person, who’s the person who gave the whistleblower the information? Because that’s close to a spy. You know what we used to do in the old days when we were smart? Right?” 

hes so damn funny
                     ya gotta laugh

2333,  Thursday,  26  9. 19


        Ah
                         he didnt know who but he could imagine their possibly mindset the disgrace they inhabitedor maybe didnt  maybe they had slipped so far from an inkling of shared humanity that they felt whatever they did was warrantedwas fuckin alright  believing It's yours to clean up, all yours!

perhaps they had disassociated themselves from regular societypolite society so why shouldnt it pickup the pieces


coming off the sidewalk beside the main street he hopped up the first two stepsthen stopped  his left foot poised above the thirdstopped when he saw the stillmoist dribble staining the face of the fourth concrete step and puddle half a saucer at the crease where the two joined 

someone had loosened a shit on the concrete stoop above at the top of the fivesix steps

to either side of the stoop were thin bushes directly above it danced slender ash limbs he had to duck beneath them as he sidestepped the coagulated pool and spatter

whoever shit scattered dirt atop it like a cat who defecated in a catbox he hadnt thought of public walk as a catbox before
       despite it he laughedretained a sense of humour  he could imagine the individual perched above and within fifteen feet of a busy city street as a surly king or queen scepter in hand who thrilled emptying their ecstatic bowels before their kingdom because they could  they jetted their wet BM before all the knaves serfs servants ladies and lords
Have that; I give it to you. It is yours.


it had to be gratifying
                        at some level he couldnt yet discern  or comprehend


1448,  Monday,  23  9. 19 
1455,  Twosday,  24  9. 19 



prudent American history -- makes one wonder -- had the signers of The Declaration of Independence been prudent  America might never have been   



Director Maguire explains why he acted as he did why he declared time and time again he was being “prudent” in face of an unprecedented complaint regarding the president and his subordinates 

Dear Prudence  “meet the brand new day”  “open up your eyes”  


prudence reminds him of those who watched out first for their own ass 
                                                                           theres no courage  particularly when regarding a SEAL veteran and military commander                                                                          

as he understood
                   the SEALs are a team the “individual” is nonexistent because an “individual” would upset the military concept of “team”


apparently Acting DNI Maguire has selected the “team” that would inflict upon him the least harm

in his boyhood vernacular hidin behind yer Mamas skirt

1348,  Thursday,  26  9. 19
Beatles  Dear Prudence  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQA59IkCF5I    

25.9.19



the kid looked like a ginger Tom Sawyerno Huck Finn atall no mischief no spitting in his palm when he was lost slapping it with two fingers and going in the direction the biggest gob of spit led No no perceptible charisma a foot soldier a devotee one who took orders and followed them without question
                                                                               just the kind of person either Christ or an evangelist would love unerring  unquestioning

all that cascaded in his brain as they approached each other on the main road through town

he knew the town

he was an outlier

his daughters still couldnt believe he was living there after his wifetheir mother died

he smiled patiently explained that it was their choice to move to it to live in a more rural setting  Youve made your choices as women  You didnt have a choice when you were girlsI know that 

Iyou must know love being a fly in the ointment a stick in the eye a burr under a saddle Im happy here up in their face

You know that

they did
          still theyon occasion wondered where hed go if he didnt live there

I havent a clue

If I were unhappy I might give it some thought

But Im happy



Excuse me the ginger asked after they exchanged nodschimed hellos Do you have a moment?

Yes

the young man extended a pamphlet towards him I wondered if you might . .
. . Ohno he said abruptly looking into the gingers hand he glimpsed GOD halfway down in its text GOD is always written in capitals and bold he wondered if GAWD was insecure
No thank you

Im not a believer

Not a believer? ginger was incredulous his eyes suddenly went wet a cherry  a cherry presented to convert a Christians wet dream  he could probably taste it

Not a believer? again it had to be echoing shallowly in his erotic imaginings

Correct  Keep your pamphlet

ginger did not withdraw it
                            enthusiastically he chimed just like saying Hello When we die, all of us, when we die we’ll all come face to face with Jesus Christ.

Not me

Did you want to talk about it?  the pamphlet still hung in the space between them  a rope a lifesaver extended to a drowning man who hadnt any idea he was drowning  We could talk about it.

We just did
             he had no intentions of cockteasing the boy any furthur


1440,  Monday,  23  9. 19
1308,  Twosday,  24  9. 19





the problem
             a problem he realised a long time ago is prevalent and persistent and unwarranted it seems an obsession that people have that they have to ask others what they think he or she ought to do that theyfor some odd reason have to be told or assured what their mind is what they should do


whether position or status whether professional or personal  they bear strictures and responsibilitiesobligations that we know that we understand

when he went to dinner he didnt ask his date or whoever he was eating with what he should order

perhaps simplisticyes
                        however one knows what theyre supposed to do Do it Dont ask permission or questions in order to perform your assigned designated responsibilities


too often hed been asked  What do you think?

blandlynearly blithely he responded I know you know what youre supposed to do Dont ask me Im not flattered you have



do what you know youre supposed to do

precedent exists

if someone wants to change the rules

you better damnwell ask why ask them their reasons 

if their reasons arent good enoughthey dont convince you call them out

if need be go over their heads


challenge their authority


hed been doing it since he was a boy



he was called cantankerous
                              how could he not wear that as a stripe of honour

he was cantankerous

Thank you hed reply


0940,  Day-between-Two-Ts, 25  9. 19